Chapter 1
Day 1-
I told my family I was going on a trip. What they didn't know was that I was going to another world.
When my girlfriend told me she was from another world, I thought it was a joke. Like the whole men are from mars, women are from venus thing? But nope, she is honestly a unicorn from another world. Equestria, she said. I wouldn't believe it if I wasn't standing in this world right now.
She begged me to help her find some crown. She said something about how last month she tried to dig up info on it, but someone spotted her and recognized her and she had to make a break for it. I gotta find out where it is, who has it and how to get it. And I have exactly 30 days to do it.
Man, I need to stop being such a pushover. I still can't believe I agreed to this.
I made at least some ground today though. It wasn't hard, the crown was right there on a stained glass window in the huge castle I started in. I just had to ask some guards what that was all about and they told me it was "The Elements of Harmony." Even told me where I could find the purple pony who was wearing it. Tomorrow I get to take a train to a place called "Ponyville."
I have to say, that's a stupid name for a town.
Day 3-
Took a little while, but I found her. She lives in the library in town. Kinda weird.
Of coarse, by "found her" I mean "found her house." The actual unicorn is off in some place called the Crystal Empire. Just my luck.
I broke in the... Treehouse? To get a look around, and I found the crown in a glass case. I thought of how great it'd be if I could just take it now and give it to Sunset later but... Of coarse, there's some sort of spell protecting the case.
I just love how things were going so well before but now all I'm finding are dead ends.
Well, it's not like I'm hurting for time just yet. I guess I'll just have to figure something out later when she finally gets back.
Day 10-
I just got back from the abandoned castle in the Everfree Forest. Sunset told me before I left that we're gonna need to communicate somehow and that book was our best bet.
And don't let that nonthreatening name fool you, I was almost killed today. The lengths I've gone through for that girl...
Anyway, I got to tell her what I found so far. I was hoping she would be nice and maybe grateful that I'm doing all this for her, but she was just all demanding. C'mon, haven't I at least earned a "thank you" by now?
The unicorn is back, by the way. Twilight something or other. Sunset told me not to talk to her, or to even let her see me. Something about how it will "endanger the mission" or something. Whatever.
Day 20-
Today was one hell of a day. When I woke up, the weather was completely crazy and the whole town was in a riot. Definitely a good day to stay in.
Things seem peaceful now, though. I heard from one of the townsfolk that Twilight became a princess or something, and that her coronation will be tomorrow. Guess I'll be heading back up to Canterlot.
Day 21-
Today was... eventful.
I took a long train ride up to Canterlot. The train was full of ponies all going to this girl's coronation, as well as the pony of the hour herself.
The crowd was huge so I didn't have to worry much about her spotting me. Even if she did see me, I'd just be a face in the crowd that she wouldn't remember.
She gave a huge speech and... it kinda hit me. I mean, this is the girl we're gonna steal a crown from. Seems kinda mean... I mean what did this girl do?
While I was there, I got the oh so wonderful news that someone found out that I used the portal and they decided to move it to the crystal empire. I also got the better news that Twilight will be departing for the crystal empire around the time the portal will open, so I guess there's that.
I'm sure Sunset will be really happy to hear this. It's like the stars are aligning for her.
Definitely not looking forward to trekking through the Everfree Forest again, though.
Day 22-
Sunset Shimmer is not the girl I thought she was.
I managed to make it through the Everfree Forest again, and I got to talk to Sunset through that book. She told me she planned on using that crown to become more powerful, and to take over Equestria. Of coarse, she told me after I told her EVERYTHING. Every little piece of information she needed to steal the crown from Twilight. I should have asked what she was planning BEFORE... ugh. Well there isn't anything I can do about that now.
Me an her are officially OVER. I'm not going to do her bidding anymore.
I need to tell Twilight... no. She won't believe me. Fine, then I'll find some other way to help.
I'm going to the Crystal Empire tomorrow. I heard they're looking for royal guards, if I can take the job maybe I can stop Sunset Shimmer from taking the crown.
If not, I'll go back through the portal and help any way I can. I'm not going to let Sunset have her way.
Day Whatever
Just found this journal. Man, my handwriting was bad. Must have been the hooves.
Somehow I managed to help Twilight get her crown back, but Sunset stole it anyway. She turned into this freakish she-demon but got her butt handed to her in the end. I gotta say though, I'm gonna miss Twilight. There was just something about her... I keep having to tell myself she's just a pony from Equestria, that there is no way it'll work but I can't help it. I love everything about her. I hope she'll come back soon.
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Thirty moons does not mean thirty days. It means thirty lunar months.
Really, how difficult is this for people to comprehend?
This would have been a better story if you hadn't made this one MASSIVE, unforgiveable mistake.
The thirty moons thing didn't really bother me too much. Either way, it's a fairly interesting idea, and while the execution could have been better, it was a fun read.
5207005 I hate to break it to you, but there is no real answer to how long a "moon" is in Equestria. The show itself says the Apple Family Reunion only happens once every one hundred moons, and yet apparently 100 moons spans less than a year since the first one was during the Summer Sun Celebration in the first episode and the second was in Apple Family Reunion in season 3. The episode "Princess Twilight" which is the season 4 premier says that the last summer sun celebration (when the first Apple Family Reunion we saw took place) was exactly a year ago.
A lunar month is approximately 30 days. There are 365 days in a year. 30 x 100 is 3,000 days, which is quite a bit longer than a year.
I feel I should have enough liberty in a fanfiction to assume that moon at least could mean a day. It's horribly unlikely since given my proof earlier the Apple Family Reunion should have happened three times between the two Summer Sun Celebrations, but still. I have seen the term "moon" mean that before in other stories. It's not that big of a mistake, if it is even one at all.
5207964 No, sorry, it's established and accepted that one moon is a lunar month, and that the "100 moons" thing in Apple Family Reunion was the writer for that episode SEVERELY screwing up.
If you try to claim 1 moon=1 day, you will be called on it.
5208439 I've seen every episode of the show multiple times and it wasn't established anywhere. Common headcanons are not canon just because they're "accepted."
Even if it's said somewhere in some interview, I can't be expected to have heard every little thing that was said by the staff. All that should be expected is that I watched the show and payed attention.
It wasn't stated in the show, therefore I can make any guesses I want. Anyone, including you, who calls me out especially saying something that can be proved wrong using direct facts stated in the show is being overly nitpicky.
For Celestia's sake, this story is very flawed and there are many fallacies in logic you could point out, I don't see why this one bothers you so much. (If Flash was missing for a month beforehand, why didn't anyone point it out? Wouldn't he have missed a lot of classes? Why didn't he just straight up tell Twilight what was going on if this was true? It's not like she wouldn't believe him. Just a few off the top of my head.)
5210054 It's actually a common sense thing? Because the term "moons" as reference to "lunar months" comes from our real world and is just an archaism? Which makes perfect sense to use in a setting like Equestria, which is WHY it's used?
Bottom line is, 1 moon = 1 lunar month. It always has meant this, it always WILL mean this. It's common sense, it's common knowledge, and yes, it IS Word of God--even as recently as the DVD commentary on Rainbow Rocks, where the scriptwriter specifically mentioned having had to find a way around that little problem. And also specifically says "six moons" have passed since the first movie. So yeah...we now have WORD OF GOD that the events of season four happened over the course of six months.
Unless you somehow think everything that happened in season four happened in six days.
Still wanna argue this? Or are you prepared to admit you made a mistake?
5210079
No, and I never really wanted to argue in the first place. The only reason I did was because you were acting so nasty and condescending.
Seriously, why? Why are you being so horrible to me? You could have simply told me that the fact was wrong without acting as pretentious as you possibly could. Do you like sucking the fun out of making fanfiction? Does it make you feel better somehow?
Well good job. You tore down a beginner writer who is just starting out on this website. Someone who is already overly self conscious and nervous. You managed to make her feel stupid and horrible, and from here on out she's going to be much more afraid of releasing anything than she already was just in fear that she might have gotten some random fact that wasn't even stated in the show wrong. Was it worth it? Are you proud of yourself?
I always thought that writing fanfiction and sharing it was supposed to be a fun experience. Sharing ideas and stories with a community and maybe building some writing skills while we're at it.
I guess I was wrong.
5212860
Don't worry; most of the folks here aren't like that. Sadly, they will downvote any and all stories containing Flash Sentry for reason of him being. Which is all kinds of stupid, but that's the thing about a public forum: You get a lot of stupid along with the rest, but the stupid tends to be very vocal and reactionary.
I rather liked it. Gave you an upvote, too. Don't mind Mothymoth down there much, with the way he/she's acting I wouldn't either.
5212860 Eh, don't worry about it. Flames are like campfires. You can either get burned by them or use them to make s'mores.
And yeah, some people around here can be very insensitive. Don't let it get too you, take what's worth having, leave the rest and you'll be just fine.
As to the story, I liked it. It was short and entertaining. I would question having Flash go to such great lengths (psychological implications of going from Human to Pony to Human again are massive) for Sunset Shimmer, but I'm reading too deeply into it. I could if you want too, but I'm more content to simply read and enjoy.
flesh suntri is fke n ghey
*leiks anywae*