The Adventures of Derpy, Lyra, and Octavia

by IsabellaAmoreSirenix

Special Request Episode! The Search for the Non-Existent Painting!

Tick, tock. Tick, tock. Tick, tick, tick, tick, tick, DING!

Derpy murmured sleepily as she pushed her hoof through a hole in a massive sheet of ice, wider than the entire city of Canterlot. Her bright golden eyes opened to a wasteland of snow, with dark clouds sailing overhead and trees standing shriveled like the elderly marching to death.

"Burr," said Derpy, rubbing her front hooves together for warmth. "Oh no... the painting... what's happened to the painting..."

"Hey, Derpy!" called a voice behind her. Derpy whirled around just in time to see Octavia's head pop out of a sea of wrapping paper like a jack-in-the-box.

Derpy laughed. "Silly Octy," she said, "where's your bass? You said I'd get to hear you play!"

"You mean this?" asked Lyra from above Derpy's head. The unicorn was sitting atop the crystal chandelier of the music room. Around her neck was slung a bass, shining in the light.

From below, Derpy clapped and cheered as Lyra started playing various chords in rapid succession. There may have been words accompanying the notes as well, but they were lost to Derpy's memory, like wind passing in one ear and out the other.

"Pretty sweet, isn't it?" asked Lyra, flashing Derpy a toothy grin. "Wait, hang on!" The mare stuck her head in a jack-o-lantern, only to pull it out seconds later. "We're late, we're late, for a very important skate! I said I'd..."

After that, her words became garbled, as if she were speaking from the bottom of a pool. Yet Derpy nodded along with every movement of her lips, and when she stopped speaking, Derpy dutifully wheeled the baby stroller towards the cumulus clouds surrounding Canterlot Castle.

"Hey, can you open the door for me?" asked Lyra while trying to balance half a dozen lamps in her front hooves.

Derpy was about to burrow a path when suddenly, she heard a strange squelch, squelch sound come ever closer. Then the door opened with a loud bang, and Octavia the Octopus was standing in the doorway... well, if octopi can stand at all. They certainly can't sit, though; that would be preposterous!

"You can't go this way," said Octavia as she slid down the banister. "There are ponies outside, rioting for a revolution. Something about equal rights for stallions. Crazy, isn't it?"

Oh dear, I wonder if the painting will be alright, Derpy worried. "Is there another way around?"

"Go to the lockers, Derpy," Lyra instructed. "You'll find a way there."

"But we're still in the clouds!" Derpy insisted.

Octavia facepalmed with all eight tentacles. "Derpy, your head is what's in the clouds. Turn around, darling."

She did, and instead of her friends standing beside her, there was a row of shiny green lockers in front of her. The locker number 1130 stood out in gleaming silver.

Derpy shuffled her hooves nervously. Oh, but what if the Doctor jumps out?

Taking a deep breath, she pulled on the lock as hard as she could, so hard that when it flew open, Derpy lost her balance and was set tumbling into the water. When she wiped the water from her eyes, she saw to her relief that a rack of identical, paint-smeared smocks had popped out of her locker.

"Hey, I'm getting closer!" she exclaimed happily. "The painting must be nearby!"

Just as she was about to run off, she heard Lyra's voice shout, "It's not safe to go alone, kid! Here, take this!"

Derpy looked down and saw in her hooves a china bird, pulsating a neon blue glow. "Thanks!"

Her answer came in the form of a piercing scream.

"Lyra!" Derpy shouted.

"It's okay, kid," she said, rubbing her head as she sat on the floor. "My bed just fell apart, that's all."

"Oh no!" Derpy gasped and ran to her. "Do you need help?"

"Nah, I've got it. Could you give me back the sonic screwdriver I gave you?"

Derpy reached into her saddlebag, and instead of the china bird, she found the screwdriver, just as Lyra had said. "Here you go!" she said.

"Thanks, kid." Then she proceeded to work, re-screwing the screws and re-hammering the nails of her bed frame.

"I could really go for some cookies right now," said Lyra after a while and a second.

"Yeah, me too! Do you want me to stop by Jewel and buy some for us?"

"Nah, that's fine, I'll just bake them myself after this is through."

"Wow, Lyra, you're amazing! You can put a bed back together, and you can bake? That's so cool!"

A warm blush tinged Lyra's cheeks. "Aww, it's nothing." Then her head disappeared into a slice of bread. "Hey, aren't you running late?" she asked, breadcrumbs clinging to her locks of hair.

"But I'm not running!" exclaimed Derpy.

Lyra raised an eyebrow. "Ah, but aren't you? The bad wolf is coming. You're always running, through time and space. We all are, when you really think about it. But now's not the time for thinking! It's time to run!"

"Oh, that's true," said Derpy. "Well, good luck with your work! I'll be with you in spirit!"

Lyra smiled and shook her head in a very Octavia-ish way. "You're too cute sometimes."

"I mean it!" said Derpy excitedly. "I'll be a little ghostie-ghost to hold the nails." Then suddenly, at the drop of a heartbeat, her face fell, farther and farther down the mountain, leaving her with nothing but a butterfly mask. "Oh wait. I'm a ghostie-ghost now. Ghostie-ghosts don't eat cookies. Waaa!"

Lyra gasped and leapt to her hooves. Enveloping Derpy into a hug, she cried, "I will find a way to make you ghost cookies!"

"Really?" Derpy asked with a sniffle.

"Of course, trust me!"

"Okay then!" said Derpy. "Bye-bye, Lyra!" Then she stepped through the door and into an apple orchard. Its verdant green leaves looked almost too lush to be real, and the shining apples were the same as their size put strain on the branches.

Derpy walked through the deathly silent place in awe. "I came here," she whispered to the empty orchard, "when I was in first grade. My mom and my dad were here too. It was before I learned to fly, so he'd balance me on his back and fly me up to the very tops of the trees. And when I'd get tired of that, we'd play a game where my mom and dad tossed me apples and I had to run in circles around the tree trunk to catch them."

Squish, squish. From beyond the last row of apple trees, Octavia the Octopus came into view.

"Would you make good calamari?" was the first thing Derpy asked her.

"Do you remember the painting, Derpy?" asked Octavia with a strange urgency. "Do you?"

"Uh-huh!" Derpy nodded, her standard cheerful smile branded on her face. "It's a pretty picture. But it's broken. I need to fix it."

"Dinky has it." Her voice echoed as though she were speaking in a small, confined room with the sound bouncing off at odd angles. "When you find her, tell her that she dropped this." She held out a Barbie doll, with a long blond mane and cracked blue eyes.

"I will," said Derpy, stowing the doll safely in her saddlebag.

"Would you like some bubblegum?" Octavia asked, holding out an opened package. "I can hear the echo in my head. Patch the hole with bubblegum."

Before she could take a piece, her ears pricked up and turned to the right. A dog howled.

"The wolf is coming," said Octavia, patting Derpy's shoulder with a tentacle. "Would that make you the little piglet?"

"I'm sorry I called you calamari, Octy," said Derpy, readjusting her butterfly mask.

"Oh, it's quite alright. I won't last long, anyway, not like this. I can't stand the sunlight in this place. It's always nighttime in the dinner halls, you know?"

"What?" shouted Derpy. "I can't hear you anymore."

"You'll find Dinky having supper in the nighttime!" shouted Octavia, cupping two tentacles around her mouth as the apple trees began to sway. "You wanted a cookie for desert, right? The cookie is the sun."

"I wanted my painting!" Derpy shouted. "Do you know where it is?"

Octavia's violet eyes glazed over. "Oh Derpy," she laughed, "you're head's always in the clouds! Oh Derpy, your head's always in the clouds! Oh Derpy..."

"You never came to watch me skate, Derpy," said Lyra, standing right behind her with the same expression as Octavia's. "I was playing the bass; it was amazing! But it's okay, Derpy. There will be another time. After all, you're going to play volleyball with us next weekend, right?"

"I can't hear!" Derpy screamed. "I can't hear! Where's the painting, where's the painting?"

Somewhere above her head, the bad wolf laughed. "The world is odds and ends, is pages in a book, is the echo in the moonlight. Silver. Silver is beautiful, my friend."

"Stop this at once," echoed a mighty voice, and a doe burning bright like the stars charged through the orchard. "Stop! This ends now!"

"Why, my dear?" answered the unseen wolf. "The world is running through the trees while singing, the world is dancing drunk at morning, the world is cheesy movie nights, but for you, dear... For you, it is always a lesson."

Sighing, the doe turned to Derpy. "The painting does not exist yet," she told her. "Make sure to do your homework."

Derpy blinked, and when she opened her eyes, there was Dinky, sitting in the middle of an ice rink that about to split in half, and offering her big sister a platter of cookies that didn't exist.

Author's Note:

Comments

[CapetownCapitan]

We must have more chapters like this dedicated to Derpy.

[ConningOfficer]

Cough... sputter... I'm going to have to read this a half-dozen more times before I can make heads, tails, edges, horseshoes, or bits out of this!

[Ledgion]

Someone is on an 'Alice in Wonderland' kick right now it seems.

[IsabellaAmoreSirenix]

5309252 Yup, I feel like I horribly neglected Derpy in this story. In the few chapters I have left and in the edits I'll make in December, I'll have to give the cute little pegasus more screen time.

5309775 And to think I originally intended for Octavia to be the calm, level-headed one. Oh, how far this story has strayed from its original path. Not an entirely bad thing, though; it's fun seeing where it will jump off the rails next!

Influence is a two-way street, my friend.

Oh, you have no idea what's in store after this story is done. I'll have to blow up a universe and create a bloody war to recover from this sap.

5309787 Don't waste your brain cells on it; even I don't know what went on in this chapter. I sat down with my laptop, blinked, and had 1,800 words in front of me.

5310090 The main premise came from the fever episode in Hidamari Sketch, then I started throwing Doctor Who references into the mix, so yeah, let's toss Alice in Wonderland into the crazy cocktail that was inspiration for this chapter!