Damien Wade's life is, to be honest, boring. At times, he finds the only thing that keeps him from going mad is the hit TV show My Little Pony; Friendship is Magic. But one day, a twist of fate sends him into a place he'd only ever dreamed of. But what he finds there will change everything. Is our view on science and magic wrong? Is Equestria really as far away as it seems?
>Rated teen for language
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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I'm always a sucker for HiE, so I can't wait to see what this comes out to.
iv seen worse
tracked
Human in equestrian... unoriginal.
Far Away - Wolfmother
I misread that as Damien Wayne, and thought this was going to be a crossover with Batman's son.
504508 What do you think the "Human" tag was, when you clicked on this?
504508
I did put the "Human" tag on this story. Unless you clicked on this to deliberately make a point that you dislike HiE Fics.
Same as Calclor. Though I am surprised; I thought that the person had to be in equestria by the end of the first chapter for the story to be allowed on this site. Oh well.. I look forward to reading the rest of this story. :D
505199
I have a lot of ideas in store, and I think this has a ton of potential, if I execute a good order of events. Also, let me know if you find anything that needs fixing, and feel free to let me know of any ideas you have for this fanfic. 
Thanks
*sqquuueeeeee!!!@@#$*
omigosh this guy must be so happeh.
I found it a bit odd how she asked for an explanation for him running into her but was stricken by the fact that he could talk. It just seems a bit odd. Oh well. Onward to the next chapter!
I like it so far! Finally, a HiE that doesn't have the person hiding all of the secrets and making everything worse for themselves later on.
I only wish more of this story was out so I didn't have to wait for the next chapters. :c
Do you have an editor? I couldn't find too many errors while reading this. I also like your sentence structure, I'm going to take note of the layout of your story (as well as all of my friends' stories) and use it to help me when I write my first ever fanfic in a week.
505329
Thanks!
And no, I write my fanfics without an editor. In hindsight, it's probably not the best of ideas, but it reduces hassle and time spent.
Oh, and I'm currently about 1/3 of the way through chapter 4. It'll be out probably within an hour or so.
505357 damn... I'll be asleep in an hour.
505405
Then it shall be waiting for you in the morning!
Okay, so far, so little.
This HiE plotline is just, just SO over used. I'm a teenage brony, I hate my life, my parent(s)/classmates/coworkers/peers is/are mean to me, blam, wowwee, I'm in Equestria where I'm AWESOME.
You're going to have to try very VERY hard and do something very VERY different to make this story stand out in the crowd.
You're also not off to a very good start.., you spent the first entire chapter with your protagonist doing nothing but mope about his life. Plus, your character's appeal for sympathy couldn't be weaker. Believe me, noone past the age of thirteen is going to have a moment of sympathy for how hard your character's life is because he's getting an F in chemistry. If anything I'm LESS sympathetic because the silly twit is sleeping through his classes and then whining about his bad grades. At any rate making a protagonist "Sympathetic" doesn't mean you have to make everyone feel sorry for him. It means you make him (or her) RELATABLE.
Your grammar, sentence structure and spelling are at least clean, and you write with a clear "voice." It just remains to be seen whether you're going to do anything with it.
505474
Ok, so can it, is essentially what you're saying.
Also, you're not supposed to be "sympathetic," you're supposed to relate to him. I'm not trying to make you feel sorry. Everyone fucks up in life, and this is another case. I'm not going to make him an orphan with cancer and an abusive foster home, if that's what it takes to make the story sympathetic. And he doesn't hate his life. If he hated his life, he'd be a whiny little bitch who writes poetry, and cuts himself. He's just frustrated with his current conditions. Also, the first chapter was to add background to the character, not to "mope about his life." Trust me, if I wanted him to mope, I could've made him, once again, a whiny bitch who writes poetry. And also, how many different HiE plot beginnings can there be? Besides, the plot hasn't even developed. This is just how he got there, and isn't even a significant part of the story. The plot I have in mind didn't even need the first couple chapters, but I added them anyway, so you could get a sense of who the character is and so you can relate.
And anyway you don't have to be so brutal. I get it. It needs something different to stand out, but you don't need to tell me that my plot sucks, the future of this fic is going to suck, my character sucks, and that I'm going to have to pull a Jesus miracle out of my ass to fix it, because even though that's not what's written, that's what's implied.
yay derpy
lol.. nice chapter but I have one question. In all of these HiE fics I have been reading, the person shakes the pony's hoof. How would a person go about doing that? Do you like hold onto their hoof or do you make a fist and shake it up and down with their hoof.
510690
You just grab the pony's hoof, and shake.
510709 Seems like it would be a bit odd..
510720
Perhaps a bit, but then again, you are humanoid in a world full of equines.
510730 Doesn't mean that it would feel normal.
510735
True, true, but you gotta make due, I guess. Most activities would be strange to perform with a pony.
510792 But then again, these ponies have more human features to them than real ponies.. so stuff might be different..
Derpy
it just has to have something pony related as far as i know
awesome!
FIRST! and good chapter :3
527123
Thank you
Man, this is going to be a long fanfic lol
hum.... this:
I chuckled a bit. "This is called a hand, Twi. And this 'foreleg' is an arm."
"And what are those strange appendages that split from your hand?"
"Those are fingers. They help us grab things, and manipulate objects," I explained.
doesn't work, after all,SPIKE has arms, hands and fingers or whatever the hay those are called for a Dragon but still, even if those have a different name, Twi would have USED the words that correspond to that instead of trying to identify them as pony parts
527144
OH SHEEIT!!!
Yeah, the arm part doesn't work. DAMMIT!
Edit; WAIT!!! I think I can fix it
527144
Ok. I fix.
527206
now that sounds better... and why did I forget that dragons have claws like a newb.....
u should make it were they find a way to send him back but he wants to stay and they turn him into a pony
Yayyy! AJ is one of the better ponies. I love when ppl get jobs on her farm!
doing pretty good buddy I look foward to reading more simple yet entertaining
Poor derpy.
And oh boy sleep sounds really nice right now. But I have another 48 hours before sleep. I have to do it. I must go 3 days without sleep!
699128 why 3 days no sleep?
699465 I had to give up on that. I realized that driving to and playing a hockey game tonight wouldn't go over to well if I were half asleep. I'll have to try it some other time.
i feel a derpyXdamien coming
505484 At first, when the protagonist said "Twilight Sparkle", I was expecting to be an identity crisis and it sure was.
Overused! No offense
Thanks for the patience everyone, I'm uploading the next chapter hopefully tonight, and it's going to be a long one.
"67 My heart dropped" Should be "Sixty-seven percent. My heart dropped."
"11:38 It's amazing..." should be "Eleven thirty-eight. It's amazing...
All I could find, which is sadly a new record.
poor Derpy
AND NOW YOU MADE ME CRY
First sad deroy is sad
Aaaaaaauuuuuggghhhh euch euch euaaaaaaaaaa
*that was me dying from the cute sadness*
829106
On it