The Great Princess Race

by TheGreatEater

Chapter 1

Princess Twilight had been having a rough couple of weeks after the Plunder Seeds hatched, threatened to destroy Equestria as she knew it, and most worst of all. Even more worse than getting used to the confusing, stubborn, overly sensitive, in more ways than one wings. Was the fact that she randomly ejected seatbelts in times of stress, with which being a new Princess, was more often than not and controlling them popping out of her body was next to impossible.

Thankfully she had amazing friends and along with Spike urged her to ask the other Princess about how to control that new bodily function. It was several long minutes later when they finally received a message asking them all to come to Canterlot since it would be easier to respond face to face rather than dragon missive. Unfortunately this had the opposite intended effect for Twilight's mood.

"Oh Celestia! I'm going to die aren't I! I got some weird alicorn cancer! I knew it, with all of these strange growths, and how those things keep popping out ... I can't die now! I just became a pretty, purple, pony princess!" Twilight wailed.

The other Element Bearers gave her an emergency hug and Applejack said, "Ah doubt that's what's happening. It's probably something embarrassing is all, and we'll find out what it is tomorrow Sugarcube."

"Yeah Twi you need to chill, remember all those other times you freaked out after jumping to conclusions? And you'll have us with you so you have nothing to worry about," Rainbow Dash said with trademark Discord-May-Care smirk.

"Okay ... thanks girls. I'll be fine now," Twilight said enjoying the sphere of pony-love.

***

The Mane Six decided to take the Cutie Mark Crusaders with them, since Sweetie like usual was dropped onto Rarity's withers, and Apple Bloom had been busy on the farm Applejack brought her along for all her hard work. And with those two being brought along Rainbow Dash brought Scootaloo so her awesome honorary sister wouldn't be left out of the fun.

And with them was Spike on Twilight's back playing happily with Twilight's Seatbelt straps. Twilight looked at Spike and whined, "Spi~ike! Stop playing with my thingies, it makes me feel weird and ponies are staring!" She ended with a pout.

"But it's so fun seeing you get all clicky ... Hey girls! I know unicorns' have a magic lever on their tails that makes spells come out depending on how you play with it, and apparently Alicorn's have seatbelt thingies. But what do pegasi and earth ponies have?"

"Easy, Rainbow Dash said it's -" Scootaloo said excitedly before Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash muffled the rest with their hooves.

"That's personal!" Fluttershy said is an embarrassed squeak that was only a few decibles louder than a whisper. While Rainbow Dash was looking around to make sure no pegasi were around to overhear Scoots spill the Pegasi's greatest secret.

"Well that's a whole tub full of suspiciousness," Applejack said with an eyebrow raised.

"Well what about you earth ponies huh!?" Rainbow Dash challenged.

"Easy remember how little Bloom made all those weird things appear out'a thin air? Or how we earth ponies pull things almost from nowhere?" AJ asked.

"Sure ..."

"And ever hear that earth pony sayin', 'pulled something out of one's flank'?"

"Yeah, where are you going with this?"

"Well us earth ponies have magic pockets in our flank where we can pull stuff out of, someponies like Pinkie here have multiple pockets all over her adorable pink body."

Twilight looked at Applejack and hesitantly placed her hooves on her flank and thinking about another weird thing on her body when her hoof slid in, drawing a shudder as she felt something slimy coat her leg, as she withdrew it and after smelling it and giving it tentative lick, looked at her hoof in confusion. Wondering why her pocket was filled with chocolate pudding.

Apple Bloom smiled and said innocently, "Silly Twilight, you don't hide pudding in your flank, what'll ponies think if they see your hoof full of slimy, brown stuff?"

To which she got her answer in the reply of a chorus of ponies throwing up as they passed by and got the entirely wrong idea of Twilight's dripping brown hooves. Before Twilight fainted from shock squashing Spike with her increased Alicorn mass.

***

Twilight woke up with the other three Alicorn Princesses sat around looking sympathetically at her, "Hello Twilight, you've made quite the entrance," Celestia said wih a small smile.

"I'm so sorry, I didn't know my whatever that was would be filled with chocolate pudding," Twilight said panicking.

"Don't worry Twilight, while the Great Vomit Flood will be forever remembered as the greatest flood of Canterlot. But every Alicorn has at least one pocket mishap. And I think it was hilarious that it was caused over chocolate pudding," Celestia chuckled humorously, "at the very least we made sure that they put down it was pudding in the newspapers yesterday?"

"Yesterday how long was I out?" Twilight asked in a panic.

Cadance placed hoof over Twilight's own, "You need to breathe and you've been out for two days."

"Are they still cleaning up the you know?" Twilight asked, "Oh and how's Spike?'

The Princesses looked at each other apprehensively, and after a heated argument dictated solely by facial expressions and ear flicks. An apprehensive Luna responded, "Now you need to promise not to freak out."

"Ooookay?"

"So we aren't saying you're fat, or need to go on a diet, or that your mostly sedentary lifestyle hasn't made you slightly less out of shape than my dear sister who gave birth to the word thunder thighs -"

"Hey! That was ages ago, I haven't needed to go on a diet since the paleopony era," Celestia interrupted indignantly.

"From what we read that's because you avoid the Royal Physician like the plague unless you get ill, or are dragged kicking and screaming by a platoon of guards," Luna replied offhoovedly, "nonetheless dear Twilight you smooshed poor Spike so badly that he de-aged by several years, and made him much flatter. Our sister needed to spend all of her day two days ago returning him to normal.

"Also like our sister you need to go on a diet and be more active. Just because an Alicorn needs more food to fulfil our royal physique doesn't mean we can afford to be inactive."

"Lulu I'm not fat!" Celestia said sadly. To which Luna responded by play smacking Celestia's rotund flanks with a hoof causing it to jiggle, and jiggle, and jiggle some more, and start hypnotising the ponies in the room, Celestia included, by its continued jiggling. When it finally stopped Celestia replied, "that proves nothing."

"You're going on a diet sister, and you can't say I'm lying since I once held the Element of Honesty," Luna said in an air of finality, "As for cleaning up ..."

Twilight was in tears at being called fat by Luna only gave a sniffling nod, "Well as you know Caterlot is magic center of the world, and home to many magical items, components, and a gathering of magic users that are still growing into their magic. Suffice to say, the vomit somehow fused with a growth spell before the Canterlot Nobility randomly teleported the mass far from Canterlot as it could.

"So it's flooded Most of Equestria and ponies are now just starting to get rid of it. Only Canterlot being as high up as it is, has escaped the stinky, sticky, gut wrenching flood. But hopefully we shall recover from this soon."

"Can this day get any worse!" Twilight cried despairingly to the heavens.

Author's Note:

I'll admit that this chapter ran away from me when Spike asked what to the other ponies have which was something that was a potential chapter title. As for the racial thing. I found it funny that Pinkie Pie could use Twilight's tail to rapid fire spell bolts like a gatling gun.

Earth Ponies, well the term, "Pulled out of your butt", sounds better as "pulled out of your flank". And it brings up a good point of where all those random props earth ponies pull out of nowhere come from. My thoughts, Hammerspace, wishing portals. Fueled by need, imagination, and ignoring equine anatomy. Got an extra bit of inspiration from Doctor Whooves and Assistant [forgot which episode ponies have pockets].

Pegasi havethis load of fun.

But yes future chapters will have some quite interesting events. So far I'm planning four chapters past this one. It'll be updated randomly and if I feel that it needs more chapters than five chapters it'll grow to the ultimate conclusion, and I have no editors or pre-readers for this chapter.

And yet another fic I made that made me simultaneously laugh and know I'm going to tartarus for making this fic.

Comments

[Majin Syeekoh]

I'm not even reading this.

I'm upvoting and faving it just based on the fact that I helped inspire you.

[TheGreatEater]

5242572

Thanks , that fic of yours deserved every upvote it got, and was a hilarious, bite-sized read .

[Biker_Dash]

DAFUQ?

[Hillbe]

As Twilight passed out an air bag in her neck deployed on impact.

If pressurization is lost a mask will deploy from her mane.

An inflatable life raft is located under both wings.

Please secure your trays in the upright position on take off.

[TheGreatEater]

5254966

Actually her wings act as floatation devices, and only Celestia is built with the snack tray option. Luna opted to upgrade into BatSplosions, and Cadance's Toss-a-Princess minigame caused her to lose her tray privileges after a certain incident. XD.

[Hillbe]

5256178 They need lots of CUP HOLDERS!

[TheGreatEater]

5256920

But then where would they hold their upgrades or Celestia's cake stash? But don't worry chapter 2 or 3 [depending on when my tablet decides to freeze up] will show the most marvelous of things pre-hotrod Twilight.

[Hillbe]

5257000 junk in the trunk!

[TheGreatEater]

5257615

derpicdn.net/img/2013/1/23/221741/full.jpg

Celestia has enough of a trunk for everypony.

[bpaul297]

["Lulu I'm not fat!" Celestia said sadly. To which Luna responded by play smacking Celestia's rotund flanks with a hoof causing it to jiggle, and jiggle, and jiggle some more][Homer: Woo hoo look at that blubber fly!]