The story of the Wonderbolts is told, from the start of them being little fillies and little colts, all the way to where they are now... But do they really want all the fame and glory they did as kids? Is it all it was said to be? Find out here.
PrinceWhateverer (Song creator) DID give me the backstory, and he DID tell me to use this in the fiction. He doesn't read fan fics, but I do talk to him (Lucky me!) and he's given me what the idea of it was. He didn't put it in the description, and this is what came out of his idea.
Backstory he gave me: "okay, so basically, they were homeless but were good fliers, but no-one liked them because they were homeless, so they went to celestia, who accepted them, but genetically modified them so they'd be even better and after getting the fame, they realise how much it sucks in reality and stuff.. "
This is certainly going to be interesting, a story on the 'Bolts background, and with that summary -- I am certainly very interested.
Advise: Have every quotation cushioned by a line break both before and after it, it makes it easier to read on a computer screen. Otherwise, well formatted.
I will be watching this
This seems like a very cool story, except, that if there is anything more with Celestia, maybe you should make her seem like royalty instead of another awesome pony.
Added to my RiL list. I love anything and everything Spitfire.
Needs a bit of polishing, but a great story so far with an interesting concept to boot. Keep 'em coming!
Thanks for reviews! ^_^ I tried doing better then my September fan fic.
ending
To be continued
not Too
besides that i see no errors
then again i dont look for em anyway lol
great chap
MUST KNOW WHAT CELESTIA IS GOING TO SAY
515752 Heh, I do that on purpose. I love doing cliffhangers! Well, depends on the story anyhow, I could say it here, but I wont. That'll come later today, maybe tomorrow, not sure when. All I know, is i'll try to get one chapter up every day!
I'M MOTHERFUDGING SLAGAR THE CRUEL!
LORD OF CAPS LOCKS!
SORROW OF WATERSHIP DOWN!
KING OF TOURS!
EATER OF FRIED ICECREAM AND ARCH DUKE OF SOME KNOWN COUNTRY IN AFRICA!
AND I CLAIM...
1.bp.blogspot.com/-_TkbcIBMy1Y/T2Ioh3r-T_I/AAAAAAAABGA/BAJcgUhFm7c/s1600/firstpost.jpg
546703 Not first post. You're kinda late there. You can claim the ninth though!
548244
claimed first for chapter 4
checkmate
556146 Ah. I see. Ok then! ^^
I think it's great, and I like the song too! It just has a few (few, let me remind you :)!) grammar errors, as I agree with DJ that it needs polishing, and maybe an interesting ending to the chapter, but I love the story idea anyway! Look forward to the rest of it!
I like this story so far, but now I wanna review this thingy above my text. Firstly 'me and him' could be corrected to 'Firestreak and I'. Secondly the thing is 'or sleep together we have our own rooms'. I think you should add a little break called a comma: , to it to make it sound less rushed.
Okay, example fixed: "Well, then yes, if he wants to that is," Blaze said [maybe add a little adjective here to make it a little more...], "But if he doesn't, I won't. Firestreak and I do a lot of things together. Only things we don't do are showering together and sleeping together...we have our own rooms."
Sorry if I offended you, though, but try to find a proofreader please? It's an extremely good story that just needs a little tweaking!!
1670731 I thank you for giving me tips! I really want this to be the best it can be! And, sorry about this being well...dead. I am going to re-read it tomorrow, and pick up where I left off. I kinda forgot.
1778831 Heh, I know that feeling! :) Good job on this, by the way, it totally deserves more likes!