• Published 8th Nov 2014
  • 690 Views, 45 Comments

Twilight Sparkle Steps in a Bear Trap and Other Silly Tales! - Protopony350



BEAR TRAP! TANK! AN EXPLODING STAR! A series of silly oneshots done really really stupidly

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The Moochick Finds a 20 Dollar Bill

One fine day in the magical world of Ponyland, the Dream Castle was on freaking fire!

Baby Lickety-Split ran from the castle in pure terror as her mane burst into magical death flames!

"AAAAAAAGAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAGAAAAAA!" She said as she fell to the ground and turned to bones.

"I'LL SAVE THE DAY!" Yelled Ribbon as she collapsed on the ground and went to sleep.

Well a bunch more ponies all fire, but Ribbon was able to send a distress call to The Moochick!

Unfortunately it was like 2 in the afternoon so he wasn't asleep, so the message went to his sleepmail box.

Well The Moochick was completely oblivious to what was going on, so he decided to go to the mall!

It was a fun filled day, and The Moochick even got to go to the arcade, but it was getting late, so he decided to head home.

The Moochick went to sleep, and oh boy was he in for some horrors!

"PLEASE HELP US WE'RE ALL ON FIRE!"

"PLEASE HURRY THE CASTLE JUST EXPLODED!"

"OH COME ON THIS IS GETTING STUPID!"

"OH GREAT FIZZY JUST TURNED TO BONES THIS WHOLE THING HAS TURNED INTO A BIG HEADACHE!"

And after that all he heard was dial tones.

Well he wanted to go see if he could help, but he was REALLY tired so he stayed in bed until morning.

Well he got out of bed and took a leisurely stroll over to the dream castle.

It was just as he feared. All ponies are now bones.

"Oh dear, how could this HAPPEN?" He asked the bones of Firefly.

She didn't answer.

"Oh no, ANOTHER firefly that was killed before its time!" said The Moochick and he looked right at the screen as he said it.

Well he looked around to find the source of the dead ponies, but found nothing.

"Oh dear, what could have caused this?" He asked the mass pony grave.

It was at that moment that he noticed that the sun was like 10 times hotter than it should be.

"Oh no, is it those darn Equestrians again? Last time those stupid horses blocked out the sun, now they're super heating the sun?" He was mad.

So it was decided! He would march right over to Equestria and give them a talking to!

He made it about 10 miles, but he saw something on the ground.

"Oh boy 20 dollars!" he said.

And he kept walking.

Well it was a long walk, and it took him about 376 years, and the sun grew hotter the entire time.

At last he had made it to Equestria.

The first thing that confused him was the giant turtle statue. The next thing was the OTHER giant turtle statue. Something was wrong.

"I've got to find one of the princesses!" He said, but just at that moment a squad of Turtle drones flew by.

"What has happened to Equestria?" He asked himself.

He decided to take refuge in an old burnt up tree.

"I hope I'll be safe here." The Moochick said.

"YOU?" Asked Twilight Sparkle.

"YOU?!?!?" Asked The Moochick in surprise. "What's going on?"

"Everything has fallen apart! One minute I'm in the woods, the next all of Equestria is owned by a Turtle, and the sun is only HOURS from exploding!" Said Twilight.

"That's awful! We must do something!" And after that The Moochick pulled out his six shooter.

"Tonight we dine on turtle soup!" He said.



------------------------------



Tank sat on his throne in Canterlot.

"My king, you have a phone call!" Said my bat pony OC who was really cool and had a scar and a missing eye.

Tank answered the phone, and his blood ran colder.

"All has gone according to my plan!" Said the voice on the phone.

"Turtle sounds." Said Tank.

"This Solar System is a small price to pay. Soon my power shall spread throughout the galaxy!"




==================================================================


The Moochick and Twilight Sparkle didn't have a plan in the slightest.

"So uh what do we do?" Asked Twilight Sparkle.

"I have no idea. Who is behind this anyway?" Asked The Moochick

"I missed most of it, but I heard something killed Princess Luna. Also Dr.Claw covered Equestria in a sheet and made Princess Celestia super heat the sun!" Said Twilight who was taking this pretty well.

"Wait, doctor claw would never.....oh no!" The Moochick figured it out!

So they began the journey up a mountain.


-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

So the climb was uneventful and they made it to the top.


"What IS this place?" Asked Twilight.

"It's her lair!" He said, pistol in hand.

"SO YOU'VE FOUND ME!" Said a loud voice.

The sound of buzzing overtook them.

"Queen Bee, I knew it was you!" Said The Moochick.

"Who else could orchestrate such a plot? I killed Luna! I forced Dr.Claw to trick Celestia by telling him I'd kill all the puppies! I ordered Tank to kill Celestia! It was ME! IT WAS ME ALL ALONG!" Said Queen Bee.

"But why? Why destroy the planet?" asked The Moochick

"Think back all those years ago......you already know the answer!" She said.

The Moochick's eyes widened.

"The core!" He said.

Twilight Sparkle wasn't really doing anything by the way.

"Yes my old friend! When the sun explodes, it shall expose the core of the earth!" She said while laughing.

"Wait, what?" Asked Twilight.

"Don't you see? It's always been the endgame! She can spread it all over the galaxy now!" said The Moochick in tears.

"Spread WHAT?" Asked Twilight.

Queen Bee flew into the air.

"MY SWEET SWEET HONEY BEE HONEY!" And at that moment the sun started to expand.

The Moochick and Twilight jumped at her, but it was too late.

Queen Bee dug under ground.

Twilight turned to ash.

The Moochick stared into the sky. He had lost.

The sun exploded, destroying the solar system.

All that remained was the core of the planet, and Queen Bee.

"NOW GO!" She ordered.

Billions of labeled jars of Sweet Sweet Honey Bee Honey flew in every direction.

She would infect every planet in the galaxy.

She would continue her delicious conquest.

The Sweet Sweet Honey Bee Honey could not be stopped.



THE END

Comments ( 16 )

Sweet Sweetie Honey Bee was always my favorite Lovecraftian deity.

"Oh no, ANOTHER firefly that was killed before its time!"

derpicdn.net/img/2013/3/23/277334/large.png

Said my bat pony OC who was really cool and had a scar and a missing eye.

derpicdn.net/img/2015/6/5/910338/large.png

The Sweet Sweet Honey Bee Honey could not be stopped.

THE END

derpicdn.net/img/2012/7/13/42987/large.jpg

Said my bat pony OC who was really cool and had a scar and a missing eye.

If I hadn't already upvoted, that's where it would have happened. Right there.

"Turtle sounds." Said Tank.

scontent-lga1-1.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-xpf1/v/t1.0-9/s720x720/10487200_606008836169194_4622171336353725335_n.png?oh=b54170e805c31d5aef23dba0ef5c59e6&oe=561258E6

6241473
Funny, I was thinking of a different Firefly....
i.ytimg.com/vi/O-Ll5zaPcIE/0.jpg

6242239

That's the firefly he found dead.

6242229

*thank you for upvoting sounds* said me.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

Good end! :D

6241473
Yes, all of this.

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

6705437

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

6705437

I ALMOST FAINTED FROM LAUGHING AT TURTLE SOUNDS OH HOLY CRAP!

PresentPerfect
Author Interviewer

6705460
Literally the whole reason I wanted to read this (other than it was funny as shit) was to get someone with a deep voice to read that line.

6705437 6705447
Oh my Luna. You have killed me. I am ded.

The good news is that changelings can't die, so I can now prove that I'm not a changeling. The bad news is that I'm ded.

In conclusion, "TURTLE SOUNDS" needs to be a meme.

:twilightoops: Well... any story where the Moochick dies in a fire is tops with me!

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