Heart Beats

by Colt Bolt

Chapter 5.5: A.F

I find your lack in faith disturbing

-Darth Vader

*chuga**chuga**chuga**chuga**scrreeech!*

The train driver stepped out of his control box and placed a hoof near his mouth, amplifying his voice. “Last stop, Manehatten!”

I snorted, being disturbed from my sleep. “Eh, wha?” I looked left and right to notice the last few ponies leaving the carriage. Rubbing the sleep out of my eyes, I proceeded to the exit. As I pulled the door open, a white alicorn with soft flowing multi-colored hair stood right in front of me. It was the princess of the day, Celestia.

I went into a calm panic attack, giving her my best poker face and slowly closing her door. Taking a few deep breaths in, I opened the door once again.

“Is there a changeling named Smoulder in there?” Celestia asked in a soft voice.

I’m not ready for this. I slowly closed the door again, taking in more deep breaths. I opened the door for the third time, hoping that it was all an illusion. The white figure was still there. “No, I didn’t think he’s here. My name is Smaug. The changeling you are looking for is not here. I will be sure to notify the proper authorities, should I encounter this Smoulder fellow. Maybe you could come back like umm.. never” I gave her a nervous laugh.

“May I talk to him?” The white unicorn responded without giving a buck with regards to what I had just said.

Alarm bells rang in my head, Abort, abort. I am definitely not ready for this. I slammed the door with my back barricading it as I was on the verge of hyperventilating. Ok switch to plan B.

“LEEEEEERROYYY JEEENKINNNSSSSS!” I cried pulling the door open and shoving the alicorn to the side. “You’ll never take me alive!” I closed my eyes yoloing it knowing that I probably had a thirty two point three recurring percent chance of living.

Celestia’s aura lifted my hooves off the ground and gently shifted me to her. I kept on paddling all four hooves, but I was a fish out of water.

I screamed my lungs out. “AHHHHH!”

“Calm do-”

“AHHHHH!”

“Calm dow-“

“AHHHHH!”

“CALM DOWN SMOULDER!” She boomed in her royal Canterlot voice.

“AHHHHHHHHHH, PLEASE JUST KILL ME ALREADY!”

Celestia’s horn began to glow as bright as the sun, and before you could say Equestria, I was put to rest by a sleeping spell.

***

Lying on the floor, I woke up in darkness. Everything around me was made out of the darkness. Dark walls, dark roof and a dark floor. Then a shimmer of light shined in the air, gradually drifting down to the ground. I shot up on my hooves and shielded my eye until the light turned to a brightness I could handle. A blue alicorn with her hair made out of the night sky appeared in front of me. It was the princess of the night.

“AHHH, NIGHTMARE MOON, AHHH!” I incorrectly screamed as I ran as fast as my hooves could go in the opposite direction only to painfully smash my muzzle against the wall. I galloped to the furthest corner of the room but Luna picked me up the same way Celestia did.

“AHHHHH!”

“Smoulder, plea-“

“AHHHHH!”

“Smoulder please calm down!” The blue alicorn howled.

“AHHHHH!”

Luna looked at you with a can-you-believe-this face. “So reader, do you know any good video games?”

“AHHHHH!”

Luna shot her hoof in the air with energy. “Ha-za! Another base for the Terran Republic, the fun has been quadrupled!”

“AHHHHH!”

Pointing a hoof to me, she asked you. “Do you think he’ll ever stop?”

I stopped screaming, gasping for air.

“Finally. Now Smoulder, as order of the prin-“

“AHHHHH!”

“Oh, son of a draconequus.” The ex-nightmare moon slapped the nonsense out of me. I stopped yelling almost instantly. “Smoulder, calm down or else I will banish you to the stars.”

I closed my eyes and started to tap the ends of my hooves together.

“There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home. There’s no place like home.”

***

I awoke from my dream on a comfortable bed, engulfed in softness. I felt like I could sleep there forever.

“So you’re finally awake?” I opened my eyes to see the mass changeling killer--the princess of love--Cadence.

Torturing my worn-out lungs, I took a deep breath preparing to scream, but before I could give a single decibel, she held out a metal saber that extended out a beam of light. The tip stretched to my neck. It’s heat just merely burning the skin on my neck.

“Ah, not a single sound. No, nada, nope. Ok?”

I gave her a short m-hmm while she retracted the light. She beckoned for me to follow her. When I exited through the doors, I realised that I was in Canterlot. I remembered all of the unique glass work, painstaking wall carvings, all of the servants in their dresses and royal guards in shining armor. We soon reached two gigantic gold plated doors, and I knew who was behind it.

I grabbed onto Cadence’s hoof, “P-please don’t l-let me go in th-there. I-I don’t know what I should pack before leaving to the moon, I don’t know ho-how it feels to be a statue. I don’t want to be turned into st-st-stone, I don’t know how to sur-survive the Rainbow PowerTM and live in Tartarus and I don’t know how to survive fro-frozen in a glacier in the north.”

“I find you lack of faith disturbing,” Cadence said throwing me into the room with her magic. I landed with a thump and groan.

When I looked up, Sun Butt and Moon Cheeks boomed out in unison. “Smoulder, you have been cho-.”

“AHHH!”

Luna groaned. “For Faust sake!” Celestia faced hoofed while Luna walked up to me and gave me a slap on the cheek.

Rubbing my jaw, I became silent, not wanting another painful experience.

Celestia came forward and took over.

“Since we now have your attention--you, Smoulder, have been chosen.”

I tilted my head “Chosen for what?”

“This one, the force, strong is.” A black and white zebra observed, appearing out from the shadows in the corner.

“You are have been chosen-“ Celestia started.

“-to be the next alicorn princess.” Luna ended.

“B-but I’m a stallion, I mean changeling, I mean stallion changeling, urghhh!”

“Oh, I forgot about that. Well I guess you’ll have to be executed and sent to a research lab to be another ripoff toy for Hasbro.” The Zebra unexpectedly said.

“Wait, wha?” And with a bang I was thrown out of the glass window, down to the valley below.

“AAAAHHH!” I uselessly flailed my hooves up and down.

A pink party pony shouted from a train. "Look everypony a mocking bird!”

“Well I guess this is it.” I felt the wind past around my ears as the ground became bigger and bigger until

SPLAT

I smashed into the ground face first, causing me to pop up from the seat still in the train with my pony disguise on. “Oh,” I giggled, “That was an adventurous dream.”

However, that was just barely over a thousand words and Colt Bolt didn’t like that. The princess of the night, who was in the seat behind me, whispered up close to my ear, “That was no dream.” Sweat came pouring down my forehead. I blushed into a crimson red as she softly nibbled the tip of my ears.

A pink party pony bucked open a door. “Choo Choo, mother buckers, we have arrived at Los Pegasus! What happens in Las Pegasus, shall not stay in Las Pegasus!”

The night pony used her magic to rise my paralysed soul out of the train and into a limo with her. As the engine started, Luna gave me her most seductive eyes. “So, do you want to find out what a hybrid of a pony with sharp edges, sharp wit and sharp tongue each sold separately is?”

My eyebrows rose at this topic. “Oh, does the princess of the night have enough stamina?”

She responded with a seductive tone. “I’ve had over a thousand years of training, what, make you think I’m not ready.”

My wings shot up, staying stiff.

“Come to me.”

She opened her arms getting ready for battle but before she could lay a hoof on me, I shoved her arms away.

“Nope, hold the phone, hit the brakes, stop the writing. No way in frigging Tartarus, did I spend four years to get an acting degree, just to get laid in a book.” A line of green fire curled around me returning the deadpan changeling face. “I have taken a lot in this story but getting laid by the princess is where I draw the line. That does it, I’m out of here!”

“You can't leave, you signed a contract! I own you! If you leave I get 50% of your stipend until 80 years has passed or until you die, whichever comes first!” Colt Bolt objected. “ Plus we’ve got a better part where you get laid while drunk in a few chapters time.”

“But it's no good if I can't remember any of it! Good bye, さようなら,auf widersehen, 再见, bene vale, adiós, au revoir and tạm biệt.” I waved my hoof as I slammed the exit door.

“…” Colt Bolt sighed and stared at the word count. This time it was one thousand four hundred. It wasn't over nine thousand, but it would do. “It’s a wrap people, go home.”

The End.

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April Fools

A few days early

Posted on 27/03/15

Author's Note:

Now for a few messages from my editors

Oh thank G-d! I was afraid I'd have to perform a homemade lobotomy to erase this atrocity from my memory. Now I'm gonna go sulk and eat a gallon of ice cream, as a reward for being subjected to this.- AuthorGenesis (editor)

Mother of Celestia . . . I was just completely bewildered throughout, wondering whether ol' Colt Bolt had finally found the diving board and jumped straight to the bottom of the deep end. I expected to have a good long sit and rethink my life, but now I can carry on with the rest of my day, lol.- Supersoup (editor)

Wow, this was an awesome experience writing my first A.F (April Fools) story.

---

Thank you for reading Heart Beats, chapter 4

Don't forget, if you haven't already, to thumbs up,comment and follow

If anyone has found something wrong with the grammar or spelling , please let me know in the comments and I'll fix them ASAP.

References found
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Comments

[tsaukpaetra]

Lol wut! And now we know what a.f. Stands for.
Is this chapter cannon?
At first I thought it was just a dream, now we believe it's a prophecy!
Keep going! ;)

[Colt Bolt]

5790101 Of course
not
it isn't cannon
unless you would like a full story about the behind the scenes of Heart Beats

[tsaukpaetra]

5792404 maybe! But later, the main story is more important.

[Colt Bolt]

5792421 The story of the behind the scenes of Heart Beats
Chapter 1. Idea
I get an idea stuck in my head for 6 months
chapter 2 write (spoilers) (skip to next chapter if you want)
try to write my first chapter-fails (Smoulder was actually going to be stuck in a cell being interrogated physically in the first chapter)
chapter 3 regret
I regret that i could of used that info for later chapters
chapter 4 edit, edit, edit
Make a new chapter 1 and edit for 3 months (which is crazy)
chapter 5 get editor/s
got supersoup and AuthorGenesis
chapter 6 get #rekt
got bashed by editors with police batons because of my mistakes (JK they're awesome)( so awesome that if they became 20% cooler they would explode creating a new universe)
chapter 7 send
sent first chapter
chapter 8 die
sat in the corner rocking back and forth crying, waiting for the last second of my life, wondering what I have been doing with my life and how I because obsessed with pascal colored ponies)
THE END
Best story 10/10-IGN
You never saw anything- Illuminati
Mum get the camera!!- kid

[tsaukpaetra]

5792486 Chapter epilogue: Princess Celestia appears with cake and an offer to emigrate to Equestria. She takes your response of, "do.... I want to emigrate... to Equestria?" as affirmation and promptly uploads your mind. The real world wonders what happened to their dear Colt Bolt.

Oh, Pascal is a scientific computer programming language, we believe you meant, "pastel"

[Colt Bolt]

5793056 twist
they are ponies who are addicted to computers