9. Our Town
A knock comes from the door to Twilight’s library. “Twilight, darling, you’ve been locked in your room ever since Hearth’s Warming. The only time I ever get to see you is before you go to bed, and that… contact is far too fleeting for my tastes.”
As she talks, Twilight trots over to the door and opens it, stepping inside to allow Rarity access. “I’m sorry, I just… I need to understand something.”
“And what, exactly, is that?” Rarity asks, looking around the room for any signs of what Twilight’s been eating the last few days.
“Time, the missing months… What happened during them?” Twilight asks, trotting back to the small fort of books she’s constructed around herself. “It… basic studies with the EM Mk. II seem to indicate that the missing time happened, but – but – we don’t remember it and are kind of… just filling in the blanks for ourselves. Like, from our perspective, we went from dating to loving each other in the span of a week, but really we had several months of dating before that happened. We just don’t remember it.”
Rarity frowns. “So… you’re saying our feelings carried over but our memories didn’t? Are you sure–”
“That’s not even the tip of it!” Twilight says, smiling enthusiastically. “This whole town’s sense of time is weird. Like… The battle against the horror beyond time and space–”
“He prefers it if we call him Bob,” Rarity says, sniffing the air. “Although he does readily admit to being a horror beyond time and space by definition. At least, that’s what his translator says. Ooh! I should do a segment on how they’re doing. He’s moving to the south part of town today.”
“Whatever,” Twilight says, shaking her head. “The important thing is this: Your radio show usually runs about a half hour, but it took me three hours to leave your house, rally the troops, and enter Trixie’s portal. Your clocks don’t even work correctly. In your bedroom,they go from seven to eleven to one to three, but downstairs they go from one to nine to twelve to three, and depending on…” She stops to scratch at her cheek. “I don’t know what, a minute can be as short as ten seconds oras long as forty minutes. Your whole town is a riddle wrapped in a mystery wrapped in an enigma.”
“While that’s all very interesting, Twilight, I still think you need to get out more. Your coat looks positively dreadful, darling, you need a spa day. Also… have you been filing your horn?” Rarity asks, giving her marefriend a critical eye.
“No,” Twilight says, briefly pulling her attention away from one of her books. The room is roughly 90% books now. “Why do you ask?”
“It just… looks sharper than I recall,” Rarity says, her exchange with the Pink Herald sharp in her mind. And longer. Rarity bites her lower lip. “Although… you know, I’m sure I’m just imagining that. Twilight, I know you’re busy studying time, but I’d very much appreciate it if you made some time for me. Just… an evening every now and then is all I ask.”
Twilight sighs, stares at her book, and moves to close it, wincing as she does. “You’re… absolutely right. I’m sorry, I just… these books are so important, and there’s this… I don’t know, compulsion, like if I stop reading or researching, something terrible will happen. I mean… what if another monster attacks tomorrow and something I read tonight could prevent it?”
Rarity trots towards her marefriend and kisses her neck. “Twilight, you can’t save this town from every emergency. Just… all I want is to spend some time with you, perhaps have a spa day if you feel so inclined. Pardon me for being so blunt, but your coat could certainly use it.
“You’re right,” Twilight says, smiling and returning Rarity’s kiss. “I promise, after your show we’ll spend some time together, alright? Just the two of us.”
“That sounds delightful,” Rarity says, giving the briefest of smiles. “I can certainly use a distraction after… recent news. Oh! The council’s started construction ofthe new radio station, Are you up for doing that science show we discussed?”
“I am,” Twilight says, glancing from Rarity to her books. “I… I guess it will get me out of the room, so that’s good. Anyways, isn’t it time for you to do your show?”
“Once again, Twilight, you are absolutely right, I just wanted to make sure you were alright first. You’ll be listening to the broadcast, I hope?”
Twilight smiles as Rarity trots back to the door. “I never miss it.”
Rarity trots back to the broadcast room and takes her seat, glancing at the special guest sitting across from her. “If you have to ask, then you shouldn’t know. Welcome to Pony Vale.”
***
Well, listeners, did you all have a merry Hearth’s Warming? I certainly know I did. Santa Hooves took away… a few debts I had to deal with, while Twilight was given a number. I also kept my deal with the Pink Herald, meaning that in a few weeks, our town will have a brand-new full-time radio station. While a part of me is sad to see my baby grow up and leave the nest, I am thrilled to know that you, dear listeners, will have a friendly voice to listen to at all hours. The new building is being built next to my home, so I’ll be able to keep a close eye on the new station and hopefully develop a good working relationship with the new station management, whoever or whatever they maybe.
Speaking of new buildings, the town’s reconstruction continues. The rubble has been cleared from half the lots and the foundation has been started for several new buildings. Amongst them is the Institute of Lost and Forgotten Things. While I’m still not entirely sure what the Institute’s purpose is, when questioned about their purpose here, a pony of… seemingly indeterminate appearance remarked that “Pony Vale is home to many lost things, and many things are forgotten in Pony Vale. We must be here.”
They also announced that if a pony has lost or forgotten something, the Institute will be happy to buy that thing from you. They neglected to explain how they could claim something that has been forgotten, but I’m not a businessmare, I’m sure they have several pages worth of charts and diagrams that explain it in perfectly concise legalese. Hopefully, we’ll learn more about what they actually do during the following weeks.
An update on the southern part of town: The southern part of town has been completely abandoned by ponies. However, it is host to an absolutely stunning number of locusts. The town council says they currently have no plans to confront the old lady reciting the litany of our sins and now residing in the southern part of town because, quote, “our sins are manifold and deep, and for them to be heard by equine ears would risk the balance.” Hmm, well… While I would prefer it if our town’s locust problem was resolved, I can’t argue with their logic. I certainly wouldn’t want them to jeopardize “the balance,” whatever that means.
[Sound of papers shuffling]
However, according to Miss Doo, the horror beyond space and time, or Bob as he prefers to be called, is moving to the south side of town today due to the ready abundance of open space and the fact that horrors beyond space and time are not perturbed by locusts in the slightest, and he “highly doubts a creature constrained to four dimensions could comprehend his sins.” Also, he’s apparently very excited for school starting back up next week.
A note to the schoolchildren in the audience: You’re going to be getting a brand new classmate soon. While he might not look like the rest of your classmates, and many of his ways and mannerisms are incomprehensible to us, he’s still a student just like you are, and I expect you to make him feel welcome. How can you do that? Here are a few simple suggestions, from me to you.
Don’t look at him. You don’t want ponies looking at you all the time, so give him the same respect. Now, obviously, if you’re talking or playing with him, you should do your best to maintain eye contact with… at least one pair of his eyes, but I don’t want you all to stare.
Invite him to your games. Just because a… thing doesn’t have hooves, doesn’t mean he can’t enjoy a good old-fashioned game of hoofball. According to Ditzy Doo, her daughter Dinky and the son of the horror beyond space and time have been getting along great. The two love nothing more than exploring the edge of the Everfree together while the son of the horror beyond space and time shovels all sorts of exotic creatures into his mouths and causes the grass around him to wither and die.
Ask him about where he’s from. There’s no faster way to make friends with someone than learning about them, and that’s just as true with horrors beyond space and time as it is with ponies. Granted, you have something of a disadvantage here as the horror beyond space and time can’t understand our primitive three-dimensional language anymore than we can understand his five-dimensional thought clouds. However, the Doos seem to have an affinity for bridging dimensional communication gaps, so if you have a question for the son of the horror beyond space and time, just ask her and she’ll translate it for you.
Don’t give him special treatment. I know this sounds… incompatible with the list, but I know none of you want to be treated with foal gloves, so just treat the son of the horror beyond space and time like you would anypony else. You know, if looking directly at that other pony tore away at your conception of a fundamentally sane and rational world, causing you to truly glimpse the insignificance of our little island of ignorance. So… that’s another reason you shouldn’t stare at your newest classmate.
However, I’m sure you’ll all learn lots of things from your new classmate, like how to think in five dimensions… Or even what the fifth dimension is. I certainly know I’m curious.
I’d also like to take a moment to applaud the services of the Doos. They have done so much to make our newest citizens feel welcome in Pony Vale and I commend their efforts. Why, I even heard whispers around town that… Bob invited the Doos to live in his thought palace while they rebuild their old house after it was tragically destroyed by the PVAB’s bombardment. Ooh, listeners, is there a chance for interdimensional romance to bloom in our town.
Speaking of the Pony Vale Artillery Brigade, I have an… unfortunate announcement. It seems, several former members of the Pony Vale Artillery Brigade, now members of the bomb squad, have died after their collars prematurely detonated. It seems somepony is accidentally broadcasting at 2400 MHz. To whoever’s doing this, I have an important message:
While vigilante justice is both commendable and a great way to enforce the laws, you should really be more careful. I mean, what if somepony’s caught as collateral in the explosion? You don’t want that on your conscience. Besides, killing them is exactly what they want you to do. The members of the bomb squad are now firmly in the hooves of the weather team and… my marefriend, and subject to whatever obscure byzantine punishments they devise. We don’t want to release them from their suffering early, do we Pony Vale? Not after what they did to us. No, let’s let our town visit upon them a fate worse than death after the bomb squad finishes their reconstruction efforts. Until then… Why would we want to get rid of free labor?
I know last week, it might have sounded like I was advocating vigilante justice, and perhaps I was, but since then, I’ve spoken with my marefriend and she made some very salient points about the utility of free labor and shared her plans on what she and Rainbow Dash want to do to them once reconstruction is finished. Without spoiling anything, I have to say that death seems like a comparative slap on the wrists.
Have you felt strange vibrations in the earth? Perhaps you thought it was just the secret lab under town testing some more of those… fusion devices that we almost got intimately acquainted with last week, but they inform me that that is not the case. They claim the epicenter, that is, the origin of the earthquake, is coming from miles below them and that they have no idea what the cause could be. More on this story as it hopefully doesn’t develop in the following weeks.
Now, a word from our sponsors:
I’m walking through an empty parking garage, my keys jingling in my pocket with each step. Is today the day? Will I finally stand up to my boss? Every step brings me further away from my car. Further away from safety. I want to run away, hop back in my car, and drive to home, but I don’t. I can’t. I want to, but I can’t. Instead, I wave my badge to the security guard and he gives me a nod.
I take my elevator up to the 13th floor. Bad luck, I know, but that’s probably the best way to describe my life right now: bad luck. Bad luck that my boss makes me work twice the hours everybody else does. Bad luck that I can barely afford to pay off my debt. Bad luck I can’t find the time to meet anyone. I’m so alone. I look around the office. It’s empty of course, no one else will be arriving for the next few hours. Of course they won’t, it’s only 5:00 AM. With a sigh, I turn my computer on and get to work.
Hours spent punching numbers in. Hours spent feeling my life drain away. I’m dying. Dying by inches. I want to burn the place down or storm out after telling my boss exactly what I think about this job, but I can’t. I need it to live. I need this job to live, but it makes me wish I was dead. Ha. Is that irony? I’m never sure. It never is.
Finally, it’s lunch. A little hour spent away from the computer. An hour spent talking with co-workers and complaining about the job. About the hours spent doing a job that could be better done by a computer, knowing it’s only a matter of time until the boot drops and I have to find some other way to make ends meet. When I get home tonight, I’m going to submit my resume to more places. Maybe I can get out before the inevitable. If not, at least I can collect unemployment for a few months.
Lunch is over. Back to the grind. Has it been seconds or hours since I got back here? It feels like time isn’t moving at all. The boss calls me over. Tells me I’m still not meeting standards, that I need to put in more hours. He doesn’t do this with anyone else. Does he just hate me or am I doing something wrong? I do my best, I put in the hours, but… I don’t know. I don’t think I care anymore. I stare at my computer and try to get myself to care about something, but all I can think about is the job. This job weighing me down and pushing me deeper into a lake of ooze. I’m up to my nose in it and still sinking.
The workday ends. Several hours later, I can go home. It’s dark out when I reach my car. It was dark out when I came in. I only get to see the sun on weekends, and even then, I have to come in for work. Is this hell? Is that it? Am I dead? I drive through the city, surrounded by lights in the darkness, rain splattering against my windshield. In front of me, I see the softly glowing arches and my stomach rumbles. How long has it been since I last ate? How long has it been since lunch? I can’t remember anymore.
I pull into the parking lot. I remember when I started this job. When I thought I was so lucky to be here. When I could care. I stare at the menu, trying to think of… What am I doing? This is… Just another meal. Just another day. I order my burger and sit down, unwrap it, and bite in. The moment I swallow the first bite, I know. I know this is my life. This is eternity.
Brought to you by Sugarcube Corner.
Ahh… Listeners, what did I just read? I feel… I don’t even know anymore. Listeners, I need some time to think, so until then, the weather.
***
Twilight’s ears perk up as the door to her library opens, a disheveled Rarity trots in and promptly collapses next to Twilight’s book fort. Before Rarity can hit the ground, Twilight’s left her book fort and has her arms around her marefriend. “What’s wrong?” Twilight asks, trying to lift Rarity up.
“That ad,” Rarity says, her voice flat. “When I was reading it, I could… I could feel the words taking something from me, like... “ She shakes her head. “It’s nothing, I’m probably just imagining things.”
“I don’t know,” Twilight says, abandoning her attempts to lift Rarity up and instead moving to cuddle Rarity, hoping the warmth of Twilight pressed against her will somehow improve Rarity’s mood. “Words have power in them. I mean, I’ve been doing some reading on subliminal suggestion, and it’s really fascinating, and… books.”
“Fiction, you read it, and… there’s nothing important or real about it, but if you do it right… if you put the words in the right order with the right emphasis, you can get ponies to care. You can make them laugh or cry and feel. Reading the right words can be like reading an incantation, twisting the victim to feel exactly what you want them to feel. Maybe…” She shrugs. “I don’t know, there could be something there. Future avenues of research on the potential properties of words. Ooh! This is so exciting and–” Twilight’s attentions return to the mare her forelegs are wrapped around. “Sorry, that’s probably not what you want to hear.”
Rarity smiles. “Actually, it’s…” She turns around and seals her lips against Twilight’s, the two creating a vacuum seal that entwines their tongues and draws them closer together. For several seconds, the two remain, enjoying the feeling of the other before Rarity reluctantly pulls away. “I’m sorry,” she says, a blush on her cheeks. “It’s just… listening to you enthuse about a new study on the property of words, I felt a flicker of excitement, and it was enough to thaw me from… whatever that ad was.” Rarity smiles and the two kiss again, drawing their bodies so tight together that no light can escape.
“That’s…” A long content sigh escapes from Rarity’s lips. “I love your passion, Twilight, and I don’t want to stymie your natural curiosity, I just wish… I’d like to feel some of that passion directed towards me. To feel like your love and not a burden. It’s… Oh, now you probably think I’m just some terrible nag.”
Twilight brings a hoof to stroke Rarity’s mane. “I’d never, it’s just… I’m kind of new to all this dating stuff, and there’s just so much to do, I kind of forget about… I know you’ll be there for me anyways, so… maybe I take you for granted a bit more than I should, but I promise I’ll make time for us every night. If I don’t, I give you my permission to drag me from the library kicking and screaming.”
“And that’s all I ever wanted to hear,” Rarity says, kissing Twilight’s cheek. “Now, as much as I’d love to stay and cuddle, I’m afraid the news waits for no mare and the weather will be over soon. Besides, I simply can’t keep Fluttershy waiting much longer.”
***
Well, listeners, I’m back and feeling infinitely better thanks to the tender ministrations of my marefriend, Twilight Sparkle. Speaking of Twilight Sparkle, do you remember Barber Groomsby, the butcher who cut my marefriend’s mane several weeks/months ago? Well, he was last seen screaming inside his barber shop, setting fire to his shop, and asking for the mercy of a just god. While I hate speculating on what “sins” he might be seeking forgiveness for, I think we all know his crime and his shame, and I can only say that I hope that his gods are kinder than I am. Also, I’m afraid my dear Twilight needs to learn that a barbershop is not the place for a lady to have her mane styled.
It recently came to my attention that Fluttershy, out near the Everfree, was having her own little adventure while our town struggled with the horror beyond space and time. To tell us more about it, we have Fluttershy.
Oh, uhmm… hello. Is it… is it time for me to talk?
It is dear. Would you like to tell us a little bit about your adventure? I hear it’s quite the story.
Oh no, it’s nothing special really, a dragon just started nesting in a cave in the Everfree, and I made him move somewhere further away from Pony Vale. There’s really… It’s nothing special.
Fluttershy, you’ll have to forgive me, but I have a hard time imagining a dragon living out in the middle of some dirty old forest. Could a dragon even live in a forest without burning it down? I’d imagine that if one got within a hundred feet of a forest, the whole thing would catch fire.
Uhmm… Rarity, I’d never want to correct you, but… these dragons you’re imagining, are they… would you describe them as creatures of flame and shadow?
Yes dear, that’s Dragonology 101. We all know dragons are subterranean evils made of fire and terror–
I’m sorry to interrupt you, but those aren’t dragons. Dragons are giant winged reptiles that can breathe fire. You’re… I think you’re thinking of Balrogs.
Really? So Balrogs are the creatures of flame and shadow that live in the deep places of Equestria? Hmm… which one is it that secretly controls the Equestrian government?
Neither… Dragons are far too solitary and direct to ever form a shadow government, and Balrogs are sealed evils that await the call of their master to cover Equestria in fire and destruction. It’s snake ponies that control the government. It’s an easy mistake to make though, snake ponies are very good at hiding in the shadows and being forgotten. Did you know that at this very moment a snake pony could be watching us? They are anywhere and everywhere, and they hate it when we talk about them, so… Maybe we should talk about something else.
A very good suggestion Fluttershy. So, is there any chance you care to shed some light on what the winged unicorns are doing here? They are all very mysterious.
Oh, they’re not that mysterious, they’re just on a holy mission to stop the unravelling of all things. They say it starts and ends in Pony Vale, but they don’t want to say anymore for fear of… I think they call it “influencing the myriad futures.” They’re just really worried about us. Like… every day, they tell me I have nothing to fear, and whenever I tell them I’m not afraid, they just get really upset, like they know I’m lying to make them feel better. I really couldn’t ask for more caring roommates.
Well, listeners, you heard it here first: The winged unicorns are just good roommates, here to protect us from the unravelling of all things. I know I’ll sleep soundly tonight knowing I’m in good hooves. Thank you for stopping by today and talking with us, Fluttershy. Also, if you want to learn more about Equestria’s flora and fauna, Fluttershy’s going to be hosting a new show when the station relaunches next year. I know I can’t wait to hear it.
Thank you, I really look forward to talking with everypony about which animals should terrify you the most. Did you know there’s a brainworm in the Everfree that can make you fall in love with anypony if it gets in your head? Actually, it’s not a worm, it’s technically considered an insect.
So… I suppose you could call it a lovebug?
That’s… I guess you could if it wasn’t absolutely horrifying. Why would you even want to joke about that?
Fluttershy, if we couldn’t laugh in the face of unspeakable horror, Pony Vale would be a very grim place indeed.
Listeners, before I leave you all tonight, I have a touch of good news. It seems that upon seeing Bob, the old woman reciting the litany of our sin’s mouth stretched into something strange and grotesque. Ditzy Doo reports that her mouth warped and cracked, growing steadily larger, quickly growing to eclipse the old woman in size. The second she tried to utter the first syllable of Bob’s sins, her whole body violently twisted out of existence as she fell into a dimension we cannot even begin to perceive. With her passing, her locust swarm–
Excuse me, those aren’t locusts, they’re… uhmm… they’re parasprites, actually.
Yes, well her parasprite swarm departed into the Everfree for parts unknown. Good riddance, I say. Hopefully, those foul creatures will never blight our skies again, and we shall never again hear the sound of an old woman reciting the litany of our sins.
And with that, listeners, I’m afraid I must bid you all adieue. I look forward to seeing you all next year and giving you the news in our new and improved station. Until then, good night, Pony Vale. Good night.
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5406822
I guess Twilight has also lost interest in communicating with Celestia? I mean, as soon as she wanted to send a letter, she'd have to notice Spike's absence.
5431300 An interesting catch. I swear, something's rotten in the town of Pony Vale.
Spike being gone is an interesting plot point, just like Flutters here getting a dragon to move away? Connection? I don't know. Also the mention of Twilights horn looking longer, a possibility she is trying to sand or carve off the runes on it to get her magic back?
5431558 You might think that, but I couldn't possibly comment.
I feel like I should know that reference...
(NOT LOOKING AT THE COMMENTS)