Pancakes

One-Shots18,888 stories ·2,368 members

Pancakes

Lyra is about to find out more truth then she might like. Also a Love Square.

Chapters (1)

Comments ( 9 )

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fabianguzman18

fabianguzman18 #1 · Apr 26th, 2012 · · ·

Hold the phone who the hell is this bon bon

Sorren

Sorren #2 · Apr 26th, 2012 · · ·

This is quite look. I like your writing style. Although I do not quite like the topic itself, it is written well so you have my like. Good work

503386 And are you trolling or do you seriously not know who Bonbon is?

Agarwaen

Agarwaen #3 · Apr 26th, 2012 · · ·

Nice quick read, tugged on the heartstrings, and a bit of a mystery. Well, its pretty obvious what the other lover is, though.

Great all around.

503414 he may mean who the other one is. Which might mean that he hasn't seen the Royal Wedding yet. Because, unless I'm way off-base, Its pretty conclusive who the new bonnie is.

Im_not_sue

Im_not_sue #4 · Apr 27th, 2012 · · ·

You do good one-shot shorts, as I said in the IRC. I like your storytelling, from both these and your comics.

Pony Paradox

Pony Paradox #5 · May 2nd, 2012 · · ·

This was a great story! The pacing was perfect, and it was just the right length. I really, really enjoyed this. You should consider submitting it to Eq:D... I bet you would get a lot more views if it were featured.

I did notice one grammatical mistake, however:

"So Lyra did what seamed reasonable at the time." Should be Seemed, rather then Seamed.

Lucefudu

Lucefudu #6 · May 5th, 2012 · 3 · ·

I didn't like it. The writing wasn't all that exceptional as the other people who commented said. The unfurling plot is nice, but you simply thrust the readers into a situation we're not familiar with and you don't explain anything to us.
Not things like "Who was the other Bonbon?", no. Things like, what the fuck is going on? We enter in a story and we leave it without having any "contact" with the characters.

Nima55