I'm just a simple poet trying to break into prose. Lets see how that turns out.
After her humiliating defeat at the the royal wedding, the Changeling Queen Chrysalis vows vengeance. After learning from her past mistakes she plans to bring ruin down upon those who wronged her. Is a new dark-age dawning in Equestria?
*Author's notes*
This is my first fic, don't expect high art. While I'm a fairly prolific poet, this is my first foray into prose. Do be gentle.
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I can't say that I liked the story
, not really my cup of tea. I can't bring myself to give you a thumbs up...sorry, but I will be looking for anything else you decide to write.
Have you thought about doing an epic poem? I think I would like to see something like that.
hey Zincy, it's me Dystopian-god. congrats on getting this story here finally
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there were a few words missing here and there, but overall it's a good story.
it was a good read. i give it a thumbs up.
It was ok. I think Luna lost a bit too quickly though. Also a little odd the other four didn't have a breakout or attempted breakout scene. Basically I think it would be more fun to read with an 'extended cut' revision. The Celestia battle was quite enjoyable.
I lol'd at Chrysalis channeling Rarity out of nowhere though.
Also way to be he hero, Rainbow CRASH
images.wikia.com/mlp/images/e/e6/Hoops_Thumb.JPG
hyurhuerhurhurhur
Just had to throw that in there.
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I'm a poet by trade, not used to writing overly long things. I was worried that I had rushed it a bit, but I also feared drawing it out would make it boring. I might pull a Bioware and release additional content to fill in the gaps.
506591
Still figuring this site out, finally figured out how to reply. Thanks dude, glad people like it. Here's hoping my skills at prose improve.
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Well, I've seen quite a LOT of bad fics here, a good amount of them even featured. Trust me even for a first foray it's pretty darn nice! It just felt like it was 'edited for primetime TV' with the shortness of a couple parts clipped for ad space.
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I guess I subconsciously tried to make it feel like a dark Saturday morning cartoon, condensed. I can explain one part however, as to why the other 4 didn't try and escape. I figured with RD gone, and Twi under Chry's control the other 4 just felt defeated. They had always been a team, relying on each other, and when that team is dismantled so badly it breaks their will. But I guess I should have elaborated on their current mental state, I took for granite that I knew what was going on...forgot the audience aren't mind readers lol.
Now that you mention it, I wonder what ad's would play during something like this.
I love it, this was a good read, and I hope you'll keep writing. You have talent. ^-^
sorry.. bad with words today xD