• Published 3rd Nov 2014
  • 3,671 Views, 126 Comments

Diane - PerfectRed



Pinkie's life, her Family and her friends. Turn out to be mere delusions created by her subconscious

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Confliction

Pinkie’s hand trembled furiously, as she struggled to keep the folder from falling from her grasp. What she saw was clear and real. If the picture was a forgery, they did a very good job at it. Pinkie removed the one hand from the folder, pinching her fingers around the edge of the photo. She held the photo up to her eyes, getting a good long look at it. Pinkie looked at the four girls in the photograph, at first glance it could be easily dismissed, but as she took a closer look, she saw these girls were the spitting image of her and her sisters.

The tallest out of them, she identified as Maud, her mellow expression, her hair the same style as her mane in Equestria. The same could be seen from her other two sisters. Marble and Limestone. Marble was slightly smaller than Limestone, which led Pinkie to believe that she was the youngest of the group. Finally Pinkie’s eyes fell on herself. Or what doctor Sparks claimed to be her. Pinkie noticed a goofy smile on the girls face, which she could definitely admit was one of her most noticeable traits. She also noticed the girl’s hair to be shorter than the hair she had now, and probably the most striking difference was the color. Pinkie thought back to the patient file photograph, remembering the pink streaks left in the hair. The girl must have dyed her hair pink. Pinkie broke out in a cold sweat. She could see the evidence piling up against her. What if Tessa’s right she thought.

No! Listen to yourself, they’re just trying to fool you again!

Pinkie snapped back to reality as she heard a familiar voice. “Diane, are you okay, or do you need a minute.” Tessa said looking at her with concern.

“N-no it’s just...” Pinkie knew she wanted to say it. “The girls, they look almost like my sisters in Equestria.” Pinkie said putting the picture down.

Tessa sighed, “I actually thought they might. I thought showing you the picture might have jogged actual memories of your real life.” Tessa confessed. Pinkie flipped over to the first page of the file, once again taking a look at the patient photo.

“When was that photo of my family taken?” Pinkie asked, her demeanor surprisingly calm.

“It was taken about eight years ago, you were only 9 years old”, Tessa replied almost sadly. Pinkie decided to persist with her questions.

“Why was my hair pink back then?” Pinkie asked sternly.

“You dyed your hair pink frequently back when you were that age. However, after the-” Tessa paused. Pinkie raised and eyebrow seeing she was uneasy. Tessa continued, ”A-after you were brought here, you continued to insist on dying your hair, but we had to put a stop to it whilst you were in our care.” Tessa said, adjusting nervously in her seat.

Pinkie clearly saw Tessa was hiding something, but truthfully, she didn’t feel like persisting. She knew that she wouldn’t get a straight answer. Pinkie closed the folder, holding it out to Tessa. Tessa slowly took the folder, laying it onto her lap. Pinkie pondered what to say, should she accuse the doctor of lying, or should she try to learn more? Despite her strong belief that this was all a trick, Pinkie still felt a need to know about this family, whether it was hers or not.

“What are they like?” Pinkie asked quietly. Tessa turned to her with a small smile on her face.

“Well If you really want to know, your family lives in the mountains. Your father’s actually a geologist, while your mother is an artist.” Tessa paused, as she saw the surprised look on Pinkie’s face, but continued. “I don’t know an awful lot about your siblings, although your older sister Maud used to make very frequent visits.” Tessa said looking down sadly.

Pinkie froze at the name, Maud still had her own name, but Pinkie did recall it didn’t sound very equestrian to begin with. She’d always wondered why her parents gave her the name.

“Why did she stop visiting?” Pinkie asked, her tone very passive.

Tessa maintained a calm posture as she spoke. “Well Diane, we had to stop visits from your family as your conditioned worsened.” Pinkie’s face went into that of disbelief. “Your delusions became more severe, to the point where you couldn’t remember many of the staff, or your family.” As Tessa finished, the room went quiet.

Pinkie simply hung her head low. She didn’t want to believe it. How could she? Every memory of her life in Equestria was so vivid, so clear. Pinkie lifted her head towards Tessa, their eyes meeting.

“How? How do you expect me to believe my whole life was a delusion?” Pinkie asked, her voice cracking slightly.

“Diane, I understand how difficult it must be. It’s the same for many who suffer from illnesses such as yours.” Tessa said, receiving a stern look from Pinkie.

“Do you really understand? Do you know how vivid these memories are?” Tessa went silent allowing Pinkie to continue. “I can remember everything. From my first birthday, to the day I got my cutie mark.” Pinkie’s eyes began to tear up “To when I met my friends.”

“Diane-” Tessa was cut off.

“I don’t want to be here!” Pinkie broke out in sobs. “I-I don’t want to be here.” Pinkie felt warm tears flowing down her cheeks. She sniffled, raising her hand to wipe them away.

“Diane?” Pinkie slowly raised her head at the sound of Tessa’s voice.

“W-what?” Pinkie asked through sobs.

“Do you want to see them?” Tessa asked. She looked up at Tessa through puffy tear stricken eyes.

“S-see who?” She asked. Tessa gave her a sympathetic smile.

“Your family.” Tessa rested the clipboard on her lap on top of the folder. “I will need to ask if you can of course, but I honestly think it may just be what you need.”

Pinkie pondered this for a second. She was being offered a chance to meet her family, assuming they really were her family. Pinkie then mentally slapped herself. Of course they weren’t her family, she thought, they were just another product of this bizarre world she was in. She figured seeing them would only make her feel worse. However, Pinkie’s curiosity began to overshadow her concerns. Even if they weren’t her real family, could it really hurt to just meet them?

Pinkie let out a sniffle. “S-so they’ll be able to visit me?” Pinkie asked regaining her composure. Tessa nodded at her.

“Like I said, I will need to ask, but I have a feeling that you’ll be allowed to see them.” Tessa said Taking the clipboard and folder, tucking it underneath her arm. She got out of the chair moving over to Pinkie.

“You’re leaving?” Pinkie asked in an upset tone, which surprised her.

“Sorry Diane, my time is up for now.” Tessa said placing a hand on Pinkie’s shoulder. Pinkie didn’t flinch or protest, she simply looked over to Tessa.

“It must be nice. Being able to leave whenever you want.” Pinkie stated. Tessa’s expression turned to that of concern.

“Try and get some rest Diane, I’ll have a talk with my superior about letting you see your family.” Tessa said, moving over to the door. Pinkie watched her the whole way, up to when the door clicked shut. She heard the locks begin to clank, almost serving as a reminder that she couldn’t leave. Pinkie slumped into her bed, reaching over towards her plushie. She hugged it tightly, trying to imagine that she was actually hugging her pet alligator. Pinkie let out a sigh, shifting into a more comfortable position in the bed. To her surprise, her eyes actually began to drift, she began to secretly hope that when she awoke, it would be back in Equestria, though part of her knew it was a silly thought. Pinkie’s eyes closed, as her body embraced the much needed sleep.

“Pinkieeeee ?”

Pinkie’s eyes began to float open at the sound of her name. She shifted up in the bed feeling something brushing up against her chest. Pinkie looked down realizing it was just the plush Gummy. She sighed, realizing she hadn’t gone anywhere and pushed herself to sit up in the bed. She then observed the room around her, noticing it was now dark. The only light shined through the small window positioned on the top of the back wall. Pinkie then froze as she heard the voice again, it was a voice she was all too familiar with.

“Pinkie, what's wrong you silly filly?” She saw in the corner of the room a small pink figure. It was herself.

“Well it’s about time, I never realized I was such a heavy sleeper.” The pony said, her voice upbeat and booming with happiness.

“Wha-what, how can you be here?” Pinkie asked cautiously.

“The same way that you're here silly.” The other Pinkie answered giving a cheery smile.

“Okay, um why are you here then?” Pinkie asked, causing the pink mare to frown.

“Hrmp, and here I thought you’d be happy to see me.” The pink pony walked towards her. “I’m here because you're choosing to abandon Equestria.” The Earth pony stated, causing Pinkie’s eyes to widen.

“I-I haven’t abandoned Equestria, it’s not my fault I was brought here.” Pinkie said exasperated.

“Nope, it’s not.” Pinkie finally got a look at the stern expression on her other self. “But you’ve started to give up.” Pinkie hung her head low at this statement.

“I-I...” Pinkie was cut off.

“Pinkie what would our friends think, hmm? They probably wouldn’t recognize you, with your quitter attitude. I don’t even recognize you, and I am you.” Her pony persona said giggling slightly at her last sentence.

“What am I supposed to do, I can’t leave, theres no way out of here. How can I smile when theres nothing to smile at!” Pinkie retorted.

“You're the element of laughter, now look at you, having nothing but a big frowny face.” The mare crossed her hooves. Pinkie looked at the mare with pleading eyes. Was she really giving up on Equestria? Pinkie shook her head, placing her palms on her head.

“Stop it! I haven’t given up, I-I just-”

“I know why, it’s because part of you wants them to be right about you. Maybe you want to be Diane Pie.” Pinkie, gasped at this statement. “Well? Is that it Miss Diane?” The mare’s frowning face turned into a smirk. Upon seeing this Pinkie’s eyes narrowed.

“Stop it!” Pinkie’s voice became agitated. The pony however was unfazed.

“Awwww, don’t be like that I’m only trying to help.” The Pinkie pony said in a tone that dripped with deception.

“I don’t want your help.” Pinkie grumbled

“Why? Because I’m actually telling you the truth?” The pink mare gave Pinkie a once over. “Or do you think I’m just one of those little itty bitty delusions they say you have. Well Diane? Am I?” A grin formed on the pony’s muzzle. Pinkie’s eyes flared with anger.

“Shut up! I don’t have any delusions!” Pinkie shut her eyes tightly. “I’m not crazy! I-I’m not-” Pinkie opened her eyes again, to see the her other self was gone.

Pinkie noticed that she was breathing heavily. She surveyed the room, trying to find the pink pony, but it really had vanished. Pinkie’s mind began to race. She couldn’t for the life of her come up with an explanation for what she just saw. Was it all just a dream, it sure didn’t feel like one. Or was it some kind of hallucination? Pinkie mentally slapped herself again for even suggesting it. Saying that was a hallucination, meant admitting that everyone in this hospital was right about her.

“It must have just been some kind of dream.” Pinkie whispered to herself, laying back down into her bed hesitantly. She pondered her own statement, and questioned whether she actually believed it. Even though she didn’t want to admit it, her other self had said truthful things. Pinkie couldn’t get away from the nagging feeling. That they are all telling the truth about her. If that was the case, was she just prolonging her own freedom by resisting? By trying to get back to a place that may have been a mere delusion created by her mind. A single tear rolled down Pinkie’s cheek as she stuffed her face into the pillow. She didn’t want to think about it anymore. She only wanted a small measure of peace.
_____________________________________________________________________

Pinkie felt her eyes begin to burn, as a bright light began to flood the room. Opening them, she saw the room was lit from the morning sun streaming in from the window. Pinkie slowly sat up, feeling the crust build up in the corners of her eyes. Pinkie rubbed her eyes slowly, cleaning them out. She then took a look at the room around her. The other Pinkie had not come back. She let out a sigh of relief, she really didn’t want to see her again. Pinkie turned to the plush Gummy that sat next to her. She picked it up, holding it up to her face.

“You probably got more sleep than I did.” Pinkie said receiving silence from the stuffed toy. Though Pinkie couldn’t help but smile at it. Remembering her pet wasn’t really a conversationalist either. Pinkie plopped down, laying prostrated on the bed, the plush animal left to lay on her chest. Pinkie let out a loud yawn looking up at the ceiling pondering the previous day’s events. She remembered Tessa’s offer to see her family. From what Pinkie could tell Tessa generally cared for her well being, and if she was lying, she must have been very good at it.

Pinkie suddenly jolted upwards, as she heard the door to the room creak open. Pinkie calmed down, as she saw a familiar face walk into the room. It was Fiona. Pinkie looked to see her carrying a tray in her hands. She could only assume it was her breakfast.

“Good morning Diane, I hope I didn’t wake you.” She said in a polite tone.

Pinkie shook her head giving her a small smile. “No no, um I’ve actually been awake for a little while.”

“Oh, well I hope I didn’t keep you waiting.” She said setting the tray down next to Pinkie on the bed. Pinkie looked down at the white goop that lay on the plate.

“Ummm-”

“It’s oatmeal.” Fiona said easing Pinkie’s mind slightly. Pinkie picked up the spoon provided to her, scooping the so called oatmeal into her mouth. She noted, the last time she ate the food wasn’t as bad as it looked. Just a bit bland. After scooping the last of the food in her mouth, Pinkie downed the plastic cup of water that lay next to it. The water brought a refreshing sensation to her body.

“Oh my, you do eat rather quickly Diane.” Fiona said giving a small giggle. Pinkie simply shrugged her shoulders.

“Alright, well we better get you to the showers.” Fiona said holding her hand out for Pinkie to grasp. Pinkie stared at her confused.

“Showers?” Pinkie asked curiously.

“Well you didn’t expect us to neglect basic hygiene when it comes to our patients, did you?” Fiona asked jokingly. Pinkie gave a nervous chuckle, as she allowed Fiona to help her out of bed. However, as Pinkie began to move towards the door, she felt anxious. This was the first time she was going to leave her room. She really didn’t know what to expect. Fiona went out the door first, beckoning Pinkie into the hallway. Upon stepping into the hall Pinkie was met with two orderlies standing at her sides. She looked at them with unease.

“Don’t worry Diane, they're not going to hurt you, there just-”

“Here to make sure I don’t run away.” Pinkie interrupted her. Receiving a sad nod from Fiona. The nurse then began to walk down the left of the hall, motioning for Pinkie to follow, the two orderlies following closely behind them. Pinkie took this time to look around at her environment. On each wall there were several metal doors, which she assumed were other patients rooms. She shuddered at the thought of what kind of people lay behind them. Pinkie continued onward, eventually reaching the end of the foreboding hallway. Pinkie exited to find another set of halls. Each having huge windows occupying the space on the walls.

She squinted her eyes as she was bombarded with natural light coming from the huge windows. Taking a quick glance, she could see what appeared to be green fields, in the distance appeared to be buildings. Very tall buildings, Pinkie thought. However her thoughts were interrupted by one of the orderlies forcing her forward. Pinkie frowned at him, mumbling under her breath as she turned back to Fiona. Fiona suddenly stopped in front of a door. Pinkie glanced up to see a sign that read “Patient Showers.”

“Here we are. Come along Diane.” Fiona said leading her into the room. She entered reluctantly. Looking around, she found a shower head, lined up against the wall. The whole area being equipped with a curtain.

“Alright Diane, you can go and get showered, I’ll be waiting right here.” Fiona said causing Pinkie to look at her confused.

“W-wait, you're going to be watching me?” Pinkie asked stuttering.

“Oh no no, the curtain is there for your privacy, but the rules are that patients should not be left alone, excluding their own rooms.” Fiona said giving an uneasy smile. Pinkie simply nodded going behind the curtain.

After a minute Pinkie was finally able to take her clothes off. This wouldn’t have been a problem if she was still a pony, Pinkie thought. Upon taking off her gown, Pinkie was met with the sight of her new body. She inspected it briefly, taking in the noticeable differences. Particularly her more private areas, the most notable change being on her chest area. Pinkie rolled her eyes and decided now wasn’t the time to be investigating her anatomy. Turning on the shower, she felt cold water fly onto her exposed skin. Pinkie flinched at the temperature, but slowly began to embrace it. The water felt rejuvenating, almost like all her worries were being washed away with it. Pinkie felt each droplet trickle down her body, the cold tingling making her let out a relaxed sigh. She didn’t want to leave. However, after a couple minutes Pinkie heard a familiar voice calling her.

“Diane. Your time is up.” Pinkie saw the silhouette of Fiona pass something under the curtain. She looked down, seeing it was a change of clothes and a towel. Pinkie groaned, turning off the shower. She moved over to the towel and took it in one hand, rubbing it over her smooth skin. Once sure she was completely dry, she took the gown and weird underwear provided for her, remembering just to reverse what she did, when taking the clothes off. Pinkie, now fully dressed, stepped out to see Fiona waiting for her. She frowned as she saw, the orderlies waiting behind Fiona.

“Don’t worry Diane, they're just making sure your done as you're told.” Fiona replied uneasily, seeing Pinkie’s disdain towards the orderlies. Pinkie simply walked behind Fiona following her out of the bathroom. She silently followed Fiona as she was led to a small staircase. She followed Fiona down, taking care not to fall. Upon reaching the bottom, she saw a pair of double doors. Looking left to right, she saw only more hallways. Pinkie shrugged it off figuring the place was probably very big.

“Diane.” Pinkie turned to Fiona as she spoke. “Alright, lets head out for your morning walk.” Pinkie perked up upon hearing this.

“W-walk? I get to go outside?” She asked trying to contain her excitement. Fiona gave her a kind smile nodding to her question.

“Yep, you're scheduled for a 10 minute walk outside.” Fiona said, opening one of the two doors. She motioned for Pinkie to follow her outside, to which she did with surprising enthusiasm. Being stuck in that room, just had Pinkie craving fresh air. Upon looking outside, Pinkie found she was in a garden, enclosed by the walls of the hospital, above was the bright morning sun, shining onto the garden. Pinkie followed Fiona, as the two walked side by side each other.

Pinkie turned to see the orderlies standing by the door. “Um why aren’t they following us?” She asked.

“Oh, they don’t need to follow us in here, it was made so patients could wander around without the worry of them trying to run away.” Fiona said with a smile that soon turned into a look of guilt from basically referring to the hospital as a prison. Pinkie brushed it off continuing her walk.

“Um, Nurse Shea, why haven’t I seen any other patients since I got here?” Pinkie asked curiously. Fiona gave her a nervous smile.

“Well Diane, were in the high security wing. It’s for patients that need special care above the rest. We don’t usually allow many of the patients here to interact, for safety reasons.” Fiona said trying to make her answer sound better than she was making it. Pinkie took this as a friendly way to say “this is the ward for dangerous patients.” She decided not to retort, as she actually liked talking with Fiona. She reminded her too much of Fluttershy.

“So um where is doctor Sparks?” Pinkie asked curiously.

“I’m actually not sure, she must be tending to other patients at the moment.” Fiona replied politely.

“Oh, um, she said yesterday, that she’d organize for me to see my family.” Pinkie said meekly. Fiona’s face brightened.

“That sounds wonderful Diane, you must be very excited.” Fiona said enthusiastically.

Pinkie gave her a nod. “I guess.” Pinkie mumbled, trying to hid her inner conflict on the subject.

“I don’t suppose you remember any of your family members?” Fiona asked. Pinkie pondered the question.

“I kind of remember them It’s...” Pinkie paused. Her eyes fixed forward.

What she saw caused her to tense up. On the other side of the path way, was her pony self. Next to her was a yellow pegasus, whose eyes were fixated on Pinkie. It was Fluttershy. Pinkie’s anxiety began to build at the sight of her other self glaring at her. She looked at Fluttershy who began to speak.

“Traitor.”

The word cut Pinkie like a knife. Tears began to form in the corners of her eyes.

“N-no, please, just go.” Pinkie mumbled under her breath. Fiona seeing this knelt down to Pinkie’s side worriedly.

“Diane, what’s wrong?” She asked concerned. Pinkie ignored her, as the other Pinkie began to speak.

“Now’s your chance, try and escape! Or would that be interrupting your walk?” The pink mare yelled in a mocking tone. Pinkie began to began to panic, she turned to Fiona with pleading eyes.

“I-I want to go back.” Pinkie said frantically. Fiona simply nodded escorting Pinkie to the exit. Pinkie glanced back one more time. The two ponies were gone.

Fiona escorted Pinkie back to her room, setting her down on the bed. Pinkie kept her head down the whole way. She sat on the bed staring blankly at her knees.

“Diane what happened?” Fiona asked in an almost motherly tone. Pinkie looked up at her with confused eyes.

“I-I-I don’t-” Pinkie paused she didn’t know how to explain this. Saying she saw two imaginary ponies, would only be adding to the evidence that she was mentally ill.

“Diane it’s alright, you can tell me.” Fiona pleaded. Pinkie shook her head.

“I-It’s nothing.” Pinkie whispered. Fiona gave her a suspicious look.

“Diane, were only trying to-”

“Really!” Pinkie gave a forced smile. “It was nothing, don’t worry.” Fiona knew Pinkie was not telling her the full story, but decided it best not to push her. She nodded, heading towards the door.

Fiona turned back to face Pinkie. “Doctor Sparks will come later for your daily session.” Without another word Fiona closed the door.

Pinkie huddled against the wall next to her bed, her eyes darting around her small room. She wondered how she kept seeing her other self. Pinkie began to rationalize it being a dream, but this time she knew she was awake. A tear trickled down Pinkies cheek, as she began sobbing softly at a terrifying thought.

Was she really sick?

Author's Note:

Has Pinkie come to a realization ? Sorry for the wait. I wish I could get these chapters out faster, but you'll just have to bare with me, while I try to mange life with hobbies. Hopefully I'll be able to get chapters out a lot faster over christmas. Until next time Carpe Diem.