• Member Since 24th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen 16 hours ago

Dott


:-)

T

Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash reflect on their families, futures, and current home situations in Cloudsdale. Unbeknownst to them, they make a life-altering decision that indirectly influences the safety of Equestria.

This oneshot ties into canon, but is set in the past.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 9 )

This is nice
But it's really short
Try for a bit longer next story and you should be fantastic

5673066 Thank you for the feedback! Yeah, I know it's short, I just felt I would ruin it if I added anything more. But I'm glad you liked it!

An interesting little backstory. I liked it a lot.

Not a bad little one-shot...but

"No, it's not alright! God, I knew this was a bad idea!" Rainbow Dash covered her face with her hooves and screamed in frustration. "I really freaking hate them sometimes! I can't deal with them!"

Why is Rainbow Dash using "God", not "Celestia", as is canonical?

5674556 That's a good point. I'll go edit that :twilightblush:

really nice story :twilightsmile:

Good story, but I wish it was longer.

CCC
CCC #8 · Mar 8th, 2015 · · ·

Hmmm. A bit short.

And, though their conversation at the start is good, after that ~~~ you're only telling us what happened, you're not showing us what happened. Telling tends to leave your story weaker than showing, and should really be avoided where possible...

5713030 Thanks for the feedback! I feel like I could come back and make this better, now that I know exactly what their childhoods were like. This was the first piece of fanfiction I ever wrote for MLP, and I may expand on it in the future, but I'm not sure yet. It would take quite a bit of time, but I think it'd be worth it.

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