• Published 17th Nov 2014
  • 4,191 Views, 564 Comments

You Are Normal Too - Never2muchpinkie

When mother and daughter get into a fight over a misunderstanding their reconciliation leads to the reveal of Dinky's father, a cruel stallion who broke Derpy's heart. Can Derpy put her past regrets behind to find love and romance in the present?

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Chapter 2: Regrets of the past

After maybe an hour Derpy left her daughter’s bedroom, a dead look on her face. She went to the kitchen and mechanically began taking out things for dinner. Her mind felt blank.

Dinner was a subdued affair. The two of them both sat at the table, eating in complete silence, neither of them looking up from their plates throughout. When it was over Dinky gave a muffled “Thanks” before heading to her room.

Dinky sat on her bed, feeling like she wanted to cry again. Getting under the covers she decided to go to bed early.

Derpy was still in the kitchen, washing the dishes. Gentle tears came down her face as her daughter’s words came back to her. “I can’t look at you right now.” “Those eyes!” She sniffed, her eyes closing as she let out a small sob before forcing herself to continue her task.

She wondered how long Dinky had felt ashamed of her. And now that Dinky had begun asking about her father again it only made her feel worse. She had always considered her daughter her closest supporter. No matter how tough things were Dinky made her days brighter. She had always strived to give her daughter the best.

She supposed it couldn’t be helped. She knew from her childhood how everyone tended to look down on those who were different. It wasn’t surprising that her daughter would start to dislike how her mother stood out so much.

When she finished the dishes she went upstairs to her room. On the way there she passed by her daughter’s room. The door was open a crack, and she looked inside to see Dinky was asleep already. With a sigh she pulled the door closed, hoping that Dinky was having nice dreams.

Derpy sat at the desk in her room, papers and a calculator in front of her. She held a quill in her mouth, writing down numbers and using her hooves to punch in calculations. The more she wrote the worse she began to feel.

After a while she dropped the quill with a big sigh. She rested her head on her hoof, tears forming in her eyes. “Ugh! Why does it feel like I’m always on the brink of disaster?” As her tears began to fall she suddenly swiped her hoof across the desk, knocking everything to the ground. “Darn it!” she yelled out as she slammed her hooves into the desk. “Darn it! Darn it! Darn it!” She punctuated each sentence with another pound. She sniffed, wiping her face. She made herself take some deep breaths to settle down.

She closed her eyes as she put her head on both hooves. “I hate this,” she said quietly. “Bon Bon and Lyra have been so generous to me in transitioning to my new job. I don’t want to ask them to borrow any more money.” Letting out another heavy sigh she continued, “I guess I’m skipping lunch again this week.”

“WHAT?” came a voice from behind her. “What do you mean “again?””

Derpy grimaced. She hadn’t intended for Dinky to find that out. She slowly turned around. “Dinky, what are you doing up? It’s past your bedtime.”

Dinky glared back at her. “I heard a commotion going on and I just wanted to make sure you were okay.” Her eyes narrowing further she repeated, “What did you mean? How long have you been skipping lunch?”

Derpy just shrugged. “A few weeks. No matter how much I budget and scrimp and save I just don’t make enough to run a household and eat three meals a day.”

Tears began to come down Dinky’s eyes. “You never told me that.”

“Because you didn’t need to know.” She turned away from her daughter, unable to meet her penetrating eyes. Setting her head on her hooves again she said, “I knew if I told you you’d just worry about me. Isn’t it enough you have your own problems with bullies?”

Dinky felt confused. “But-but-but you always make sure I have breakfast and pack me a lunch and have a good dinner. And you always buy me a nice gift each time you get paid.”

A sense of guilt came over the mare. “That’s because you’re a child. You shouldn’t have to suffer for my stupidity and mistakes.” She wiped her eyes as more tears came down her eyes.

“Mom…” Dinky was crying now too. “You can’t do this all on your own! You need help!”

“I’m fine, Dinky. I’m making things work. I’m not usually so emotional about money. I’m just still worked up because of the fight you had.”

Dinky felt a pang in her heart. “Am I… am I just in the way then?”

“Of course not.”

“Why bother lying?” Dinky sniffed, her eyes brimming with tears. “You already told me how you feel about me before.”

“What are you talking about, muffin?” she asked as she turned toward her daughter.

In a mocking tone she imitated her mother’s voice and said, “I regret everything to do with that stallion.”

Derpy felt annoyance at the mention of him but she replied in a calm voice, “Yes. I said that. What about it?”

Dinky’s face puffed up. “See? You admit it! You hate me!”

Derpy cocked an eyebrow. “What?”

“So you regret everything to do with my dad? Well, isn’t one of the things you did with him to create ME?” Dinky sniffed, tears starting to pour down her cheeks. “So I guess you wish I was never born then!” Turning around she sat on the floor and curled up into a ball as she began sobbing a little.

Derpy’s mouth hung open, horror in her eyes. Jumping up she said, “No! No! No, no, no, no, no, no, no!” Running over to her daughter she picked Dinky up, pulling her child to her. “No, Dinky! Not at all! That’s the furthest thing from the truth there is!”

Dinky pulled out of her mother’s hold. “Why should I believe you? If you’re really being serious than tell me the truth already! How long are you going to hide me from my dad? You never mention him. You never talk about him. I don’t even know what he looks like! What, are you afraid I’ll like him better than you?”

Dinky’s accusations stung. Derpy let out a heavy breath. “You want to know about your father? Fine! I knew I would have to tell you one day. I just never wanted that day to come. Maybe then you’ll understand why I despise him so much.”

Storming over to a file cabinet she pulled out a drawer so forcefully it went flying out of her hooves, slamming into a wall.

She went rummaging through some files until she came out with a photograph. She pushed it into Dinky’s hooves. She saw a unicorn stallion with his hoof around her mom’s shoulders. They were both dressed up in fancy outfits with their hair styled and slicked. Both of them were wearing crowns. There was a spotlight on them, and they looked to be on a stage. Derpy looked so happy, while the stallion looked cocky and self-assured. He had green eyes, a brown coat, and a light blonde mane.

After a few seconds she ripped the picture from Dinky and threw it on the ground. “I only keep that picture because I can’t completely throw him away. Hate him or not there’s still a piece of him inside you.”

Dinky was hesitant. She had never heard her mom talk with such venom before. “So… what happened between you two?”

“I first met him in high school. I was one of the unpopular ones. Everyone thought it was amusing to mock me for my eyes, like I was below them for something I couldn’t even help. Bon Bon and Lyra were my only friends, but they couldn’t always be there to stand up for me.”

Memories long locked away began surfacing, and she could almost feel herself back in time.
“Hey, there! It’s Derpy! What’s she gonna break next? Who knows?”

“Maybe it’s intelligent. We should try to communicate with it. DUH! STU-PID!”

“What a freak! I’ve heard of four-eyes, but never magnet eyes. That’s the only reason I can think of for why they never want to be near each other.”
“I started crying right there. The next thing I knew the one who called me a freak went flying.”
“Hey!” said the stallion, rubbing his eye. “Who in the he-he-he-hello.” He let out a nervous laugh as he saw the pony standing there.
“That’s when I first met him: Shooting Star. He had socked the pony making fun of me good, giving him a black eye.”
“So,” said Shooting Star, looking around. “You all saw that, right? Poor guy walked right into a doorknob. Riiiight?”

Everyone else quickly nodded.

“Now,” Shooting Star said, pulling the pony up to his hooves, “I think you should apologize to the little lady, or I’ll give you a matching set again.” He lifted his hoof, gently tapping the stallion’s other eye.

“Y-y-yes. Right away!” He bowed his head toward Derpy. “I’m very sorry for my comments. Please forgive me.”

“Does anyone ELSE here want to make fun of her eyes?” He lifted up a hoof. “Maybe I’ll let someone else experience what it’s like to have mismatched eyes for a while.”

A hush went over the crowd, everyone sweating. They all looked at the ground or each other or the ceiling, but no one dared to look at him. “That’s what I thought.”
“When the pony went to start a fight and he saw Shooting Star he quickly got over his anger. Shooting Star was the lead player in the Bucking Bronco’s, our school sports team. His father was one of the wealthiest in town, and so with those two factors he had a lot of influence and popularity. Going against him was asking for trouble of the worst sort. No one messed with him, and he basically ran the school. Even the teachers barely said anything to him.

“The crowd left soon after, not wanting to face his wrath if he changed his mind, leaving only me and him. I was so surprised. I really didn’t know what to say.
“Umm, thanks,” said Derpy, blushing. “I really appreciate it.”

He smirked, giving one of his confident looks. “No prob. Those guys get swelled heads if you don’t knock them down a peg once in a while.”

Derpy saw him staring at her, and she started feeling self-conscious. She turned her head away, looking at the ground. She let out a little squeak as she felt his hoof on her chin. “W-what are you doing?”

He let out a little snicker as they met eyes again. “So that’s what all the fuss is about? Because your eyes don’t point in the same direction? Sheesh. If you’re going to bully someone you’d think you could at least do it for something of more substance.

“I actually think they’re kinda cute like that. It certainly makes you more unique than all the other ponies I know.”

Derpy’s blush went from a little tinge to covering both her cheeks. Her face felt red hot. This was the first time anyone had ever complimented her eye disorder. She put her hooves on her face with an embarrassed giggle as she turned her head to the side.

“Come on,” he said with a laugh. “Stop turning away. Give me a smile and show them you’re not gonna let them get you down.”

Her face still flushed she forced a smile on her face. It felt like a dream. The most popular stallion in school was talking to her.

“That’s better. Don’t ever lose that smile. Those bums aren’t worth a single frown. I’ll prove that to you. Give me just an hour or two of your time and I promise no one will ever make fun of your eyes again.”

Derpy just blinked a few times, confused. She let out a sigh. “That would be lovely, but I don’t see how you’re gonna do that.”

He put his hoof out. “You wanna go out for a milkshake later?”

Derpy just blinked, sure that she had misheard him. “Excuse me?”

“After school let’s hit up Sugarcube Corner and get some milkshakes. What do you say?”

She heard it a second time, but she still didn’t believe it. In order to distract herself she asked, “Um, but what does that have to do with ponies bullying me?” She was still having a hard time believing the most popular pony wanted anything to do with the least popular pony.

He let out a mischievous laugh. “Once other ponies see you with me they won’t dare open their mouth to say anything bad about you. You just saw what happened a few minutes ago. Every single one of those ponies, including the one I hit, will swear he walked into a door until their dying day.”

Lifting his hoof he pushed a stray strand of hair away from her face. “So what’s your answer?”

Derpy looked at the ground, tears starting to form in her eyes.

“What’s wrong?” Shooting Star asked, a concerned tone in his voice.

“I’m a loser and a washout. I appreciate you sticking up for me, but I just can’t accept that someone like you would want to go on a date with me. I’d only bring your reputation down. And,” she closed her eyes as a few tears dripped down, “I can just see it. I head to Sugarcube Corner and wait at the table, and then you never show up. And you and all your buddies get a laugh at how gullible and stupid I am.”

Shooting Star shook his head. “No way! Not at all. What kinda stallion do you think I am?”

Derpy looked up slightly. “Your dad is rich and you’re an athlete. Surely you can find a better mare than me.”

Shooting Star huffed, letting out a playful sigh. “Do you know why I’m asking you out?”

Derpy just shrugged, wiping away the tears coming down her face.

“Because I’m sick of all the shallow mares that surround me. Every day they gather around me, sucking up to me and hanging on my every word, but there isn’t a real one among them. They’re not actually interested in me as a pony, only for the prestige that comes with being close to me, and the hopes that they can get a life on easy street because of my family’s wealth. To be honest I’m getting fed up with it.

“So really I’m just looking for a change of pace. It’s a win-win scenario for both of us. All those idiots who like to mock you will leave you alone, and I get to know someone who has more on their mind than just what they can get out of me. Besides, once I show that I’m taken most of the phonies should back off. Well, even if I start dating you they’ll be watching like a hawk and hoping you mess up so they can flock to me again. All the talk of the popular ponies and the shallow mares gets really tiresome after a while. It’ll be nice to have a change of pace and really get to know someone who is a little lower on the popularity ladder.”

He lifted his hoof again, gently rubbing her face. “So come on. Stop those tears and give me an answer.”

Derpy looked at him, still feeling a little uncertain. She could still imagine it all being a big joke. She didn’t want to get her hopes up. “So what if I say no? Are you gonna strike me too?”

He let out a snicker. “Ah, see. This is why I need a mare like you. It’s nice to see someone not falling over themselves to worship me.

“How about this? I’ll meet you after school and we’ll walk to the sweet shop together, then you won’t have to be worried about me not showing up. At least that way the worst that will happen if I let you down is you have to walk home alone, hmm?”

Derpy took a deep breath. “Well… okay. I’d love to, um, go out with you.”

“Sounds great. I’ll meet you near the front entrance after school.”


Dinky looked up as her mom paused. There was a wistful look on her face. “Mom?”

“Huh?” She shook her head a bit to focus.

“If I was born I guess that means he showed up.”

“Yes… he did.”

“So come on!” She poked her mother, anxious excitement on her face. “Continue the story!”

Derpy closed her eyes and sighed. “Fine.”


After school Derpy was pacing restlessly back and forth. A part of her felt like just running home. It had to be a trick. There was something behind it. Maybe he wanted to play a prank on her. Was she about to be humiliated in front of the whole school? Wasn’t she mocked enough already?

Her heart was racing and each second felt like an eternity. She felt out of breath, even though she was barely moving.

Lines of mares and stallions were filing out. Some of them stayed around the school, chatting before heading for home.

Interrupting her thoughts was a derisive voice. “Move it, freak eyes!” A mare shoved her, knocking her to the ground. Derpy was so shocked she couldn’t react at first. Tears began forming in her eyes as the laughter and name-calling started. She really wanted to just crawl into a hole and hide.

As she looked the mare and her group of friends ran over to a stallion, fangirling. She gasped as she saw it was Shooting Star. He didn’t look happy. “Great!” she muttered to herself. “Not only do I look like an idiot in front of everyone else, but now I have to look like an idiot in front of him too.” There was no way he was going to want to lower his reputation in front of a fool like her.

Shooting Star pushed his way through the giggling girls, walking along the path.

Clop clop clop. She heard the sound of his hooves on the pavement as he got closer and closer. Derpy prayed he would just continue walking and not notice her.

When he was right next to her he sat down and used both his hooves to pull her back up. Rounding on the surprised girls he said nastily, “You want to tell me why you think it’s okay to shove a girl and mock her and then expect me to want you by my side?”

The mare looked speechless. “Um, I, um-”

“I’m looking for more than the shallow attention horses like you, so grow up and get a life. From now on anyone who messes with my mare will have to answer to me.” With that he put a hoof around Derpy and pulled her to him.

A hush went over the crowd as every head turned to him.

Derpy’s face burned at the crowd all looking toward her. The expressions ranged from surprised and shocked, to confused, and, most prevalent of all, outrage from the mares.

“Do-I-make-myself-clear?” He said each word slowly and deliberately.

“Y-y-yes, Shooting Star.”

“Good! Now let’s go, baby.”

It took Derpy a few seconds before his words penetrated her brain. “O-okay. Sure.” She began walking, her legs feeling shaky.

After they had left the school yard behind and were walking along the grass Shooting Star laughed and said, “Man, that felt great!” He looked over at her. “Wouldn’t you agree? Hmm? Are you crying again?”

Derpy wiped her face, bowing her head. “I’m sorry!”

His head tilted a little. “For what?”

“For not believing in you.”

Putting a hoof around her he mussed up her mane a bit. “Come on! I told you I got your back. Just wait until you see how they treat you tomorrow. So long as you got my backing they won’t have the courage to be disrespectful to you anymore. All the idiots who wouldn’t even give you a chance before will want to talk to you now.”

Derpy giggled, gently pushing his hoof away. He had really done it. Publicly, right in front of everyone, he had pledged himself to her. She couldn’t deny it now. He was being truthful. She let out a long breath, feeling like a ton of stress and pain was leaving along with it. He really was being genuine, and that felt like the greatest thing.

The two of them chatted about inconsequential things on the way to the shop. When they arrived they took a corner booth, ordering two shakes. Derpy was a lot more open in talking, leaving behind her shyness and suspicion. She laughed and joked and blushed, feeling like the luckiest mare in the world. Shooting Star was a fascinating pony to her. She certainly never thought she’d be worth more than a passing glance to a star like him, but he actually did value her.

The highlight of her date was seeing another one of her worst bully’s mouth drop when she saw the two of them together. The mare sputtered incoherently for a few seconds, and Derpy just waved hello to her, suppressing the urge to be cocky about it. Shooting Star had said that he wanted to get to know her better because she was different from all the other arrogant mares, so it wouldn’t do to get a swelled head over her position.

At the end of their date he paid for their shakes and walked her home.

“I had a lot of fun today,” Shooting Star said as they stood in front of her front door.

“Same here!” Derpy said in an overly excitable tone, her voice squeaking. She blushed, giving an awkward smile. “I’m sorry. I’m-I just… I-I-I-” She giggled, her cheeks turning a deeper pink. “Oh, I’m sorry. I just didn’t know life could feel this good.”

Shooting Star grinned back at her. “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it. It’s just like I thought. You’re different. You certainly don’t talk all the same garbage the so-called popular girls do. They’re all just carbon copies of each other.

“You wanna go out again sometime?”

Not trusting herself to speak she simply nodded.

“Great. I’ll see you at school tomorrow.” He gave her a quick peck on the cheek and winked at her before walking away. “See ya.”

Derpy blinked in surprise, putting a hoof to her cheek. She let out a squeal, hurrying inside to her room. “What a day!” she yelled out to the air. She looked at herself in the mirror and saw her cheeks were still flushed. She was used to blushing from embarrassment from all the jerks and bullies who relentlessly berated her. This was the first day that she could recall happy embarrassment. She took out her brush and began combing her mane, happy tears pouring down her eyes.

The rest of the day she was anxious and excited and nervous and joyful and so many other mixes of emotions she couldn’t comprehend them all. She had never felt like this before.

It seemed like this was a day of new firsts. When she went to sleep that night she didn’t dread going to school in the morning. She couldn’t recall the last time she had felt that way.

She woke up in the morning feeling refreshed. Going to school that day was just as glorious as it had been in her dreams. Just like Shooting Star promised not a single pony said a word about her eyes. Quite a few ponies engaged her in conversation, some of them even apologizing and admitting they had only done it to fit in.

The ponies who usually made fun of her gave her a wide berth. Everywhere she walked ponies finally treated her like an equal instead of as inferior.

It was like a dream. She just hoped she didn’t wake up soon.


“Mom?” said Dinky.

“Yes, honey?”

“I don’t get it.”

“Get what?”

“Dad attacked someone mocking you, defended you in front of the whole school, and helped make you sorta popular. He sounds like a perfect gentlecolt. So why are you so mad at him?”

“Over the coming months we grew closer and closer. I went from the school outcast to one of the most popular in school. I never descended to their level. I stuck around the others who weren’t considered hot stuff. No matter what I did none of the other students dared cross me. I actually felt a little bad how scared they were of me running to Shooting Star and telling him anything.

“He pushed me to laugh at my eye condition, insisting that they only went after me for it because I made it so obvious it bothered me. He bought me presents to let me know he was thinking of me, which always brightened my day. I cheered him on at his games and made him meals.

“Near the end of sophomore year is where things began getting complicated. He invited me to the school prom. I accepted, of course. Before I met him I probably wouldn’t have even bothered to go. He bought me the most lovely dress. I spent hours doing my hair. My parents were so happy for me.

“We danced most of the night away. At the end we were both announced as prom king and queen. With the spotlight on me and him I could hear the cheering of hundreds of students. I truly loved everything about life. In that moment I felt I knew that that was what life was all about. No matter how bad things get we all should live simply to experience that one golden time where everything feels right.

“When we get back to my place I invited him in for a bit. My parents left a note saying they were going out for the night so not to wait up for them.

“So there we were in my room. I slipped off my dress and let down my mane. I looked at the picture of the two of us, the one I showed you earlier, and…”

Dinky waited, but her mother didn’t complete her sentence. “And what?”

There was a profound sadness on the mare’s face as she said, “In the craziness of that night… the joy, the euphoria, the gratefulness and thankfulness I felt to Shooting Star for making it all happen… I wasn’t thinking right. He had given me so much, without asking for anything but my company. He had given me so much, and so I wanted to give him back something special to show him just how much he meant to me. I wanted to show him he was the most special stallion I knew, and that there would never be another like him. I decided to show him I loved him and no other by giving the gift you can only give once.”

Dinky’s eyebrow rose. “What’s that?” A tinge appeared on her mother’s face, but she didn’t answer. “Come on! What was it?”

After a very long silence she said, “I presented myself to him. After he asked and I confirmed that it was what I wanted… we mated.” Dinky’s eyes went wide. “It was an extreme experience for sure. Sometimes painful, but I didn’t care about that so long as he was happy.

“I think I must have passed out at some point because of the intensity of the feelings going through me, because it felt like the next thing I knew we were both in my bed under the covers. He asked me if I was alright. I felt a little sore, but it didn’t mean a thing to me. I snuggled up close to him, my heart full of my love for him. I held him close and closed my eyes. At the time I felt I could die happy. I had become a real mare and as I drifted off I thought of our future. Of marriage and foals and getting our own place.”

Tears came down her eyes as she recalled that night. Talking about it made her relive the feelings, making her feel like she had gone back in time to when it happened.

Seeing her mom crying made her reluctant to ask, but finally Dinky intruded on the silence. “Is… is that how I was created?”

Derpy wiped her face, giving a little nod. “In my recklessness I hadn’t thought to have either of us use birth control. “

Dinky could see the pain in her mom’s eyes and hear how quiet her voice had gotten, and she found she wasn’t all that interested to hear the rest. She knew something bad was coming. “It’s okay, mom. You don’t have to say anymore.”

Derpy just shook her head as another few tears came down. “No. You deserve to know the truth. I put it off for as long as I could, but now that I’ve started I’m not stopping. You’re the one who made me revisit all these memories, and I don’t want to have to ever think about them again after today.”

Dinky looked at the ground, her stomach churning and her heart beginning to speed up.

“When I woke up in the morning he was gone. He left me a note saying it was for the best, because my parents would surely flip if they caught us in bed together. He was right, of course.

“I rushed to the bathroom and washed up, trying to hide any evidence that a boy had been there alone with me.

“When I went to the kitchen and saw my parents I put on a big smile and acted like nothing out of the ordinary had happened.

“Soon enough my dreams gave way to reality. Shooting Star had been distant from me all of a sudden. When I finally managed to confront him about it he claimed that it was a necessary thing because I was too young to be doing things like that. I accepted that.

“After a few weeks I began having odd symptoms. I thought I had a fever or a bug, so I went to the doctor. Imagine my surprise when I found out that I was actually pregnant. For some reason, up until that point, I never even considered the thought that I could get pregnant. It never crossed my mind. All my worries and concerns were about my parents finding out what I did and, yes, that I was too young to be mating with stallions.

“Looking at myself in the mirror I could see a scared mare on the verge of a panic attack. I had no idea what to do. I thought of all the stories that would be told about me. I thought of how upset and disappointed my parents would be. I was still in school with over two years left to go.

“The next day I went to see Shooting. I was freaking, crying my eyes out. When I asked him what I should do I couldn’t believe his response.”


“Pregnant?” said Shooting, a calm expression on his face.

“Yes!” said Derpy, tears pouring down her eyes. “I’m feeling so lost! I don’t know what to do. Shooting! Shooting!” She ran over and hugged him. “W-what should we do?”

“We? That’s YOUR problem.”

“Wha-what?” she said disbelievingly as she looked up at him.

He pushed her away from him. “Look, babe. It was a fun six months with you, but I got what I wanted so now I’ve lost interest in you.”

Derpy blinked repeatedly, unable to comprehend what she was hearing. “What are you saying, Shooting?”

He rolled his eyes. “Tch. Do I need to spell it out for you? Remember what happened after the prom? That was my end goal all along.

“I was being serious when I said I needed a break from all the idiots who surrounded me, but I already had a mare lined up who’s more my speed for a while now. She’s someone also of wealth and prominence who fits more into my social class than a rube like you. No offense, of course.” The last line was dripping with sarcasm.

Tears began forming in her eyes. “So I… I was just a fling for you?”

“Ding ding ding! But do you really have the right to complain? After all, because of me all your bullies have gone by the wayside, you’ve made a bunch of friends, and you had the honor of having me as your first.

“Of course, you’re always free to go around and talk about what a jerk I am. But, really, who’s gonna listen to you? You’ve seen how much authority I command first hoof. The only thing you’ll get in return for starting a hate campaign against me is losing every one of the perks you got from being my girl. You should be grateful for that much.

“I had my fun, but there’s no more entertainment to be had here. So, I wish you luck with the brat.” He patted her head and began walking past her without another word.


Derpy’s eyes were clenched shut. “Broken doesn’t even come close to describing the feeling in my heart. Shattered into a million pieces and scattered like dust is a more correct term. In the time of my life when I was at my most scared and most vulnerable… at the time when I most needed comfort and support… I was abandoned by the one I thought I was going to spend my life with. And just to kick more sand in my face he flat out told me he never truly cared about me. I was just someone to pass the time with before something better came along.”

Dinky cried and sniffed. She found it unbelievable that anyone could be that cold.

“Left alone with no one else to turn to I almost made the biggest mistake of my life. In my fear and panic and heartache I came close to solving my pregnancy problem in a permanent way. However, when I went to the hospital for the procedure and they were about to give me the stuff to knock me out I suddenly realized exactly what I was about to do. I was about to destroy an innocent life that had never done anything wrong. I was the one who made the mistake. Why should I take it out on my unborn child?

“I ran out of the hospital. When I got home I must have spent over an hour just rubbing my stomach and apologizing and crying my eyes out. I promised myself right then and there that no matter what happened I was going to have the baby, and I was going to keep it and raise it.

“When I finally calmed down a little I went and told my parents the news. Needless to say they didn’t approve. I lied about Shooting Star, though. He was right. He had too much power to try to make a move against him. I had to put on a smile and act like everything was alright, because I was afraid my dad would lose it if he heard what Shooting Star had done to me, and I was scared of what Shooting Star or his family would do to my family if we tried to go against him.

“School was basically the same. Shooting Star considered his good guy reputation too great to say he was only using me. He claimed that we both agreed to split apart, and I did nothing to dissuade that notion. We both put on an act whenever we saw each other. We pretended to be friendly when I’m sure he wanted to sneer and I wanted to cry.

“I couldn’t hide my pregnancy forever. My mom and dad flat out refused to let me stay home when I began to show too much to hide it anymore. I pleaded for them to home school me, but they told me that I had to be responsible for my choices. Whispers followed me around school. Because me and Shooting Star gave off the illusion we were both still on good terms no one would say anything to my face, but I’m sure a bunch of them realized who the father was. My closest friends were tactful enough not to probe into the matter. They could tell I was embarrassed enough by it.

“I lied a lot in the coming months. I always had an excuse for why Shooting Star wasn’t around anymore. I’d go out and meander around in some far off part of town where I knew I wouldn’t run into my parents so I could say I went to visit him. Even on the day of your birth I had to lie about Shooting Star. I claimed he was out of town playing another sports team, which is why he couldn’t be there for me.

“After a few hours of pain and discomfort out you came. The doctors cleaned you up, wrapped you in a warm blanket, and handed you to me.” Derpy’s eyes were closed again, but this time she had a tender smile on her face. “That was the happiest moment of my life. You were so cute… so beautiful. Your coat was so smooth, and you looked so peaceful. I held you to me like I’m doing right now, and all felt right in the world again.

“But of course, just like before, reality set in. I was a single mother still living at home and in high school. My mother had given me a bunch of instructions and the two of them had chipped in to buy me new baby supplies or gave me some of my old baby things they had stored in the attic. Mom graciously offered to foalsit you whenever I was in school.

“I always felt tired. Because I was so busy with school and homework and sleeping I didn’t get to spend as much time with you as I wanted to. It all came to a head when one day I heard you call your grandma “mom.” From that day on I resolved to make more time for you. As soon as I got home I’d take you from my mother and care for you until you went to sleep. Of course, depending on how fussy you were feeling it could be many hours. On top of that I would still have to finish all my homework and sleep. I tried to do everything by myself as much as I could, and I knew I would burn out sooner or later, but you’re my daughter, and I couldn’t bear to see you call anyone else your mom.

“The only truly smart thing I did with my life was decide to stay in school. I was so tempted to drop out so I’d have more time to dedicate to you, but I forced myself to stay. Like I said earlier I knew I’d have to tell you all this one day. I wanted to set a good example for you, so you couldn’t ever say I endorsed running away from your problems.

“Even after I graduated things didn’t get much easier. Pride got in the way of good judgment. I grew tired of burdening my parents with all my problems, so I got a job. The first chance I got I moved out. Shortly after that I lost them in an accident. Both of them had left me a sizable inheritance. Besides what I had to pay out for funeral costs and for things I was desperate in need for I put almost all of that money into an account for you for when you get older.

“At that point I truly think I would have broken for good… had it not been for you.” She pulled Dinky closer. “In the worst time of my life you always helped me get by. Whenever I felt like quitting you were always there to remind me why I had to keep going.

“A few years passed. When you were four years old I decided to contact Shooting for the first time in a long while. There were nights where I couldn’t sleep, where all I could think about was him. And because of you it’s not like I could ever forget what we wrought.

“I sent him a letter. All it really was was about four sentences and another envelope with some pictures of you. I told him that I was doing okay, and I thought he might like to see what his daughter looked like.”

Derpy began shaking, and Dinky could hear her growl. “M-mom? Are you okay?”

“No! He sent the letter back to me. The envelope was sent back in a bigger envelope, which means he opened it. However, the envelope with the pictures of you was still sealed.

“I’ve had a lot of time to reconcile a lot of facts about what happened between us. I can accept the fact that he used me. I can accept that he wanted a more wealthy and socialite mare. I can accept that he didn’t want to be in your life because he didn’t want a child holding him back from his career. All of those are things I’ve been able to get over. However, pretending he never had a child at all is beyond unforgivable. He didn’t have any interest in what you looked like. He never once asked if I needed money for you. He never once ever asked about you. It’s one thing if he didn’t give a fig about me, but he helped to create you. You’re one half of him. He didn’t have to love me, but he should have at least felt something for his own daughter!”

Derpy huffed, breathing heavily through her nose as she let out a snort. The anger slowly faded and she said, “Earlier… when I was talking about my regrets… I was talking solely about me. I regret being taken in by his act. I regret constantly lying to my parents. I regret giving myself to the first stallion that showed me some kindness. I regret getting pregnant before I was ready to be a mom. I regret these stupid eyes. I regret my klutziness. I regret my stupidity and dimwittedness. The list just goes on and on and on.” Derpy sighed. Picking her daughter up she set her on the floor. “Go back to bed now, Dinky. I need to be alone right now.”

Dinky didn’t want to leave. She could see her mom was in pain. “But I don’t want to go.”

“Dinky, I asked you nicely the first time. I don’t want to raise my voice.”

“Mom…” A tear came down her eye. “I’m sorry! If I hadn’t asked-”

“None of it is your fault, Dinky. Now please leave.”

Dinky looked at the floor, then back up at her mom. She repeated this a few times, then slowly turned around and headed for the door. When she got there she turned her head and said, “I love you, mommy! You know that, don’t you?” Derpy didn’t answer. Her mother appeared to be in her own world. With a heavy heart she left the room, shutting the door behind her.

It didn’t take long before Dinky heard it: Her mother let out a long, mournful wail before dissolving into uncontrollable sobbing. Dinky closed her eyes, collapsing against a wall as she put her hoof over her heart and began sobbing right along with her mother.

Author's Note:

Check out my story: Rough Beginnings. It goes into more depth about their relationship and what came after, bridging the years before and after Dinky's birth.


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