Regarding Bonus Chapters: Ponyville Arc
REGARDING AN INCIDENT THAT WILL REMAIN NAMELESS
Something happened a few days ago. An incident I’ve been trying to forget.
I’ve thought of omitting the entry from the journal completely, but since I’m the only one that’ll ever read this blasted thing, maybe it’ll allow me to understand the oddity a little more. Or perhaps it’ll allow me to move past the event and forget that horrifying time when my… well, let’s start from the beginning.
I awoke one sunny afternoon having taken a nap on Fluttershy’s couch—a more and more familiar sight. Something about the way she kept so busy during the days with her constant animal care and little songs just made me tired, perhaps because of how taxing it all looked to do.
Yawning, I stretched out my legs and went to the washroom to straighten each wayward hair that I knew would be attempting to escape from the rest of my mane. I patted down my head and, still a little groggy, I left the washroom without fully realizing what had changed. A few steps from the door, I stopped and blinked.
I chuckled. “No, that can’t be right.”
Usually my standard deep-baritone chuckle soothed me like no other sound, but this time it sounded much higher in pitch. And now what I thought I saw in the mirror seemed a lot more real than before.
Still, I was a stickler for denying the existence of most everything I didn’t like.
I tried clearing my throat. “I am Sombra.”
The words were mine, but the voice was not. Much too light. Much too sweet.
I swallowed and purposely tried lowering my voice. “I am Sombra and I shouldn’t be talking like this.”
Sadly, it couldn’t mask the new timbre of my voice.
I took a deep breath and went back to the washroom, ignoring the mirror for a moment. Steeling myself, I faced my reflection and yelped at what I saw. Perhaps most annoying of all, I found I couldn’t even scream normally.
I heard Fluttershy from the doorway. “Sombra? Who was that yelling? Did you invite someone over?”
“I…” I started, before fear took hold and I slammed the washroom door shut. I tried to lower my voice again. “I can’t talk right now, Fluttershy. Give me a moment and I’ll get back to you.”
She came to stand outside the door. “Who’s in there? Where’s Sombra? Is someone playing a prank, because I really don’t like those, especially when they involve ponies breaking into my house to use my washroom. Unless, that is, you really needed to use it, in which case that’s all right.” She paused for a moment. “Is there enough soap in there? Do you have enough towels?”
I couldn’t take my sight off my new face. My chiseled good looks replaced by a rounder, smoother, more feminine frame. I stood several inches shorter, and even my mane and tail seemed to have an extra curl and airiness to them. With a hoof, I prodded myself, unsure of what to expect. All I know is that my coat had never felt so soft.
My pupils shrunk when I thought of something else that might have changed.
“Oh, please no.”
One trembling hoof went below the innocent view of the mirror and came back having grabbed nothing. My mouth trembled as my ears fell flat against my skull.
I told my delicate reflection, “I’m a mare.”
Fluttershy knocked on the door. “If it’s not too much trouble when you’re done, could you please leave my house or at least tell me who this is?”
I looked at the door gravely. “It’s… umm…” I hadn’t a clue what to say. “It’s Sombra.”
“You don’t sound like Sombra.”
“Well… something’s happened, you see.”
“Something washroom related?”
I turned back to the mirror, poking at my new face. Already I missed my old muzzle… along with several other things.
“No,” I said. “Well, maybe. I don’t know. Look, if I open the door, can you swear to me you won’t panic?”
Fluttershy thought for a moment. “If this really is Sombra, then there shouldn’t be anything to panic about.”
I gulped. “All right.”
Hesitantly, I unlocked the door and exited. A smiling Fluttershy stood at the ready, any problem clearly labeled as solved in her mind. Then she caught sight of me—the new me—and I thought that maybe this was something that didn’t happen all that much.
She put a hoof to her mouth. “Sombra, what happened? You’re… you look like—”
“A mare,” I finished flatly. Perhaps cutely—I’m not sure. “I don’t know how, but…” I took a quick glance underneath me. “Yes, definitely a mare.”
Fluttershy’s pupils shrunk. “Were you trying some spell that could have done this? Or was Twilight trying one? I know from time to time she’s made a spell that hasn’t worked quite like it should.”
I shook my head, the tips of my mane swaying gracefully. “No spell, at least by my count. But I really should—”
Knock-knock-knock.
Fluttershy turned to the noise. “I wonder who that could be.”
My stomach turned to ice. I closed my eyes. “Not him. Anyone but him.”
Someone called from outside the house. “Hello in there? Is my special somepony ready for our gloriously tantalizing evening together?”
Fluttershy went to the entrance and opened the door. Outside, Discord stood with a small bouquet of wilted flowers and a large box of chocolates. Without a word he entered and looked around the room.
“Now where is she, that special mare of mine?”
I entered the living room and my blood boiled. I ground my teeth together, noticing the complete lack of fangs for the first time.
Discord put both hands to his chest. “There she is! Pretty as a picture that’s fallen off the hook. You ready to go, or do you need to freshen up first? I know you mares tend to take some time getting ready. But don’t take too long now. I’m only immortal.”
Shaking from pure hatred and rage, I turned to Fluttershy. “Is there anything you’d like to say to Discord before I murder him right in front of you, Fluttershy? Some parting words, perhaps?”
Fluttershy gasped. “Well, actually, I’d rather you didn’t kill him, if you don’t mind.”
I shook my head. “Nope. Sorry. Not this time. He’s gone a little too far with this one. I’m a mare right now. And truthfully, that’s not something I’d ever thought I’d need to say during my lifetime.”
Fluttershy stood between Discord and I. “But, Sombra, you… you really make a nice looking mare.”
Now I was choking on the unfiltered anger burning inside me. I grunted out, “Those types of facts aren’t really helping the situation, Fluttershy.”
“Oh.” She thought for a moment. “Maybe you just need to know the ins and outs of being a mare. We could always have a sleepover, if you wanted to. All six of us. It could be fun.” She actually smiled at the thought. “We could tell stories and stay up late and eat popcorn and—”
I told her sternly, “Still not helping, Fluttershy. And since I don’t want to see you covered in blood, I need you to go to the kitchen and far away from Discord. I’m about to remove his head from his body, and I would hate for you to be standing in the splash zone.”
Fluttershy glanced back and forth between us; Discord patiently watching with a sly smirk. She said softly, “Can’t we talk about this some more?”
Discord guided her towards the back of the house. “It’s all right, Fluttershy. Sombra’s just a little mad at the moment—maybe she chipped a hoof or something. But don’t worry your little head one bit. Sombra’s bark has always been worse than her bite. She’s just having a little temper tantrum, is all.”
So much blood had rushed to my face that I saw spots.
Fluttershy looked at both of us again, before she exited the living room and hid around the corner.
Once she was a safe distance away, I told Discord, “Change me back, so I may politely kill you as a stallion.”
He stroked his thin beard. “You tried that before, remember? I don’t die. I only come back much worse than before. It would be better if you accepted that fact already.”
I nodded. “Okay. Then it will be a mare that kills you today.”
I charged up my horn—a pulsing red light that made Discord close one eye.
He snapped his fingers and the spell dropped. “Now, now. I don’t want to fight. Not in Fluttershy’s living room, at least. And how, in all good conscience, could I ever bring harm to such a delicate little flower as you?”
I saw spots again. I screamed at him, “Give back what you have taken, dragon!”
He put a finger to his cheek. “You’re going to need to be more specific, I’m afraid.”
My left eye twitched. “You know what I mean! My things! My personal things! Give them back!”
“Don’t you like your new things?”
I screamed. Not as menacing as I’d hoped, but at least it cleared my head for a moment.
I asked him, “Then what do you want? Out with it!”
He smiled. “As I told you before, I want you gone from here. I want you far, far away where I won’t need to worry about you. Stop being friends with my friends, as simple as that. Promise me you’ll do that, and I’ll change you back.”
I took a step towards him. “And if I refuse?”
He chuckled. “Then you’re really not going to like what happens next.”
“Try me.”
He dropped his gifts to the floor and sat on the couch. “How does this sound, cutie pie? The only way I’ll drop the spell is when you find me again, in the very center of town.”
“That doesn’t sound hard.”
He chuckled again. “It’s not! But here’s what makes it hard. First: you’ll need to find me while as a mare. Second: if you use magic, I’ll consider that cheating and you lose. Third: every stallion in Ponyville will be on the lookout for you. Call it a sudden insatiable itch that only you can help them scratch. Or, if that sentence flew over your pretty little head, I’ve given every male in town a love spell—targeted towards you and you alone.”
My rage dissipated as I thought of every last stallion in town. Sure, the population favored mares over stallions, but that still left hundreds if not more of the opposite sex potentially looking for me. The thought of no magical abilities only added to my fear.
I went up to Discord, not capable of meeting his eyes. I whispered to him a single word that I think will haunt me until the end of my days.
I mumbled it to him.
He stuck his ear closer to me. “What was that now? I couldn’t hear you.”
I bit my tongue. “Mercy.”
“One more time, please.”
“Mercy!” I shouted. “This is too much! You’ve gone too far, Discord! Undo what you’ve done! I’m not prepared for something like this!”
He rapped his fingers against the table. “Then promise to leave this place. Forever. Go away and never come back.”
I said with bared teeth, “You know I can’t promise that.”
He shook his head. “Then I’m sorry, but it looks as though a quick trip through town is in order for the newest and fairest mare in all the land. Unless, that is, you encounter some trouble on your way over...”
I stepped away from him, the sight of his smirk causing my blood to boil all over again. The dots in my vision came back with force and I swayed along the floor—so much rage and anger that I didn’t even know where to begin.
I yelled to the heavens above. “Why, creator, why? I do not understand you! How can you allow such a horrible abomination upon this earth without a just and fair anti-creation in which to spite it? This cannot stand. A being such as Discord should never exist. You have gone too far this time and I do not wish to partake in this folly any longer. So strike him down! Do it now and rid the world of your mistake! Absolve the world of such a nuisance!”
My eyes darted from the roof to the top of Discord’s head, where I was sure a giant bolt of lightning would come crashing down, obliterating the bastard. Even Discord spared a few anxious glances to the ceiling, curious if he was about to be smitten from a spirit above.
When nothing of interest happened, he left the couch and stretched. “Got that out of your system? Good. I’ll see you in a bit.” He stuck his head out to me. “I know you must still be new to this whole mare business, so let me remind you that it’s dinner first and then something, something, something.”
I looked at him fretfully. “Why did you omit those words?”
“Because the imagination is so much worse than anything I could have come up with.” He gave me a wave. “Bye-bye now!”
Discord snapped himself from the room and I was left alone, breathing heavy and trying to clear away the dots dancing in my vision. I sat down on the floor, my new plot providing much more cushion than the last. It wasn’t a detail that abated my nerves.
Then someone tapped on the window.
“Fluttershy? Is someone in there with you?”
It was a stallion. One I didn’t recognize.
He knocked again, his shadow splayed along the glass. “Can I come in? I’m nearly positive there’s someone in there with you.”
Fluttershy came to my side. “I really should answer. It’s not polite to keep ponies waiting.”
She managed a single step towards the door before I pinned her against the ground. I might have lost most of my robust features, but my overall strength had been left intact.
I told her urgently, “You can’t, Fluttershy. They’re looking for me. All of them. Every single stallion in Ponyville. I need to find a way out of here and to the center of town.”
Fluttershy shook her head. “Oh, I’m sure if we just explain to them the situation, they’ll all realize there’s been a mistake and—”
Bang-bang-bang!
The stallion outside hammered against the door. “Fluttershy? Now I’m nearly positive there’s someone in there with you. I’d really like to meet them, if that’s all right, so we can something, something, something together.”
I extended a leg towards the door. “You see? They’re all out there! Preparing to do ‘something’ to me! I don’t want that and I don’t believe you want to pay for the therapy bills that’ll surely follow.”
Fluttershy looked at the door again. “Then what do we do?”
I told her, “You forget how clever I can be. Give me time and I’ll think of something that can’t possibly fail.”
REGARDING THE DELICACIES OF CARDBOARD
I looked out the two holes Fluttershy had cut along the front of the box. Already my mane was drenched from the heat trapped inside my small space and I was constantly wiping away sweat. The route I’d decided on was slow, but safe. Whenever I heard a group of stallions trot close by, I lowered to the ground and listened intently. Although I knew the length of the wheat stalks would conceal my new defense system without much trouble.
After pondering for a time, Fluttershy dug around in her storage shed and came back with an empty fridge box she’d kept since getting a new one. Re-taping the sides and folding it back into shape, I thought this might be my best chance at successfully sneaking through the masses.
While Fluttershy distracted the growing number of stallions at her door, I went out the back and entered the closest field. Once well past my head in the wheat stalk that bordered both sides of the road into town, I sluggishly began my journey. Along my trek, I wondered just how potent Discord’s love spell might have been.
As I heard a trio of stallions greet each other on the road, I lowered to the ground.
“What are you guys doing out here?” one of them said to the others.
“I’m not sure, really. I just got this sudden urge to come in this direction, almost like I’m searching for someone.”
“Me too.”
“Yeah, that’s the feeling I’m getting, like that certain someone I’m looking for could be in one of these fields around here, maybe hiding in a box or something.”
My mouth hung limp as I tried to stay silent. It wasn’t possible for them to think as coherently as that. Was it?
“Yeah, maybe in an old fridge box.”
It was then I was reminded Discord might be pulling a few more strings than he’d originally led on about.
A minute later, the stallions I had been listening to went in the other direction and I continued on. When I heard the flutter of wings, I angled my cumbersome box to the sky and found a group of pegasi circling up above in perfect unison. As much as I’d hoped it could have been just another normal flight for them, I knew damn well who they were combing the area for.
After what felt like hours, I finally made my way to the end of the fields and arrived near the head of town. I peered through my large eyeholes and found Ponyville about as cheerful as ever, smiles and grins and overall happiness abound. It didn’t seem like the stallions in town were as ecstatic as the ones along the road; although more than a few appeared energetic and uneasy, glancing from side to side in search of something unseen.
“Almost there,” I whispered, reminded once again of my new voice.
I will admit, it was cute. But I had been known as King Sombra, not Queen.
I saw my target at the very end of the street—the dead center of town. Even from such a distance away I could spot Discord at one of the outside tables of a café with a pair of shades on, sipping on a drink.
I would like to write in this journal that I’d never hated the fool more than at that moment, but truthfully, I’m almost certain he’ll do something worse to me in the future.
Carefully, I wormed my way out of the tall stalks and quickly sidled against the nearest building at the edge of the street. With my limited vision, I scanned around and found my cardboard security device, so far, unnoticed.
So far, so good.
Rounding a corner, I kept close to the ground and traveled along the fronts of shops, hopeful not to trip up someone going in or coming out. Four buildings later, when I got within shouting distance of Discord pleasantly munching on a cucumber sandwich, I surprised myself with a giggle. I know it wasn’t the best idea given the circumstances, but so far Discord’s arduous journey had been anything but.
Then it all came crashing down.
A small colt came bounding out the store I stood in front of, ramming head first into my cardboard cloak. Only looking out the two holes at the front, I was shoved to the side and tripped over my own legs.
With a dainty-sounding curse, I collapsed to the road and my fridge disguise fell away. I reached for it, but a fruit cart traveling up the street crushed it before I could get to it. With it gone, I got to my hooves to check if I’d been seen.
Short answer: yes.
“Ohhhhh!” said every stallion in the small vicinity.
“Don’t you dare ‘Ohhhhh’ me!” I yelled back, not as threatening as I’d hoped.
“Awwwww!” they responded, uncaring of my wishes.
A half-dozen stallions poured out of each shop, jaws limp and eyes wide and unblinking. A waiter stallion by the restaurant dropped every plate he had been holding and joined another small group that steadily made their way towards me. Soon, a circle of awestruck males closed in around me, curious who the new mare in town was. There must have been close to thirty or more.
As I watched a pegasus approach while licking his lips, I tasted the contents of my lunch make a break for it. Sadly, I didn’t believe even seeing their beauty covered in vomit would be enough to deter them.
Through a crack in the thick of mare-hungry dolts, I watched Discord lean back in his seat with a piece of chocolate cake on a plate. He was eating it, too.
I yelled to the enclosing crowd, “You so much as touch me and I won’t be held responsible for what happens!”
Still they approached; some mumbling sweet words while others merely drooled onto the road.
“Are you new in town?”
“What are you doing tonight?”
“Can I buy you a mineral water?”
“You remind me of a book I read recently. Its plot was amazing.”
The comments only got worse.
I bared my teeth at them. “So be it!”
Just as I got ready to buck the closest one with a solid kick, I felt a heavy hoof on my shoulder. Spinning fast, I glanced up and found someone I wish I hadn’t.
Eeyup Pony’s gentle face held a stern expression—that same determination he tackled most of his chores at home with. Seemed as though I’d become his latest chore to finish.
I looked at him with pity. “Et tu, Eeyup Pony?”
He thought for a moment, a gentle breeze blowing through his mane. He nodded. “Eeyup.”
Suddenly I was tackled to the ground, his sheer weight forcing the air from my lungs. By the time I pushed back, another stallion from the herd jumped atop of him, adding to the mass. Soon the sky was blotted from view, as more and more love-hungry stallions jumped atop the pile.
For anyone wondering around town, it must have made for quite a display.
Pressed firmly against the ground, I folded into a ball, keeping out of reach from grabby hooves. Eeyup Pony still laid overtop of me, his larger body serving as a makeshift shield against everyone else. Grunting from the strain, I managed to rise a few centimeters and then a few more. One hard shove upwards and I became ready to retaliate. I had only to say something first.
I turned to Eeyup Pony. “I’m sorry about this.”
Using every ounce of strength I held, I shot out my back legs into Eeyup Pony’s chest and watched him soar into the distance, another couple of stallions traveling alongside him. With more room to maneuver, I quickly spun and did the same to the other side of the pile, stallions with a lovelorn expression swiftly flying through the air.
Some landed in the road while a few thumped against second floor windows and awnings.
One dazed unicorn stared at me dejected. “I thought I was getting to know you.”
I ignored him and got to my hooves again, the thirty that had surrounded me turned to less than ten. Even after seeing the rest of their kind flung aside with little trouble, they charged anyways, still lusting for that something, something, something I had no intention of giving them.
I shoved them aside as they came, trotting the final few meters to the pleasantly sitting Discord, currently blowing on his after meal coffee.
I went up to his table. “I made it. Now, stop this insanity.”
Discord glanced up the street, dozens of limping ponies still headed in my direction.
“I guess you’re right.” He snapped his fingers, causing each stallion to halt in place and contemplate their actions over the last few minutes.
I pointed at my face. “I think you’re forgetting something.”
He smiled at me. “I don’t think so. Take a seat, you must be tired. I’m just glad this whole ‘love spell’ thing didn’t ruin our date.” He slid a menu over to me. “Don’t worry about the bill. I stole some bits from Celestia last time I was at the castle.”
At that point I was so exhausted I didn’t even argue.
I asked bluntly, “If I sit with you, you’ll change me back?”
His grin was close to dividing his face. “Certainly. Anything for such a catch.”
I sighed and pulled out a seat. I ordered the four most expensive things off the menu and a bottle of wine for my hooves only. I told them I wouldn’t need a glass.
By the time I’d finished eating everything, two waiters and a cook tried asking for a date.
Once I informed them I used to be a stallion, none of them seemed all that inclined to ask again.
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... this story has just now truly depicted a fate worse then death.
This chapter was hilarious.
Conscious should be conscience.
A very interesting side chapter. Definitely did not see this coming.
The funny thing is that if someone had the power to do the same thing to Discord, and he couldn't use magic -- a bet involved, or something -- Discord would probably treat it as a hilarious game of hide and seek/tag where he'd occasionally pop up behind stallions with a "Yoohoo!" or sticking a shapely leg out the side of a building, then run off.
But then, even without magic, Discord can climb. And possibly fly. (Not sure if he can do that without his chaos magic; his wings are pretty tiny for his size, and don't even really seem to be in the right place on his body most of the time.)
Julius Caesar reference!
Discord seems to want turned to stone again...
The best for Sombra is talk with Twilight and she talk with Fluttershy and she order to Discord. If Twilight don't understand, she could very well need to send a message to Shining, or suggest Twilight is she want to be a stallion with all mares after him.
I know some guys who wouldn't be dissuaded by that.
5676221
Giggity.
Not Eeyup pony how could discord do such a thing
5675385 I aim to please.
5675705 Thank you and corrected.
5675771 Discord would have a great time. He would be the focus of attention for a day and he could manipulate the rules as he saw fit. He could coerce stallions into vying for his attention by playing them off each other. "He bought me four things, you only bought me three." "He said I was pretty, are you saying I'm fat?" But the notion of something more powerful than Discord is frightening, which is why there's that small bit with Sombra asking for some spirit's/god's help in smiting him. (And even Discord was unsure what was going to happen.)
5677484
I suppose it wouldn't even have to be someone with more literal power than Discord -- just someone who he'd take seriously enough to make a bet with, who's powerful enough to enforce that he doesn't cheat, and who's enough of a troll to demand that particular forfeit.
I could see the bet resulting from Discord and Cadance getting drunk together ("And one time I turned Sombra into a girl and made all the stallions in Ponyville chase him!" "That's funny! But I bet you'd hate that if someone did it to you." "Would not." "Without using your magic?" "Without using my magic." "OK, you're on.") Not sure what they'd wager. Perhaps if Discord wins he gets to hang out with her and Twilight the next time she's supposed to hang out with Twilight ("Why are you dragging me into this?" "Because giving Discord the opportunity to win time with us prevents him from pretending to be sick again and just demanding it."), and if Cadance wins... I dunno, maybe she makes him do something embarrassing or maybe he has to use his magic to do something for her.
Celestia's enough of a troll, but making a bet with Discord that involves the concept of sex or romance in any way whatsoever might be dangerous territory for her considering their past. Luna appears to have mostly lost her sense of humor on the moon, and Twilight doesn't play pranks or make ridiculous bets. Rainbow Dash does, but good luck getting Twilight to enforce no cheating if it was Dash's idea.
5677859 Thank you so much for saying so! I've been very happy with the response so far, although it is a little weird. I've never considered myself a very humorous writer; more dark and depressing. But, hey, whatever works!
Couldn't resist crossing the streams eh?
Bit of reverse PoL potential there...
Poor, poor Sombra. He did his best Solid Snake impersonation in a quest to get his Solid Snake back.
5680330 Finally! Someone got the Metal Gear reference! Thank you!
5680734 Wasn't that hard of a reference. Plus great minds and all that.
Oh hell didn't realize it was over... Well I have to say you are one of the few authors that actually have a grasp on the character of Sombra and how i feel Sombra would act and genuinely be like. Very much enjoyed his inner monologues and his turn to good(ish) actually made allot of sense. Well done mate, hope to see more if you decide to advance the story further. You'll have my fully support
P.S I Feel i have to say this. (Sombra is best villain)
5683521 Thank you for saying so! Sombra is a lot of fun to write, whether scary or humorous. I'll have to see about a third part at some point, just as long as there's enough story to tell.
5687377 As long as you liked it.
5690350 I've been thinking about it.
5691277 You're in luck, then. Looks like you still have nineteen chapters left.
And suddenly... R 63 Sombra! I have to admit, i like it. i wonder if there are any more stories about "Her".
5696636 Oh, I'm sure there's already a 100k epic out there about the rise and fall of Queen Sombra.
Considering there's everything else already...
5697067 Well if there is, i haven't seen it.
5704109 I vote Team Celestia, 'cause ya know, stuffs...
5704070 Oh, you're going to hate me pretty soon.
Oh boy.
Oh jeez...
That's it. Give me your address and I promise there won't be sea nor mountain that will keep me from giving you several hundreds of pats on the back.
Holy crap.
5735057
Eeyup
Whelp there goes that fave.
Its at times like this I realize just how much of a fucking asshole Discord is.
Hah!
Yes, cling to that Teen rating as tightly as you can…
I wonder how often he get's called that, that he responds to it unquestioningly
DISCORD!!!!!!
Okay, why does Discord want him gone? I thought they settled this in the last chapter.
8616337
It's like a prequel, and a sequel, an in-between-quel if you will.
Hilarious.
Took me a scond to get it
Thought extremely crass it was also unexpectedly smooth
Damn this site and it's community for making the word "plot" sound so disturbing in every sentence I see the word.
I'll never be able to read or hear that word the same way ever again.