Siren Split
Adagio Dazzle grumbled and groaned to herself as she tromped up the stairs of the run-down apartment building where she lived. Today had been a bad day for her, just like the day before and the day before that. Seven hours at school, an hour more in detention for trying to take over the world, and the rest of the afternoon working at a diner she didn't even like. She was still wearing her blue waitress uniform, which was decorated with grease stains and smudges. Letting out a frustrated sigh, she marched up to the door leading to her apartment and unlocked it.
Inside, nothing had changed. Dirty clothes of varying shapes and sizes decorated the floor and furniture, as well as empty takeout boxes, instant noodle cups, and a fine layer of dust. As she walked in, the floor made a distinct creaking sound with every step she took. She also swore she saw some sort of vermin skittering under the destroyed chunk of upholstery that was once a couch, but it was too fast to make out what it was. And of course, at the far end of the room, a single television set was bathing the poorly-lit room in its alluring glow. Sitting in front of the television were none other than Adagio's cohorts, Sonata Dusk and Aria Blaze. They both sat cross-legged on a filthy mattress, their eyes glued to the screen as Aria mashed the buttons on her video game controller.
"Quick! Jump over the water! Jump over the water!" Sonata chanted.
"What do you think I'm trying to do?!" Aria growled.
Adagio scowled and folded her arms. "I'm glad to see that you two have decided to make productive use of your time," she said sardonically.
"Hello to you too, Adagio," said Aria, giving Adagio a sideways glance. "Oh, and pardon us for wanting to crash and unwind after a long day."
"Yeah, pardon us," Sonata parroted, blowing a raspberry at Adagio. "You're just mad 'cause you suck at this game." In a split second, she turned her attention back to the screen. "Aria, what're you doing?! Jump over the water!"
Aria's knuckles slowly turned white as she gripped the controller. "Sonata, if you don't stop back-seat gaming me, I'm not gonna let you have a turn."
"What?! No fair!" Sonata whined. "Adagio~! Aria won't let me have a turn~!"
Adagio pinched the bridge of her nose. "Ugh, at least tell me you two have something interesting to report about the Rainbooms this time."
"Oh, not this again," Aria griped. "That's all you've been talking about all week, Adagio! We're not against getting revenge on those guys; we wouldn't have agreed to stay at that stupid school if we were. But for the love of Pete, can't we go just one night without talking about them?!"
Adagio gave her partners a bemused look. "You didn't find out anything, did you?"
Aria shrugged. "You said it, not me."
"But, yeah. We didn't find much," said Sonata as she sheepishly twiddled her fingers. This prompted Aria to shoot Sonata a dirty look, and Sonata blinked in confusion. "What? What?!"
Adagio sighed. "You two are useless."
"Hey, your little scheme just so happens to be easier said than done," Aria protested. "We're not even in all the same classes as those guys; you know that! We've all been busting our chops trying to get some dirt on those Rainblossoms!"
"Rainbooms," Adagio corrected.
"Whatever," said Aria dismissively. "The point is that we might not have much to use against them, but it's not for a lack of trying."
Adagio crossed her arms and pursed her lips. "Sounds to me like you're just making excuses for your lack of results. Again."
"Well, we had tough days, too!" Sonata snapped. "Aria had to put up with those FlimFlam bozos, and my boss hates me!"
"That's because you keep trying to eat your customers' orders, Sonata," Aria sighed. "I knew getting you a job at that taco place was a bad idea."
"Well, at least I don't have to dress up like a banana all afternoon!" Sonata retorted.
Aria's eye twitched. "I thought we agreed never to speak about that, Sonata."
Adagio pressed the tips of her fingers into her forehead. "It's come to my attention that you two don't realize what's at stake here."
"Here we go," said Aria, rolling her eyes.
"Don't 'here we go' me! This is serious!" Adagio screamed, flailing her arms about as she paced around the room. "Ever since the Battle of the Bands, our lives have been completely ruined! Those blasted Rainbooms destroyed our pendants, and without them, we can't use magic! Gone are the days where we can just sing and get whatever we want! Now we've been degraded to common peasants trying to make ends meet like the rest of those pathetic humans! We work ourselves to the bone every afternoon just to keep this leaky roof over our heads and food on our table! It's humiliating!"
As Adagio continued to rant and rave, Aria mimicked her using her hand as a puppet. Sonata giggled once or twice at Aria's act, but sobered up when Adagio turned in their direction. At a pause in the tirade, Aria interrupted.
"Are you done preaching to the choir yet?" she asked. "This isn't exactly stuff we don't already know. We don't need a reminder every single freaking night."
"Maybe I wouldn't have to remind you so much if you actually had something to show for all this hard work you claim to do," Adagio countered.
"Again, it's not for a lack of trying!" Aria barked back, taking her eyes off the game and glaring daggers at Adagio. "You're at that school with us; you know this spy stuff's hard! Why do you always blame us when things go wrong, huh?! Why don't you ever admit that maybe it's—"
A splash followed by a sad-sounding jingle interrupted Aria's train of thought. She turned back to the screen to see that in her moment of distraction, she accidentally lost a life.
"My turn!" Sonata chirped, pawing for the controller.
"H-hey, that doesn't count!" Aria protested, pulling the controller out of Sonata's reach. "Adagio was distracting me!"
"You should've pressed pause then," Sonata retorted.
Aria sputtered and spat, unable to form a rebuttal. Begrudgingly, she relinquished the controller. "You're the worst, Sonata," she grumbled.
"I know you are, but what am I?" said Sonata smugly.
"Ooh, nice comeback," Aria said sarcastically. "It took you what, five seconds to think that one up?"
"No, it took me three!" Sonata boasted.
Aria opened her mouth to respond, but she couldn't think of anything to say. Adagio simply shook her head and clicked her tongue.
"Honestly, I don't know what to do with you two sometimes," she sighed. "I really wish you'd get your acts together and—"
Just then, a bright flash of light blinded all of the Sirens for a brief moment. When their vision returned, none of them could believe their eyes. Floating before them was a strange creature that appeared to be a mismatch of a variety of different animals. A deer's antler; a lion's paw; a bat's wing; a lizard's foot; a snake's tail. It was a creature all of Equestria knew and feared, and it was standing right in their living room.
"Hmm. This can't be right," Discord mused. "Surely, she wouldn't live in a dump like this."
The Sirens were speechless. None of them could even blink. Apparently oblivious to their presence, Discord took out and upside-down map and began reading it over.
"Okay, let's see here," he said. "I took a left at that dimension, a right at the dimension with the good King Sombra... Hmm, no, I seem to be in the right neighborhood. Maybe I should ask one of the locals."
He then put away his map and floated down to Adagio. "Excuse me, miss. Do you happen to know where Sunset Shimmer lives?"
Adagio tried to respond, but any words she wanted to say were stuck in her throat. She simply stared back at Discord, her mouth agape.
"Ooookay, I'll take that as a 'no,'" said Discord with a frown. "Oh well, only one thing for it, then." He then closed his eyes. "There's no place like Sunset Shimmer's home."
He clicked his heels three times, and in another flash of light, he was gone. The Sirens looked at each other in awkward silence.
"Um, did all of you just see that, or was it just me?" asked Aria, breaking the silence.
"N-no, I saw it," Sonata said with a shiver.
"I did as well," Adagio concurred. "I honestly thought he was supposed to be trapped in stone."
"I guess he got out somehow," said Aria with a shrug.
"It appears so," said Adagio. Suddenly, a sinister gleam appeared in her eyes, and her lips curled into an evil smile. "Wait a minute, girls. If Discord's here, do you know what that means?"
"Up is down, black is white, and children are all spaghetti?" whimpered Sonata.
Aria shrugged again. "Equestria's screwed and this place is next?"
Adagio deadpanned. "I was thinking more along the lines of how it affects us."
Aria tilted her head. "Huh?"
Adagio smacked her forehead. "Don't you see? Discord obviously has plans for this world. If we can get in on those plans and help him out, he can give us our magic back, and together, we'll teach those Rainbooms a lesson they'll never forget!"
Sonata gulped. "Um, Adagio? A-are you sure that's a good idea?"
Adagio turned to Sonata and raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean?"
"Well, this is Discord we're talking about, right? As in the Discord? The biggest and baddest tyrant who ever lived? I mean, I know I'm not exactly the sharpest lightbulb in the crayon box..."
"That's an understatement," said Aria, rolling her eyes.
"...but I know enough to know that Discord is, like, super bad," Sonata concluded, pouting her lips and giving Aria the evil eye.
Aria sighed. "Sonata, we're not exactly paragons of virtue ourselves."
"Yeah, but all we wanted to do was have everyone adore us," said Sonata. "Discord would make it so that we'd have to walk on our elbows and play the piano with our ears, just for yuks!"
"Sonata, you don't even play the piano."
"No, but he'd force me to!" Sonata shrieked. "This is bad, bad, bad! No one should think that Discord is a good thing, Adagio! No one!"
Adagio scoffed. "Well well. It looks like you don't want your powers back as badly as we do," she said with a sneer. "In the meantime, Aria and I will—"
"Um, actually, as much as Sonata is acting like a total baby right now, I'm gonna pass on this one too, Adagio," Aria interrupted.
Adagio blinked. "Wait, what?!"
"Hey, I want my powers back just as badly as you do," said Aria. "But I'm not gonna turn myself into Discord's personal plaything in order to get them. I only have so much dignity left!"
"Says the girl who dresses in a banana costume," Adagio whispered under her breath.
"I heard that!" Aria snapped.
"Look, we wouldn't become Discord's playthings," said Adagio. "We'd become his partners."
Aria folded her arms. "His partners? Really, Adagio? Have you paid attention to any of the stories about Discord? He doesn't need partners. He can do whatever he wants with a mere thought. He has no use for anyone, let alone three washed-up sea ponies with no magic to do his bidding."
"Doesn't he?" said Adagio with a sly smile. "I seem to remember that it was the Elements of Harmony that turned him to stone. I'll bet you anything that was the same Equestrian magic the Rainbooms used to defeat us."
"So what if it is?"
"Well, if we can distract the Rainbooms and split them up somehow, it'll be one less thing for Discord to worry about when he takes over!"'
Aria arched an eyebrow. "So, basically, we're just going to keep doing what we've originally been doing for the past week. If that's the case, I'm sure Discord would have nothing but praise for our progress so far. Seriously, aren't you supposed to be the smart one?"
Adagio clenched her fists and stomped her foot in anger. "You know what? Fine! If you two are gonna be like that, I'll just do this on my own! And when I rule this pathetic little world as Discord's queen, I'll get in both of your faces and laugh! You just wait!"
With that, she marched out of the apartment in a huff and slammed the door. There was a pregnant pause that was broken by Sonata.
"Shouldn't we go after her?" she asked.
"We could, but that would require me to care," said Aria, scooping up the video game controller.
"So, that's a no then?"
Aria sighed. "Yes, Sonata."
"Yes that's a no, or yes we're going after—"
"Yes that's a no."
"Okay," Sonata sighed, falling to her knees and casing the mattress to bounce a little.
"I don't know what you're so worked up about," said Aria. "Discord's gonna take over this world, so what? It's not as though we like this world. You said it yourself; this place is the worst."
"Well, yeah. It is," said Sonata. "But do you want Discord to make it worse than the worst?"
Aria palmed her face. "Sonata, that makes no sense."
"Exactly! That's what makes Discord so evil!" Sonata exclaimed. "We can't let him do this, Aria! We just can't!"
"Oh, quit being such a drama queen," said Aria. "I mean, heaven forbid we actually have some excitement in our lives. Discord can take this world to Tartarus in a tote bag for all I care. Doesn't bother me one iota. Heck, I know I'm gonna be laughing when he completely and utterly trounces the Rainblossoms."
Sonata pouted. "Yeah, you just try saying that when a ham sandwich grows out of your left pigtail and starts driving you around like a choo-choo train."
Aria gave Sonata a quizzical look. "That's, oddly specific."
"I have weird dreams," Sonata replied.
Aria let out an exasperated sigh. "Well, take that up with the school counselor, not me."
All was quiet for a time as Sonata picked at a tear in the mattress while Aria continued playing her video game. Finally, she perked up.
"Hey, Aria! I just got an idea!" she cheered.
"It's gonna be stupid, I can tell," said Aria, not even looking up from her game.
"Hey!" exclaimed Sonata, sounding rather insulted. "That's not nice! At least hear me out first!"
Aria sighed and hit the pause button. "Alright, fine. I'm paying attention. What's this idea of yours?"
"Why don't we go warn the Rainbooms about Discord before he starts his evil plan?"
Aria deadpanned. "Yeah, I'm sticking with my first reaction. That's stupid."
"But you heard Adagio! The Rainbooms can stop Discord with their Equestrian magic! We need them!" Sonata insisted.
"Did you take more stupid pills for breakfast than normal or something?" Aria scolded. "The Rainblossoms are our enemy, Sonata! They're the reason why we don't have magic anymore! I'm not gonna forgive them for that!"
"Well, I'm not saying we forgive them," said Sonata meekly. "I just think that getting rid of Discord is more important."
"It really isn't, Sonata," said Aria. "You're just overreacting because you're afraid of him. Besides, those guys aren't gonna believe you, anyway. I'm sure they hate us as much as we hate them. They'd be stupid to trust anything we say after what we did."
"B-but this is Discord we're talking about! We have to warn someone!" Sonata insisted.
"No, we don't," said Aria. "Again, no one's gonna listen to you. After the Rainblossoms destroyed our magic, our names officially changed from the Dazzlings to mud. The whole school hates us. Everyone hates us."
"T-that's not true," Sonata whimpered, casting her gaze downward. "I don't hate us."
Aria gave Sonata a sideways glance. She noticed the tears forming in her eyes and bit her lip. After a pause, she sighed.
"You know what, Sonata? If you really want to talk to the Rainblossoms or whatever they're called, go right ahead," she said. "Just leave me out of it. I'm not saying a word to them after what they've done."
Sonata looked up and tilted her head. "But wait. If you're not gonna help me or Adagio, what will you be doing?"
Aria shrugged. "I'll just sit back and watch the fireworks, I guess."
Sonata tilted her head to the other side. "What fireworks?"
Aria groaned. "I mean I'm gonna watch you and Adagio make fools of yourselves with your crazy schemes while quietly laughing to myself."
Sonata pouted. "Hey, that's mean! You act like you don't care about us at all! All you're worried about is yourself!"
Aria snickered. "You're just figuring that out now, huh? Seriously, you've known me for how long?"
Sonata blinked. "Um, since we started working together to conquer Eque—"
"The question was rhetorical, Sonata," Aria interrupted. A few seconds later, a familiar growl came from her stomach. With a sigh, she tossed the controller over to Sonata. "Here, take over. I'm gonna go get dinner ready."
"W-wait, what?" asked Sonata. "Shouldn't we wait for Adagio?"
Aria scoffed. "I highly doubt Adagio's gonna be back anytime soon, and I'm sorry, but my stomach can't wait. She can fix her own dinner when she gets home."
"Well, why not let me do the cooking then?"
"Because I don't want a repeat of the Taco Incident."
"Hey, you can't prove that was me!"
Aria rolled her eyes. "Sure I can't," she said. "Just take over for me, will ya?"
Without waiting for a response, Aria got up and made her way to the incredibly messy kitchen. Sonata sighed and tried to focus on her game, but her thoughts kept drifting back to Adagio and Discord.
I hope Adagio's okay, she thought. Wherever she is...
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Discord's queen my my does Adaigo have a thing for Discord?
Will we see Discords human counterpart appear in this story?
5273441 I'm going to say no, if only because it would be very difficult to fit him into the narrative I have planned. Besides, I'm not sure what the human counterpart of the embodiment of chaos would be, exactly.
And the plot thickens to a boil. That's the correct phrase, right?
Awesome chapter, can't wait for the next.
Adagio is in for a rude awakening.
5273494 Some people tend to think that the human counterpart is either a janitor or a crazy science teacher that blows stuff up.
Sh*ts about to hit the fan
I'm just gonna be over ther with Aria, watching the inevitable show.
"I mean, I know I'm not exactly the sharpest lightbulb in the crayon box..."
Sonata, you are so cute! *pats her head*
"And when I rule this pathetic little world as Discord's queen, I'll get in both of your faces and laugh!"
ADAGIO! Okay, I have shipped you and your two friends with...pretty much everyone...but if you're going to seduce Discord, you need to know that I am a hard-core Fluttercord fan. Okay? Okay.
Next chapter next chapter next chapter!
5273494 The school janitor, obviously.
Nice PPG ref.
Wow...desperation sure makes one suicidally stupid.
It's hard to believe that Sonata is the only one of the Sirens making SENSE here.
(Well, at least going off the outdated info they have...)
5273494
you can make him a student or anything
He can be anything like in Equestria as he is a shapeless and ageless spirit
Good chapter! Very well-written.
I like where this could go. Have a fav.
Also, grats on the feature!
*not
The pieces are falling together. This is looking pretty good.
5273850 Whoops! Thanks for catching that, mate.
5273721
You know I never really understood that headcanon. What about Discord suggests that he could or would spend his life cleaning and fixing things? He's, like, the anti-janitor.
I liked a recent story that had him as a schizophrenic art teacher who had recently spent three years in a mental hospital.
5273916 You've never watched Scrubs, have you?
I'll admit, that made me laugh out loud.
I liked how the Dazzlings were portrayed here. Their interactions were lots of fun and throwing Discord into the mix made it even more enjoyable. Excellent chapter.
Wow. If only life was that easy
Great Story
Discord arrives: EVERYBODY PANIC!
Oh, dear god.
*smashes favorite button with chocolate rainmaker*
5273806 in the first movie he made a cameo as the janitor last I checked.
But I like this discord far better, wonder if he'll meet his human counterpart like the reason why Twilight didn't bring her pony friends in the second movie.
5274823
there was no Discord in first movie, where did you get that information? Meghan herself dont want to make him into adult human and she made sure animated team wont even insert him as an easter egg in any movies.
5274854 Went and rewatched the movies, and could of sworn I saw him, but cant place where. Though a janitorial role would fit the spirit of chaos and disharmony remarkably well and it is the one job in the school that isn't shown. This combined with hundreds of preexisting ponies either being teachers or students here and that would leave Discord with either two roles as an draconequus immortal on par with Celestia. Janitorial or teaching. Teaching students seems a tad bit too orderly, no? Yet a lot more untold havoc can be found as the janitorial job unfolds. From flooding sinks to accidently turning off all the electronics in the school with a simple click of a switch or accidentally cut wire.
5275086
His main role in the series is being a trickster and prankster. He should become a student and school prankster who gets in trouble and detention
Pretty funny chapter, but shouldn't Discord get turned into a human upon entering this world rather than remaining a draconequues?
5275159 Trying to apply logic to Discord?
5275159 What 5275244 said.
OK THIS is a dman good story.
More please!
This has great promise. You have a good feel for the characters and a great sense of humor. This chapter in particular actually feels like a cartoon, one of the old school ones with villains that are kinda stupid and not really terrible. Have a like and a fav.
One thing, you wrote "payed". To pay, in past tense, is "paid". "I paid my debt" or at the very least "I paid them a visit". At least I think that is how it is.
More please! Happy writing.
5275271 Oy, I really should invest in better fine-tooth combs. Thanks for catching that, mate.
I WANT MORE
MOAR MOAR MOAR
Moar!!!!!!!!
Also, /moo.
Blade wolf moos. Moooooooooo.
5273615
And I will be hunting the silly siren who has thoughts of ruling. A heat knife in the heart should suffice.
5275406 Let her have her fun; it will be more amusing to watch her fall.
PPG reference? Bubbles approves.
I realize that Sonata became a fan favourite because she seems less malicious since she can get distracted by the idea of tacos or bounce cheerfully along with bad rap. But really shouldn't it be Aria who realizes how hellish their new world could be if Discord decides to redecorate?
5275632
Aria is kind of an anarchist when you really get down to it, so this seems like a fine portrayal to me.
*Finishes reading.*
Hm. Yeah.
*Scoots up behind Adagio.*
*Makes a horrendous grin and slowly unsheathes knife, and quickly stabs Adagio.*
I'm... J-just gonna... leave this here...
Ok, see ya'.
*Sprints away screaming about how she was dumb anyway.*
*Comes back after 20 minutes.*
Why are you still reading this?
5275282
Bah, one such mistake in two chapters? That's nothing, even for a quality fic. It's my pleasure to help.
This was really really good. The characterization is spot on. I can't wait to read more :D
5273721
5273494
muktware.com/wp-content/uploads/richard-m-stallman.jpg
This is going to be the theme song of this fic, I think.
5277262 Oh, I don't know. I have one or two other fitting themes in mind. As to what they are, well, you'll see in due time.
5273531
There is also a story that has him as the oddball kind of art teacher.
5277262 Hey look, it's Best Song!
Okay. I really like where is going. Discord and crazy shenanigans in the human world, coupled with good writing? There is nothing about that I do not like.
I´m bothered about the fact Discord can maintain his form and full powers in Human Equestria, a magic-less world.
Good characterisation of the three sirens, good dialogue, good setup for events to come...
oi59.tinypic.com/14wssoi.jpg
Good chapter :P
The Rainboom's meeting with Discord is gonna be interesting; if he doesn't disguise himself there will probably be a panic of some kind, and regardless, Sunset is the only one who'd know what he is, so if he doesn't clarify (or Twi hasn't sent a book text yet) that he isn't evil, then she's probably going to be freaking out and/or possibly trying to get the others to friendship-magic him. Even if they did agree to try, I can't see it working.
Also, I still need to actually see the movie, but I get the impression that Sonata is similar to Silver Spoon in that she's essentially just part of the wrong crowd, so without extra context I generally find her adorable.
Finally, someone who actually gets sonata's characterization genuinely right.
Also, for human Discord, why not try this:
27.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lz2igf3hZI1qm2frqo1_500.jpg
Or, alternatively, this:
th06.deviantart.net/fs71/PRE/f/2012/267/2/9/discord_human_version_by_apzzang-d5fptwq.png
Or, if you're feeling particularly crazy, this:
fc00.deviantart.net/fs71/i/2013/352/3/d/humanized_discord_by_redapropos-d6ygnk5.png
I'd kind of like to see a mix between them; the subtle age of 1 mixed with the mismatched body of 2, for example. But hey, it's all up to you.