Corrosion
“My name is Diamond Tiara and I’m on my way to die. Little food we had is nothing but a memory – maybe the last of the happy memories in my life.
“I’m talking to myself because, well, my two friends aren’t very talkative. The rest of us died in horrible circumstances and we’re the only ones left. I should consider myself lucky that I can still think clearly enough to say that. Even if no one hears me.
“Scratch that. I don’t feel lucky at all. At least those two don’t remember about all those things we’ve been through... About Silver Spoon’s body... Changelings... Whoever hears me now...
“I don’t want to be saved. Being saved would mean... It’d mean living with all this... I... I just...
“My name is Diamond Tiara and I just want this to end already.”
The last words echoed through the low, dark corridor. Diamond Tiara gave out a long cry and fell on the floor, panting heavily. Cold stones made her shudder, but she didn’t stand up; she curled into a ball and hid her face in her hooves.
Somepony touched her. She looked up and saw Boysenberry standing above her, her face emotionless. Diamond Tiara sobbed, seeing Scootaloo walking nearby in a completely erratic manner, hopping, punching the walls, and rolling on the floor.
“You want me to go further?” Diamond Tiara asked, her voice barely a whisper. “Leave me here... Didn’t you hear what I said?”
“Oh, I believe she heard pretty well,” Babs Seed said, staring at her burned hoof. “Just for your information, staying here means staying with me. But I guess you’ll like my company.”
“Well, who wouldn’t?” Button Mash asked, staring at the large mass of rotten flesh where his stomach used to be. “It’s not like they have anywhere to go... Not to mention that she’s hungry, dehydrated...” He tore off a bit of his flesh and sniffed it. “We have food.”
“Like, lots of food.” Featherweight muttered, staring at his body. There were bite marks around the wounds that killed him. Greenish liquid was oozing from them, staining his coat, which turned darker, each hair glued together with some kind of slime. “There’s still plenty.”
“No... No!” Diamond Tiara crawled back, retching. “I’d better go... Really, I’d–”
The taste of blood in her mouth brought her back to her senses. She blinked, realising that the ponies around her were gone. She raised her head and spat some shards of her teeth out.
“I’m sorry,” Boysenberry muttered. “That was the only way to bring you back.”
Diamond Tiara rubbed her temples. “H-how long...”
“A minute or so,” Boysenberry replied. “But it was much creepier when you did that for the first time. Scootaloo freaked out too and I thought it was over...”
Only now Diamond Tiara realised that she’d been hearing a happy song, distorted by echo and noises coming from behind the walls. Scootaloo spun in place and clapped her hooves, her eyes closed.
“Now that’s creepy,” Diamond Tiara muttered.
“Sure it is.” Silver Spoon patted her coat, which fell to ashes, revealing a layer of burnt flesh underneath. “She totally lost it.”
“I’m pretty sure we all did,” Diamond Tiara replied.
“Who are you talking to?” Boysenberry looked at Diamond Tiara unsurely. Diamond Tiara blinked and looked at the place where Silver Spoon used to be. There was no one there now, but she could swear that there was a small pile of ashes on the floor.
“C-could you punch me again?” Diamond Tiara asked, rubbing her temples. “I think I see things…”
“I don’t think this will help,” Boysenberry replied. “They’re giving us these visions…”
“I don’t know…” Diamond Tiara shook her head and looked at Scootaloo, who was trotting further away from them. “She’s already c-crazy… And I lost Silver…”
“Remember what happened to Uwazi?” Boysenberry asked. “There’s a way out from here…”
Diamond Tiara sighed. “And now you’re the reasonable one? We don’t know what was on the other side of that portal. It could’ve killed him right after he went there.”
Boysenberry gave Scootaloo a look and shook her head before turning back to speak to Diamond Tiara. “I feel that he’s in a better place now.”
“You know when I’ll be in a better place?” Diamond Tiara asked. “When I die.”
Boysenberry rolled her eyes. “We need to catch up with Scootaloo. I’ll drag you if I need to…”
“I’ll walk by myself,” Diamond Tiara replied, taking a step forward. It felt like ages passed before she put her hoof back on the ground. She staggered, resting herself against Boysenberry, but she moved forward anyway, gritting her teeth.
Suddenly, they heard Scootaloo’s groan. Diamond Tiara trotted faster, turning behind the corner.
“Well…” she muttered, stopping mid-step next to Scootaloo.
After spending so much time in narrow corridors, seeing such a big hall in front of her caused Diamond Tiara to nearly collapse. Her hooves trembled when she raised her head to see the ceiling. It was far above them; so far they could barely see it.
“Should we go there?” Diamond Tiara looked at Boysenberry, who shook her head.
“It doesn’t seem right,” Boysenberry replied. “See that button on the opposite wall?”
Diamond Tiara looked in the direction Boysenberry was pointing at, but she couldn’t see anything. She started to wonder if Boysenberry could really see it, or the overseers of the maze just told her about the button’s existence. Or maybe her own vision was giving up.
“Frankly, no.” Diamond Tiara shrugged. “What do you think it does?”
“I’d rather not push it to find out.” Boysenberry looked at Scootaloo, who kept staring at the wall, babbling something incoherent. Boysenberry shuddered, but ignored that and grabbed a pebble lying on the ground. She then turned back and threw it into the hall.
It seemed like forever before the pebble stopped rolling on the floor. It seemed that the hall was actually biggest than it seemed to them; at some points it seemed like the stone went faster than it should, as if it teleported a few inches before stopping. Boysenberry lifted her hoof, ready to take a step forward. Suddenly, something hissed, and a large drop of some green fluid fell on the pebble, foaming and hissing.
Boysenberry’s jaw dropped as she saw the rock slowly dissolving until there was nothing left but a quickly-evaporating puddle of the green fluid.
“Seems like we’ll have to push the button,” Diamond Tiara muttered.
Boysenberry rubbed her temples. “This…” She sighed, collapsing to her haunches. “There must be some other way…”
Diamond Tiara’s eyes widened. “There’s no other way, right?”
“Of course there’s not!” Boysenberry’s voice echoed across the hall. “They want us to go there!” She banged her hoof against the floor. “It’s their plan. An experiment.”
“I’m going,” Diamond Tiara said. “You don’t have much use of me anyway.”
“Are you crazy?” Boysenberry asked. “That’s what they want.”
“I don’t want to live anyway.” Diamond Tiara’s voice faltered and tears made another trail in her dirt-covered face. “And that’ll be faster than staying here to starve.”
“No.” Boysenberry stood up. “Too many ponies died so I could live. Now it’s time to make my sacrifice.” She took a step forward.
“Stop!” Diamond Tiara grabbed Boysenberry’s tail with her teeth. Several hairs fell out, but the rest held her firmly. “We… We can go together…”
“What about Scootaloo?” Boysenberry asked. “She can’t make it without one of us…”
“Maybe after we die, the portal will open and she’ll be taken out,” Diamond Tiara replied. “If we both go, we’ll have a bigger chance to reach that button so she can live…” She turned to look at Scootaloo, but she found out that the pegasus had left her spot by the wall.
“No…” Boysenberry froze, seeing Scootaloo trotting forward towards the hall. “No!”
Scootaloo, singing some song that made sense only to her, entered the hall. Boysenberry and Diamond Tiara rushed to her, but as soon as they reached the hall entrance, they felt a warm wave and they were thrown back into the corridor.
“Only one can go…” Boysenberry shook her head. “Fucking clever…”
The first drop of acid missed Scootaloo, who didn’t seem to notice it, still humming some tune without clear lyrics. Several small droplets landed on her, charring her fur as she went.
Boysenberry closed her eyes, but even then she could hear the gurgling scream accompanied by a loud hiss. She opened her eyes and saw Scootaloo lying in the middle of the hall, panting heavily. The acid burned a part of her flank and hind leg; the skin was almost completely gone, revealing the flesh underneath. Still screaming, Scootaloo darted forward, half-walking and half-crawling, dragging herself across.
The next drop hit her right wing, changing it into a limp pile of blackened bones that were quickly falling apart. Scootaloo gasped and fell on the floor, leaving a trace of blood as she crawled further towards the wall.
Diamond Tiara ran forward. She knew she’d be thrown back again, but she tried to join Scootaloo anyway. The magic blast threw her on the ground. Spitting blood, she stood up and looked into the chamber.
Scootaloo was nowhere to be seen. The acid began evaporating, forming yellowish-green clouds that obscured the view. Only after a while, Diamond Tiara saw some movement by the wall with the button. When she realised what was that, she trembled and fell to her haunches in a fit of nausea.
A barely pony-shaped lump propped itself against the wall, reaching its only remaining limb towards the button. Pressing it was, however, the last straw. Scootaloo shook and fell back on the floor, her body falling apart.
The interior filled with white smoke, clearing the room off the vapours of acid. After a while it escaped through small holes in the walls. Only then, the magical barrier disappeared.
“Let’s go.” Boysenberry touched Diamond Tiara’s arm. “We have to get out of here.”
Diamond Tiara said nothing, slowly standing up and moving forward in stiff motions. She shuddered, hearing the echo of her steps after entering the chamber. The acid could still be smelled in the air, making her stomach twist.
She followed Boysenberry, gritting her teeth and trying not to look at Scootaloo’s body – in fact, a small pile of black bones. When Boysenberry walked to them and poked one of it with her hoof, it fell apart like the remains of burnt paper.
“So, one of us is next?” Diamond Tiara muttered.
“I guess so,” Boysenberry replied. “And before you ask, they won’t allow us to do that ourselves.”
Diamond looked at Scootaloo’s body. “I figured as much. So, we have to keep on going?”
“Yes.” Boysenberry trotted towards the crack in the wall and examined it. “But at least it won’t last much longer…”
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Please! You're doing great on this story! Keep up the amazing work.
7095255
Umm the new chapter's up
8027317
Kind of.
8112151
It may take a while...
Can't wait for the next chappy!
And the last crusader has fallen. Man, this is really well written, but it's sad. I'm not even sure if I prefer the idea of one of them making it. On one hand, it would've been nice if she could have made it, but on the other hand, what's the point, her best friends are dead. In the end I guess I'm ok with how it went. My mind works like this, either all crusaders make it or none. Sad it turned out to be the latter, but you know you're doing something right if there is high body count in this kind of story.
Anyway keep up the good work, I'll be looking forward to what comes next.
Tricks and Traps?
...
DOOM II level intensifies
8579821
That's where the title comes from, yeah.
8579903
Really? I thought it was just a coincidence.
8581783
My prereader said that the story's pitch reminded him of Doom and that's how it started.
8581835
Awesome. Are you planning to finish this or is it cancelled?
8583792
I really want to finish it, but at the same time I kinda don't feel like writing it, likely due to its bleak and hopeless atmosphere requiring a right mood to write (on the other hand, winter is coming so maybe at least the weather will be on my side with this one).
this is one of my favorite stories. when will it be updated?
I really enjoyed this. I am a little sad to see it's not going to be finished.
My friend and I were reading aloud together to practice doing different voices and this was a great help.
Even if you don't finish this, did you have an ending in mind or and idea of what was going to happen next and how the next pony would die? Just curious. Morbidly curious.
10812466
I actually have bits of the next chapter sitting somewhere on my drive and I'd really want to finish this one. Maybe one day I'll get to write it.
Also, in the end there's a final deadly obstacle course and Diamond Tiara sacrifices herself to let Boysenberry live. Boysenberry wakes up and is told by doctors that she's the only one who woke up from a coma that already claimed nineteen other foals. However, she notices that the place doesn't quite look right - iirc, she was supposed to notice something from the maze on her nightstand.
10812686
Ooh. I didn't expect that the background pony would be the one to survive to the end, lol. Well, I do hope you will get back to this someday, but if not thanks for helping satisfy my curiosity! I appreciate that.