• Member Since 9th Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen 2 hours ago

hielispace


Just a dude

Sequels1

T

Twilight went to sleep with everything being fine. When she woke up, she would come face to face with Sombra once more, but this time, he has an offer. One she would love to refuse. If only she could.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 16 )
Comment posted by hielispace deleted Nov 11th, 2014

theres quit a few of these corrupted twi fics..not all of them are done well. personally id like to see you do more to see if u can avoid the bad twi corruption fics and bring forth and incredible read.

I like this! Its dark! Some dark twilight fics are just :pinkiesick:

Lovely. I do like this story.

Twilight what the... *slaps face* OMFGA

Sneaky little pony
poor sombra
The feels

Ok.... Not much I can say but LOVE IT!! So Dark, and Twilight was already a princess so its so much more time later than Crystal Empire, at least some time after the ending of season 3. Her acceptance of Sombras Deal followed right after with her killing him right after seems to mark (in my opinion) either a still deep desire for good or a desire to be rid of any later rivals. all in all, I CAN"T WAIT FOR MORE!!! CUPCAKES!! =^.^=

5314284 noice. Let's check it out

5314305 yeah, I'm digging the vibe. Though this and the sequel should a probably been one thing

This was entirely too short for what you're trying to do. The dialogue feels stilted and off. Twi's reactions aren't in character in the least... She's got literally no motivation to even listen to Sombra, let alone go along with what he's saying. On that note, some of your wording and spelling is off too. I'd like this if it didn't feel like you'd taken something that should have been a full length story and gave us some cliff notes.

I... Highly doubt she would have let herself be corrupted this easily... she's practically supposed to represent morality and intelligence she would see through his lies easily in point of the good that the princesses have done and she doesn't care about power she cares about her friends.

This is one of the decent "Evil Twilight" stories. I especially liked the ending; I was not expecting that.

Hey there! I really enjoyed your story! I made a reading of it if you want to check it out! :raritystarry:
YouTube Reading

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