Who Moved My Apples
Who Moved My Apples
by Haze-man
Proofreader Invizibilit3
The pigs needed to be slaughtered.
Applejack was up before the sun. It was time to do the dirty work of a farmer. Picking apples and working in the soil wasn’t dirty to her, it was an honest day's work. No, today there was work to do that was seriously dirty.
There were many animals on the farm, sheep for wool and cows for milk, but they were all intelligent, talking creatures. They would never be cooked up for food. Pigs were only capable of wallowing in the mud. Applejack raised them for cash to help the farm. They were sold once a year to a meat packing company in Griffontopolous. Today was the day they get shipped off in a truck to be turned into meat. It was the most awkward part of the job for a herbivore. Milking cows with your teeth was also awkward, but that’s a story for another time.
Just to think that just three months ago, they were at the royal wedding of Princess Cadence, and she was a royal bridlemaid. Applejack was dancing with Prince Blueblood. They got along surprisingly well. She was doing things she never thought she’d do. Especially after the bachelorette party.
Applejack met the truck driver, a griffon named Gilda. She seemed familiar for some reason. The truck driver began shooing the pigs into the back of the truck. Trucks were not uncommon in Equestria. They were only used for big jobs. The Apple family had one in the old northern barn, but it only got used three or four times a year.
Applejack could tell she had done a good job raising them because Gilda made a clicking sound with her beak. It was the equivalent of licking one’s lips for someone who has no lips. With the cargo ready for shipping, the griffon counted out a wad of cash and handed it to Applejack. “Same time next season?”
Applejack took the money begrudgingly. “Yeah. Yeah.”
Just then she heard a loud cry. It was Apple Bloom, and she was in trouble! Big Macintosh must have been too busy chopping firewood to keep watch.
The cowpony dashed into the nearby woods where Apple Bloom had been playing. Her face was awash with horror as she arrived at a sunlit glen to find her little sister pinned against a boulder by a cockatrice, a timberwolf and a manticore.
The cowpony would have none of this. She leapt into action. A swift poke in the face for the cockatrice, then a massive reverse kick to the manticore’s muzzle. In the fury, the timberwolf snapped at Applejack, but only managed to snag her tail. Big mistake, for Applejack threw a mighty kick and sent the critter halfway back into the Everfree Forest. The others followed suit.
“Are you alright?” cried Applejack.
“Oh, thanks big sis! You were great!”
“Of all the gosh forsaken things, Apple Bloom. Going out here...” Applejack trailed off as she saw something hidden behind the little filly. “What’s that?”
“What’s what?” lied Apple Bloom. She was clearly concealing a slingshot behind her.
“Apple Bloom! Were you shooting apple cores at the critters in the Everfree Forest again?”
“Well, not at the critters in particular, just in their general direction.”
Applejack scooped up the slingshot. She strung in around her neck and proceeded to march Apple Bloom back to the farm for punishment.
“But sis, I thought I could get my cutie mark in monster hunting!”
Applejack growled. “I’m surprised you don’t already have your cutie mark in finding trouble!”
* * *
The sun was just up, and Applejack stepped into the farm house. She placed the slingshot on the dresser by the front door, then made her usual turn into the kitchen.
Applejack was ready for breakfast. The good part about getting up before dawn to work on the farm is that you’ve worked up an appetite before breakfast. What should she have today? The standard was a red delicious apple, but sometimes she liked to kick back with a granny smith. Today was particularly grueling, it was time to treat herself. It was time for a golden delicious. Applejack went to a special jar on the kitchen counter where she kept her secret stash.
As she broke the tangy surface of the ripe orb, something seemed wrong. She chewed and swallowed, but it just didn’t taste right. It tasted like a perfectly good apple, but it just felt wrong for some reason. She examined the apple for any scrapes or bruises. It was a perfectly good apple. She continued chewing and swallowing bites until the apple was finished, though none of those bites gave her pleasure.
Before she left she filled Winona’s food bowl. Strange that she didn’t come running that morning.
After moving some carts full of apples down to the apple cellar, Applejack stopped and stood in the morning breeze. She wasn’t tired, yet something just felt off.
“Big Mac, can you take care of this today? I’m just not feeling right. I need to go for a walk.”
“Eeyup.” Big Mac was expecting this. It was pig day after all, and his sister was never in a hard-working mood.
* * *
After walking all across Ponyville, Applejack stumbled into Twilight’s tree. “Perhaps one of Twilight’s books will be able to help me.” She found that the main lobby was empty. As was the second floor where Twilight slept. Applejack had to head to the third floor office before she saw any signs of life.
Standing at the desk was Twilight. The purple unicorn was composing a letter on the rollerdesk with the strangest smirk on her face.
“Hey, Twi!”
Twilight let out a high pitched squeak then covered her writing with whatever pages and books were nearby. “Oh! Applejack! I didn’t hear you come in. Please sit down.”
“Um, OK. I’m not interrupting anything am I?”
“Ho ho! Oh, no! Nothing at all.” Twilight tried to contain her excitement. “I was just writing a letter to my boyfriend.”
“You’re what now?”
The unicorn giggled. “Oh, yes, we’ve been writing to each other for weeks now. He’s from Fillydelphia.”
“Wait, so you’ve never met? Like face-to-face?”
“Oh, Applejack, these are modern times. We all have busy lives. Dating through the mail is common. I’m sure once he moves out here we’ll pick up right from where the letters left off. He is quite a catch...”
“Sure he is Twilight, I actually came here to have a talk about taste.”
“What? What’s wrong with my taste? I have fine taste!” Twilight seemed a little defensive.
This was starting to get just plain weird, but Applejack was thirsty for answers. “No, I mean my taste. I was wondering if one of your fancy books might have a solution for me. I woke up this morning and I didn’t have a taste for apples!”
Twilight Sparkle was puzzled. “What do you mean? Did the apples taste wrong?”
“No, they tasted fine, I just didn’t like them like I usually do. I wasn’t in the mood for apples! Me of all ponies!”
Twilight giggled to herself. “Well, I’m sure it’s just a phase. You can’t be eating the same thing everyday of your life. I’m sure this will blow over soon. Give it a few days.” Twilight did not seem all that concerned.
“I guess I’ll just let myself out.”
Twilight turned back to her letter. She bobbed her quill back and forth as she wrote.
As Applejack turned to leave, she got a terrible start. Spike had been standing against the back wall the whole time, shooting daggers at Twilight. AJ had thought nothing of his absence, since he spends most of his time at Rarity’s these days.
“Whoa, little britches! Didn’t see you there. heh. Are you alright?”
The small dragon spoke through gritted teeth. “I’m fine. Twilight’s the one in trouble. She’s writing a mushy letter to some pony she’s never met in person.”
Applejack thought Spike was being a little jealous, but then a thought occurred to the cowpony. Spike always takes dictation on Twilight’s letters. The only reason Twilight would write the letter herself would be if it contained something... juicy.
Applejack ebbed toward the exit. “Is she going to be alright?”
Spike scoffed. “This can only end in tears.”
* * *
Sugarcube Corner was in down time. Tuesdays were always slow, and any customers that would be coming in would be doing so in the evening. Pinkie stepped away from her counter and walked through the empty shop with a plate of treats.
“I just don’t know what to do Pinkie. I’ve gone almost a whole day and I still have not had a hankering for apples. Not even once!”
“Oh, Dear.” Pinkie perused her list. “We’ve done apple fritters, apple pie, apple cake, apple juice, apple cider, and apple creme brulee (I didn’t even know I could do that one). And we still have no checks in the ‘hankering’ column. I just don’t know what to do!”
Applejack slouched in her booth seat. She had loved apples every day of her life. What was different today?
Pinkie was pooped. It was rare for her to be out of ideas, but Applejack had just run her ragged. “Do you think Twilight was right? Maybe you just need a break from apples. Do you want to try a lemon square?”
Applejack slammed a hoof on the table. “No! If I can’t have an appetite for apples, I don’t want an appetite at’tall!”
* * *
Applejack had walked the whole town and still had not any answers, nor had she found her appetite. She started to look to the sky. Sitting above her like an angel was Rainbow Dash. She had been snoozing on a cloud above town.
With a mighty country whistle, Applejack had Rainbow Dash’s attention and beckoned her down to earth.
“Hey AJ, what’s up? Shouldn’t you have some farm chores to do or something?”
Applejack looked at her pegasus friend with a haggard soul. “Dash, I just don’t know what to do. I just don’t like apples! I can’t live if I don’t love apples! I don’t know what to do with my life anymore! I feel like I’ve become something horrible!” Applejack was in tears.
Dash looked Applejack squarely in the eyes. She could see distress and fret in the cowpony’s face. Dash did the only thing she could think of. “I’m taking you to a doctor.”
* * *
“It’s a good think you got to me when you did. Your tail has a pretty big bite on it.” The doctor finished the last of six stitches and cleaned the under-section of Applejack’s tail. He had already hooked AJ up to an IV to replace the missing blood.
“I didn’t think tails could bleed.” The cowpony said, embarrassed.
“Yes, well we all tend to forget during our daily lives, but the flesh extends up to a foot behind every pony. One of those critters you fought this morning must have bitten you and you didn’t even realize you were bleeding.”
“So, the loss of blood explains why Applejack lost her taste for apples?” Dash inquired.
“Well, loss of appetite is a symptom of anemia, so yes. But I need to take this blood sample for testing. We should know everything in two days. It’s standard procedure. In the meantime, just wait for that donor blood to fill you back up and have a cookie. You should be fine with a day of bedrest.
Rainbow collapsed into her chair. “Wow, Applejack. You had me going there.” She rubbed her hooves on her face in relief. “I was starting to think something had gone seriously wrong with you. But you’re OK, right? Right? AJ?”
Applejack wasn’t listening. She had cracked the IV jar of blood onto the counter and was lapping the red liquid up like milk.
* * * * *
Rainbow Dash and Applejack stormed into the library. Twilight was reshelving books. Dash shouted through short breath. “Applejack needs help! This is a medical emergency! We need your brain and junk!”
“I’d be happy to give you a hoof.” said Twilight.
Applejack was elated. “Oh, thank you. You don’t have to cook it or nothin’. Just chop it off and give it here.”
“What?!”
“Twilight, something bad has happened to Applejack! She was bit by some monster this morning, and now she has an insatiable taste for flesh and blood. You need to find out why before she eats somepony!” Dash was dead serious.
Twilight thought frantically. “Was the monster that bit you a timberwolf?”
Applejack nodded.
Twilight immediately picked a book off the shelf with her magic and began reading a passage. “Once a pony is infected with lycanthropy, she will start to turn into a timberwolf herself. Once the victim has made the change, there is no way to undo it. Once transformed, the pony will seek out all those who had strong connections to them and devour them! The only way stop the process is to kill the wolf that originally bit them.”
Applejack flipped. “How much time do we have?”
“We have until sundown of the next full moon.” Twilight checked her calendar. “Which is tonight!”
The three exchanged looks of horror. It was less than an hour until sunset.
* * *
They were at the farmhouse. The six and the apple family had been assembled. The sun was setting. Spike was riding on Twilight’s back and looking more concerned than ever. The house would be in a state of deafening silence if it weren’t for Applejack writhing in pain and knocking over furniture.
Poor Pinkie Pie was the most shook up by this. “C’mon Applejack. Won’t you at least try a cupcake? It might help.”
“Stop it Pinkie. That tray of cupcakes is not the solution.” Rarity trotted around nervously. “Can’t we lock her in a cellar until she changes back?”
Twilight shot Rarity a look. “She won’t change back. Once she turns into a timberwolf, it’s permanent.”
Apple Bloom was shaken to tears. “You OK, big sis?”
“NO!” Her voice was maniacal and bestial. “Take Apple Bloom and Winona and get as far from here as you can. Release the critters and tell them to run.”
Big Macintosh nodded. He knew what had to be done. In his big arms, he scooped up the Apple family and carried them out the back door. Apple Bloom looked down at her sister “You’re gonna be alright, sis?”
Applejack flashed her fangs. “GO NOW!”
The rest of the Apple family made haste out the front door.
Applejack spat madly. “I … must … feed....” Applejack eyes started glowing. Her body was growing and cracking. Large fangs sprang from her mouth. Nubs formed on the back of her feet that would eventually become other toes, complete with razor-sharp claws. The actual coating of the body with wood was last part of the transformation process, and probably wouldn’t be complete until she had devoured everypony in town. For now, Applejack was a larger version of a pony, with a wicked maw. Her hat, no longer fitting, fell to the side.
“Applejack? You okay?”
The orange pony only replied by baring her new fangs.
The ponies were not going to wait around to discover what AJ intended to do with those new fangs and they ran to the kitchen. They slammed the kitchen door and piled as much furniture in front of it as possible.
“I didn’t think it would end like this.” lamented Rarity.
Thuds were heard beyond the door. Then cracks. The whining of wood giving into pressure and splintering rang through the kitchen. It only took five minutes for the monstrous Applejack to tear the door and bits of furniture into toothpicks. She was now free to roam and crept forward. She opened her large mouth, drooling blood.
Spike clenched his claws. He was not going to stand for this. With a steely glare in his eye, he declared “I got this.” In a mighty display of bravery, he leapt into the air and lodged himself right in Applejack’s mouth. Her now immense maw was stuffed ear to ear with purple dragon. It was worse than the time Pinkie shoved three billiard balls in her mouth.
Try as she might, the monstrous Applejack could not bite down on Spike, nor dislodge him. “Don’t worry! She’s not strong enough to break through my scales!”
With a great whip of her neck, Applejack spat Spike across the room and squarely through the small square window at the far side of the kitchen. From the speed at which he flew, it would probably be a half-mile at least before he hit the ground.
Twilight was now starting to panic. “Ok, new plan. We get the hoof out of here and lock AJ inside.” Surely this would be an improvement. The front door was at least twice as thick as the interior doors. The five flew out the door and shut it behind them, locking the monstrous Applejack inside. However, this did not give them the safety they were anticipating.
Twilight looked out to the dusk of Sweet Apple Acres in horror. The front door had been surrounded by six large timberwolves. She wasn’t sure if they were here because they could smell the new arrival, or if they were chasing the critters that had been let out of their pens. The group was now outside. Their backs were against the wall of the apple farmhouse. They were surrounded.
“What do we do now?” said Rarity.
I have an idea. But I need to time it just right. Twilight listened for the thuds against the front door. At exactly the right moment, she opened the door and the monstrous Applejack careened straight out into the other timberwolves. The five ponies flew back inside and locked the door.
“What about Spike! Is he okay?!” shrieked Rarity as she kicked a bookcase against the front door.
Twilight took a deep breath. “Spike is more okay than the rest of us put together. If he’s smart he’ll roll into town and get help. We can’t wait for any, however. One of the monsters that bit Applejack must be in the pack outside. The full moon is almost at its apex. If we don't take out that wolf in the next few minutes, Applejack will be lost to us forever.”
Fluttershy was in tears. “But, how can we stop them? They’re huge and strong! And they’re made out of wood! What could possibly harm wood!”
While the pegasus was talking, Twilight was about the house, lighting every oil lamp available.
And just like that, a plan sprung to mind. She picked up the slingshot. “Pinkie, get your cupcakes. You’re with me. Rarity, you block all the windows and other doors. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash? You’re air support...”
* * *
Rainbow Dash hurled the lantern down at the timberwolf. An explosion of glass an oil coated the beast with liquid fire. It ran in agony and panic, but that only fueled the flames. Within a minute it had fallen lifeless into the dirt.
“Ha! Take that you bundle of sticks!”
Twilight's plan was brilliant. Dropping a glass oil lamp from a great enough height would shatter it into a fireball. Fluttershy was assembling them on the roof, and Dash was lobbing them at the enemy. It brought her back to her training days in flight camp. The only problem was the timberwolves were now wise to her, and getting another direct hit was nearly impossible.
Just then, Twilight and Pinkie popped their heads out of the apple cellar hatch. They had snuck through the storage cellar under the house and now had the drop on the monsters. Pinkie Pie had a slingshot drawn with a cupcake in it.
“Fire at will, Pinkie.” commanded Twilight.
The cupcake went flying. The timberwolf was struck right between the eyes. It fell dead an instant later.
“You were right, Twilight. These are a lot more lethal if you put rocks in them.” Pinkie reloaded the slingshot. With another round of cupcakes they had taken out a second timberwolf.
The other wolves were not going to let this stand. They charged the door to the apple cellar. Twilight and Pinkie ducked for cover and locked the hatch.
She was down to her last oil lamp. “C’mear you monsters!” Dash had carelessly flown closer to the ground. Close enough for the timberwolves to jump. And one of them did, the transformed Applejack.
Rainbow Dash hesitated. She couldn’t light her friend on fire. It just wasn’t in her. She was frozen in fear for the first time in her life. The monstrous Applejack was leaping into the air. If she had jumped an inch closer, Rainbow would have been bitten.
As the missing monster hit the ground, something strange happened. She began shivering and coughing. Then she collapsed and started to shrink down to her original size. The three remaining timberwolves (one large, two small) looked on in puzzlement.
Despite holding a lantern, everything seemed to go dark around Rainbow Dash. She looked up.
“Where did the moon go?”
Just then a hush ran through the night. The stars seemed to flash out into darkness for a brief moment. A slight chill blew through the air. All of a sudden a brilliant ray of blue light fell from the sky and blew a crater into the field in front of the Apple family farmhouse.
As the smoke cleared, the ponies could see its contents. It was Princess Luna. She was angry. “Twilight Sparkle, your scaly friend was wise to summon me. All creatures of the night must learn of their master.”
Her horn was glowing with a monumental amount of electricity. Luna reigned down punishment from the heavens. Huge bolts of lightning had smitten a timberwolf, not only causing it to shatter into pieces, but leaving a smoldering crater beneath it.
Immediately afterward a second timberwolf had succumbed to the same explosive fate.
Now there was only one timberwolf left--the large one. Several bolts of lightning struck it, but the beast seemed to shake them off. It was too large and grounded. It didn’t have the soft, moist centers the smaller monsters had. This one was old, thick and sharp; like a piece of driftwood half-buried in the sand.
Seeing that magic bolts would not work, Luna stepped forward. Luna pelted her hoofs into the savage beast. They exchanged blows at close quarters. Neither one gave an inch. Luna was more slender, but her blows were fierce and quick. The timberwolf laid into her with clumsy blows that couldn’t cause significant harm. After what seemed like hours they both separated, panting and exhausted. Luna’s ears flapped, taking in her surroundings.
Luna suddenly dropped her fighting stance. She sat demurely on the tuft of grass and stared the large timberwolf right in the eyes. “I’ve got two words for you. Beep. Beep.”
Everyone present found those words confusing. Confusing until an instant later when a beeping of a truck’s horn was heard. It was Granny Smith and Big Macintosh in the Apple family truck, barreling down the hill at 50 mph.
“Eat this you moldy old stump!” Granny Smith took the chance to turn the headlights on two seconds before impact, so that the monster could see her fate coming.
CRASH!
The timberwolf’s body was a broken mash of sticks and lumber crushed between the bumper of the truck and the side of the farm house. Death was instant and painful and the only movement left in the beast was the pink ooze that dripped from its corpse. It fizzed as it made contact with air.
Granny Smith and Big Mac undid their safety belts and stepped out to inspect their handiwork. “That’ll teach you to mess with ma kin! You young fillies are always doing things the hard way. You need to take out the leader first, gal dangit.” She kicked the dead wood, just for good measure. “Looks like we finally have enough firewood, Big Macintosh!”
Rarity was shocked. “You mean you’re just going to throw all that into your fireplace?”
“Well, of course not, dearie. You have to season it first.”
The girls ran over to Applejack, laying unconscious on the ground. Dash cradled her in her hooves and brought her around. “AJ! You OK! Speak to us!”
Applejack opened bruised eyes and spoke through a weary mouth. “So hungry...”
Her big brother brought her a red delicious. Applejack tasted the apple.
It was delicious.
Dear Princess Celestia,
Sometimes in life, the things that used to make us happy no longer have the same bite they used to. There are times in everypony’s life when they need to re-invent themselves. At times like these it’s good to have friends to help you with your troubles.
Lucky for me, it turned out I was just possessed by a demonic virus that was rapidly turning me into a carnivorous monster who would inevitably rip out the the throats of all my loved ones and devour their flesh. I really dodged a bullet. I’d like you to thank your sister for me. She really saved my bacon last night.
Your Faithful Farmer,
Applejack
The day after next, Applejack got the results of her blood test in the mail. “I wonder if lycanthropy shows up on blood tests.” She opened the letter at breakfast, where she was treating herself to a big bowl of applesauce.
“Ms. Applejack.
We are happy to inform you that we have two bits of good news for you. First, you are free from any infectious blood diseases. For the second, you may want to be sitting down.
You’re pregnant...
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And now I have the funniest mental image of Big Mac and Granny smith smashing a truck into all sorts of things without a care in the world. Thanks!
Huh. Interesting. So, out of the frying pan and into the fire.
By the way, will you ever introduce to your continuity of the story the changelings, or just leave them out entirely?
Ok. I must say parts of this were really well written and good and I gave it a thumbs up but... The ending was a huge let down. While it's a fun image to have of Granny Smith and Big Mac in a truck plowing through timber wolves I must say it made no sense that they'd be there or that Luna showed up. It's basically saying her friends were useless in trying to help and no amount of friendship magic can solve it...
Let's bring in the near immortal goddess of the night!
Oh wait, Luna can't defeat it? Hm... BRING IN A HUGE TRUCK!
It's just cheap. The rest was fine... It's just like you couldn't think of a way for them to save the day so you brought in other characters to do it for them. I'm pretty sure Twilight could of researched a fire spell or SOMETHING.
And the pregnant thing? Totally uncalled for. It's out of nowhere with no context given and no possible father (unless it was Gilda
) So I don't see the point in it...
All in all; good fic, well written with a crap ending.
EDIT: Ok. I read on your blog that this is a sequel to another fic but nowhere did you say that here so for newcomers and people just casually reading who aren't following you the pregnant thing is really out of place. I have no idea if it was explained that she had a bit of stallion fun or not in the others but I'll assume it is.. But it was still very unfair for people who just come across this. A little context wouldn't of hurt.
Well this was certainly... interesting, not hilarious mind you but certainly interesting, I will keep my eye on it.
Dat ending! I fucking loved it!
Bark At The Moon - Ozzy Osbourne
I thought this was gonna be a one-off thing, but nope.
Oh no! Here we go! It's gonna get real! I see it coming, FAST!
This is a good start for a sequel!
This better turn out like Fluttershocked.
Oh god, your famous endings are back.
My sides! They burn!
Another amazing story from the Haze-man!
that ending.
KEK.
Great start!
"You're pregnant." Wait what?
:masterofpunchline:
504303
actually it made perfect sense, spike sent a letter to Luna who planned with granny smith and big mac to use the truck
504273
Mwahahaha.
Omg I love it! I see people criticizing the truck, but I personally like how you made a random fact relevant. And the pregnancy thing! Blindsided! Overall it was simply awesome! Keep up the good work
appledash? no, carajack? no, wait...
Wait. WHAT!
Pregnant? Where did THAT come from?
I see what you did there.
11 months later, Applejack gave birth to a bouncing baby apple.