This Can't be Good
This Can’t be Good
Pinkie Pie was looking everywhere in her house but Twilight was nowhere to be found. The others were searching all over the general area but neither of them had any luck. Pinkie appeared on a TV screen and started calling for Twilight.
“This doesn’t make any sense, where could she be? She wasn’t here last night when I woke up, she isn’t anywhere near the house, and she’s not in the school library.”
“Relax Sunset, we’ll find her in no time, just watch.”
“Bad news girls, Twilight ain’t at the barn, an’ ah don’t think she’s by the cakes.”
“Maybe she went home, I mean, not like she’d abandon her friends or anything like that.”
“No, she wouldn’t have left for Equestria without me. She would usually leave a note for situations like this.”
“Sunset, Spike darling, would you check just in case? It would be rather awkward if her world had two sets of the same…pony.”
“Well if you think so, but i’m not so sure that she would just up and leave like that.”
The Rainbooms, Sunset, and Spike went to the statue where the portal was. Sunset was taking deep breaths trying to calm herself down.
“What’s the matter, nervous?”
“Yeah. It’s been so long I…I don’t know. The last time I was in Equestria was when I stole her crown, I don’t think I’ll get the warmest of welcomings there.”
“Oh hooey, we’ve forgiven ya, an’ I’ll bet Twi’s friends over there have to. Just walk through, ask if they’ve seen Twilight, an’ come back, hopefully with good news.”
“It’s not that simple Applejack, but I’ll try. You ready Spike?”
“I guess. The sooner we find Twilight, the better.”
They both nodded their heads before walking through the portal.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The mane 5 were all gathered in the main room of the castle waiting for Twilight to return. They jumped when somepony came through the portal.
“Twilight, wow that was quick! How’d it go? Did you beat the sirens? Can I throw a Hooray the Sirens are Gone party now?”
Pinkie stepped back and ended her death hug after the pony gasping for air didn’t sound like her friend. She looked the new unicorn over and gasped.
“Hey, you’re Sunset Shimmer aren’t you? The one that took Twilight’s crown, and then Twilight went to get it but ended up making friends with you and…”
She rambled on and on until Applejack put her hoof in her mouth to muffle her voice.
“Sorry ‘bout that sugarcube. Howdy, mah name’s Applejack.” She said as she gave Sunset a hoof shake, nearly tearing Sunset’s off in the process.
“Uh, hey, my name is Sunset Shimmer. I have a question to ask you guys, has Twilight come back here?
All five were caught off guard with that question. They all stared at her with blank expressions on their faces.
She sighed, “Guess not.”
“I’m sorry darling but why would she have come back now? Isn’t she still taking care of those awful sirens?”
“I wish I knew the answer to that. We don’t know where she went, but I can say for certain that she hasn’t taken care of the sirens.”
“Oh my, what happened to Twilight?” Fluttershy asked while hiding behind Rainbow dash.
Sunset was silent, not wanting to bring the news that their friend was in danger. Spike was the one who stepped up to be the bearer of the situation. After listening to the whole thing her friends had all gasped. They couldn’t believe that Twilight of all ponys would just go missing like that.
“This is beyond dreadful, what if the sirens have her locked up or worse. I don’t even want to think about what else.”
“Hang on; I’ll go tell the Princesses.”
“Wait spike, maybe we can still find her over there.”
“I hope you’re right. If Twilight’s gone then who’s number one assistant am I going to be?”
“Well it was nice meeting all of you regardless of the situation. I hope we’ll see each other again someday.”
With that Sunset walked back through the portal to tell the others. Spike was about to leave but the others stepped up to give farewells. After Pinkie Pie was done talking she put Spike in the party cannon and fired him through the portal.
“Boy ah sure hope Twilight’s ok.”
“We all do Applejack, but all we can do is wait for her to come back. Like she said, it would be weird if there was suddenly two of each of us.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Spike came through the portal at rocket speed and crashed right into Sunset Shimmer. The others helped their friends up and sighed, they had already heard the report from Sunset.
“Well if she ain’t there then where in tarnation could she be?”
“Who knows where she is, but the try outs are in fifteen minutes. If we can’t find her in time then we’ll just have to go on without her.”
“Rainbow dash, we need her to use the counter song. Without her we don’t stand a chance against the Dazzlings, let alone saving anyone.”
“Sorry Rainbow, but I have ta agree with Sunset here. Without Twi, how are we gonna activate the magic an’ free everyone from their spell?”
“Just go with it guys, trust me when I say that my band is going to wipe the floor with the competition.”
Rainbow walked off before Applejack could comment on how it wasn’t just her band. She wouldn’t admit it, but she was pretty broken up about Twilight’s sudden disappearance as well.
“Wherever you are Twilight, I hope you’re alight.”
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
“So we’re going to hold off on giving our best until the finals right?”
“Precisely, then when the Rainbooms are no longer an issue we can gather the negative energy from them while their arguing. They’re the most powerful magic source here and they don’t even know it. By the time we’re done, we’ll have everyone in this school eating out of the palms of our hands.”
Adagio was practically having a field day, not only did their plan to make Twilight one of them work but they were almost about to get their true Equestrian magic back. The plan had gone off flawlessly to, and the Rainbooms were in for a surprise.
“Ugh, I wish they’d just put us on already.”
“Just be patient, we can’t rush this. Besides, I want to see the look on their faces when they see their precious little princess on our side.”
Twilight waved off the compliment, even if it was true.
“Come on Adagio, I’m not that special.”
“For realzies, cause I think that being a princess is a big deal.”
“Well that part is true, but I don’t think I’m any better than anyone else.”
“That’s not true Twilight, you’re a siren now, you’ll be the most important thing in this whole world.”
Hearing that from Adagio made Twilight smile, not her usual cheery smile, not her go along with it smile, but a smile that mimicked Adagio’s. She was feeling pretty good too, even though the shift from pony to siren would still take time to adjust to and the amulet had been mostly drained, she could still get more from the students later.
“I still have one question though. Where did you get this fourth amulet from?”
Stats
Page generated in 0.02 seconds
Total duration
983 users online
1,284,050 hits today, 2,004,447 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
More please.
WORK ON YOUR GRAMMAR AND SPELLING NOW! JamesESL is a YouTube channel that dabbles in the English language.
Please write more this is awesome!
PS: I hope the Dazzlings win
I'm enjoying this so far; I hope it continues to be this good.
One question though; why was Twilight not the least bit concerned about the change?
It isn't an issue, really; but explaining why she is just going along with the Dazzlings (when she came solely to stop them)
now would've been great.
5228008
Twilight is basically as logic-hyped as a Vulcan.
The dazzlings gave her reasons to join them that are sound and logical.
It's simple logic... Dammit I did it again, sounding logical...
Oh, this is good. I sure do hope that the villains will win this time.
Nice job, once again! This will be a bit more difficult, I imagine... Especially for Sunset; I can only imagine what it'll be like for her to see the one who brought her around to the good side turning to darkness.
5228451
Still, you'd think she'd at least be a little uncomfortable with a species swap.
5228505
The sad part about heroes always winning is that sometimes, the villains are right all along.
And even when they aren't, it's still fun as hell to see evil when sometimes.
GO DAZZLINGS!
This is an interesting fic, but one minor issue
You were doing great, keeping Twilight's thought process logical and well reasoned...and then you suddenly rushed the "Twilight is now a Siren" thing; it feels like a complete personality flip without being adequately explained. She went from "I don't know about this, but my friends are-" to "I'm totally on board with being part of the evil plan" in a heartbeat. Twilight is a hero, her fall to a villain can't be skipped over.
5229134 Point taken, I won't be updating for a bit due to corrections i'll be making in the chapters. Also, I need to give my brain a rest.
5226631 English is my first language, followed by a little Japanese.
5229237
My advice is do what I did with Lilth (Twilight's chapter notwithstanding, it was meant to be a clop one-shot) and plan out where you're going to go, and don't fall to the temptation of rushing there. Sudden flips are good for clop one-shots, but the real drama is watching the slow change from Element of Harmony to Evil Siren, and you were off to an incredible start.
5229301 Also remember they had all night to talk to Twilight about the whole thing. I know I need to put in more detail, but its not like she just turned around in a heartbeat, thanks for the advice though.
MOOOOAAAAAAAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really liked the Dazzling's idea to turn Twilight into a siren
It seriously looks like you really do suck at English because you have simple grammatical errors, so fix them. Now. Don't say you don't have time because you had time to reply, so you had time to fix them and make time if ya have to.
There are a few errors here and there, but I think it is very interesting and hooking!
BUT QUIT LEAVING US ON CLIFF HANGERS GOSH DANG IT
5229614
I don't doubt it. I just would have liked to see it :P
5229811 i'll admit, it wasn't my highest grade, but you may notice that I use words that sound right rather than being grammatically correct. I do have time and if you've noticed, I've fixed the other chapters a bit.
5230038
And that's not wrong. When it comes down to a choice between grammar and flow, go with flow every time. Grammar is meant to make language work right, but sometimes something just feels better, and in fiction, that flow is important.
If I, the writer, had a Cutie Mark, it would probably have something to do with having an ear for the way words flow, the rhythm of writing.
5230038 I have seen worse. I really have. It was like the author didnt even care about the language at ALL. Very bad grammar and little flow.
Best story I've found in a while.
I'm still enjoying the story, but I'm going to point out a few things.
Maybe it's just me, but using 'Mane 6' or any variation of it just doesn't feel right in a story. 'Twilight's Ponyville friends,' sounds a bit better to me. Again, maybe it's just me.
Twilight's jump in personality also feels a bit off. She knows what the Sirens are capable of and what they're after (or rather, she knows they don't have good intentions), so why is she suddenly so eager to help them. I'd say the amulet somehow corrupted her, but you mentioned that there wasn't any mind control involved.
Anyways, I'll stick to it and keep reading.
I can easily tell that there is going to be a History About the Fourth Amulet in the next chapter, and everybody is desperate know about it!
Outstanding Job, TL (Twilight Lightning)!
5272851
siren nature i guess?
9861486
Forced race change alters personality (and probably soul.)