• Member Since 11th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen April 27th

Obscure


Comments ( 9 )

Hold the phone who the hell is this bon bon

This is quite look. I like your writing style. Although I do not quite like the topic itself, it is written well so you have my like. Good work

503386 And are you trolling or do you seriously not know who Bonbon is?

Nice quick read, tugged on the heartstrings, and a bit of a mystery. Well, its pretty obvious what the other lover is, though.

Great all around.

503414 he may mean who the other one is. Which might mean that he hasn't seen the Royal Wedding yet. Because, unless I'm way off-base, Its pretty conclusive who the new bonnie is.

You do good one-shot shorts, as I said in the IRC. I like your storytelling, from both these and your comics.

This was a great story! The pacing was perfect, and it was just the right length. I really, really enjoyed this. You should consider submitting it to Eq:D... I bet you would get a lot more views if it were featured.

I did notice one grammatical mistake, however:

"So Lyra did what seamed reasonable at the time." Should be Seemed, rather then Seamed.

I didn't like it. The writing wasn't all that exceptional as the other people who commented said. The unfurling plot is nice, but you simply thrust the readers into a situation we're not familiar with and you don't explain anything to us.
Not things like "Who was the other Bonbon?", no. Things like, what the fuck is going on? We enter in a story and we leave it without having any "contact" with the characters.

... What. :applejackconfused:

I didn't understand this at all. What the hell just happened? Can't you make the monologue scene where Bonbon explains what was happening to Lyra?

2128006
I hear you. I also have no clue what is going on. I would also like to know what happens next.

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