So Shines a Good Deed... by HudsonHawk
It was 1 AM on Christmas Day, and Jimmy Quinn had realized that he had forgotten what he had looked forward to most during the holiday season.
Eggnog. Dammit, I forgot to get eggnog.
That incredibly tasty yet fattening beverage that he looked forward to all year... he had forgotten it. Then again, he had a lot on his plate already. He had taken in a unicorn from another world, gotten her a job at the hobby shop he worked at, Curious Goods, and they had both put in about several lifetimes worth of overtime as the holiday rush hit. They had finally been able to put up the Christmas tree about a few hours previously, Jimmy telling her what Christmas was all about. They had exchanged their gifts early, both taking in that warm and fuzzy feeling of making sure that each got exactly what they wanted for Christmas. Then it hit. He went to the fridge to get some eggnog to split with Rarity... and realized he forgot to get it.
“Rares! Stepping out for a minute! I'll be back!” He had shouted, throwing his green trenchcoat on over his favorite Hawaiian shirt, jeans, and black hi-tops. He had finished the ensemble with the Fourth Doctor scarf Mom had crocheted him a couple years ago for Christmas.
“What for, darling?” Rarity had asked.
“Just realized I forgot eggnog.”
“Eggnog?”
“Possibly the greatest beverage known to mankind. They only sell it during the holidays, and I'll be damned if I don't get some before they stop making it for the year.”
“Really? All this for a drink?”
“When I bring back some, try it. You'll see why.”
"I'm coming with you." Rarity had said, throwing her maroon jacket on over her black blouse and jeans.
"Why? It'll be in and out, just like that." Jimmy had said.
"With these roads, and... well... you being you..."
"I see. Come on then."
Thankfully, Rarity and Jimmy had found the one mini-mart that stayed open during the holidays. As Jimmy threw the bag of nog into the backseat of his '64 Chevy Malibu, he noticed something odd.
There was a girl, around sixteen, walking to the bridge up ahead. She was a pretty girl, but she looked like she had been crying. It seemed that she had thrown a coat and boots on over a set of pajamas, specifically ones for “Frozen.” The happy, smiling face of Olaf the snowman just seemed to mask her true feelings.
Rarity noticed her as. "What is she doing out here at this hour? Shouldn't she be at home?"
Jimmy thought for a moment. Odd time to be taking a walk... in your pajamas... near a... bridge... Then it hit.
"Oh, God." Jimmy said softly. "Tell me she's not..."
She started to climb over the rail. "She IS..." Jimmy started to panic.
"What's she doing?" Rarity asked in shock.
"She's gonna jump!"
"WHAT?"
They weren't professionals, but Jimmy didn't see one in sight. It was up to them. He quickly managed to calm himself down.
“Hello there!” He shouted.
The girl turned around, a bewildered look on her face.
“I said, hello there!” Jimmy repeated.
“Hi... hi there.” The girl replied as Jimmy started to walk up with Rarity in tow, and she climbed back over.
“Odd time to be taking a walk.” Rarity said.
“I could say the same for you two." The girl replied.
“Oh, just an eggnog run. A lot of overtime at work makes you forget.” Jimmy said, trying to be as calm and as casual as possible.
The girl looked away.
“If I didn't know any better, I would think that you were planning on killing yourself.” Rarity said. Jimmy facepalmed. Smooth, Rares.
She didn't look back. “Why do you care?”
“Why shouldn't we?” Rarity replied. “Do we have to have a reason to care that someone's going to do something stupid?”
“You don't know me.” She said. “For all you know I could have a good reason.”
“There's never a good reason for suicide." Jimmy said. "Not unless you're laying down your life for someone else or you've got a terminal disease. I don't see you taking a bullet for anyone, and you don't look sick.”
“I don't see any other way.” The girl replied, the tears starting again.
“There's always another way.” Rarity said.
“Not in my case.” The girl replied.
“Well, tell me about your case, miss...” Rarity started
“Ana. You never gave me your names.”
“I'm Rarity, and this is Jimmy. Now, what's so special about your case?”
“Well, Rarity, I just can't take it anymore.”
“Can't take what, exactly?”
“Everything. I just can't take everything. Just go away.”
“We're not leaving. Not unless you convince us that whatever problems you have justify killing yourself.”
“Fine. You want to know why?”
“Shoot.” Jimmy said. He then looked horrified. "I mean, fire away. I mean... jeez." He facepalmed.
"It's OK, Jimmy." Ana said."It's not like I have a gun to my head. If you must know, I'm bullied at school for being gay.”
Rarity looked incredulous. "Why shouldn't you be happy?"
Three, count 'em, three facepalms. "Aw, God." Jimmy said.
Ana looked at Jimmy. "Is she for real?"
"Sorry, she's from... California." Jimmy replied. Ana got a look of that explains it.
"I'm not-" Rarity said before Jimmy elbowed her.
"For tonight, you are." He hissed. He then spoke to Ana. "So, you're gay. And..."
“It's just the cherry on the shit sundae!” Ana yelled. “You want to know more?”
“That's why we're here.” Jimmy replied.
“Fine. I was adopted at six. I've wanted to kill myself since I was thirteen...”
“How old are you?” Rarity asked.
“Sixteen.” Ana replied.
“Jesus...” Jimmy said in shock.
“Oh, let's continue!" Ana said, laying the snark on with a metaphorical trowel. "I have severe depression... I'm gay and get nothing short of hell for it... my parents put me down even though they know how depressed I am, and in the past three years, I've been sexually assaulted FOUR times.”
Jimmy just looked shell-shocked. Rarity looked like she wanted to just hug her to death.
“I knew you wouldn't understand.” She started to step over the rail again. “It was nice meeting you two."
Rarity started to cry. "We failed, Jimmy. I can't believe it..." She was cut off by Jimmy waving his hand.
“I may understand more than you think.”
Rarity glared at him. "WHAT?"
Ana stepped back. “Really? You?”
“Yes.” Jimmy replied.
“Are you gay, too?”
“No.”
“You adopted?”
“No.”
“Your parents put you down?”
“No.”
“Then HOW in the HELL can you UNDERSTAND what I'm going through?” The sentence was punctuated by Ana shoving Jimmy in despair. As he fell to the ground, Rarity grabbed one of her arms in defense of her friend. Her sleeve fell... and that's when they saw the scars. Scars from cutting. To Jimmy, they were the unmistakable signs of self-harm. Rarity was shocked. "What were you making that hurt you so many times?"
“Rares, those aren't accidents." Jimmy started, a somber tone entering his voice. "She's a cutter. She self-harms. It's a twisted way of easing pain by causing it." He got up. A look of concern came across Rarity's face.
"Why do you do this, darling?" Rarity asked as Ana yanked her arm back.
“Just leave me alone.” Ana said, walking back, as Rarity buried her head in her hands and sobbed. Jimmy had had enough. As Ana stepped over the rail, Jimmy followed.
"Darling!" Rarity shouted. "Get back over here this instant!"
“What are you doing?” Ana asked incredulously.
“You go over, I'm going too.” Jimmy said matter-of factly.
“What?” Ana and Rarity said in unison.
"For someone who wants to die, you're showing an awful lot of compassion."
"Because I don't want to take anyone with me! Why..."
“Because if your life means nothing, then neither does mine. If I can't stop someone from killing themselves, then what good am I?”
Ana just looked at him with an expression that screamed what the fuck?
"Darling..." Rarity started, but Jimmy charged ahead.
“You know, I was bullied a lot in school, too. There, it was because I was an overweight nerd. I kept to myself a lot. In high school, that behavior led to kids saying to other kids not to say a lot of insulting things to me, as they thought I was going to mastermind the next Columbine. That really hurt me. Things did get better by my junior year. Those that bullied me either dropped out or graduated by then. School went a lot better for me.”
“Being bullied for being a nerd and being bullied for being gay are two different things.” Ana replied.
Jimmy soldiered on.
“You said you have severe depression?”
“Yeah.”
“So do I.”
Ana looked at him in disbelief. This man, a man who dresses like he was a candidate for the role of The Doctor, suffers as well?
“Yes. I have depression. It came on about nine years ago, and it was the worst I'd ever felt in my life. I didn't want to get up in the morning. I could never get to sleep. I thought about hurting the ones I loved. It truly felt as if I were losing my mind and there was no relief in sight. I came close to killing myself as well.”
Rarity's jaw dropped. Oh, darling...
For once, Ana looked at him in shock. “Why didn't you?”
“Because I thought of my family. My friends. Sure, it would be a release, but there would be no coming back. I'd be gone, my family and friends would forever wonder why I did it...”
Jimmy was starting to tear up as he relived that time.
“I finally told my mom what was going on, and I got help. It turned out I had Asperger's syndrome. It and depression go hand in hand... no, strike that... they skip hand in hand down a country lane singing 'Hooked on a Feeling.'”
Out of the corner of his eye he could see her stifling a laugh. He continued.
“It explained a lot of my behavior as well. Why I kept to myself, why I love movies and TV and video games so much that I can tell you trivia at the drop of a hat, and also why I felt so terrible.”
“What did you do?” Ana asked, curious.
“I was put on anti-depressants. I've never thought about it since. I've been trying to come out of my shell, and it's still an uphill battle. What matters is that I'm still here and I've never gone back.”
"Darling..." Rarity started. "I never knew you... had it... that bad..."
"She has it worse, Rares." Jimmy replied. "She needs your love more than I do."
Ana continued to look at him. “Why are you being so nice to me? No one's ever been nice to me.”
“Because I'm human, and I don't like to see people in pain. Killing yourself is just a permanent solution to temporary problems. You'll get older. You'll leave the jerks behind that bully you. You'll move away from your parents and if what you say is true, then you'll thankfully cut them out of your life and never look back. You'll meet a wonderful girl who'll love you for who you are. You'll stop cutting. You'll touch someone's life. Hell, you've already done that.”
“What do you mean?”
“You've touched mine and you've touched Rarity's. Hell, I'm about to jump off a bridge for someone I barely know just to show them that life is worth living.”
Ana was speechless.
“You'll never know what will happen if you kill yourself, Ana. All you'll have are what-ifs and no way to see if they'd pan out. You wouldn't see if they regretted mocking you and bullying you. I'm guessing you wonder why you were born, too?”
“Yes.”
“That's the fun of life: to find out why. If there's something I've learned from all the crap that I've been through in life, it's that while we may make mistakes, life itself is not one. The only way to prove all your tormentors wrong about you is to live. Just live.”
Rarity was on edge. "Please, Ana... don't do it."
Ana was in utter shock. “Jimmy... Rarity... " The tears started falling as her voice cracked. "What am I doing out here?”
Jimmy smiled. “That, my friend, is the right question.”
Thank God. Jimmy thought. Thank God.
Thank Celestia and Luna. Rarity thought.
She stepped back over the rail. “Aren't you coming?”
“I would...” Jimmy started. “Can you guys help me back over? In the heat of the moment, I forgot about my fear of heights.”
Ana was silent for a moment. Then Jimmy heard it. One of the most wonderful sounds in the world. She was laughing. It seemed to be a laugh that had been years overdue. It was utterly adorable, as if it were the laugh of a chorus of angels. The laugh was so contagious that Jimmy joined in, just as loud and just as happy. Rarity followed too, as their voices converged to make a chorus of heavenly laughter. Then...
“Seriously. I need help getting back over.” Jimmy said, shaking like a leaf.
After the ladies helped a very scared Jimmy back over the rail, Ana just had one question for the pair.
“Why were you two so nice to me?”
“Because we're nice to everyone.” Jimmy replied.
“Nobody's ever been nice to me.” Ana said.
“You just haven't found the right people yet." Rarity said. "There's a lot of jerks out there, but there are also a lot of good, honest people who would care about you if they knew you. You just have to find them.”
“People like you two?”
The question made Jimmy blush in embarrassment with the intensity of a thousand suns. He looked over, and Rarity was looking away, a splash of red on her cheek.
“Yes... people like us.” Jimmy replied.
“I wish I could be one of those people. I have more flaws than a sack of potatoes just pulled from the ground.”
“Ana, we all have flaws." Jimmy said. "That's what comes with humanity. As long as you acknowledge them and try to fix them, you're a truly good person. And if you succeed in fixing them, it's a bonus.”
“You really mean that?”
“I do.”
The three stared at each other for a moment. Tears started streaming down Ana's face. She sobbed as she reached out for someone, anyone to hug her and help the pain go away. She found Rarity, and she pulled her into a hug. Her other arm found Jimmy, and he joined them, hugging as tightly as Rarity.
“I'm going to stay.” Ana said through her tears.
“Thank you.” Jimmy replied, as he started to cry as well.
"Good for you, darling." Rarity said through tears.
The trio hugged for a while as it started to snow again.
“Can you guys take me home?” Ana asked.
“Of course.” Jimmy replied. “The Quinn Express is parked over there.” He pointed at the Malibu. Ana walked over. Jimmy followed suit, opening the back door for her... and then he had an idea. He then started checking in the back for something.
“What are you doing?” Ana asked, as Jimmy wrapped a large, multi-colored scarf around her neck, similar to his.
“My uncle knit this years ago, and he gave it to me. It's a bit old, and it's got a few holes in it, but it's still pretty warm. I kept it in here in case I forgot the one that Mom knit me.” He said as he gestured at his own scarf. “You looked cold, so I thought you should have it.”
“Really?” Ana asked.
“Really really.” Jimmy replied.
It took fifteen minutes for Jimmy to find Ana's house based on the directions he gave her, but there they were, parked outside.
“You sure you want to go in?” Jimmy asked. “I could always take you back to the bridge. I won't stop you this time.”
“I'm sure.” Ana replied.
"Positive, darling?" Rarity asked.
"Yes." Ana said.
Jimmy put the Malibu in park and got out, opening the door for Ana. "I'll be back, Rares." He said to his friend. He then turned to Ana.
“If I leave you here, will you promise to go right inside?” Jimmy asked.
“Yes.” Ana replied.
“Pinkie swear?” Jimmy held out his hand, pinkie finger extended.
“Pinkie swear.” Ana said, wrapping her pinkie finger around his.
Jimmy hugged her tightly. “Keep the scarf.”
Ana's face was one of adorably pure joy. “Really?”
“Yes.” Jimmy replied,
“Thank you.” Ana replied. As she started to walk towards her house, a thought hit Jimmy.
“Uh, Ana, hold on a minute.” He said, as he rummaged through his coat pockets. He pulled out his sonic screwdriver pen and a business card for Curious Goods. As she watched, he wrote down something on the back.
“This is my cell phone number.” He said as he gave her the card. “You think about doing this again, you call me. I'm always willing to listen.”
Ana looked the happiest she had ever been since Jimmy had met her. “I will.” She then looked downcast.
“What's wrong?” Jimmy asked.
“It's just...” She started. “You two have done so much for me, and I have nothing to give you.”
Jimmy knelt down in the snow and looked in her eyes, something that took a lot of effort due to his Asperger's. “Just live. Just go ahead and make something of your life. Just make yourself and others happy. Just keep smiling that beautiful smile. What year in school are you?”
“Sophomore.”
“Two more years and you'll never see those bastards again. With any luck, they'll either graduate or drop out by the next year. If they don't, just remember that after graduation, you'll only see the people that you want to see.”
Ana kissed him on the cheek. “Thank you. I 'm glad you were there.”
Those simple words hit Jimmy like a shotgun blast to the face. He froze up.
“I... I... I don't know what to say...”
“Just be happy, huh?”
“I will. But first, just stand there... because I'm going to hug you as tightly as humanly possible.”
“Go ahead.”
Jimmy and Ana hugged for the last time that night, and Jimmy kept his word: it was as tight as humanly possible. It was what she said next that slugged his feels.
"You and Rarity... you're my heroes." Ana said.
"I'm no hero." Jimmy said, looking away.
"You helped save my life. You're a hero to me."
"I'm just a dumpy, nerdy, white guy. I'm not hero material."
"Nobody looks on the inside, Jimmy. If you weren't a hero, you wouldn't have risked your life for me. There's a big heart beating underneath that tacky shirt. I hope you realize it."
Jimmy was speechless. "It's not tacky. It's from the Thomas Sullivan Magnum line of menswear." Jimmy joked, smiling from ear to ear.
"What?" Ana asked.
"'Magnum, P.I.' A bit before your time."
"I'll look it up."
The pair laughed.
“Goodbye, Ana.” Jimmy said.
“Goodbye, Jimmy.” Ana replied, as she headed toward her house. "Goodbye, Rarity!" She shouted. Rarity waved back.
“Ana?” Jimmy asked.
“Yes?” Ana replied.
Jimmy paused. “Merry Christmas.”
Ana smiled. “Merry Christmas.”
Jimmy didn't leave until he saw she was safe inside. He returned to the Malibu and slid behind the wheel, his face one of pure thought.
"Bit for your thoughts, darling?" Rarity asked.
"She said something to me that nobody outside my family ever said." Jimmy said, eyes ahead.
"What? That you should burn that shirt?" Rarity quipped.
Jimmy chuckled. "No. She said that... you and me... we're her heroes."
Rarity looked at him. "She did?" She asked, joy on her face.
"Yeah. I've never been told that. Ever."
Rarity put a hand on his shoulder. "You deserve it. You saved her life."
"No, Rares... WE saved her. And even after what she told me, I still don't believe I'm one."
"Jimmy, look at me. Look me in the eyes." Rarity said as she grabbed his head and turned him toward her. "You remember that movie we saw... 'Schindler's List?'"
"Yeah." Jimmy replied. "I remember the talk we had afterwards, about World War II."
"But, do you remember when they gave Schindler that ring?"
"Yes."
"What did it say?"
"It was a verse from the Talmud. He who saves one life saves the world..." It hit him. "Entire..."
"If saving a world does not a hero make, darling, then I don't know what would."
The emotions of the past hour finally caught up with him. Jimmy put his head in his hands and cried tears of joy. Rarity pulled him into a hug as she started to cry as well. Whoever said it was right: a good cry DOES cleanse the soul.
Jimmy started the car and drove away, taking the pair back towards Curious Goods and home. He plugged his iPod into the car radio as Rarity asked a question.
"If gay doesn't mean happy in this case, what does it mean?"
"She's attracted to someone of the same sex."
"Ohh, we have those back home! Fillyfoolers!"
Jimmy mulled that over. "Filly... foolers?"
"Yes. The male versions are coltcuddlers." Rarity replied. "Why does she get bullied for being gay?"
Jimmy took a deep breath. "Because people fear what they don't understand. They don't know why people would be attracted to the same sex, so they bully them and tell them it's not natural. It is. It depends on how your brain is wired. But, ignorant fools don't listen to facts, and they keep on bullying others." Jimmy's voice took on a sterner edge. "In recent years, there's been a rash of suicides of gay teenagers. These are kids that had their whole life ahead of them, and they were cut short because a bunch of ignorant assholes got it into their head to tell them what was right and make them feel inhuman. They're people, Rarity. THEY'RE PEOPLE! They're not monsters, they're ordinary people. You want to know the true irony, Rares?"
"Sure." Rarity said.
"A lot of the people who bully them... they're gay themselves."
"Why do they keep doing it then? Shouldn't that give them incentive to sympathize?"
"No. They're in denial. They don't want to realize that they are what they hate, so they redouble their efforts. It's times like this that I am truly ashamed of my species." Jimmy hung his head in shame.
Rarity tucked a hand under his chin and pulled his head up. "You're not gay. You don't share those bigoted views. From what you tell me, those ignorant people are in the minority, darling. They only seem vast because they're louder. Those that care should be louder than they are and drown them out. Your species has the capacity for both great good and great evil. I've seen both, with World War II and tonight. As long as there are good people out there, humanity has a fighting chance. Without evil, darling, there would be no good men to fight it. It's the same in Equestria. You have nothing at all to be ashamed for about humanity. It'll find it's way, just like ponykind."
Jimmy processed this. "You really think, so Rares?"
"I know so, Jimmy." Rarity replied, the most adorable and infectious grin on her face.
"Now, I believe we have eggnog to drink, darling..."
As they drove home, Jimmy mulled over the last hour, and one sentence in particular stood out.
“You've done so much for me, and I have nothing to give you.”
Jimmy thought. You gave me the greatest Christmas gift of all, Ana. You left me with the knowledge that I made a difference in someone's life, that I'm someone's hero. That's the kind of gift you don't see very often.
The Malibu had turned onto Norris as Jimmy's iPod hit something really appropriate...
The New Radicals were right. We only get what we give.
7:30. It was closing time at Curious Goods.
Jimmy was straightening shelves, and Rarity was counting the total in the till.
The door opened, sounding the bell.
"I'm sorry, we're close-" Jimmy started.
There, in jeans, T-shirt, tennis shoes and a coat, was Ana. She was grinning from ear to ear, and, to Jimmy's delight, was still wearing his old Fourth Doctor scarf.
"Ana!" Jimmy said, running over to hug her. "How lovely to see you again!" He turned to the register to see Rarity's face light up in recognition.
"Hello, darling!" Rarity said.
"Hello, guys." Ana said. "I just stopped by to say thank you."
"You're welcome, darling." Rarity replied. "We're just glad to see you happy and alive."
"I'm getting into therapy... for the cutting, and what happened last night. I hope it works."
"So do I." Jimmy said. "We're always here to listen. Just stop by. The Gleesons wouldn't mind."
"The Gleesons?" Ana asked.
"The owners, darling." Rarity replied. "They consider us family, and I'm sure if you told them what was going on, they'd consider you family, too."
"I... would love that." Ana replied, tears in her eyes.
"You stop by once a day, whenever you can. We'll listen to you and we'll try to help." Rarity said. "I have the feeling that something to look forward to would help you take your mind off of... well..."
"I understand." Ana replied. 'I have something for you guys. I know it's not much, but..."
"You don't have to give us anything." Jimmy said.
"I insist. I drew these when I got home last night. I wanted to give you something that was as much from the heart as what you did for me was."
She handed over two manilla envelopes, one made out to Jimmy, and the other to Rarity. Rarity opened hers first:
"It's absolutely lovely, darling." Rarity said.
"You reminded me of a Disney princess. You were kind and patient with me. I thank you very much for it."
"Open yours, Jimmy." Rarity said.
Jimmy tore open the manilla envelope to reveal...
Jimmy was speechless.
"I picked this lion creature because of how brave you were getting on that ledge for me. I chose battle scars because you fought through a dark period in your life and survived. The ornamental headpiece shows that you are my hero."
Jimmy was stunned as the words ran through his head.
... you are my hero.
Jimmy felt a sensation he hadn't felt in years. The sudden emotion dropped him to his knees as a crying jag began.
... you are my hero.
The tears and sobs flowed freely as the ladies hugged Jimmy. He wasn't sad at all, though.
... you are my hero.
He was happy. For the first time in a long time, he loved himself. And why?
I barely know this girl. And I'm her hero.
He had made a difference in someone's life, and it felt great. He was hooked on this feeling, and he never wanted it to go away.
AUTHOR'S NOTE, PART II: With the permission of the lovely CrystalClearPain, I expanded the story I wrote her for Christmas into a full fledged story for the Equestrian's Guide. I hope you all enjoy it.
The image of Rarity comes from kristaia on deviantart. Leave her a comment and tell her how lovely it is.
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Beautiful! Sir, you just made my day!
5361730
Thank you. I sincerely think this chapter is the best thing I have ever written. It came straight from the heart. Please pass your kind words onto Crystal as well. My muse needs to know how loved she is.
I always love sweet ending's. Thank you for making me all warm and fuzzy.
Heres a little treat.
scontent-b-ord.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpa1/v/t1.0-9/10850239_910078309003741_6723580006221370011_n.png?oh=f53078ae32937da8916ff905ed4d42f8&oe=5515851E
5365954
Thank you. Like I said below, it came from the heart. I truly think that it's the best thing I have ever written.
The ending was kind of inspired by not only what Ana made me, but also the ending of About Schmidt. Jimmy's reaction to being called her hero was mine.
Sixth time reading this. SO MANY AMAZING FEELZ!!!!
5367958
I'm glad you like it.
5368445
I can relate to this.
5300990
...
AWSHUM
what happened? :(
A really well developed, and well written story!
I so do wish you would continue working on this one... It seriously is a great work my friend.