• Member Since 16th Jan, 2013
  • offline last seen Last Tuesday

Lord Seth


Dying is easy. Comedy is hard.

T

Alternate universe story where Sunset Shimmer, Trixie, Flim & Flam, Suri Polomare, Lightning Dust, and Gilda are the main characters. What could possibly go wrong? A lot, in fact.

After an adventure to find the Elements of Irony to defeat Nightmare Moon, Sunset finds herself stuck living in Ponyville. Absurd comedy awaits as she and her friends acquaintances have equally absurd misadventures where no one seems to learn anything.

Chapters (44)
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Comments ( 207 )

Fun read. Silly and crazy. Maybe a little rushed, but still pretty good.

All of this was humorous. If I was to quote the parts that were good it would span at least three pages. Please make more.

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Thanks for the comments; it's great to know people are entertained! Expect another chapter up before this week is over.

I want to write a comment on how good this is, but words escape me, probably because this is so good.

Decorations were next on the itinerary, so she entered the town hall. Which, she had to admit, was decorated fairly well. In the middle of the area was a pink-coated earth pony with violet hair, who was adjusting the decorations.
“Well, things seem fine here,” muttered Sunset to herself. “I guess this time I can actually avoid contact by–“
In what appeared to be a running gag of some sort, Sunset found herself cut off yet again by the unicorn abruptly stopping what she was doing and zooming straight up to her with almost uncanny speed.

So which one is it now?

I can't help but notice that Trixie completely vanishes after Gilda frames Sunset for the rocket attack, since the narrative mentions her neither burglaring the cave nor staying behind with LD. So I'm assuming she wisely decided to bail in the confusion. Good girl.

Looks like Discord got parole.

More like discord broke free without real harmony to contain him.

Are the elements of irony actually going to grow and learn and become worthy of it?
I can take either way.

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Won't spoil anything, but a few chapters from now we'll get some clarifying information on Discord's appearance here.

As for whether they'll grow and learn eventually... well, we'll see on that. The answer really boils down to "whatever I think serves the comedy best." Don't expect it to happen for a while, though!

And so the Ironic Six (no connection to the Bionic Six) showed that they had more common sense than the Canon Six. Don't look a gift horse in the mouth. (Although in Equestria, that sort of thing probably constitutes harassment anyway.)

That ending was awesomely funny.

The ending was good, but for the most part the jokes are starting to get stale since it's basically the same jokes since the first chapter.

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Thanks!

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A bit sad to hear that. Could you clarify a little on exactly which jokes you think are getting stale? I am already aware that the "no one can understand Sombra" one is a bit repetitive and do have some plans to try to curb that.

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A bit sad to hear that. Could you clarify a little on exactly which jokes you think are getting stale? I am already aware that the "no one can understand Sombra" one is a bit repetitive and do have some plans to try to curb that.

Actually that one's still mostly funny because you are never know which one he means and each time he says something different, also sombra gets used a lot less so his joke being one note is fine.

It's more that each of the main characters are basically late season pinkie pie, they have one character trait that you whack over and over to spew out jokes, even if you just want to do jokes each character needs more than one humorous trait to hit so as not to repeat the same jokes over and over and over again.
The jokes are rarely contextual to the chapter plot as well.

“Who cares? asked Lightning Dust. “Just tell us why we have to be here.”

Missing quotation marks after 'who cares?'

That's all i got, good job.

heheh Discord treating them exactly like the main six :rainbowlaugh:

That’s going against your Loyalty element and helps me win!”

“Wait. Wouldn’t going to Cloudsdale show my loyalty to Cloudsdale, thereby being a demonstration of loyalty?”

No that would be duty or obligation, as it is to home or family. Not loyalty, as loyalty represented by harmony is about commitment that is to say it is freely given without expectation of it.
Rainbow Dash abandoned her family and home for flutter shy, that's why she's loyalty.

“Wait a minute!” said Trixie. “I have some questions! If you’re so super powerful, why did you bother with all of this stuff in the maze? Why give us any hints at all? Heck, if the Elements are all you fear, why not just put them someplace we’d never find them and give us no hint? And then take away our powers just to be sure? There’s just so many things you could have done to easily achieve victory, and yet you chose this roundabout way. You’re not as dumb as Nightmare Moon, but it still kinda seems like your evil plots aren’t that smart. I can tell you, if my life was a film, the audience would be really angry about your constant idiocy.”

He's the spirit of chaos, in the philosophical sense, he enjoys messing with people, and he is incapable of killing, permanently incapacitating or maiming, because of the nature of his powers. and indeed shows incredible moral indignation at that thought of those things being done to anyone "BECAUSE I DON'T TURN PONIES INTO STONE!"


Anyways chapter wasn't funny, like at all.
Discord used the exact same tricks as the main six, and they ignored them, Incredibly predictable after the first one. And humor demands the unpredictable, also discord used the tricks he did because of how well he knew the main six where as these didn't play off your characters at all.

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Well, thanks for the comment, even if you didn't like the chapter as much as others did. But to respond to some points:

No that would be duty or obligation, as it is to home or family. Not loyalty, as loyalty represented by harmony is about commitment that is to say it is freely given without expectation of it.

I feel the same claims about "duty or obligation" can be counted for friends as much as family. This seems a trivial distinction at best.

Rainbow Dash abandoned her family and home for flutter shy, that's why she's loyalty.

When did this ever happen? Is this in reference to her moving to Ponyville? Ignoring the fact that I don't see the simple act of moving as abandoning one's family/home to begin with, claiming she moved to Ponyville "for Fluttershy" is, as far as I remember (I could be wrong), not ever been stated by the series and is pure speculation.

He's the spirit of chaos, in the philosophical sense, he enjoys messing with people,

This is the usual justification for why he didn't simply throw away the Elements where no one could find them; he wanted to keep screwing around with them. I think it's a reasonable enough explanation, but that doesn't mean it wasn't, from the perspective of simply wanting to win by preventing the Elements of Harmony from ever defeating him, not a particularly smart plan.

and he is incapable of killing, permanently incapacitating or maiming, because of the nature of his powers.

While an interesting idea on the limits of Discord's power that would explain some things, this is, as far as I can tell, just speculation.

and indeed shows incredible moral indignation at that thought of those things being done to anyone "BECAUSE I DON'T TURN PONIES INTO STONE!"

The "moral indignation" was likely because he was the one getting punished. People tend to not like when they get punished, whether deserved or not.

Regardless, I think you're overanalyzing this bit too much. I did recognize in this case that there were some potential explanations for Discord’s actions (and even provided a possible explanation soon afterwards), but the main point of Trixie's complaining was really just to get Discord irritated and set up the penalty box bit.

Anyways chapter wasn't funny, like at all.

Well, like before, I’m sorry to hear you didn't enjoy it. Personally, this was one of my favorite chapters of the story.

Discord used the exact same tricks as the main six, and they ignored them, Incredibly predictable after the first one. And humor demands the unpredictable,

Not really any less predictable than the original episode, which did just boil down to "Discord tempts and corrupts them one after another" (Fluttershy was the only break from the norm in that he has to give up and brainwash her). And I actually did try to take some steps to avoid repetition. Only Gilda and Lightning Dust really had the joke of Discord's tricks technically working but not turning them gray because it didn't actually change them. Flim & Flam's portion and Suri's portion, on the other hand, were them not succumbing to the temptation to begin with. For example, Suri doesn't grab the diamond and then, because she's already greedy, remain "un-grayed"; she recognizes it's just a fake and thus skips over the whole thing. Flim and Flam actually show more cunning than Applejack in their question (as they point out, asking whether they succeed or not in the quest is actually of no real help; even if the question needs to be selfless, asking how to succeed would make more sense), and thus it never gets the opportunity to try to corrupt them.

So sure, in all of these cases Discord’s attempts fail, but they don’t all fail in the same way. While I concede there is some repetition in Gilda and Lightning Dust's portions, I do think I varied things up enough to avoid repetition otherwise.

also discord used the tricks he did because of how well he knew the main six where as these didn't play off your characters at all.

I recognized this, which is why I explicitly pointed out Discord was working on the basis of incorrect information when it was shown he thought the Elements were the Elements of Harmony.

I suppose he could have, once he realized his goof, tried to do the opposite and "corrupt" them into becoming nice, but as I indicated back in "Suited for Failure," he would've just found that boring.

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I feel the same claims about "duty or obligation" can be counted for friends as much as family. This seems a trivial distinction at best.

It's an extremely important distinction that drives a lot of the underlying debates in society. Duty/Obligation vs. Commitment, but that's not really the topic at hand.

claiming she moved to Ponyville "for Fluttershy" is, as far as I remember (I could be wrong), not ever been stated by the series and is pure speculation.

Things don't need to be stated outright to not be made clear as day.
She's the element of loyalty, gets her cutie mark standing up for someone, and leaves her home to live near them? Why do you need something spelled out?

While an interesting idea on the limits of Discord's power that would explain some things, this is, as far as I can tell, just speculation.

The "moral indignation" was likely because he was the one getting punished. People tend to not like when they get punished, whether deserved or not.

Magic, all magic, is the soul manifest. This includes discords magic.
The tone discord used was one of righteous indignation, That he felt himself morally superior to the princesses because he didn't "Turn ponies into stone" it's a huge statement about discords character even pre-reformation that he felt that turning ponies/people to stone is crossing a moral line that shouldn't be crossed, not because it was done to him, but because it was done at all.

I recognized this, which is why I explicitly pointed out Discord was working on the basis of incorrect information when it was shown he thought the Elements were the Elements of Harmony.

Discord was aware the entire time he was trapped though, hence why he knew the canon mane six perfectly.

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It's an extremely important distinction that drives a lot of the underlying debates in society. Duty/Obligation vs. Commitment, but that's not really the topic at hand.

Except I still don’t see any real distinction in this case. Going off to try to save Cloudsdale from destruction does in fact show loyalty to it. You’ve claimed this is somehow different because loyalty to home/family is different than loyalty to friends, but this seems invented. Whatever choice Rainbow Dash made in the episode is showing loyalty to something and lack of loyalty to something else. As indicated in this story, one could argue that one or the other demanded greater loyalty, but that's really difficult to quantify. It would’ve made a lot more sense as a betrayal of loyalty if Discord had tempted Rainbow Dash with something she personally wanted, like maybe entry into the Wonderbolts.

Things don't need to be stated outright to not be made clear as day.
She's the element of loyalty, gets her cutie mark standing up for someone,

Actually, she got her cutie mark for winning a race via the sonic rainboom. If she got it for standing up to someone, she would’ve gotten it immediately after defending Fluttershy.

and leaves her home to live near them? Why do you need something spelled out?

Because this is speculation on your part, yet you are treating it as fact. Is it possible she moved because Fluttershy moved to Ponyville? Yes, but it’s just as possible that was just incidental and it was to get the job at the Ponyville weather team or something else. You’re treating your assumptions/speculation as established fact.

At any rate, I think you’re reading too much into a quick one-off gag.

Discord was aware the entire time he was trapped though, hence why he knew the canon mane six perfectly.

Actually, I took it as him just picking up on things really quickly once he was free. Regardless, that’s tangential. The point is that while that may have been true—whichever interpretation you take for how he knew—that’s just in the original series. But his faulty knowledge indicates that that does not seem to be the case here.

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Except I still don’t see any real distinction in this case. Going off to try to save Cloudsdale from destruction does in fact show loyalty to it. You’ve claimed this is somehow different because loyalty to home/family is different than loyalty to friends, but this seems invented.

As i said the difference between duties/obligations and commitments would take waaaaay more space and isn't the topic at hand.
But it's the reason applejack isn't the element of loyalty.

Whatever choice Rainbow Dash made in the episode is showing loyalty to something and lack of loyalty to something else.

To discordify them, he had to make them betray their element.(except fluttershy)
Rainbow dash betrayed loyalty, not picking between two concepts of loyalty, betrayed loyalty. Picking between two loyalties would be just that. She didn't, she betrayed loyalty.
That's text, she stopped being loyal by choosing cloudsdale over her friends. Just like applejack became a liar by not accepting the truth.

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To discordify them, he had to make them betray their element.(except fluttershy)
Rainbow dash betrayed loyalty, not picking between two concepts of loyalty, betrayed loyalty. Picking between two loyalties would be just that. She didn't, she betrayed loyalty.
That's text, she stopped being loyal by choosing cloudsdale over her friends.  Just like applejack became a liar by not accepting the truth.

I think you misunderstand me. Obviously, that was what happened; this was regarded as a betrayal of loyalty and thus it corrupted her. My problem is that it doesn't make much sense to me that that counts as a betrayal of loyalty, because if she had decided "screw Cloudsdale" that seems like a real betrayal of loyalty as well.

Now, as I indicated in my story, there are some ways to argue one thing deserves more loyalty in a given situation. For example, her friends were in DEFINITE danger from Discord, whereas all she has to go on in regards to Cloudsdale is Discord granting a vision, which is hardly convincing when one considers Discord's not trustworthy to begin with (then again, their quest to find the Elements of Harmony was based on information given by Discord, so...). That would make it certain danger versus possible danger. Additionally, if they don't stop Discord, then Cloudsdale (along with the rest of Equestria) is screwed anyway, so sticking around to try to work for the more important goal (saving Equestria versus saving Cloudsdale) makes sense. One could argue that under the circumstances, staying loyal to her friends would therefore be more important than loyalty to Cloudsdale, making the latter choice the breaking of loyalty because that's the more important loyalty in the situation.

But again, the whole point was just to be a little quick joke, not something to put as much thought into as we seem to be.

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My problem is that it doesn't make much sense to me that that counts as a betrayal of loyalty, because if she had decided "screw Cloudsdale" that seems like a real betrayal of loyalty as well.

She long ago chose "Screw Cloudsdale" she left.
Commitments are entered into freely, and can be left behind freely as well.(griffon the brush off is an actual choice of commitments.)
Duties/Obligations are socially expected or mandated of you, family, country, church, any social contract that binds you is a duty or obligation.

The element of loyalty refers only to the commitments(you know like friendship), and is why applejack isn't. Given a choice between obligation or commitment she'd always choose an obligation.

But again, the whole point was just to be a little quick joke, not something to put as much thought into as we seem to be.

It's one of those defining things that shows what loyalty means in the show, set up pretty heavily throughout the episode so people would realize she was indeed betraying her element.
She talks on multiple occasions about her loyalty to the princess and her friends through the episode, explicitly mentions how cloudsdale could use her, but she won't leave ponyville hanging where her friends live.

I thought she was going to write a long letter on all what happened to her today as the friendship report.

Well this one was short.

:rainbowhuh::rainbowderp::rainbowlaugh: That is one of the cleverest twist puns I have seen. Great humorous way to end the chapter.

I did not see that coming
Good job
Really like sunset mantra life is pain

Poor Luna, Poor Trixie, Sunset seems to be too harsh.:fluttershysad:

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Thanks! I came up with that kind of at random, and thought it was so funny I had to include it somehow.

Dressed for Failure might have been a better title, and has the added bonus of being the original running title of the episode - Dress for Failure.

Same jokes, no real surprises.

Wow, great chapter!
I actually prefer this version of the MLP series.
Maybe Hasbro should hire you.
:rainbowlaugh:

Yeah, I just marathoned this story.

I have to say, you did a great job on rewriting the episodes! :twilightsmile: There were some bits that felt rushed, and you might want to change the formatting on the "[...] later..." lines just to make reading a little more comfortable, but the quality of the jokes made up for both. :rainbowkiss:

I was actually expecting something along the lines bunnies doing better than expected. Rest in peace to all the guards who suffered greatly at the cute fuzzy paws of (most likely) their fierce and great leader: Angel. :fluttercry:

And it gets better and better :pinkiehappy:

This one was a bit disorganized, but I really like what you did with Twilight being a wandering blood knight.

Also, couldn't unicorns operate surface-to-air missile launchers? Then again, said unicorns may have left that out of the regulations on purpose - it's always good to have a kinetic cannon as backup for the magical one.

Very interesting character angle for Gilda.

This one was really funny. I love your deconstructions.

The ghosts complaining about their payment was a bit much, but the story itself was quite good.

Genius ideas! My favorite are the safes

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Heh, I wish I could take full credit for that one, but that gag was totally taken from the Garfield and Friends episode "Big Bad Buddy Bird."

Thanks for all the comments, by the way. Glad to know you liked the story!

Dear King Sombra,
In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes.
Sincerely,
Sunset Shimmer

Best letter yet.

Ok, that bit about reprogramming totally caught me by surprise. Well done.

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