• Member Since 21st Sep, 2014
  • offline last seen Nov 16th, 2022

StoneWare13


Hey everypony iam stoneware am an artist from canterlot.

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This year is fluttershy's turn to have a hearth warming eve party with her friends and one very special friend

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 16 )

Really Good So Far, Theres A Few Spelling Mistakes But Other Than That Its Fine :yay: Cant Wait For More Chapters :heart:

I like can't what for more :)

Wow over 100 views in under 12 hours thank everyone

I am open to any thorghts you have I would love to know what you think :)

'A Gift Of Chaos' is another Fluttercord story I always love coming back to every time. :yay:

This was hard for me to read past the beginning. Run-on-sentence after run-on-sentance after run-on-sentence. Paragraphs are made up of multiple sentences, not one really long sentence filled with camas, several of those needed to be periods. Once I got past that error though, the story was good. But run-on-sentences are no bueno

Same thing I said last chapter, good, but almost every "paragraph" is just a run-on-sentence. Also, both chapters had their fair share of grammar errors, misspelling, and in honesty, the story could have been executed better. So it was good, but not the best it could be.

Don't be put down by anything I said though, that just means you have room for improvement and there's nowhere to go but up!

Ok thanks I am still new to this kinda stuff and I am sure I will improve thanks

There are mistakes, but no one is perfect.

*groans* :facehoof:. I only just started reading this and I already found several mistakes.

A a simple cottage on the outskirts of ponyville is where our story begins...

Delete the second "A" and the elipsis is not needed.

Shimmering snow flakes fell outside, landing sofley

softly

on the earth below, minty

Misty. And this word should be starting a new sentence so replace the comma with a period.

cold air coves

covers

the land like a blanket as the show

snow

reflexes

reflects

the light from celestia's rising sun sending silver streaks of light across twisted bark of the once green trees.

I'm not even going to finish reading this until you get a proofreader to go over it.

And here's a tip for you. Don't use commas unless you're describing a series of events, items, or actions.

In your second paragraph you have it all as one long sentence interspersed with commas when it should be three seperate sentences.

Also you failed to place a comma before the two instances of the word but which is the only place it was needed.

5262865 A few?!. I had to stop reading at the first paragraph because it was so god awful messed up with gramatical errors that I had to comment on it.

5365196 What he/she said.

Despite all the spelling mistakes, all the gifts for everyone are cute and makes sense. Twilight can't conceive of giving something other than books, can't she? LOL.

6741899
The same with Pinky, don'the they always get cupcakes from there. I'm suprised she didn't change it up and get them, I don't know.....something other than what they can get every day?!? Bookhorse is understandable but Pinkie is un-Pinkie-dictable!:pinkiehappy:

Your English is...um..Hey! Um..was it your first language?:twilightblush:


Did that sound rude..?:unsuresweetie:
It did didn't it!:applecry:
I'm sorry.:fluttershyouch:

Fluttershy lips where softer that cocotte candy clouds and tasted sweeter that any berry he had ever tasted.

Coco Ette?
Some kind
of human
chocolate
perhaps?
:unsuresweetie:









(Read using Female British voice)

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