• Member Since 2nd Mar, 2012
  • offline last seen January 17th

Merc the Jerk


Merc's fic guide: by Bookplayer: Is there kicking and/or punching? [Yes/No] Have you considered adding kicking and/or punching? [Yes/No] Have you considered adding more kicking and/or punching?

T

When Rarity is at the end of her rope in need of an emerald to finish an order, Jack comes through with the only one to be had in the town or surrounding countryside. But Rarity recognizes it; a gift she gave Jack long ago, when they were schoolgirls and Rarity was unable to decide what her feelings for Jack were. Knowing that the farmer kept it all these years makes her reconsider her stance on the rough cowgirl.

Original idea I shamelessly lifted from Bookplayer, go and give her some love! Prereading thanks goes to Bookplayer and XL9. Editing done by Jake the Ginger.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 13 )

Damn son, this be fine as hell. :rainbowdetermined2:

(But seriously, schoolkid RariJack crushing is adorable.)

You are the Humanized RariJack author

Lovely.

This was a bright spot in my day when I really needed one. Thank you!

5277700
Thanks! Glad you liked!

5278816
To be fair, there ain't much competition. People tend to write either humanized or RariJack, very few together.

5279950
Your comment was a bright spot for my day! Thank you!

Haaaa, a new Rarijack story from Merc the Jerk.... How could I have missed it when you uploaded it yesterday?

Anyway, as usual you deliver an awesome story with spot-on characterization with plenty of laughs and d'awwws!

img.pandawhale.com/post-36867-good-job-gif-Hancock-Will-Smit-8fLm.gif

I loved this! Especially when they were kids. Pinkie thinking she could fly, Big Mac playing board games, it was a fun and cute read. And the tender moments were really sweet. Great job!

The first story I read from you was Fools Gold and now because of your so damn good writing style I love reading your one shots and before that I never considered reading RariJack, but now the pair doesn't bother me in your one shots. I really love your kind of humor and the Dash part is simply hilarious :rainbowlaugh: Thanks for that and I can not wait to read more of the Heistverse.
Have a nice day. :twilightsmile:

5280345 True, but you're also very freakin good at it. I like your Rares and AJ ussually.

It was... well-written, but we've all come to expect that of you, naturally.

But actually, I didn't really like it.

Rarity had a ridiculous vocabulary for a forth grader. Even by Rarity standards. It kinda ruined the childhood flashback for me. But it's fine, I guess. I know kids are particularly hard to write.

Dash was hilarious, but just a tad too crude, on the verge of forced.

Other than that the mood just seemed off, and... It never really settled down for me. Maybe it was the pacing. I don't know, but something felt off about it.

Like how Jack bursts into Rarity's house, gives her the gem, a smile, and a one-liner, and then just leaves, and rarity just shrugs and cleans up the mud afterwards... That's when the story started sliding for me. It was so forced feeling, so random.

I'm not gonna thumb up or down cause I don't want to be that guy that gives you one of your first down votes, and I do respect you greatly as a writer and a person, but this story was not your best.

5280446
Thanks a ton, bud!

5280755
Glad you liked it!

5281114
Not to toot my own horn, but while you're waiting for the next chapter in Heistverse, you should consider reading The Laughing Shadow. It's my baby on the site, and hands-down the fic I put the most blood sweat and tears into, and I think if you like Heistverse, you'll like this.

5281411
Hey man, been a bit since I heard from you. What's good? Anyway, I agree with a few things you said and disagree with others.

Rarity had a ridiculous vocabulary for a forth grader. Even by Rarity standards.

I disagree to an extent, and I might just concede that I wasn't able to address it as well as I should of (which sucks, since I tried to make it a fairly believable world), i was trying to suggest that in canon, Sweetie Belle is considered a dictionary, and wanted to showcase that she got that from her sister, hinted at in this story by saying things like Rarity's overreactions run in the family as well, and by a few cyclic word-buildings that I tried to showcase through other means. I might of just blew it there, but that's life. Can't always get everything you wanna say out, ya know?

I know kids are particularly hard to write.

It's why Bloom in TLS had like three lines tops. :ajsmug:

Dash was hilarious, but just a tad too crude, on the verge of forced.

I'm glad she was funny, but I disagree on being overcrude. If anything, I'd consider her less vulgar than Fool's Gold Dash.

Like how Jack bursts into Rarity's house, gives her the gem, a smile, and a one-liner, and then just leaves, and rarity just shrugs and cleans up the mud afterwards... That's when the story started sliding for me. It was so forced feeling, so random.

I'll concede this point, yeah. It's something I should of went back and fixed but didn't think about. To make a long story short: Bookplayer had originally got about a page and a half wrote on the story, and I barely touched or added on to parts she had made a rough draft on. I thought at the time it'd be best to leave her overall vision of it untouched. In retrospect, I should of added more, as her style and my own clash pretty hard at times.

I'm not gonna thumb up or down cause I don't want to be that guy that gives you one of your first down votes, and I do respect you greatly as a writer and a person, but this story was not your best.

Well, you could of downvoted, bud. I wouldn't of minded. There's not an author alive that can please all his fans every time he puts ink down on paper, ya know? I don't tend to do SoL fics, like, ever, so maybe that's where you ran into pacing issues. However, I did intend to take the story in a slower-paced approach, hence the title and the overall theme of the piece. Either way, if you weren't a fan of this one, hang tight. I'll be hitting more traditional (at least for me) multichaptered stories soon, and I hope you'll enjoy those.

Nice story, even can place its time setting around the 90s i think then the jump to recent times when rare gets her cellphone hehe, quite romantic and very different of what im used to read(human ponies that is), interesting enough to keept me reading, other than the makeshift names on human ponies wich i believe some are good like dash's name, i just picture dash having that overgirlish name of ellizabeth, haha...just lovely but to naming twilight as Twila or Applebloom as Alice, those sound odd but again they're secondary characters, in any case great work!!!. :twilightsmile:

So glad I stalk you ^_^ so much fluff . I love it

Mane Medic

Best part of the story(If I can look at anything besides Applejack):

β€œShe's got an Apple appetite.” He fixed up two more sandwiches, then put all three of them in an off-pink colored box, alongside two bags of chips. Pausing, the faintest smile came to his stoic face. β€œAn... Appletite.”

:eeyup:



5281411

It's opinions like these that help talented writers improve.

Login or register to comment