Chapter 1 - The Call
Once, long ago, the four nations of ponykind were wracked by an endless war. Driven by ancient grudges, they fought for supremacy over one another and the lands of Equus. Hunger and strife ran rampant, suffering driven by conflict was rife, and only when all teetered on the edge of destruction were they shaken from their war. Their hooves forced by the dark magic of the Windigos, the four tribes came together in a conference to find a way to save everything they knew.
It would only be through the arcane knowledge of the unicorns and the mystical insight of the crystal ponies that a solution was found. The four tribes would pour their power into a single pony, to summon a champion that could drive away the Windigos and save their lands. And through their combined magic, The First Avatar, Sol Celestia, was born. But with her creation, she stole the power to raise the Sun and the Moon from the unicorns, forever guaranteeing that the sun would rise and set with equality for all. With her gracious heart and kindness she brought the four great nations to peace for the first time in generations and founded the Nations of Equestria.
Over the years more would follow in her hoofsteps, continuing to guide the four nations toward a bright and proseperous future. Whenever war and destruction threatened, an exemplar of ponykind would arise to preserve the peace. Many of them would perish in their task, but two would survive to join Celestia in her rule over the tribes. Artemis Luna, the Avatar of War, and Mi Amore Cadenza, the Avatar of Love.
Today The Kingdom of Unicornia, The Republic of Pegasopolis, The Bittanian Empire, and The Crystal Heart Commonwealth live together in harmony under the watchful eye of the Avatars. But peace is a fragile thing. And as technology and knowledge continue to march ever onward to the future, the old ways find themselves threatened by the new, and once again Equestria is threatened by war, discord, strife, and chaos.
And it is in this fragile moment where our story opens. In the Kingdom of Unicornia, in a place called Bulliontown, where the next legend of Equestria is about to begin…
The weak rays of daylight hit her eyes and reflexively she threw the blanket back over her face. “Goway,” she muttered and tried to burrow down into the covers away from the evil daystar that threatened to upset her lovely dreams. Unfortunately, the stubborn light only got brighter with each passing moment and eventually she was forced from her nice and warm cocoon of blankets to face the day.
In the darkness of her covers, it was easy to imagine the pealing of school bells in the background. The bustling sounds of students off to class, laughing and chattering with one another about the academics of the day. She would be sixteen very, very soon and that was often the oldest the major academies would accept new students. A year later, and there would be perilous few chances for her to escape from this place.
She glanced at the window and stood to stretch out her stiff muscles. The bed was wonderful, of course, but that didn’t mean she was sleeping well. In truth, she hadn’t slept ‘well’ since Shining Armor had given in to mother’s demands and joined the Alabaster Knights. She’d been holding out hope that once Shiny had gone to Canterlot to pursue a commission in the Royal Guard that he might be able to help her get there too.
A glance to one side in her mirror told her that her mane was an absolute mess. Had she been tossing and turning again? Trapped in vague dreams that nopony would entertain listening to beyond a chortle and a pat on the head. Everypony knew Avatar Luna guarded the dreams of all good little fillies and colts, which meant only bad fillies and colts got nightmares. Absurd, of course, but such were the sort of things one attributed to the powers of the Avatars.
So she sighed, and grabbed her comb. It was hard not to think of what she ought to be learning right now, even as she absentmindedly brushed out her mane. Even so, she still had a plan. A bold plan no less, crazy enough to just possibly work if her formulae was right. Trailblazing new paths in magical theory and invention was dangerous of course, but it was not more dangerous than being bored to tears here as she was forced to learn the ins and outs of Unicornia society.
Fortunately, she was able to get her mane under some semblance of control and in a reasonable amount of time to boot. Good thing too, since her mother chose that precise moment to burst in with an absurdly cheerful sounding, “Good morning, sweetie!” Before whipping the last of the sheets off her bed and leaving the poor put-upon unicorn to glare helplessly at her morning-pony of a mother. “Stayed up too late reading again, did we?” Mom asked her with a knowing smile and a mischievous twinkle in her eye.
For a moment, Twilight Vivid Sunriser Sparkle, (Twilight to anyone who didn’t wish to earn her ire), considered hitting her mother with a pillow or some other soft, but firm, object. Only for the moment it took her to squash that particular thought, though. The last thing she needed was to let her temper off the leash. “Probably.” She responded in a quietly contrite voice. It was far easier to admit she’d made a mistake than to listen through yet another lecture on the importance of a proper bedtime for a Mare-Of-Her-Stature. Especially not this morning, when she had better things to be doing than listening to said lecture for the seventy-ninth time.
Her mother pursed her lips and planted her hooves on her hips, giving her a very parental glare before sighing heavily. “Twilight, I’m simply looking out for your health. You spend far too much time cooped up in the study until all hours of the evening, it’s not good for you!” She trotted over to the bed, and not for the first time Twilight wished she was better at explaining things to her mother.
Alas, she remained incapable of explaining to her regal and elegant mother anything that she did not wish to hear. “I apologize mother, I shall work harder to remember that.” It was a good standard answer, and on most mornings it would be enough to keep her mother form suggesting anything too rash. Then she took a deep breath. “Mother, why haven’t I been assigned to a magic school yet? I am to be sixteen soon. I ought to have been assigned to one a year ago.” That was, perhaps, pushing it a bit. But… But she had to try. Today of all days, she had to try.
That produced a moment of silence, and a sigh. Her mother looked sad and perhaps just a trifle uncomfortable for a moment, a rarity given her usual composure. Still, she set her mouth in a firm line and continued.“Twilight… I know your heart is set upon pursuing academic magic, but it is simply not possible. You’ve far too much yet to learn about managing our lands and we cannot waste time with such a plebeian pursuit.” She shook her head firmly. “We’re to be taking our tour next month, and you will have to be by my side. You’re finally ready to be introduced to the barons and other minor lords on their own turf, and you’ll need to understand how to keep them in line.” Her smile was broad and soft. “Perhaps when we return, we can arrange for a tutor to be brought here. Somepony prestigious to help develop your abilities in a practical direction.”
Twilight hesitated, but pressed on. “Mother, at the least allow me to submit an application to the Academy for Gifted Ponies! There is a great deal of prestige in such an acceptance, and I could learn many things about governance from the teachers there!” It was a desperate bid, true. The absolute last thing she wanted to learn was more boring lessons in governance, but if it would get her to Canterlot she was prepared to make compromises.
“No, Twilight. And that is final.” Mother put her hoof down firmly, and then paused… a sly smile crossed her face. “If you truly wish to learn away from home, perhaps I ought to send you to stay with Aunt Eleonore and cousin Octavia in Platinum City. It would do you some good to absorb a little culture.” Twilight could feel her stomach plummet into the bottom of all four hooves as Mother tossed her mane and her grin grew in size. “It may be perfectly acceptable to emulate the great Clover, dear, but even she knew about more than merely academic magics.”
“N-n-no! I’ll be fine, I swear!” Panic set in quickly, as it always did when Mother threatened such things. Cousin Octavia was a lovely mare, but Aunt Eleonore was a legendary terror of politeness and proper behavior. She needed a mollification and fast before she decided to take that threat more seriously. “I… I’ll attend the Hearth’s Lighting ball tonight! I’ll even have a good time! I swear!” The instant she’d said it, she regretted it. The ball would be a bore of epic proportions no matter how she sliced it, but… But it was better than the prospect of being sent away from home.
Mother, ever the sly one, cocked her head with a little smile. “You’ll sing too, of course.” That was a statement, not a request, and Twilight could only nod dumbly. “And you’ll have an escort for the evening, who you will share at least three dances with.” Oh, joy. Spending the night with some vacuous stallion she’d be expected to fawn over? The evening couldn’t possible get any- “And you will sit through dinner, and keep your brother from sneaking away before we’ve had a chance to introduce him to somepony nice.”
Twilight, for just a moment, contemplated telling her mother precisely what she thought of that plan. But only for a moment. She sighed. “Yes, mother.” That produced a sunny, bright grin on her Mother’s face and a little prance in place too. She was going to have a difficult time explaining this to Shiny.
Fortunately, that was future Twilight’s problem. “Good girl,” mother cooed, then patted her on the head. “Now hurry up and get bathed and dressed. You’ve got quite a lot on your schedule today.” Then she was gone in a flounce of mane and tail, and the whisk of her skirts against the hardwood floors.
Twilight glanced back at her tangle of sheets, blankets and pillows upon her soft bed. She could very well climb right back into the cozy nest and try to ignore today with every bit of willpower she could muster, but the odds were very good that if she did she’d end up regretting it. So she sighed, rubbed at her mussed up mane and hauled her flank out of bed. If she was going to face the day, it would be best to face it with a cup of coffee.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Her brother was already gone by the time she came downstairs, his messy plate and half drunk glass of orange juice a testament to his passing. He had also forgotten his knapsack, again, and she already knew who’d be taking it to him later today. “Morning, Twi.” Dad muttered from around his pipe, the rustling of The Unicornia Times a familiar sound over the hustle and bustle of morning in the Twilight household.
“Morning, Dad. Morning, Prudence.” First father, then the chief maid, Prudence, who smiled with dimples at her as she slid into her seat at the breakfast table. Food followed shortly thereafter: Oatmeal, toast, juice, good marmalade, almost like clockwork. (Well, except some mornings Prudence would make pancakes…) Father left soon after her arrival, kissing her on the cheek as he trotted to the door and his own daily routine.
Mother was fussing about the place, but Twilight paid her no mind as she spooned a little honey over her cereal and began to eat in earnest. It was easy to ignore the passing servants and workers, the paid staff and so on. Just noise going to work on preparations for the ball she was now obliged to attend, which was annoying. Not nearly as annoying as some things, but annoying just the same.
Mother was ecstatic though. “Oh, Twilight! Look at these lovely curtains. Fresh Neighpon silk! And we’ll have to talk that young daughter of Lily Belle’s into stitching you something up on the quick, she’s quite the dressmaker you know!” The words rolled off her back like so much rain, the sweet cereal more than enough to distract her from this nonsense. The last thing she needed to be bothered with tonight was some silly dancing ball, but… No, The last thing I need is moons upon moons of music lessons with Aunty Eleonore. Dancing will be a pleasure in comparison to that.
So she swallowed her breakfast and let Mother’s cheerful chatter pour over the room like spring rain. In all truthfulness, she really didn’t resent mother her passions. She just… didn’t share them, which made her one of the few mares in the family that didn’t. She would have much rather spent the night enjoying the Midas Library when it would be quiet and mostly empty rather than bore herself to death with the endless rounds of socialite power jockeying and dealing with the endless waves of worthless suitors trying to get into her sheets.
Fortunately, mother quickly found some minor disaster she needed to attend to personally and left Twilight alone in the dining room with the bustling servants. Once gone, she slumped back into the chair and rubbed her eyes. Some days, she wondered why mother was so insistent that she needed to be some kind of vapid social climber. There was no shame whatsoever in advancing the cause of Magic and Science for the betterment of the kingdom, and that was what she was suited for. Not this… frippery.
Still, mother did have a point. She probably had been spending a few too many hours in the library for her own health, even if it was far more enjoyable than other activities. Focus, Twilight. Today will not be so bad. You’ll have at least a little fun with the project! Yes, best to focus on that instead of the ball tonight. Best to slip out quickly too, before Mother decided getting ready for the ball was more important than her homework for just one night.
The front gate guard tipped his iron cap to her as she passed, her brother’s knapsack and her own saddlebags slung over her shoulder. The sun burst into view and nearly blinded her for a moment before the light settled down over the rolling hills of Unicornia. Her estate quickly began to sink into the distance as she ran through fields past the dusty and sweaty fieldhooves. Several of them glanced up at her as she passed, then quickly lowered their eyes back to their work. Sometimes, she wished they would smile, but...
No, today was not the day to focus on that little problem. Today she had one singular problem on her plate, and she was going to solve it, by thunder. She was going to solve it, and it was going to change everything around here, and of course the world was not going to make it easy to focus on that problem. Since just as she cleared the fields, a familiar and regal voice cut through the air outside of town. “Support our gracious workers! Sign the petition for fairer indenture laws!”
Surprisingly, she’d actually gotten a crowd today. Perhaps it was the fact that her violet mane was absolutely gorgeous this morning, carefully coiffed and shimmering in the early morning sun. An elegant day-dress flowed across her shoulders and down her flank quite fetchingly as she brandished carefully printed broadsheets at anypony who would look at one. “We can reduce the costs of hiring indentures with but a few small changes to the contract laws, while also improving their lot in life!” She tossed her mane defiantly, brandishing the broadsheet at a sumptuously dressed stallion who eyed the sheet curiously. The mare stamped her hoof, her voice ringing with conviction. “We’ve a duty to our lessers to treat them with dignity and respect for all the work they do for us!”
The crowd muttered in conversation with each other as no few of them picked up the sheets to examine in detail, and those unshakable sapphire eyes fixed upon Twilight joyfully. The crowd was already beginning to disperse, and so Twilight braced herself before trotting towards her sometimes-friend. “Afternoon, Dame Rarity Belle.” She dipped her head to the mare but did not bow. One did not fail to flout rank in public if one wished to keep the gossips away.
Rarity, of course, didn’t give one hoot about the gossips. “Twilight, darling!” She gushed, throwing her hooves around her neck and squeezing in a warm and friendly hug. “So lovely to see you today, dear. My new campaign is having unprecedented success!” She beamed, as proud as a unicorn colt after his first levitation. “I knew all I had to do was appeal to their wallets. Tell them they can save a few thousand bits, and they’ll do anything you say.” Her eyes sparkled wickedly, and Twilight had to admire her stubborn determination. She did wonder precisely what sort of changes she was proposing though…
“I hope it works out for you.” She smiled tentatively, trying to keep from feeling overly nervous. Mother didn’t much approve of Rarity’s ‘plebian obsessions’, but Twilight was not about to forsake her. She actually had a brain in her head and knew how to use it, unlike many of the other mares in town. The few others like her were similarly precious to her, even if she often hesitated to call them friend. Though upon honest reflection… “Rarity, are we… friends?” It felt a bit thick to say it like that, but Twilight truly did not know how else to put it.
Rarity Belle just smiled brightly at her. “Why… of course, darling! You might be a bit stiff sometimes, but you’ve a good heart in your chest.” She pressed a hoof into her chest with a small smile. “Will you be attending the ball this evening? Mother has been most insistent that I attend.” She rolled her eyes, but you couldn’t miss her smile. “Thinks it will cure me of my nonsense. Ha!”
Twilight chuckled a little at that. She was reasonably certain the royal alchemist couldn’t cure Rarity of her nonsense. “Yes, mother bullied me into it.” It hurt a little to portray it like that, but thats really what’d happened. Right? “I fear I’m going to have to keep my brother present and stand some stupid escort too.” That made her wince. Shiny wasn’t going to be happy that he couldn’t sneak off early tonight.
Rarity’s eyes widened. “Oh, my! Well, I shall endeavour to at the very least keep you from going quite mad at the proceedings.” She leaned in to give her a smaller but no less passionate hug. “I fear I must be off though. I can only give the cause so much of my time on a holiday, lest mother dear get huffy at me.” She winked, quickly flouncing off through town with the eye of every stallion in town upon her.
Twilight was certain that she didn’t notice. She was equally certain that she was going to be unable to finish her project if she kept standing about like a lemon.
~~~~~~~~~~
The tiny crystalline cylinder sat innocuously on the work table, wrapped with copper wires and surrounded by a complex ritual circle. “Okay.” Twilight breathed out, rubbing her hooves together nervously. “Okay… this is going to work. It has to work.” It had to work because the tiny device before her was likely her last shot at this project. Getting a hold of true Crystal Commonwealth gems was hard enough here, but getting them at this level of purity without official support was nigh-on impossible for someone of limited finances.
But she wasn’t going to fail here. This was her ticket out of Bulliontown, the result of all of those late nights buried in books at the library. Should all of her theories be correct, this would be enough to get her a shot at Princess Celestia’s School for Gifted Ponies and she could finally leave the social climbers and foppish fools of this place behind her. But that meant she had to succeed on this try. So everything had to be absolutely perfect.
The copper wiring was properly hooked up to the generator coil, of course. The ritual circle was very precise, as it ought to be. The cylinder had been measured and re-measured to the point of absurdity. She was ready, of course, but that didn’t mean she felt ready. Not that it mattered, she was damned near out of time. Mother would come looking for her soon to priss her up for the ball, so…
She took a deep breath, glancing around the spare wooden room. A shack on the edge of town, built to store tools for a field that had been left fallow this year. A pile of ad-hoc equipment bought with her monthly allowance. What in the name of the Avatar’s was she doing? She was going to get herself blown up if she wasn’t careful, and she was absolutely not being careful! In fact, this was the opposite of careful!
But the only other option was to wait until mother finally wore her down and convinced her to marry some simpering buffoon of a mare or stallion so she could take up her role as the family heir with all seriousness. That… that she could not allow to happen. So she resolutely turned back to the table and focused. It had always been easy to drawn upon her magic, but today she was on the top of her game. The power flared through the tip of her horn and she focused it into the circle, slowly building up the charge.
A fast glance up told her the glow was increasing at the proper rate, then she shut her eyes again and focused on the magic. She couldn’t watch the cylinder. If it blew up, it blew up. She didn’t want memories of watching all of her hopes and dreams for the future exploding before her very eyes. At least if she wasn’t watching it, she could presume something had gone wrong that had nothing to do with-
. . . . ….
Twilight shook her head as the world slowly swam back into view. What had happened? The world was shaking and slowly rocking back and forth like she’d just made herself dizzy. Had the experiment failed? Was she doomed? But there were no burns on her body, nor signs of destruction. Just an intense, pulsing blue glow above her head. A glow. Blue. Pulsing. Twilight scrambled to her hooves to peek over the edge of the table, not even daring to dream that she might have succeeded… but there it was.
The light swirled in tight little loops within the crystal, and though the copper wire looked like it had bonded to the gem it was otherwise unharmed. The magic circle had been seared out of existence, which was a little disappointing but-
Then it hit her, all at once. “I did it.” She whispered, unable to keep the thrill out of her voice. “I did it! I Did IT! I! DID! IT!” Her voice rose to a triumphant yell and she began to bounce around the table, unable to restrain any enthusiasm. “Take that, Hollandaise! Eat science, Glittersphere! Taste my mighty horn, Sparkle Shine!” She pumped her hooves in celebration, dancing and prancing about like a little filly on Nightmare Night.
Eventually though, her energy wore thin and she slumped into the chair to stare in fascination at her little miracle. Impossible, they’d said. Ha! Nothing is impossible with the power of knowledge on your side. Difficult, surely. She was reasonably certain that she’d passed out from energy expenditure there. That had to be what’d happened, but at least she hadn’t suffered any burnout… that she could feel. Whatever. No piercing pain in her horn meant no permanent damage.
Carefully - oh so very carefully - she lifted the glowing cylinder and placed it in the prepared case along with the rest of her notes. Once closed and sealed with a brief touch of magic, she carried it outside in her teeth. The sun had already begun to slowly sink towards the horizon, which meant. “Oh, bollockth.” She grumbled around the case, wishing she dared shake her head. The bloody mail might’ve already gone out…
Well, nothing for it but to hope. Still, she couldn’t exactly run… there was no telling how stable her little invention was. And if it hadn’t been for this stupid ball- “Twily!” She reared up in surprise as the huge white stallion appeared out of absolutely nowhere. Yes. That was the ticket, it wasn’t because she’d been completely ignoring what was right in front of her nose.. “There you are. And there’s my knapsack! Mother’s been quietly losing her mind with worry.” Shining Armor gave her a stern look through the eye-slits of his helmet. “We need to get you home, and fast.”
“Buth-” She tried to speak around the device, and it just came out stupid. Ugh. With the utmost care she set the thing down… and fortunately, Shiny knew better than to jerk anything she was treating with care around. “I need to get this in the post immediately!” It was so much easier to talk when she didn’t have a mouthful of shipping cloth.
Shiny shook his head slowly. “Sorry, Twily. The office already closed for the evening, I just came from there. They were locking up early so they can get to their own parties. Surely it can wait until morning.” He eyeballed the case dubiously, likely remembering the last time she’d tried to ship something. In her defense, she’d been certain that concoction was stable enough to ship! How was she supposed to know it would explode when exposed to a lightning storm?
But none of that mattered. She’d just have to take it in first thing in the morning, but that meant… “Oh, crud.” She half muttered, glaring at the case. She couldn’t risk leaving it in the shed, somepony might stumble on it and steal it! But if she tried to take it into the house, mother would start asking questions about why she was shipping things to Canterlot of all places and what was inside of it and…
“Twily.” Her brother’s voice shook her out of her reverie, and he was smiling tolerantly at her. “I’ll give you some cover to get it into your room. Just promise me it isn’t going to blow up the house again.” She nodded as rapidly as she could, crossing her heart with a hoof before Shining Armor nodded in acceptance. “Alright, let’s get you back to the house.” He turned, and she quickly (but carefully!) picked up the case and trotted alongside him. “So…” He drawled, arching an eyebrow at her. “What’s in it?”
Twilight nearly froze up, but instinct kept her walking. How was she supposed to tell him that she’d just revolutionized the world of industry? Done the impossible? Actually channeled magical energy into a stable physical form that could power non-magical machinery? He’d call her insane, or worse: He’d believe her and be so paranoid about her creation that she’d never see it again.
She had to give him an answer, and then… well, why not the truth? “My application to Celestiaths School.” She half spat out around the case, and Shining Armor turned his head to regard her with wide eyes. “I’m gettin’ out of here, brotherth.” She put on her most determined look, hoping he’d interpret it as stubbornness.
But he was smiling faintly at her. “I’ll make sure it gets the seal of the guard for expedited delivery then.” She stumbled over her hooves in surprise, and Shiny laughed happily as he braced her. “You belong there, Twily. You don’t need to be stuck in this town like I am.” His voice turned wistful and sad. “Maybe someday I’ll even get a chance to follow you there.”
Twilight swallowed behind the case as they continued to walk into the night. You will if I have anything to say about it, big brother. She silently promised him as the estate loomed ahead. Lights and sounds were pouring out of every door and window, and the Hearth’s Lighting Ball awaited her. But as she walked, she felt something odd… like a shadow passing over her. Like she was being watched from somewhere, but… she couldn’t put her hoof on it. Probably mother casting some scrying spell. She mentally sighed, then braced herself as a platoon of maids approached with fancy dress in hoof.
It was going to be a long night, she could already tell.
~~~~~~~~~
“Sister… did you feel that?”
“Yes. I am searching for the source of it now, but I cannot put my hoof upon it. Have things deteriorated so badly already? I had been certain we had more time to set things aright.”
“Aunty, Grandmother! What was that… that pulse!?”
“Trouble, child. Summon our agents to our quarters quickly and gather your armor. We may have very little time to spare.”
“But… the Hearths Lighting Ball is tonight…”
“Child, this is no time for a frivolous dance!”
“Peace, Lulu. It is a facet of her duties to attend these functions, and we need her vital insight as to the intentions of the Roamin ambassadors and the intentions of King Sapphire towards Madame Harvest. If you would simply take this note to our student, she shall handle the rest, dear. And have a good evening.”
“Thank you, aunty. I will be back first thing in the morning to help!”
“Hmph. She won’t be back until noon if I know that lilt in her step.”
“Hush, Lulu. Do you not remember being her age?”
“I do, I spent most of it cleaning up after the mess the Dictator left behind him and the rest convincing the rest of the Pegasopolis Senate that I would crush them if they tried that foolish stunt again.”
“We won’t be taking direct action tonight, Lulu. You ought to get out and enjoy your evening while I find out who this was.”
“Sister… Did you not feel that pulse of power? I have not felt something so strongly since Starswirl. We must act as quickly as we possibly can-”
“Which will not be tonight. Go, Lulu. Enjoy a night of peace and merriment. It may be the last such night we get to enjoy for some time. I shall task our Student to begin the work.”
“..... Very well, Celestia. I shall see you in the morn.”
…….
“... She is gone, my faithful student. Thank you for coming so promptly, and you look lovely in that dress.”
“My pleasure. That shindig was already turning out to be a chore anyway. Where am I going?”
“Bulliontown. Have that young pegasus Captain take you - she doesn’t seem to understand the concept of slow and you shall need all speed if you are to get there in time. Our little troublemaker is already striding into a vipers nest she cannot hope to be ready for, and you must ensure she reaches Canterlot alive and well by whatever means necessary. Here is an image of her, that may make it easier to track her.”
“Of course, teacher. Ah, she’s cute. Do we know her name?”
“By a strange coincidence, we do. She is Twilight Sparkle, a promising young mage I have had on my admittance list to the school for some time and heiress to the County of Bullion. Things could get very complicated if her mother tries to stop us, Twilight Velvet has an iron grip on that realm.”
“There are no coincidences when the powers of Harmony are involved, teacher. And I shall have no issues dealing with any troublesome noble. Don't worry, I'll have her back faster than you think.”
“I can but hope so, Sunset. Go, with all haste. And good luck.”
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Yada yadda yadda, then the fire nation attacked.
This will be fun.
I agree, this does look like fun. I wonder how things will go down?
5281914 Pardon my Prench but I fu*cking love this!! <3 :D
5281914 Pardon my Prench but I bu**ing love this!! <3 :D
5281914 Pardon my Prench but I bu**ing love this!! <3 :D
Sweet, another story to follow the progress of. It's got a solid start so far!
Came because of the obvious reference to A:TLA and stayed for the story. I like it so far, so I'm tracking it.
Sunset Shimmer is in a role of Zuko?
Then everything changed when the fire nation attacked!
This looks promising. Looking forward to the next chapter.
Control Freak Twilight Velvet is Best... I mean Worst Twilight Velvet.
It's intriguing that Celestia doesn't want Luna to know about Twilight.
Well this is a fascinating twist to the Avatar lore. I was at first expecting a slightly altered version squeezed into an Equestrian setting but you've turned the whole concept on it's head.
Though I take we're not going to see bad ass elemental bending? Or are we!?
Are we going to see classic MLP villains pop up or are we getting brand new ones? We've met Rarity and Rainbow is incoming. Curious where Applejack, Pinkie, and Fluttershy is going to appear at.
Keep this one going! It looks fun!
Interesting... I'll have to see where this goes
Yet another story I will follow you for. Good job fine sir.
ok this seems interesting
YAY, Avatar!!
*reads*
Let my point out what I didn't like about it.
No world building, you described that there was technology and whatnot but didn't go as far to give ANY background on what the technology is, what it does, nor was there any description about the world. It was just fluff about Twilight.
What you could have done was explain how the Avatar process works. The other thing that made me go "Wtf?" was that in the show, the previous Avatars died before the next one could be born, but Celestia, Luna, and Cadence are still alive, and by the looks of things they're Avatars too. I have no idea why they're still alive, and I agree with your authors note it's way too soon to be published. You need to flush out more detail and development.
5286103
Uh....
This is chapter 1 of a thirty six chapter story. Of course I haven't told you guys EVERYTHING yet.
In addition, there's a lot of things which aren't explained because the main character either doesn't know about them or considers them so common knowledge as to not delve into them. Some of these explanations come later. Some of them are left unsaid and are expressed through the actions of the world around them.
And there isn't an "Avatar Cycle" like in the show - this is a different set of mechanics with a similar feel.
This version of Twilight's mom... eugh. 'Advancing science and magic, the very fields that make us intelligent species separate from animals and makes us great and untouchable by them? How plebian.'.
Bah.
This shall be a wonderful story to read and recommend.
So much I love already.... Better review when not on phone
but thats really what’d happened
1. That's.
Twilight Vivid Sunriser Sparkle
BOY! was Velvet really hoping with that one, and SO WRONG!?
You have my interest with this story.
5286435 I hear that, dude.
5281862 That profile pic tho!
All in all, this may prove intriguing... Let the journey begin!
Also, Sunset in a hero role! Goody!
will she meet the other's?