This is my first attempt at writing clop, so please give feedback.

I'd like to explain the character tags, just so those of you looking for specific characters aren't confused or disappointed: Twilight will remain the viewpoint character, but she will be encountering all of her friends, as well as Discord, again. I will be adding one more character once he/she is encountered, as the addition now would constitute a bit of a spoiler.

Again, my first time writing clop. I don't normally go for these sorts of things, but an outline suddenly came together in my mind. No amount of effort could make it go away.

502229 I don't read that much clop, but seeing as you asked for feedback, I thought I should comment anyway. I can't see any spelling/grammar mistakes, so it's all clear on the technical side of things.

My personal feelings on this story? Well, I'm not a massive fan of clop, and tentacles aren't realy what I'm into (I leave that to Japan!). Even so, I managed to read this chapter all the way through, which is a rare occurance for me, as, like I said, I don't ussualy read clop fics. In all, I think this is a pretty good job for a first attempt. I probably won't track this story, but you can have my thumbs up nonetheless.

please continue the story as i can't wait to find out what happens next.

this is going on my watch later simply for the epic cover pic

Can't wait to see what happens next! You did great on writing your first clopfic! Just one question: Is there going to be more clop in this story?

I don't really like clopfics but I really like this story!

More plz

503770
There will be more clop, but it will be gradually increased. Gotta work up to the climax, you know.

503647
My thanks.

503658
Oh, don't worry. This story idea has been stuck in my brain for far too long to NOT continue it.

........ Im reading this only because of the closeness to my account name, on the upside it aparently promises sex and strageness from discord so win all around..... ya no maybe

505570
Very fair, and all useful points. I'll try to work on all of that in future chapters. To be honest, I was rather worried about the swearing, and it seems it didn't play well. Oh well. Lessons learned.

I'll definitely try to get more into description. I see your point about that. My writing tends to be somewhat terse, probably thanks to my small background in journalism; we're "all tell, no show" there.

Thanks for seeing enough promise to leave feedback and continue to follow. It's nice to see I'm not alone in liking tentacle on pony action.

it'll be interesting to see where this goes,

Dark? Don't you mean Comedy? "Help, Twilight, I'm starting to like it!" Who says that?

507644
Comedic relief =/= a comedy tag

I actually, really liked this!!!
I'm totally not going to clop to this, *cough cough*

502229 *slow clap* Well done, psychological torture combined with clop. Two things that without physical torture can't be accomplished. Well done.

I exspected darkness and gore.....

I had been lucky not to end up partway through the wall, my rear to the monstrosity that would have gladly used and abused it.

FORESHADOWING FOR THE WIN!