Chapter 2
CHAPTER 2
Voices filtered through my throbbing head. I only caught bits as I faded to and from consciousness. Small, starved, miracle. Opening my eyes only brought a blinding light, which caused me to fade out again. Waking again I just laid there with my eyes closed drifting between sleep and consciousness. Hours, days, years, or seconds passed I couldn't tell everything was a jumble. I couldn't even think straight for more than a moment. Finally my head started to clear, but still I sat there and left my eyes closed. I wondered if I was dead. I should be. No way I lived through that fall. No way. Yet I didn't feel dead. Though I guess I don't really know what it felt like to be dead.
At first it was painful to open my eyes as the light was far too bright but after a few moments and lots of blinking, my eyes seemed to adjust and the pain subsided. Even with some adjustment the room seemed excessively bright. The light filtered through a white lace curtains that covered the window in front of me. As my head continued to clear I could start to feel the ache of my muscles. All of them seemed to be screaming as if I had some how ran a marathon but the soreness was not limited to my limbs but everywhere. I spent a few moments trying to move to no avail before I just let the world fade away once more.
Waking with a startle, I jerked my head up but the movement was painful. My head hit the pillow once more. It was a good pillow. Perfectly fluffy that my head sank into it. The light from the window was much less bright now. Ignoring the pain for a second, I took a quick glance across the room. There was a book shelf that was neatly packed with books. My eyes fell on the flowers that were behind me. They were strange ones that I didn't recognize. Despite this they were quite beautiful. The door had a window with blinds over it that were drawn down. Except for a painting of a meadow on the windowless wall the room seemed more geared towards function than anything else. A strangely shaped bench caught my attention for a moment. Why was it so deep and yet so short for the back rest?
Hunger reared it ugly head but I didn't feel like getting up anytime soon. I must have been in a hospital whcih meant that someone would be around eventually. In the mean time if seemed pertinent to take stock of myself. As I tried to fee my arm from the blanket that it was caught under I came to a strange conclusion. My fingers were gone. Panic would best describe what followed next. Even when it came free from the infernal sheet of fluffiness, that didn't assuage my fears. No they only intensified when instead of a hand there was a hoof. Overcome with panic I faded to black.
Coming to once more. It had been more times than I could keep track of. For a moment I just sat there trying to wake from the nightmare that I had found myself in. Opening my eyes having steeled myself for disapointment I found wonder instead. Standing over me was a horse that must have been well over nine feet tall at her head. Her hair flowed outward in a pastel rainbow of blue, green, purple, and pink. I had never seen something so beautiful, it was like a sunrise in horse form. From her head sprouted a long horn and I would have missed them if they hadn't fluttered at just the right time but she had wings on her back. Her eyes though, were like looking into an endless depth of compassion flowing through them towards me. In just her eyes I could tell she cared for me, loved me though she knew naught of me. Tears poured out of my eyes as I tried to comprehend her splendor. And then she spoke.
Her voice, deep and soft, pierced me through, as she whispered, “Hello little one.”
She paused for a moment letting me bask in her light for a second. Her presence alone seemed to ease my aches and pains. And for a second I forgot my sorrows. Melody. Her face flashed in my mind, and all peace was shattered as the darkness in my soul came crashing in. My vision blurred and darkened. Melody why would you tear my heart out? Why did you leave me? Hastening its beat, my heart imploded. I tried to back away, pushing with all my legs on the bed away from the mare standing before me, not in fear of her but unworthiness. I, the dark and festering sore of the world, should not dare be so close to her perfection.
The perfect one lowered her head and nuzzled me, and whispered, “There there, I know it hurts. Let out your sorrow.”
I reached up with my arms or what ever they were anymore, and held her head as I let my sadness pour from me. And so we sat there for a while till my tears had ran out and sleep took me again.
When I woke again, the aches in my limbs seemed to have lessened. A strong breeze blew through the window, lazily playing with the curtains. Hours had past and darkened the light from outside cast shadows across the room. On the bench sat a green unicorn with pale hair. It seemed so unnatural seeing her sit like a human. I wondered if she could speak too. Eh that would have to wait. I wouldn't want to wake her. Still I stared for a while watching her breath. Some part of me felt connected to her, that she mattered even though I didn't know why.
Hunger reared its ugly head. It was time to see if these strange limbs of mine were good for something. Pushing myself up, dizziness filled my head and vision. It was strange feeling a light purple fur covered arm as your own. Everything was so different as I looked over myself. Nearly white hair fell into my vision and with it I noticed a horn just barely vissible poked out of my forehead. I reached up to touch it and found that I could feel it. Too much presure and it sent waves of pain throughout my head. I decided to leave well enough alone. Turning to my back legs I looked at the strange gangly limbs. My knees were much too high up and my ankels were not really ankels anymore. A tail matching in color to my hair protruded from my backside. Also something seemed to be missing between my legs.
Not wanting to think about that, I tried to stand. The soft bed made that impossible. So instead I scooched till my arms hung off the bed. Pushing off with my legs, I fell towards the ground. Which just so happened to be a bit further down than I had guessed. A resounding thud echoed through the room, as I landed head first on the floor. Damn. My horn throbbed from the impact, filling my head with pain. Feeling defeated, I sat there on my back with tears forming in my eyes for a while.
Getting up, I stumbled towards the door. I fell more than once on the way. My legs just didn't seem to have any power to them even when they did what they were suppose to. I was feeling drained after just this small of a walk. Standing in front of the door, a second problem occurred to me. The handle was a round door nob, which was a bit above eye height. I didn't trust my back legs enough to stand upright to grab the doorknob nor did I relish the idea of trying to open it with my mouth. Defeated I slunk back to the bed but it was much to high for me to get back into. Not wanting to sit on the cold floor, I stumbled over to the bench. Either I was quite small or the green pony was very big. The door told me that I was the one who was a bit odd. The bench was low enough that I could just barely push myself onto it. So I sat watching the green pony and waiting for someone to come help me.
Slowly and quietly, a mare with a nurses hat pushed her way into the room. I turned my head to look at her. For a second worry covered her face as she looked at the empty bed. Turning to leave, her worry dissipated as she spotted me on the bench. She whispered to me, “You shouldn't be out of bed, little filly.”
With a few short steps, she scooped me up. Bracing me on her shoulder, she quietly slipped over to the bed and laid me there. Still whispering, she asked, “Do you need anything? Are you hungry?”
“Uh...very...sorry,” I replied back, in a high pitched and almost squeaky voice. I blushed at the sound of my voice, so very unmanly. I mean the whole body was very unmanly but the voice was what really made it sink in. It bothered me much more than I wanted to admit.
“Oh you don't have to embarrassed,” she softly cooed. “Everypony gets hungry. I will be right back. You stay here, and I will go get you some food. Okay?”
I nodded to her as she turned and headed out the door. A few minutes later she reappeared with a tray of food, balanced on her back. She set the tray upon the nightstand, and helped prop me up with an extra pillow from within the nightstand. Picking up the tray with her mouth, she popped out some legs from beneath it and placed it in front of me. A bowl full of oatmeal and a glass of water. Saliva built in my moth as it took all my will power to not just slam my face into the food. I fumbled with the spoon for a minute before giving up and just chowed down with my mouth.
The nurse barely held in a snicker. I paused at her reaction, part of me telling me that she was judging me. That I must be some poor beast that can't even use a spoon. But my hunger overwhelmed my doubts, and I continued anyway. Having devoured half of the plate as fast as I could, my stomach started to protest.
“You didn't have to rush,” the nurse whispered with mirth in her voice.
Laying my head back I relaxed for a moment before trying reach for the glass. With both arms, I precariously held it and tried to take a sip. My mouth was pushing the glass out of my grip, so I tightened my grip. Too much.
With a crack and a burst of pain, the glass shattered, spilling its contents all over me. Shit. Now she's gonna yell at me. My mind was racing and I couldn't think straight anymore. Despite the pain in my arm it was fears of being abandoned that ran through my head.
“Oh no,” the nurse stated. She ran to the door, and shouted, “Doctor!”
I started to fade away. My head was light and I couldn't really keep track of anything going on around me there were blurs of bright colors that seemed to dance around me. There was these amber pools that caught my fading mind for a second. I could feel a new wave of pain shoot through me and then some tingliness overcame where my wound was. The world faded out.
My head hurt. Fluttering open, light poured into my eyes once more. The green mare's face fills my vision. A brilliant golden glow engulfed her horn. Her beautiful amber eyes sorrowfully stared at my face. Wet droplets splashed onto my face as she cried above me. As if seeing the sunrise, her eyes started to light up and the clouds of sorrow were chased away. She gently caressed my face with her nose, smiling as she did so. It was a weird gesture but I craved her touch for some reason.
“Now, Miss Lyra, you can put her down. The bed is clean now,” stated some unknown voice. “Besides you should be resting yourself. I told you to lay off the magic for a while – “ He sighed. “– though I guess its good you were here.”
Lyra blushed as she gently laid me down, and the glow in Lyra's horn subsided. A brown unicorn, with a stethoscope slung around his neck and he wore a lab coat, stared sternly at Lyra. She winced at his stare like she was about to get yelled at.
“Sorry, Doc. I will try to get some rest,” she stated, dejectedly. “Though, is it fine if I just rest here? Somepony is supposed to be watching this one,” – she nodded her head in my direction – “and I would prefer to be the one to do that.”
“That is fine, as long as you don't use anymore magic today okay,” the doctor replied. “I will have the nurse bring you a cot, I don't want you to be sleeping on the bench.”
“Thanks, Doc”
I watched as he walked away closing the door behind him. Turning to Lyra, I watched her. Was she full grown? Did she know what I was? Or where? Or where I came from? Nausea crept its way back into my body. What if she knew what I did? Did I steal the body of her child? Will she hate me for that? I would, no I do. How could I be so careless? The heart raced as my thoughts grew darker.
“So whats your name?” Lyra asked.
“Alex,” I whispered.
“Well, hello, Alex. My name is Lyra. And how are you holding up there?” Lyra inquired. Concern smeared across her face as she brushed some of my hair from my face.
“Fine.” I whispered back. Nausea greedily ate at my stomach. She wouldn't care. Not about me. Not really.
“Fine? I don't see how you could be fine,” said Lyra, her voice soft. “I don't know what you're feeling but I do know what you've been through recently. I was there for part of it. Now come on, tell me how you're really doing.”
Nausea had ate my entire stomach, and seemed to be working his way up to my brain. Opening my mouth, the words seemed to catch themselves on my tongue and refused to escape for a second. As Nausea continued his climb though, the words escaped as if running from his horror.
Spilling from my mouth, “No, your right I am not fine. I should be dead. There is a part of me that wants to be.” – tears start to flow from my eyes – “I 'woke up here in this weird body and now a talking pony is trying to talk to me and I hate my voice, and I can't get things right. I broke that glass. I bet that nurse hates me now I ruined her bed sheets, and I broke her cup, and now she hates me, and I miss Melody, and my heart hurts and...”
My tongue got tangled in my mouth, stopping my rant. Sharp and fast, my chest pulled air into me as panic got to my brain. I couldn't keep track of the world anymore but couldn't fade from this pain.
Lyra's hoof rubbed my head as she leaned her head down next to mine. She whispered to me, “Its alright. Everything is gonna be fine. I am here for you, and I won't be leaving you. Now don't worry about the sheets, stuff happens, okay? And the nurse doesn't hate you.”
Nausea released his grip, as Lyra's hoof did her work. Slowly my tears stopped.
“Now there. Let's see if I can answer some of your questions,” she said with an air of certainty to her. “First off, while your body may be weird to you, I am pretty certain its just a normal filly's body. Sorry about that by the way, I was trying to save your life not give you a new body but that was the only way. When you jumped I grabbed you with my magic and pulled. Well, the only thing that came with was your spirit, so Twilight made you a new body out of bits of her and me. I think mostly her. You look like her, well except for the eyes, those are my eyes.”
Stopping for a moment, her eyes drifted away from mine. She just stared off into the distance. Our eyes met again, and she started up once more.
“Now I don't want to overload you with information yet but I guess I should get some of the important stuff out of the way now. You are now in the land of Equestria, a land filled with ponies like me, and well, now you. Here there are no Bipedals –“ I gave her a confused look “– what ever you were before. Either way, this will be your home now. Well not here specifically but this world. I can't send you back. You don't have a body to go to, on your world, not anymore. So I hope you will be fine with living with me.”
I truly had no where else to go, and Lyra had been very nice so far. I nodded my head in agreement. I just hoped she wasn't gonna lock me up, or worse.
“Well that makes me feel better,” Lyra stated, taking a breathe of relief. “Now I can't take you home today the doctor said earlier it would have to wait till tomorrow. And well that was this morning so lets hope your little accident didn't delay that.”
A knock on the door, followed swiftly by the nurse who brought a cot with her. She set it up, and said, “I know that you probably have allot to talk about but both of you need to sleep so lights out in ten, okay?”
“Okay,” Lyra replied.
The nurse left and Lyra hopped onto the cot. She pulled the pink blanket that came with the cot over her and stared at me.
“I bet your pretty tired why don't you try to get some sleep,” she whispered to me.
I nodded my head at her. Closed my eyes and took her advice. Sleep found me.
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It's not bad, though the initial awakening does suffer a bit from incoherence. Trying to stuff too much in at once I think. Like the "Time to get food" thing could have waited until she had recovered a bit and realized what was going on. "Coming to, I open my eyes," welcome to the wonderful world of forgetting to keep your tenses straight. "a mare with a nurses hat pushed her way" could have described her in more detail. "not just slam my face into the food" and then she immediately slams her face into the food, that's the sort of thing that gave the story a rushed feeling.
I like the tone of the story. It's not pandering or indulgent, but neither is it mirthless and cruel. You seem to hit a happy medium there. I liked how you made a genuine reason for him to go to Equestria instead of the usual "he died and went to horse heaven." It could still go the way of center of the universe OC, but it seems like a good set up at least. I'll have to see how it turns out.
I see quite a lot of punctuation errors, too many to really conveniently show you, so if you want me to, just PM me and I'll send you a copy of the chapter with the things I found corrected.
Slowly I opened my eyes. At first it was painful as the light was far too bright but after a few moment my eyes seemed to adjust and the pain subsided though even though the it the room seemed excessively bright.
Correction: Slowly I opened my eyes. At first it was painful as the light was far too bright but after a few moments my eyes seemed to adjust and the pain subsided even though the light in the room seemed excessively bright.
Ignoring the pain for a second a took a quick glance across the room.
Correction: Ignoring the pain for a second I took a quick glance across the room.
Pushing myself up with my right arm again, I sat up.
It was his left arm that he lift up on not his right
A knock on the door, followed swiftly by the nurse who brought a cot with her. She set it up, and said, “I know that you probably have allot to talk about but both of you need to sleep so lights out in ten, okay?”
Correction: A knock on the door, followed swiftly by the nurse who brought a cot with her. She set it up, and said, “I know that you probably have a lot to talk about but both of you need to sleep so lights out in ten, okay?”
So many feels...
Why? Why do I read stories like this if Imma just semi cry during it @.@ it's good. Great.
7066979 If you didn't feel anything would they be worth reading?
Except for Minotaurs and Discord.
I don't know if the fear from everything was overdone or not, but the freakout right there felt right.
Hhhhmmmm it could be that their relationship maybe happens a bit fast, till now it feels alright, but it is sort of in the middle of being to fast and well not to fast. I think it depens on what or how it happens next, since I would like it if there is still a bonding moment for them to take place and that it didn't happened comepletely already. I think I'm waiting for some sort of social problems in her live, maybe Bon Bon would be more suprised to suddenly see a fill on her side and not having an easy time to accept her because I think Alex would be a difficult child in his situation.
Well okay I stop for now, it is getting late and I want to start with some other stuff.
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Diamond dogs
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and scorpan
Wow. As someone who suffers from depression, and was suicidal at one point, this hits home for me. Very well written, although the pacing feels just slightly too fast.
Well that’s ironic
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Dragons anyone?
I'm not sure allot is the right spelling for this situation, a lot I think is the correct spelling.
9041772
you are right. Welcome to the first two chapters in which i knew nothing of editing and sucked my behind off when it came to tense and pacing and well everything. It gets better from chapter three onward.
How old is the body of his/hers? Hope no permanent damage to Lyra or Twilight
Good chapter
Pacing's a bit too fast, could've been extended into three chapters or more, as he reminisced on his past life and the weird conditions of "now".
Still, I'm still kinda eager to see this through. Time will tell if my faith is to be believed.
It still somewhat sucks, but I'm willing to brave it. With skill and knowledge comes the knowledge of limitations - what not to do, what stories not to write. I'm sure that half of them would be perfectly fine, but it's just not something you're supposed to do... Budding authors don't know that yet, and bring fresh ideas to the table.
So yeah, I'll brave it. :)