Humanized Ponies, some aspects of Equestrian Girls
Don't like, then don't read.
One night coming home from chorus practice Twilight and her fellow Elements of Harmony witnessed a strange comet that transformed them. They are now Van-Pires, with some help they must prepare for future threats, because if they don't then they will wind up living in a world with out Gasoline and overrun by monsters.
Oh man! Obscure reference! I don't think more than a hundred people remember this show hahaha!
Though the BAD GUYS were Van-pires no? The good guys were Motor Vators or something? Or I guess it was just a team name...
So having read it... not bad for a mostly expository chapter! Some typos and mistakes here or there that needs fixing though... for exemple it's spelled 'magenta' not 'magnete' and you have a 'whit' instead of 'wait' in there. There's also a few spots where I found it difficult to tell who was talking, you might want to look into it in the future?
Like that Spike isn't a dog...always felt that was stupid when he's pratically Twilight's brother.
Mr. Rookwood here feels a bit superfluous, maybe instead of an OC you could make him into Mr. Sombra! Play up the jealousy angle a bit, since in the comic you have a version of Celestia falling for a nice verson of Sombra, plus it would work out well with Equestrian symmetry.
That's gonna be a lot of characters to handle, good luck! I'm looking forward to reading more!
*Tracking!*
5221164 Thanks I didn't think any one would know I am just writing this piece for fun.
Thanks for pointing out where my mistakes were thank you.
1.
Thanks I will go through and see what I can do but I thought I got the magenta thing?
2
I agree with you on that I mean the Diamond Dogs were human. They even had Fluffel Puff and she is an OC.
3.
Thanks for noticing, I got that feel and I kind of wanted it their for this piece
4.
Exactly
5.
Planning On it.
Thank you for the input and I am glad that you are following the story
I will try to improve.