• Member Since 15th Feb, 2014
  • offline last seen February 11th

EPP


T
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Today is a big day for Starfall, he's going to have a dinner with his marefriend, sounds good? What if I tell you that her parents will also be present?

It shouldn't be a surprise that poor colt is feeling extremely nervous, so in order to help him, Twilight does what mothers do best.

Tells him an embarrassing story about her daughter.

[A/N] Starburst was created by kilala97, Starfall on the other hand belongs to Borsuq.

Disclaimer

This story is in no way cannon to Stars in the Making

Chapters (1)
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Comments ( 17 )

i thought its starburst not starfall?

EPP

5216129 Starburst is the OC created by Kilala, she is a daughter of Twilight and she is a mare, Starfall is a male OC created by Borsuq, for more info read his awesome story "When the Stars Align."

duh i forgot that starfall is the son of trixie but kilala already said that the female version is going to be apart of the next generation

I gotta say, having two characters with the "star" in the name got kinda confusing. Adorable story, but a bit confusing. And seemed redundant.

It had to happen!

5216451 I think that Kilala stamped her canon stamp on Starfall. Mostly because his character would have more to do with the others then Dove. Dove could be his older sister.

true but i prefer starburst being with fletcher better than starfall no offence

Good story but could have been improved with liberal use of the word "the"

Good story, rather humorous..

There is one thing though: Since this story is dealing with a flashback, it would be helpful if there were line breaks or other methods to show where the story is going from present time to the past and vice-versa. Honestly it took a little bit of work before I get what was the present time, and what was the flashback. I'm sure you were writing this and assuming that most if not all that read this story will see the flashbacks and when it's back to present time. But sometimes we need to make it like your audience are a bunch of morons and needs to guide the story along. (No offense is on purpose---just trying to make a point that we have to help the audience sometimes)

Long story short, re-format this, with some way to show where it is flashback, and when it is real-time.

Love this story but you wrote but I'm afraid this can't be entered in the contest Dx The stories cannot be previously submitted fanfics. I probably should mention this in the rules... XP

EPP

5593943 but I never thought of submitting it or any other already written story to the contest, I'll write a completely new one. Where did you get that idea from Kilala-senpai?

I'm glad you like it though.

5594312 Oh, it ended up in the contest folder for some reason haha XD Guess someone else did it

EPP

5594337 oh that explains it, then could you remove it from this folder? I can't since I didn't upload it. Since it's not in the contest it shouldn't be in that folder

Amazing story!

Love it, love it, love it!

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