Luna crashes into Ponyville, and goes into a coma. The mane six, the CMC, and Celestia all show up. As Luna is violently kicking, they know something is not right with Luna. Celestia knows, but can't bring herself to tell everypony. Meanwhile, Luna is reliving her past from before she was the Mare in the Moon. This secret can be kept no longer. And Celestia can't hide it forever.
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Scootaloo...is SOOO Forever Alone!
One - Metallica
I think either Flux Pavilion's Cracks or Hold Me Close and maybe One go good while reading chap 2 :) thx everypony for the support!
This was definitely interesting as far as fanfic premises go, but I don't believe that this worked out so well in the long run. You portrayed Celestia as an uncompromising and even tyrannical ruler when it came to the affairs of her sister, Luna. She goes to extremes for seemingly unknown reasons and then everything is suddenly hunk dory after Nightmare Moon's attempt to take down her sister. Perhaps if you'd taken more time to explain that side of the backstory it would make more sense but the main issue here is that the attitude shifts here didn't really make sense and to be blunt, I got whiplash from all this. Not to mention the extreme ooc levels that Celestia portrayed.
Now, that being said, I do urge you to keep on writing as that'll improve your skills as a writer. Reading this story, should you choose to do so, might be quite beneficial.
626174
Well, being part of the Lunar Republic helps, and of couse the portrayal of Celestia as a tyrannical ruler was the result of the unnamed stallion who'd attacked Luna, and her stress. My unclarity is due to my lack of experience in the fanfic field. Plus I'm double-projecting; I'm also writing a 200-page book in my other spare time, and if I were to finish before Sophmore year (next year) of High School, I may be able to send it to an editor, publishing corp. etc, as it is what I want to do with my life. If you'd like, I can do a complete backstory-check fanfic w/ connections. Just let me know, plz.
I thought this was awesome, yeah sure Princess Celestia was a tad out of character but it's cool, the plot was awesome and it was well written!
A bit short but I can't help but wonder what happened in that house...
*Applause!!!!!!*
loved this