Chapter 5: The Specialist
Chapter 5: The Specialist
"Once again I thank you for coming." Celestia stated to the concealed figure.
The specialist had arrived only an hour ago by train and Celestia had rushed to greet her as soon as she heard. It had been 2 weeks since the request for aid had been sent and in that time things had only gotten worse. Twilight in addition to her moon obsession, had recently taken to aggressive action against several of her former bullies. Celestia found several of the fillies and colts had been completely robbed of their manes much to their horror. It took their parents hours to calm the poor dears down and even longer for Celestia to stop them from targeting Twilight. She had tried to talk to her pupil about the incident, but she seemed to be rather blunt about it.
"They humiliated me, I humiliated them. It's as simple as that." Her student had answered.
Though the violence wasn't the thing about the incident that had worried Celestia most, that would be the spell she used. A mane removal spell was a slightly higher level of magic then what she and Celestia were currently going over. Twilight had said she had read it in a book she found but Celestia knew that was a lie. After the "clown face" incident 5 years ago it was decided that no more prank spells like that would be taught, and all books referencing them were off limits to any student of the magic academy. The only way Twilight could have learned that spell would have been if someone else had taught her, and though it was unlikely it was Nightmare... Celestia couldn't take any chances.
"It was no trouble Celestia. From the way your message sounded it seemed dire, so I made haste." The mare answered back.
"Indeed it is my dear. Something is terribly wrong with Twilight Sparkle." Celestia responded. The figure gasped in shock.
"Is she ok? What's wrong with her?!" The mare asked Celestia in a panic.
"She's been acting rather strangely my dear. Obsessing over the moon, anxious for the day's lessons to end, violent behavior against other individuals, and learning magic not in the curriculum." Celestia answered.
"That... Does sound disconcerting Celestia. Do you have any idea about what may be causing this behavior?" The mare asked.
"I believe she may be learning this magic from another teacher, one who has a looser belief of right and wrong. I fear she may be learning... unsavory ideas from this role model and growing more like them then me or her family." Celestia responded.
"It sounds like she needs someone to talk to her about it then. But why call me? Wouldn't Shiny or her parents be a better person to discuss this with her?"
"It's not so simple dear. She seems to have become obsessed with her new ideas, beyond being convinced their bad. I need your power for the solution I have in mind." Celestia answered.
The mare stepped forward to show herself. She was an Alicorn like Celestia and Nightmare Moon except slightly smaller though still larger then the average pony. She was completely pink except for her crown and hoof guards which were gold. Her flank was decorated by her cutie mark, an ornate crystal heart. She was Princess MI Amore Cadenza better known as Princess Cadence, the Princess of Love.
"And what did you have in mind exactly Celestia?" Cadence asked suspiciously.
Celestia sighed, knowing Cadence wouldn't like the answer.
"I need you to cast a spell Cadence... Something to make her a bit... More loyal to me as it were." Celestia answered.
"ARE YOU INSANE?! That would break at least 3 separate laws that you yourself implemented! And more importantly it's amoral! I can't do that to Twily or any pony else! Cadence shrieked in reply.
"I know my dear and I wouldn't ask if it weren't urgent but please! Twilight is the Element of Magic I just know it! If she isn't on the side of good then all will be lost for our kingdom you know this!" Celestia answered back.
"Is that truly the only reason you have Celestia? I'm guessing theirs more to it, isn't there?" Cadence stated.
"Your right my dear." Celestia sighed in defeat.
"If my research is correct then the elements should posses the power to purge any entity of it's darkness. And if that's the case then-"
"Then they may be able to free Luna from the thing possessing her. Is that what your saying?" Cadence finished and asked.
"Precisely my dear niece. I've waited more then a thousand years for this chance to free my sister from the Nightmare inside of her and now I have that chance." Celestia stated.
"So Twilight is nothing more then a pawn to you aunt!?" Cadence shouted back at her.
"No! She isn't "just a pawn" to me niece! She is vital to my plan but she is her own pony Cadence." Celestia replied.
"A pony you want me to brainwash!" Cadence shouted indignantly.
"It's temporary!" Celestia shouted back.
"Explain aunt." Cadence replied calmly but on guard.
"According to my research the loyalty spell should disappear if Twilight finds several new loyalties while keeping distance from me. Specifically if she manages to create close ties of friendship with the other elements of harmony, then the spell should subside naturally. I just need you to do this so she will stay loyal long enough to free my sister. Please Cadence." Celestia begged.
Cadence just sat there, unsure of what she should do. Celestia had a good reason for doing this in wanting to get her sister back she had to admit. But she also knew that doing such a thing to poor Twilight was just awful and amoral, not to mention the fact that Twilight was her favorite little filly and her colt friends sister. Could she really do something like this to her, even if it was temporary?"
"No." Cadence answered.
"I beg your pardon?" Celestia asked.
"I won't do it to poor Twilight I just won't! You should know better auntie!" Cadence shouted.
"Really? You seemed to have no objections using a spell to take her brother from my former pupil." Celestia retorted coldly.
"Th-That was-"
"An act of love I understand my dear. Nonetheless it was an act of love that drove poor Sunset away from me and onto a darker path. I wonder how Shining Armor would feel if he knew about your actions?" Celestia interrupted.
Cadence just stood there shocked at Celestia's threat. She sat pondering for a few minutes before she sighed and answered.
"So I do this for you and Shiny never finds out I used my magic to make him break up with Sunset? Is that what your saying Auntie?" Cadence asked bitterly.
"Yes. Please understand that this is all for the good of Equestria nie-"
"Save your excuses aunt. This happened because you were so vane you couldn't give your sister a little credit for her work. But I have no choice in the matter do I? It's either lose the stallion I love forever or break the mind of a filly I love like a sister for a few years... I choose the latter." Cadence spat out.
Celestia lowered her head in guilt at Cadences words despite her threat and why shouldn't she? Cadence was right on all accounts after all. She had been so focused on every ponies love and attention that she forgot to let her sister share that spotlight. She had known of Cadences selfish actions and yet did nothing which drove an innocent soul to do horrible things. And now here she was engaging in a plan that could traumatize another poor unfortunate soul. She knew her actions were far from morally right but... To save her sister she would do it all one hundred times over.
"Thank you my Niece. I know my actions are not those of a queen, just an old mare who's trying to atone for a past mistake." Celestia said sadly.
Cadence sighed at Celestia's words knowing she wasn't one to talk either. When she had cast the love spell she had known Shiny was happily together with Sunset and it was wrong to break them apart... But she just hadn't cared. She just needed Shining to hold her and love her no matter what she had to do, and as a result she had left a life ruined. She had no place to call out Celestia and she knew it. She put a hoof on her aunt's shoulder.
"I know auntie. I know." Cadence replied.
The two just sat there for what seemed like hours, reflecting on their past mistakes. The monsters they created through a foolish need for attention and love. And the lives they were ruining even to this day in the process. The silence was finally ended when Cadence spoke.
"So when do I start?"
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I'm still voting Dash, and a hypno fic's always good
I vote for Fluttershy
I vote Trixie.
I must say Sunset, Cadence isn't acting like Cadence. No offense, but is that the real Cadence? And when you said " Celestia lowered her head in guilt at Cadences words...." It's Cadence's, not Cadences. (Yes I know, I'm being really bossy and mean, demanding you to be perfect) but over all
Trixie! I vote Trixie!!!
That's creepy...
The advertisement at the bottom of this page is called Hypnosis in Story!
voting dash, and hypno fic definitely
to be honest, the 5 others are the best bet because of Celestia's plain, so i stay with Shy, as out of all of them she's the one that is the easiest to turn also she's also she's the one i would trust the most
I'm trying to remember the choices. I know Trixie, RD, Fluttershy, and Pinkie. My vote goes to the Great, and Powerful, TRIXIE!
ok then... it is 9: 23 EST and no one has voted on what to write so I won't write tonight. Also I just found out there is already a Sunset Shimmer OC and Dazzling OC story called Not A Monster... What should I do? I really want to write those stories but I'm worried You guys will see me as a rip off artist... What should I do? Please let me know what you all think.
sorry I deleted my previous comment that contained the voter options. Anyway to remind you all the options for the next hypno fic are. Twilight and Chrysalis, Spike and Rarity/Sweetie Belle, Twilight and Scootaloo, or any suggestion you guys give me. I won't be able to write anything until Saturday so please vote and let me know which one you want me to write.
5317272 I was thought the votes were for who will Nightmare Moon hypnotize to become Twilight's sister.
Trixie
You know...a fic with Spike hypnotizing Rarity into making her love him (like that rp) would be interesting...
Hah... You seem to have a fun idea here.
You seem pretty aware of the implications that this time period has on the story, which is very good for a new writer, especially one which starts with a project or story which will be longer than a one-shot. Like how Nightmare Moon was handicapped from acting from the moon, and thus had to prepare the invasion on Twilight's mind for a long time. Or how Twilight has no clue who Nightmare Moon is, as she really wouldn't know at this point. Or how Celestia was already on the way to work Twilight into a possible Element of Harmony. You do really well in that department. And I guess the concept of the story itself is interesting to some.
I urge you to keep that level of awareness and planning through any of your written works here. It makes for an infinitely better story. Really, the only thing holding the story back is the formatting and writing mistakes in general. I'd recommend you search for an editor of sorts: one that won't change the content of the story in the slightest, and would simply adjust visible mistakes or try to format the paragraphs, lines and dialogs in a more interesting fashion. Then, you don't need to worry as much with editting, and can instead try and make a cohesive narrative, which seems to be your forte. Keep up the good work!
Also, about your Character X OCs stories... Just because there is another story like it doesn't mean you would be ripping them off, especially since every OC is pretty different (or at least should be different), so you should go ahead and write them as you wish!
5321923
Thank you very much for the useful information I'll keep it in mind. Would you know of a way to find an editor without providing an email address, I'd like to keep that information private. And I'm glad that you think I'm keeping the timeline in check, one of the basics of writing in my opinion is making sure the timeline your writing in is accurate. Once again Thank you for your insightful information.
5322180
Well, for a story that is already posted like this one, no e-mail exchange should be necessary, and in case you want to run any newer chapters by the editor first, then, given they're on FimFiction, you can Private Message them the chapter as a whole and ask that they send back the chapter with whatever polish they can give it.
The more popular way to do it is sharing the chapter/story through Google Docs with the person, but that does involve e-mail exchange, I think, so it won't suit you.
If you don't know where to start looking for an editor, there's this group that comes to mind and might help you find one. There are other groups like that too, and a search through FimFiction will wield you some more results. If you say you prefer to do it all through FimFiction or elsewhere which isn't e-mail, there will appear people who are cool with that. Don't be afraid to ask for help: there are a good deal of capable writers and critics in this fandom. Best of luck to you.
5323211
Thank you for the Information! I shall search for an editor right now!... Or after I finish the first ones hot of my next story. A series of hypnosis one shot prompts that I hope will spin off into full fledged stories depending on which ones the readers like... Sorry if that sounds a little cheesy...
I vote for Dash.
Sorry i missed it but i hope its a hypno story its always fun. ehterway though they all sound like fun to read.
Voting for fluttershy
I'm still voting for Fluttershy
well i hope it isn't too late but i vote for Trixie beacuse she is one of the students of the magic acadamy but then i'd like to know what will be if Fluttershy assist Twilight in this battle of loyalty.
trixie has to be it she even already has moon in her name (trixie Lulamoon)
I Vote Rarity because that would be a good match and is there going to be more soon?
5470811
Yes there will be I apologize for the delay I have been busy with a lot of projects but don't worry
5513297
*facehoof* im an idiot....1 was obvious. Thanks sir or ms I really appreciate it
5513356
Ugh. Im a senior and I still forget contractions vs possessions...*facehoof* can't belive im this bad a writer
5513348 please do more chapters
I'm voting for Trixie
,because I don't think that Rainbow would be unloyal to her Ponyville friends and also the Shadowbolts??
Nope
.Trixie will be easier to convince and she's a unicorn,so she could learn some new magic,too.
Interesting story, I'm waiting for the continuation! Oh yeah, I vote for Rainbow Dash.
Trixie
*poke*
7273612
*poke poke*
7678906
*pokes again*
*poke again*
well this chapter puts celestia and cadance in a worse light than nightmare moon wow i am now rooting for nightmare moon to win this what celestia and cadance are doing is way more sinister than what nightmare moon. also i vote starlight glimmer.
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https://www.fimfiction.net/blog/805273/about-this-particular-story