A Faithful Night of Music

by ColeTrain4EVER

Chapter 7 (Updated Version, Reread)

Authors Notes: Guys, I'm thinking of putting clop in the story. Give me your opinion on this. Not like just getting off clop, clop that is good for the story and its character development. Give me your thoughts. Also, going to BronyCon this weekend, so YAY!

The dinner went by, we chatted throughout about life and our careers and such. The dinner was nice, three courses, fancy wine, the works. The whole thing probably cost them a small fortune, but Octavia seemed to handle the bill with no problem.

After she paid we all went out to the waterfront for a walk in the night air. Although, Vinyl was mobbed by Fans and paparazzi, so it was just me and Octavia.

We walked for a little while before stopping and looking over the railing and seeing the city across the water. It was nice, the lights of the skyscrapers lit up the reflections in the water. But when I looked over, Octavia’s mind seemed to be somewhere else.

“You ok?” I asked her

“Yeah, I’m fine.” She said starring into the water; “I’ve just been thinking about things is all.”

“Like what?”

She was silent for a few moments, before answering; “I’m just wondering if I’m doing the right thing with my life.”

“Ahh”

“I want to know if Vinyl is appreciates me. I give so much for her, yet she only jokes around and treats me like a parent.”

“She does appreciate you, she just doesn’t show it in a…..normal way.”

She was silent after that. The river glistened from the lights coming off the skyscrapers in the distance as a green light illuminated from across the depths of the water. A soft breeze blew Octavia's hair to the side making her somehow look even more angelic. The whole scene was almost divinely romantic but I couldn't help but be reminded of a book from some time ago. (A commenter gave me this and it was too fucking brilliant to pass up. So thanks Zanmatsuken)

“It’s Ironic isn’t it Daisy?” I said with a small grin.

“Come again?” She asked.

“Here we are, on the wealthy side of the city, you want to have something that seems out of reach, and there’s a green light on the river.”

Her eyes went wide for a moment and she giggled. “You’ve read the Great Gatsby?”

“Why yes I have.”

“After High School?”

“Maybe.”

We laughed at this and I found myself more relaxed around Octavia now.

“So Michael,” she continued: “What do you read?”

“This and that,” I explained; “Stephen King, Dan Brown, Richard Bach, etc.”

“Very varied, I’m impressed.” She praised; “Favorite book?”

“Ahh, that’s a hard one.” I confessed; “Either, To Kill a Mocking Bird, or Shawshank Redemption.”

“Classics,” she was very impressed; “Tell me something, have you ever considered writing?”

“Not really, I keep the stories I think up to myself.” I looked out into the water and saw some fire truck lights in the water, along with the sound of the sirens. They were passing the restaurant going into the city.

But something was strange about them.

“Can we get back to the car Octavia?”

“Oh,” she seemed to be day dreaming; “Sure, let me get Vinyl.”

“I’ll meet you there.” I said running to the front of the restaurant.

The car was waiting in the front of the restaurant under the awning. I took the keys from the vale and jumped into the driver’s seat. I reached over to the glove compartment and pulled out a device that looked like a walkie talky. It was my father’s old scanner that he gave me all those years ago. I immediately turned in on and raised the volume. I jumped when I heard the passenger doors open and saw Octavia climb in the front and Vinyl jump in the back. I went back to fiddling with the device.

“What’s that?” Vinyl asked.

“It’s a Fire Department Scanner, I answered; “I can listen into the radio chatter with this.”

“How’d you get one?” Vinyl asked with a raised brow.

“My father was friends with a lot of firefighters. They gave him one so that he could come to fire’s and help out in any way he could. He was a temp fire fighter, and he knew a lot, so he was useful.”

At that moment, the radio exploded with chatter.

“Two alarm fire, fourth and fifth floor, Address is-.”

My eyes shot open as I realized I knew the address. I started the car and raced out of the parking lot.

“What’s wrong!?” Octavia asked with some fear in her voice.

“The address they just said is my apartment complex!”

“What!? But, how did you know to check that thing!?” Octavia asked, still unsure of the situation

“Call it a trait from my father. He always told me to trust my gut.”

We raced down the street, before we caught up to a fire truck.

“Here’s another little trick I learned from my dad.”

I pulled up behind the truck, matched it speed, and used it as a shield to get through the city quickly.

“Nice thinking.” Vinyl remarked from the back.

“I’m really sorry about this girls, I just-.”

“It’s fine.” Octavia interrupted me.

I looked over and she shot me a smile, a nodded and kept up speed with the truck.

When we arrived at the apartments, we were greeted with a terrible sight. The top floors of my apartment building and we could see black smoke rising high into the air. I ran over to the fire chief and showed my father’s old badge. I asked him what had happened. He told me that someone in the apartment above mine was making dinner and something went wrong. Everyone had gotten out, but the fire was hard to get under control. I looked up and saw my apartment was under a fire infested apartment. I saw that the firefighters were busy and that this was my best shot.

In the mist of the confusion, I ran towards the door, trying to get in the building. Two firefighters saw me charging for the door and promptly tackled me to the ground. I begged and pleaded with them, I told them about how my life was in there, but to no avail. They shoved me back as I watched the fire sweep through the building. I watched it travel from room to room, like a wild beast on a rampage.

As time went on, the fire fighters seemed to get control of the blaze and I found myself slumped on a curb with my head in my knees.

I soon felt a hand rest on my shoulder, I looked up and saw Vinyl starring down at me.

"Sorry about all this."

"Its fine." She grabbed me in a hug which I gladly accepted.

We both watched as the fire seemed to be under control.

"So know what?" she asked me

"I don't know, but that's not the main thing on my mind."

"What is?"

I didn't answer her, I just watched as the two fire fighters from before exited the building. I approached them as the two were standing next to the pump. They were surprised to see me, but not angry with me at all. I asked them if I could be escorted in to retrieve just one thing. I knew it could survive the fire's, but I wanted it has soon as possible. The two men looked at each other, and seeing who my father was, they agreed and we shook on it

I walked back to Vinyl, who was know joined by Octavia, as the two men waited near the building, or what was left of it.

"I'm going in."

"What!?" Octavia shouted in shock; "Are you completely mental?"

"I need to get something. I'll be in and out."

"That's far to dangerous. You can't-."

"Let him go Tavi," Vinyl said with a stern look on her face; "He needs to do this."

Octavia was silent, before finally nodding. "Just be careful."

I nodded and walked up to the firemen. They gave me a air mask, a air tank, some gloves, and a firemen jacket. Then we began to climb up the stairs.

The walk up was usually nothing, a five minute walk I enjoyed to take everyday. But the gear made it hell, along with the heat. I looked and saw the damage of the building. To think one person ruined all these people's lives. I shook the thought from my head, it was an accident and I know the man was probably feeling terrible right about now.

We reached the door frame to my apartment as the door had been kicked in by firefighters. I jokingly grabbed my keys and pretended to undo the lock.

'locks a bit sticky today."

The men laughed a little as we entered the house. I looked around. Most of my stuff was gone. All my furniture, all my food, all my stuff. I couldn't believe it. Where would I go? What would I do? But I shook the depressing thoughts from my head and continued to the bedroom. I entered and saw my mattress was a huge burnt mess. I never knew mattress were a super conductor of fires, because that's what it looked like.

I entered the closet and after moving some burnt clothes out of the way, I found what I was looking for.

A small personal safe.

I want to grab it, but one of the men told me he had to take it down for safety reasons.

I was going to question this, but then I remembered where I was.

He grabbed the safe and we began to leave. I turned around and looked once more. I shook my head and left the apartment.

We walked down the hall and almost reached the stairs, when we heard a loud crack sound.

I didn't have time to look, I just did the first thing in my mind and pushed the firefighter out of the way, but it wasn't him who would need saving as I found out when a piece of building fell onto me. I fell to the ground and soon lost consciousness.

More Author's Notes: Thank you Zanmatsuken, I needed to redo this. Hopefully that doesn't happen again with me editing at 1 in the morning.

Comments

[PSY]

sure if it develops the charcters in any way

[Solar Eclipse]

You could have a second fic labeled a faithful night of music clo. Or something, they don't hav to be in the exact same fiction, you know? But in all cases, of it moves the plot, go for it

[Zanmatsuken]

Clop for the sake of clop would be no bueno. However for char. development, i'm all for it(....take that in the spirit in which it is intended).

As for the chapter itself. I really only have two complaints. First is the lack of detail. You don't have to show everything but the important pieces to the scene can add many layers to the tale. Even something as simple as, "The river glistened from the lights coming off the skyscrapers in the distance as a green light illuminated from across the depths of the water. A soft breeze blew Octavia's hair to the side making her somehow look even more angelic. The whole scene was almost divinely romantic but I couldn't help but be reminded of a book from some time ago. (go into Gatsby stuff)"

Second is the final scene. Granted, it is a fic so you can do whatever you want with it. However the whole thing seemed a bit unrealistic. Firefighters would have blocked off the scene and someone running into the blaze would have been stopped. I hope I don't step on any toes by doing this but I would like to show how it could have been improved, at least in my opinion, by adding emotional sympathy to the character we are taking place as; retaining the same seeming goals of the chapter;as well as making the protagonist seem a little less meta. I am gonna do this in a bullet point set up just because I don't feel like writing the whole thing out.

Because it is 4 in the morning and I haven't slept for like 2 days now, calling the protagonist "OC" instead of searching for a name.

Let's start with the apparent goals. I don't know what you have for future plans but this is just what I gathered from reading.
-Get OC homeless so that Oct/Vinyl might take him in which will lead to further the romance.
-As well as homeless, make OC basically have nothing.
-Get OC hurt so that Oct/Vinyl want to help him that much more.

Here's how I see the scene could have gone.
-OC arrives and tries to rush in. Firefighter stops him.
-OC tries again, is ts stopped and threatened to be arrested if he tries to interrupt again.
-OC stairs blankly as home is destroyed. Oct/Vinyl don't know what to do/scared to do anything(even comfort OC)
-After fire is killed, OC begs to see if any of his possessions remain. Namely the stuff in the safe.
-FF takes pity on him and agrees so long as he is escorted.
-Finds &opens safe to see everything most unharmed. Letter is toasty but no significant damage, some cash burnt beyond use but a fair amount is left, pictures are slightly burnt in corners but remain otherwise unharmed.
-As he gathers the contents of the safe a loud creaking sound is heard and the skeleton of the roof collapses. OC feels the FF pull him out of the way but he is hit and is knocked unconscious.
-(to extend the scene) OC waits up in the hospital to Vinyl and Oct passed out in the room's chairs. Next to him are all the belongs he had.
-Defeated, OC breaks down and quietly cries himself back to sleep.

I hope in some abstract way this helps show that showing a bit more can add a bit to the story and that you need to be a bit more realistic in the actions of the characters(namely, running into a raging inferno is not realistic, at least to me it isn't). Also sorry for the above essay.

[ColeTrain4EVER]

824325
FYI, I may or may not have been checking this at 1 AM last night. So my detail detector was.....off. So I may add things to this chapter. And I really like that God Damn line and I'm mad I didn't think of it. lol

[ColeTrain4EVER]

824325
Also, even If I wanted to change the story, how could I? Its already out.

[ColeTrain4EVER]

824325
.....If I was to use this, I will give you credit for the idea. I was very tired with this chap and I think it should be far better. So thank you.

[ColeTrain4EVER]

Redone, sorry bout that

[Zanmatsuken]

824487
Hahaha, I know that feeling.

824506
Wow, I feel almost honored now that I have official been a part of a fic.