Chapter 21- Poison Joke and Sleepovers
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Connor walks over to the middle of a black room, before looking at the audience. “Due to technical difficulties, chapters that would have originally been one episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic each, have now been combined. For example, the chapter you are about to read includes the episode ‘Look Before You Sleep’ along with ‘Bridle Gossip’. We are aware that this involves longer chapters being posted. We apologize for any problems this has caused, and will try to fix this problem as soon as we can.” The screen fades to black.
And now, back to your regularly scheduled program
As I was helping ponies pick up branches for the big storm later today, I was watching as Rarity and AJ’s argument intensified. Unfortunately, I was close enough that Rarity brought me into the argument. “Connor, what do you think? Is it important for a tree to look good?”
“No! It’s important to just take the broken branches down! Don’t you agree Connor?” AJ said. I just sighed, before responding.
“Considering the circumstances, it would be more important for the branches to be taken down so no one is harmed. Although I do respect Rarity’s ability to use He-man’s weird magic that allowed him to fix a broken chain.” The ponies looked at me, confused. “You wouldn’t understand, it’s an 80s thing. G1 would probably understand.” I said that last part under my breath.
After I finished talking, it started raining. While Rarity was freaking out about the rain, and complaining about the mud, I just pulled an umbrella out of the… something.... and held it above Rarity. “There, no rain. Happy now Rarity?”
Before Rarity could speak, lightning came down, and struck the umbrella, sending the electrical current straight into me. After watching the electricity start sparking across my electric resistant body, Twilight called us into her house. ‘That didn’t take as long as it did in the show.’
After entering her house, and AJ went to wash her hooves, I had to deal with the excess electricity sparking across my body. I put both my hands against the ground, before channeling the electricity into the ground. When I was done, I heard Twilight freak out about Rarity, AJ and I being in a slumber party.
“Nah, I’m good. I can just walk home. Lightning is no problem.” I walk over to the door, and open it, noticing that the world just went to Hell. Literally. There’s fire everywhere. “Still better than Twilight’s slumber party.” I said before jumping into the pits of Hell.
A second later found me teleported back into Twilight’s house. “Nope!” I said before running out the door again, only to be teleported by another Hell pit back into Twilight’s house. I sat down, before sighing. “Guess I’m stuck here.”
Twilight showed me her slumber party guide, which I quickly read before returning it back to her. ‘This is going to suck.’
A few minutes later found me watching from a distance (on top of the bookshelves) as Rarity and Twilight put that weird stuff on their faces. AJ came in, hooves cleaned, and noticed this. Rarity decided to correct AJ. “Silly. This is called a mud mask. It’s to refresh and rejuvenate your complexion.”
“We’re giving each other makeovers!” Twilight said enthusiastically. “We have to do it. It says so in the book.” Twilight levitated the book over to AJ.
“There are so many things wrong with what just happened within the last minute. One; mud masks sound stupid. Two; Twilight, it’s just a sleepover, you don’t have to fangirl squeal over it. Three; we don’t have to do it. Just because it’s in a book, doesn’t mean I’m going to participate.” I said from my safe location on top of a book shelf.
A few more minutes later, AJ was gorging on some cucumbers, and Rarity was trying to convince me to use a mud mask. “No Rarity.”
“But Connor.” Rarity said in a whining (not complaining) tone.
“No.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes.”
“Are you sure you’re sure?”
“Yes.” I quickly rolled off the bookshelf, to avoid Rarity throwing a blob of that stuff on me. “Make no mistake Rarity, next time something like that egg incident happens, I will not hesitate to hurt any of you.” I noticed a purple aura around my arm, as it got removed, by Twilight’s magic.
Rarity tried to throw another ball of mud at me, which I skillfully dodged, before running over to Twilight, flipping her onto her back, and grabbing one of her legs. “Try that one more time, and I will break your hoof.”
I got off of her, grabbed my arm back, and reattached it. “Cool thing about all the times my arm’s been removed, CGR takes place, allowing me to slowly become less bothered that someone removed my arm. So, removing my arm, not really a weakness anymore.” I dodged another mud ball.
Later, when the ponies were… I don’t even know. But at this point, my hiding spot on top of the bookshelf had 50 different wards on it that not even Celestia could break. Once Twilight got those roller thingys out of the others manes, Twilight mentioned scary stories, which I immediately joined in on.
I waited until Twilight’s boring scary story was over. Once I got the all clear, I began my scary story. I got up, walking slowly around in circles around the others. “Some people say it’s the quiet ones you should look out for. What I’m about to tell you is completely true, and is an event I’ve lived through before.” I had the ponies attention. “On what seemed to be an ordinary day, disaster struck Ponyville, in the form of a god of disaster. While Twilight tried to find the elements of harmony, which were hidden, she sent Spike, Pinkie Pie, and Rainbow Dash out to ask Fluttershy if she knew where the elements of harmony were.”
“They walked up to Fluttershy’s shed, and entered, forgetting the warning Fluttershy told them in the past.” I changed my voice to match what Fluttershy’s was. “Stay out of my shed.” I changed my voice back to normal. “So, Spike, Rainbow, and Pinkie all entered the shed, and before they’re very eyes, was the mounted skeletons of several woodland creatures.” Lightning flashed, allowing me to quickly use some of my powers to make the inside of the library look like Fluttershy’s shed.
When the ponies saw this, they all gasped, as I continued. “After looking around the shed, noticing that Derpy was turned into a decorative toaster cozy, they heard a voice reverberate throughout the shed.” Another voice change. “Hey hey hey. What did I tell ya about coming in my shed!” Lightning flashed again, giving me the form of Fluttershy holding a chainsaw, in the doorway. I snapped my fingers, before speaking in Fluttershy’s voice again. “Take it away, fellas.” The skeletons on the walls began making the music, as I began doing my part.
“I’m gonna sing a song for you!” I pointed to the middle of the trio of ponies, as a chair popped up, holding a captive Rainbow Dash. “And I’m gonna show you a thing or two!” I was suddenly behind Rainbow. “So have a seat my dear, and if it’s all the same, just sit back, and relax…” I pulled Rainbow’s seat back, before morphing my face. “While I eat your brains!” The skeletons started singing. “Brai...Brai...Brains!” I start cutting Rainbow Dash in half, while she screams in pain.
When the light turned back on, turning everything back to normal, I looked at the ponies huddled together, paralyzed in fear. I also noticed that each one of them wet themselves, producing a massive puddle of urine underneath them. “So, what did you think?” I said with a smile.
It took ten minutes before the ponies started speaking again, and 3 more minutes before they let go of each other, also noticing the urine on the ground, which Rarity freaked out about. After everyone was cleaned up, we immediately moved onto s’mores, not mentioning my scary story.
While Rarity was teaching Twilight how to make a s’more, and AJ was cooking some marshmallows, I was just grabbing the ingredients, setting fire to the marshmallows, before dropping them in my mouth, making the s’mores in my mouth, before swallowing.
Twilight checked off s’mores and mentioned truth or dare. I just stood back from Rarity and AJ, as they started to dare each other to do things. Twilight read the rules of the game, not understanding why they were fighting. As AJ dared Rarity to get her mane wet, I just decided to go with the flow for this activity. “Ooooo.” I said in a daring tone.
We watched as Rarity went outside, got herself wet, and came back inside, shivering. When Rarity dared AJ to play dress up, I watched as she pulled a dress out from somewhere. As AJ and Rarity’s arguments intensified, I sat down next to Twilight, who still didn’t understand what was happening.
When Twilight mentioned pillow fight, my face instantly had a smile on it, as I grabbed a pillow, preparing to use the years of training I had in order to use a pillow properly. Once the pillows started flying, I walked into the middle of AJ and Rarity’s battlefield, still holding the pillow I picked up. “You want a pillow fight? Then prepare for the pillow fight of your lives.” To emphasize my point, I pulled backwards on my pillow, and it made a sound similar to a shotgun.
30 minutes, and lots of screams of pain (particularly Twilight’s because of how she’s treated me) later, the ponies went upstairs to sleep, as I just slept on top of a bookshelf. Twilight asked me about that though. “Connor? Are you sure you don’t want to sleep on one of the bed’s upstairs?”
“Nah, I’m good. I’ve liked being in weird positions, on top of furniture. My parents used to refer to me as gargoyle due to my preference to sit like a gargoyle on the arm rests, instead of the seats of a couch.” I looked down, trying to hold back the tears at the thought of never being able to see my parents again.
Twilight took that as the moment where she awkwardly backs away from the room, as I leaned back, going into my thoughts, before putting myself in stand-by mode.
Emergency! Emergency!
Scans report a tree is right next to User. Multiple cuts have appeared across User’s body. Due to electrical occurrences outside, a fire hazard is present. Scans also report three living organisms, classified as ponies, to be on the upper level. Scans report (one) earth pony, and (two) unicorns. The earth pony is talking to the white unicorn, who appears to be picking small things up. The lavender unicorn is panicking, reading a book franticly. What are User’s orders?
>Stay_In_Stand_By_Mode
Activate_regeneration_+50%
Activate_shield_+5%
Activate_fire_shield_+8%
Continue_Twilight_Sparkle_Detection_and_Defense_System_+100%
Orders received. Continuing Stand-by mode.
A few hours later, I exit stand-by mode, noticing a small amount of… whatever those mud masks were made of, on my energy shield. ‘So they decided to try and put that mud mask stuff on me while I was on stand-by?’ I jump off of the bookshelf, wiping the mud off my face, before setting my systems back to normal.
I left the library, noticing that it was finally day, and I walked back to my house.
A few days after the slumber party, I was walking through Ponyville, noticing how there were no ponies. A quick scan told me that they were hiding in their houses, so I figured that Zecora was in town, and that ‘Bridle Gossip’ was now taking place. I decided to go say hi to Zecora, due to the fact that I haven’t seen her since the fight with God in Canterlot.
After running for about half a minute, I found Zecora, and ran up to her. Also, a quick scan to my right, showed me that the mane six was hiding in Sugarcube Corner, watching me. Ignoring them, I spoke up. “Hey Zecora.”
Zecora looked at me, the small amount of sadness on her face disappearing. “Ah, Connor, my good friend. What do I owe this time that we spend?”
“I just noticed you’re were in Ponyville, so I decided to say hi, and say thanks for the advice you gave me on how to battle God.”
“It was no problem, my friend of cosmic. To not do so would have been catastrophic.” Suddenly, I remembered an important fact.
“If I remember correctly, it’s currently that month where the amount of manticores in the Everfree is dramatically increased. Would you like some company on the way back to your hut? I would hate to see you get hurt from being surrounded by manticores.” I know she can take on maybe two manticores at once, but this month, finding 3 manticores at once is extremely lucky. Normally you would find 8 maybe 9 manticores around this time.
“As it does seem like my time here is cut short. I would love company, so that Death I do not court.” I start to follow Zecora back to her hut in the Everfree, also noticing that Applebloom is following us. After making it past the poison joke, I noticed the others have arrived, and I’m suddenly tackled by Rainbow into the poison joke.
“Don’t worry Connor, we’ll get rid of the mind control on you!” Rainbow then started slapping me across the face. I eventually caught her hoof, before speaking.
“I’m not under Zecora’s spell. Zecora doesn’t even have the magic to do that.” I push Rainbow off, before standing up, and sighing when I saw the poison joke I was standing in. ‘While I haven’t been affected by poison joke before, knowing my luck, I’ll be in extreme pain.’
“Whew, I’m glad I saved you then Connor.” Rainbow said, not understanding what I was saying. She then starts pushing me back to the group. I just gave Zecora a look that told her to continue on to her hut.
After we went back to Ponyville, I noticed it was getting late, so I walked back to my house, and activated stand-by mode once I was at my bed.
Emergency! Emergency!
Unknown poison going through User. Bodily changes occurring. What are User’s orders?
>Initiate_Wake_Up
Orders received. Wake-up initiated.
I open my eyes, to notice it was still dark out. I felt a sharp pain go through my body, so I quickly rolled off my bed, landing on my hands and knees. I was about to try and stand up, when a sharp pain went through my legs, as I watched them shorten, and slowly change into pony legs. I watched my arms go through a similar situation, even my metal arm turned into a pony version of it.
While my body was changing, I used my powers to remove my clothes so they wouldn’t tear. After removing my undershirt, I noticed my wings were getting smaller, and I felt a sharp pain on my head.
My head quickly changed into an equine shape, a horn, longer than Celestia’s protruded out of my skull. I watched as my body got covered in cosmic purple fur, and my hair lengthened, changed color to a bright golden color, and developed the same wavy thing that Celestia’s and Luna’s manes do.
After I was 100% pony, one final change occurred, counteracting one of my powers. I noticed, not with fear, or really any emotion, as I gained my original gender, and then changed gender.
When the transformation was complete, I just walked over to my mirror, to look at how I changed. I just sighed when I saw what I changed into.
“I don’t want to talk about it.” Flutterguy said, causing everyone to flinch at Fluttershy’s new voice, but Spike was just laughing.
“Hey, where’s Connor?” Twilight Sparkle asked.
“I don’t know. You think he was cursed as well?” Rainbow Dash pointed out.
“He was with us when we confronted Zecora.” Rarity mentioned.
“And he was with Zecora longer than the rest of us. Maybe something really bad happened to him.” Applejack suggested.
“Actually, I’m right here.” A feminine voice spoke out, as another pony walked into the library. The pony was an inch or two higher than Princess Celestia, had a coat of cosmic purple fur, a flowing golden mane and tail, and two bright golden wings. One of the most peculiar things about this pony though, was that her right foreleg looked like it was cut off, and replaced with a metal leg. While the ponies in the library at first didn’t believe that this alicorn in front of them was their friend Connor, but one look at her eyes, which were the same electric yellow color, filled with the courage, but also the fear and defiance, that Connor has.
“Connor, is that really you? Twilight asked, having trouble believing.
“Yes, it’s me. And yes, I’m an alicorn.” Connor stated.
“You don’t seem like you really care that you’re a different race now Connor. Or even a different gender.” Twilight pointed out.
“I’m actually still a Cosmic Being, and I don’t really care about gender.” Connor replied. Spike was currently on the floor laughing uncontrollably.
“This is hilarious! Look at all of you! We got: Hairity, Rainbow Crash, Spitty Pie, Apple Teeny, Flutterguy, the Cosmic Queen…” Connor growled a bit at that. “and... uh... I got nothin'... Twilight Sparkle. I mean seriously, I can't even work with that.”
“Oh yes, that’s right! You would be considered the Cosmic Queen!” Rarity pointed out.
“Wait, do you even know how to use your horn?” Twilight asked.
Connor nodded, before expertly using her horn. “It’s not much different than when I’m in my human form, except magic can only channel through the horn. Although I can still use Cosmic Energy.” Connor lifted her hoof, before using her energy to move some of the books around.
Eventually, after a while of following Applejack and Appleblooms trail, they got to Zecora’s hut. “Connor, what do you think we should do?” Twilight asked, after looking into Zecora’s window.
“Easy, this.” Connor walked up to the door, ignoring the other ponies complaints, before entering. “Hey Zecora, do you have that cure for poison joke? I’m kinda affected by it.” Before Zecora could say anything, Rainbow Dash flew in, destroying everything.
After the realization period, where the ponies realized they were wrong, being racist to Zecora, and headed back to Ponyville, getting the ingredients, and putting them in the baths in the spa, where the ‘cursed’ ponies entered the water, getting rid of the effects.
Connor just jumped in, disappearing underwater, before reappearing above it as a human again. Although Connor had to quickly switch her gender back to ‘not-gendered’ because not only was she still female, but she was also naked. The problem was quickly remedied by opening up Connor’s storage dimension, and putting on another pair of clothes.
While Twilight was writing her letter, Rarity was speaking with Connor. “So, Connor, what was it like changing genders?”
Connor shrugged. “I honestly don’t care what gender I am. Although I do prefer to refer to myself as my original gender.” Connor changed his gender several times while speaking, to emphasize his point.
“Although I do think you made quite a beautiful princess.” Rarity said, fantasizing.
“Queen actually. Celestia and Luna are princesses. But even as a pony of the opposite gender, I’d still be ‘the Cosmic Queen.’ Plus alicorns are supposed to be almost the embodiment of their gender. A female alicorn is supposed to be beautiful, a male alicorn is supposed to be handsome.” Connor said with another shrug.
“I would like to see what you look like as a male alicorn.” Rarity said, in a tone that said that she wanted Connor to change species now.
“Sorry Rarity. I checked. Due to the rules of this universe, I can’t turn into a male alicorn. It doesn’t make much sense, but I can’t exactly break the rules I uphold. I think it’s because this universe is mostly mare populated. In a universe where everyone is gender flipped, I’d probably become a male alicorn. Then again, I’d probably be a female normally in a universe like that.” Connor said, crushing Rarity’s hopes and dreams.
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5752118 I already did have an idea for a chapter where Connor is turned into an alicorn again, and has to go to Canterlot. But I was planning on him still being female, because I think Blueblood's reaction would be sillier, than Celestia and Luna seeing a male alicorn
Hey hey hey stay out of my shed
Twilight love using peoples weaknesses