• Member Since 5th Dec, 2011
  • offline last seen Mar 13th, 2019



You Won’t Understand This… thus the challenge of understanding is presented to you: the reader. Underneath the abstract style is a very concrete plot that the keen eye will be able to detect. But the story is only a piece of this work. In order to fully enjoy this composition, you have to toss out everything you know about conventional fanfiction and read it with an open mind. Only then will you be able to experience the story to its fullest extent.

AN: You get only three hints before starting. 1. You will be diving into the consciousness of Twilight Sparkle. 2. This is my tribute to William Faulkner’s style. 3. Think of this as a puzzle.

But most importantly, have fun! :)

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 29 )

Howdy Y'all! :ajsmug:

I hope you liked my story. Pretty unique piece of work.
After completion, you may find it more fun to discuss it in the comments and see what others have to say about it. :derpytongue2:

Also, if you REALLY loved my story, then it would make my day if you shared it with your friends. Fun is more fun with other fun people... as they say... they don't really say that, but WHATEVER! :pinkiehappy: I don't want to come off as begging for people to read this, but I worked long and hard on it. I'm hoping that if you loved it, you'd want others to love it too! ...that is... if that's okay with you :fluttershysad:

Anyway, conceptualize away in the comments to see what others thought of the story too!

Remember, I love you. Don't forget that! :twilightsmile:


ya i have no fucking idea either it is a pilgrims progress version of MLP or it is a poetic retelling of each lesson learned by Twilight sparkle


For a second, I thought you were going to pull out the whole "Wizard of Oz" ending, but you didn't I guess. I liked the concept and it wasn't that odd of a style. Just a first person Twilight Sparkle fic... Where she is dead.... And meets a gargoyle angel thing. I like the story for the fact that Twilight might be able to go back, and probably did seeing as how Damian said she could, but she had always wanted to go back, so if her just wanting to go back sends her back, then shouldn't she have just gone back already? Also, I would have liked an explanation to how she died, but the story still worked. Nice job. You got a thumbs up from me. :pinkiehappy::heart::pinkiehappy:

Excellent Fic! I like the style of writing :rainbowkiss:
But I don't get why we shouldn't understand it when the ending actually clarifies the whole story... I think.

Oh you bast-!

Argh, I knew that ending was coming the minute I read about the ferryman!:flutterrage:

Ah well, I really enjoyed this story, you actually got me to tear up during her memory flashback, I actually think this is the first story I've ever gave a thumbs up so congrats?

I really hope she gets home you've been through too much Twilight.:pinkiesad2:

So... you took the plot of Limbo, added insanity induced hallucinations caused by a lying drake
spirit that took her through the Limbo and Bioshock universes and all that was a test to determine
who has a pure heart so they can tell who should be allowed to go into the positive
afterlife and the negative afterlife.

All of this happened in a full circle relating to her dying in a cave Rarity led them to as an attempt
to rekindle dying companionship between the 7 of them; or 6 if you prefer.

Twilight Sparkle was not ready to die and returned, the future is to be decided by the
reader whether or not everything turns out okay.

What was it like crawling out of the underground lake?

How did their other friends react.

Did Twilight remember any of this?

Will she still be insane when she returns, her mind being effected by the knowledge of the afterlife?

Will their friendship remain after Twilight going through such a stressful experience? Rarity and her?

Questions aside, what about the ideas this story places down? After crossing the planes from reality into the afterlife through the means of death is the route to Nirvana, Enlightenment and endless happiness determined by the strength of ones heart and mind?

Dose one have to crawl from the pits of Hell relaying their dying memories through an insanity induced stupor when they pass on? Do the evil souls fall to the hand of the deceiving spirit or are they forced to wander through the darkness for the rest of eternity?

The extra tunnels next to the staircase possible choices one can take to live again? Re-incarnation as one of the animals of the land or as another species that is linked to the original plane of your existence through means that you may never know?

So many more questions and theories and so many possible answers... This is truly a work of art. Mind pending literature that only one with a strong mind can have the ability to conjure.

I give this a thumbs up. If I could do more I would but sadly my actions are bound by petty limitations such as only one like button.

EDIT: There is a KUMON : Academic Enrichment advertisement at the bottom of this page... its vague but the connections is silly.

505720 Correct me if im wrong but were these stories referred in there:
“20,000 Leagues Under the Sea"
"Evil Dead"
"Harry Potter"
"The Wizard of Oz"

Also this story... im not entirely sure how to describe it, but it was a trip that I enjoyed and would love to re-read when given the chance.

PS. Im guessing there were other reference there I either missed, didn't know, or couldn't remember.

Is it not obvious?

The reason she could not go back was simply because she was being fooled. She was being led to believe things
she didn't want as what she wanted. She was unfocused and couldn't find the means of wanting to return
because she was occupied with the challenges set before her.

She died by hitting the water in that cave. Think about this, hitting water with the force built up by free falling for 10 seconds.
Count for ten seconds and go through the task of calculating the increase of speed and the force made from that speed that was built over time when free falling. Ouch, she probably broke something, or somethings.

506825 Pretty good. You understood most of the spiritual aspect of it, but there is more to it. Everything is connected :ajsmug:

Actually, I shouldn't be one to tell you what you got from it. It was meant for the reader to decide what is going on. Though I had an idea in my mind while writing this, that idea is but one possibility. Thanks for reading and loving it.

506853 Haha, yeah most of those stories are in there. Not sure what Evil Dead is, so I probably didn't intentionally put that in there :ajsmug:

My fuck container has run out, I need to go buy some more fucks to give. Damn thing only
gets 4 fucks to the comment.

Im not in the mood the rattle my brain analyzing this story. Although I am glad I was able to get
the spiritual side down while not being superstitious or religious in any way.

I guess its just I have keen knowledge on them I just don't believe in them?

Hmm... That was an interesting schema, tying together a memory, a walk of death, a psychological journey, the battle of good and evil in one's heart... there are so many layers here.
Good work! :yay:

.... thumbs up. period.

I definitely was reminded of quite a few things in this. The ending seemed to wrap up everything nicely. I'm still wondering your exact thoughts on this, but I enjoyed reading Twilight's insanity come to life.

Firstly, sorry that it took me a few days to get round to reading this -- it was a super busy weekend, and I've been using today to catch up on all my pony stuff. So many fics, so little time!

Secondly, I'm sooo glad you decided to post this :pinkiehappy:. Although that said, if I had to be incredibly honest, I can see why EQD responded the way they did: this definitely strikes me as a love-it-or-hate-it kind sort of story... but not that there's anything wrong with that of course, because stuff like this helps keep fanfiction feel fresh, and experimenting helps you grow as a writer. I made some asinine comment on EQD earlier about how the most important thing in a fic is how well written it is, but I half take that back -- I would've missed out on some super interesting stuff over the years if that's the only school of thought I lived by. I think it's obvious right from the very start that a lot of love went into writing this. You should be very proud of yourself. :pinkiesmile:

One of the things I like most about it is how you really have to think hard about what's being said -- there is a storyline to it (I picked up on the Limbo and Bioshock references too), but the way it's written forces you to really pay attention to it; it's not simply something you can skim through.

I also loved the sense of mysticism and wonder you created, especially at the end with the river and the ferryman and everything... although I'll also admit that I'm a huuuge sucker for things like that (seriously, sticking in a goddess or something into a story is a good way to make me love it). Here, I think you nailed that stuff -- and with humour too, with Star Swirl -- and I'd love to see what you could come up with in that sort of vain in a more conventional fanfic. Could be a winner :raritywink:

'I’m dead.
I’m dead I’m dead I’m dead I’m dead I died I’m dead.'

If that's a very obscure Finding Nemo reference then you've just made my night! :yay:

525069 I might post something like my personal take on the story. Really everything is up to the reader though. Thanks for enjoying it :twilightsmile:

511046 Thanks!

525553 Haha, you got that right! There are a few movie references I put in there. I might post a little Author's Note epilogue in a few days with a list of allusions and links and all that jazz.

I'm so glad you enjoyed it! I'm thinking about submitting it into EqD again, since they seem to be approving everything nowadays. I have a pretty valid argument going on in my head about how it's up to the reader's interpretation, and how I don't care if it gets star bombed to oblivion, I just want people to deviate from the conventional and think for a few minutes. :rainbowwild:

Oh well. We'll see. It makes me so happy that so many people loved it though. It gives me confidence for the future. :twilightsmile:

This was a wonderful story and I'm very glad I took the time to read it! I like how the "Abandon all hope, ye who enter here" reference pretty much sets the tone for all of her interactions with Damian. The other references were also well done and somehow justified in the context of the story, which I thought was pretty rad.

526935 It took forever to make everything click, but in the end, I think I did a solid job :raritywink:

526216 That'd be quite fun to see. I spotted a fair few, but I'm sure that there's a ton that I ended up missing :derpyderp2:

And if you're submitting to EQD again, then I wish you the best of luck! Although please don't get discouraged if you end up getting the same response as before -- this is one of the most unusual pony fictions I've read in the sense that as much as I love it, neither can I see EQD being in a rush to publish it... which is to say nothing of it's quality of course! I just mean... if it does get shot down again, then remember that there are ponies out there who are extremely thankful that you wrote this and shared it with us. I caught myself thinking about it again earlier today, so I can safely say it's not something that simply slips out of your head :ajsmug:

It gives me confidence for the future.

I'm very glad to see you write that after that blog post of yours :twilightsmile:

531045 Well, I was getting discouraged with all the rejection I was recieving, but it's good to see some people out there who enjoy what I write. It makes it all worth while, ya know :raritywink: And you were thinking about it earlier? Whoa! :rainbowderp: That just made my day right there :moustache:

This is BRILLIANT!!!:moustache:

its so mysterious, at first I thought she was dreaming and was having a nightmare. At least I got the latter half right.

Had my suspicions about the dragon when he started growing.

Bipedal creature? :lyraface: (we need a lyra emoticon)

They say a persons brain can continues to work for around 10 minutes after you die( if its longer than this you are either not going to live or will come out with brain damage), perhaps she drowned and Rarity revived her?

This is like pure poetry, rather dark poetry, but poetry none the less.

5 pinkies out of 5

707973 Hmmm... 10 minutes after you die huh? That's something a story could be written about :ajsmug:

Dear god.

This was just-

Just amazing.
I actually almost cried a little, not because it was sad, but because it's just so...
So well written, and thought out, and...

932444 Haha, thanks. What'd you like about it?

932556 The style, the little references, the way it all tied together. Just pure genius, man.

932619 Yep yep, there's so many references in there. At first I was trying to make a game about finding allusions, but then it just turned into a story :ajsmug:

I haven't read the other comments yet to figure out whether I understood that or not, but it felt pretty straightforward to me. At first I figured it was simply a Nightmare but with the first mention of an indeterminate but seemingly long passage of time I assumed it was exactly what SStB stated at the end dialogue.

I have some experience with mediumship and it felt like a very very veritable read, except for the effects on forgetting and remembering about magic. That was quite commendable!

I'll check the comments later and do some wild second-guessing sometime else ;)

1390568 Yeah, I dunno. As i remember, i started it out as a literary game but it ended up morphing into something bigger.

Elements from the Cthulhu Mythos, The Omen, The BIBLE, The Wonderful Wizard of Oz....

Wow. I like it.

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