• Published 25th Apr 2012
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Lyra's Human 2: Derpy's Human - pjabrony



Serveral years after the events of "Lyra's Human," Derpy Hooves meets a human of her own.

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80: All a Derp

Karyn took stock of her situation. The spell had worked, thankfully, as she would have felt distinctly foolish if her escape attempt had proved futile. She wound up on the ground, which was a second point of relief. Under normal circumstances a crossover at ground level on Earth meant being in the air in Equestria, and Karyn was prepared to change into some form of gliding animal like a flying squirrel. But either because they had been in the subbasement and that coincidentally translated to the ground in Equestria, or because the spell had a fail-safe for when a non-pegasus used it, she did not fall.

Now less fearful of being attacked, she could make plans with a cooler head. She looked around. Not having even an average sense of direction, let alone Derpy’s auto-mapping magic, she had to find her way through Ponyville to get help. She believed herself to be on the outskirts, and her first choice only proved to have a sparser concentration of buildings, so she had to turn around. Where was everypony?

Karyn remembered that Sweet Apple Acres was somewhere along the border of Ponyville, and the thought of Applejack and her orchard made her realize how hungry she was. She had not eaten since breakfast. It seemed like a long time before.

But Sweet Apple Acres could be clear on the other side of town for all Karyn knew, so she reversed her direction and walked toward what she hoped would be a more densely populated area. She wanted to find somepony, just to see a friendly face.

As she turned one corner she saw a cart disappearing down a side street, and jogged to catch up with it. She couldn’t reach it, but she did find the Ponyville market.

The market was in the process of closing up, and many ponies had already taken down or secured their stands. Karyn didn’t recognize any of them. She had met many ponies in her travels, but none were present. Not only were famous ponies like Rarity or Fluttershy nowhere to be found, but even background ponies that she might have recognized, like Roseluck or Amethyst Star weren’t around. She had to try anyway.

Running up to one of the stallions who was folding up a stand, she said, “Excuse me, sir, but I’m in need of help. It’s kind of a long story, but—“

“I really don’t have time to listen to a long story, miss. I’ve got to get home to my fillies, they’re waiting for their dinner.” He worked quickly and was trotting away so as to end the conversation. The other marketers followed suit. None of them made eye contact with her, and Karyn felt distinctly unwelcome. She pressed on into the main square, but even there it was sparsely populated and the ponies who were around hastened to take care of other business.

Karyn considered that, despite their outgoing nature, ponies who didn’t know her could still be a little wary of a human. She decided to alter form into her standard pegasus version of herself. Keeping the same cutie mark, she would clearly be a human, but at least she should be able to attract attention.

She did attract attention, but not the kind she wanted. If peace had been declared between ponies and changelings, word hadn’t gotten to Ponyville. A few windows closed and some walks turned to gallops as they ran in fear. Well, Karyn was just going to have to deal with it. Not everypony would have seen the green flash, so surely somewhere she could find help.

But what kind of help? On the horizon she saw what she thought was Sugar Cube Corner, but Pinkie Pie wasn’t the kind of pony that she expected to understand the gravity of the situation. Rarity would be better, but Karyn had no idea where the Carousel Boutique was. Fluttershy would be sympathetic, but only to Derpy as a fellow pony. Would her pony disguise be enough? Karyn still held a grudge anyway. The pony she really wanted was Rainbow Dash, but Cloudsdale was utterly inaccessible, and that depended on Rainbow even being there.

No. This was not the time for Karyn to take a second choice, even if it was an Element of Harmony. She needed the help of a Princess. An alicorn, who could command others and had the leadership experience to figure out the right step.

Karyn desperately wanted someone else to be in charge.

She had to find the library, and certainly the ponies of Ponyville would be helpful there. There in one of the houses was movement. Karyn knocked on the door with her hoof. It was another pony she didn’t recognize, a mare with a baby pony behind her on the floor.

“Please excuse me, I’m a stranger in town. Could you tell me where the library is?”

The mare rolled her eyes, as if used to the question. “You won’t find the princess there. Everypony comes to see her now, but if you want to you’ll have to go to Canterlot and wait your turn.” She slammed the door.

Karyn couldn’t tell if the mare was as bothered as she sounded, or if indeed she was even telling the truth. It could be a convenient excuse that all of Ponyville knew to give strangers. Still, going to Canterlot was not a bad idea. She could see Princess Celestia herself. Karyn galloped with a purpose as she sought out Derpy’s house. At least she knew where that was.

Ponies had no need of door locks, except in the palaces of the princesses where great and dangerous valuables were secreted. Karyn lifted the latch and entered with no ceremony, only to hear a small, “Blert.”

“Oh, no. Poor kitty.” She shifted back to human form. “Mommy’s in terrible trouble. It’s all my fault, really. Now I have to try to take care of it. Or to ask somepony who can to take care of it. But I can attend to you while she’s away.”

She topped up the food bowl with extra kibbles. If a major effort was needed, she wanted Muffinhead good and fed. Then she attended to his sandbox before finding the stack of papers that Derpy kept in the kitchen. There was something she needed.

After a quick search, she found the bank book that Derpy had shown her when Karyn had been awarded the fee for helping Rainbow Dash open her park. Once more she assumed pony form and took off toward the bank. The line dragged forward, and every moment reminded her of what Derpy could be going through.

“Can I help you?”

“Do you know how much the train ticket to Canterlot is?”

“We don’t sell the tickets here.”

Karyn held up a hoof. Ponies were normally so bright and helpful. What was going on? “I know that. I just wanted to avoid going all the way down to the station, getting the price, coming back here, taking out money, then going back to buy the ticket. But if you can’t be helpful, I’ll just take out twenty bits and hold the rest in change.”

He dug through a drawer and pulled out the bits in a small envelope. Karyn took it in her mouth and left the bank.

On to the train station, where again the line was long and slow as families of ponies laughed and talked about their plans at various northern destinations.

She wanted to jump the queue, explain to everypony that she was on a mission to save Derpy and that mattered so much more than their pleasure trips, but of course she did not, and it would not make the train come any sooner. But perhaps her fortunes were coming around, for the train arrived a moment after. Once in her seat, at last she had a moment to think.

Although her intent was to return to Earth and rescue Derpy, Karyn did not believe that time had ceased to flow there. She had no proof, but something in her heart said that the bond with her home world that kept it fixed in time had been severed. The weight of it fell on her shoulders.

She had been arrested, given a record that would follow her the rest of her life. How many crimes had she committed? Certainly pulling a gun on a federal official would be the worst, even though it wasn’t real. Somehow she didn’t think the changeling defense would hold up in court. It didn’t matter. Her fate had been sealed when they caught her. Arrest records were public. No company would hire someone who had a record for a department like IT.

Would it even be worth it to finish school? Would she be allowed to graduate? If she went back, rescued Derpy, and went on as if nothing had happened, would she be arrested again? In one moment, because of some stupid woman crowding her on an elevator, her destiny had changed. She would live out the rest of her life in perpetual debt, struggling to keep a job, with her student loans hanging over her head until some other disaster came along.

The mountains of Canterlot grew closer, but Karyn saw them as the bars of a prison cell. Other ideas bounced in her head. She could go back to Mike and hope that he could support her. Or even say goodbye to her parents, sell everything, and move in with Derpy. Why not? She was more changeling than human, the way she had used her magic like an action hero. Earth was no longer her home. Better to leave for Equestria.

The knock of the train wheels as she pulled into Canterlot jerked her out of her self-pity. Derpy was what mattered now. Without any baggage or companions, she could be the first off the train and get to the castle. Although Canterlot was a maze, the palace was the most prominent sight, and every turn not blocked by a building marked her progress as the tower grew closer.

Even here, Karyn noticed, the faces of the ponies seemed cold and distant. Canterlot was never the friendliest town, but again the population, mostly unicorns, was sparse and offered no sign of greeting. No matter. Only one pony mattered. She reached the great gate of Canterlot Castle and accosted the guard.

“My name is Karyn, of Earth. I need to speak with Princess Celestia right away. One of her subjects is being held captive by the cruelest of enemies, and I need her help.”

The guard was a pegasus, and he turned to his companion. His expression broke into a smile, then a full laugh as his wings fluttered. “Go on, you. Have fun somewhere else, little filly.”

Karyn remembered that she was still in pegasus form and quickly focused her magic. For once, what she needed to be was herself.

“See, I am a human, Derpy’s human, and I need to speak to the princess now!”

“Even so, Princess Celestia is far too busy. Don’t you see?”

He pointed behind her, and Karyn spun around. She saw nothing but waning daylight. “What?”

“Even now Princess Celestia is lowering the sun. Do you think she can be interrupted for the likes of you?”

Of course. Karyn was not native Equestrian, and she’d forgotten that a princess there had more than only political power. Which was why she wanted her anyway. She still held the hope that Celestia could cast a spell and fix everything.

Still, that wasn’t her style. Celestia did not like to use her power indiscriminately. Not like Karyn who had disguised and faked weapons for her own ends. What she needed was a pony who had power, but had been known to break rules.

“Princess Luna, then,” she said. “If Celestia is busy with the sun, then there’s time for me to speak to her sister. Just a few sentences, to explain.”

“Princess Luna will not want to—“ As the guard argued, a shadowy voice came from behind. “Your shift’s over anyway. Go on, get home to your wife. I’ll take this one to my mistress.”

The speaker came into view. It was one of Luna’s personal guard, the so-called “bat” ponies. His wings were webbed and his teeth were sharp. Karyn was put off by his appearance, but consented to be led up by him to the Tower of the Moon.

She was held once more as the guard went in alone to plead her case. He must have been effective, for a moment later the door glowed with dark blue magic and the seal was broken. “Enter,” said the satiny voice of the night princess.

There she sat, and to Karyn’s eye she seemed more vivid and real than anything else. Surely, she had found the one she needed. Everything was going to be all right. She burst into the room and threw herself onto Luna, burying her face in the princess’s mane. She sobbed, and as she did her tears were whisked away to become more sparkles of stars. She felt the comforting embrace of a hoof.

“Please, your majesty, I need you to come back with me. They’ve got Derpy, and who knows what they’re doing to her?!” Karyn looked up, but Luna’s face invited her to open more. “They could torture her to make her talk, or run experiments to steal the magic of her wings, or anything, but they’ll never let her go. You have to come and help. Derpy belongs here where she can fly free.”

Luna had not spoken as Karyn had poured out her heart to her, but still she felt some comfort just by the power that lay before her. Still, it was past time for practical help. She looked up to see Luna was now facing away, as if fearing to speak. But speak she did.

“Child of another world, take heart. Your friend is safe. I watch over her now, as I do all my little ponies, as the moon rises, as she takes to her nightly slumber.”

“You don’t understand, Princess! They have her!”

“They do not.” Luna now turned, her face grave. “She is safe in her bed at home. As are you.”

“But what—you mean this is…?”

“You dream, Karyn Hubert. You dream now of your friend Derpy Hooves, as you have many times before. Tonight the dream is darker though.”

Karyn stood up. She thought about pinching herself. “But it feels real!”

“All dreams do, until the dreamer wakes. But I assure you, on my honor as co-ruler of Equestria, that you are presently dreaming, that Derpy is safe, and that neither of you were ever captured.”

“Why?”

Luna’s face fell, and a light of hope vanished from her face.

“Why would you send me such a cruel dream?” Karyn yelled. “To teach me a lesson? You couldn’t just have sent me a letter or summoned me to a meeting? ‘Karyn, you’re being a little careless. Derpy could be in danger.’ That would be all you needed to say. Instead I have to watch Derpy get hauled away in a car and tortured to make the point? Is that what you think I need?”

“Human child, you err. I do not weave your dreams for you. I merely enter them to watch over you. I would never be so cruel.”

“I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

Again Luna turned away from her. “It is rare that I reveal myself in full form to a dreamer, but inevitably the same reaction and the same accusation come. It is my lot, and I have come to accept it, but I had hoped that someone from another world would be more open.”

Karyn wanted to apologize again, but it felt hollow, and she kept quiet. Instead she said, “Have you always entered the dreams of humans? Or am I the first?”

“We were not aware of your world until the unicorn Lyra discovered it. Her passion is to be commended. Since then I have found that the dreamscape crosses the boundaries and that I can travel there. I have not entered the dreams of all humans, but only those who know of me.”

“And you help them all?”

“When they need me. Tell me, does this dream represent your fear?”

Karyn flashed back to when she learned that Luna watched over dreamers. Scootaloo was in a similar predicament. “Well, yes! If that building we were trapped in isn’t real—and thank goodness for that!—there are still people out there who want to do things like that to Derpy, and who wouldn’t care about me or anyone else?”

“Who?”

“What?”

Luna smiled for the first time. “It is my job to aid you in dealing with the fear in your dream. So, who is it you think will harm Ms. Hooves? Throughout this dream your enemies have been nameless. Can you remember what they looked like?”

“Well, no, now that you mention it. Isn’t that the way dreams go?”

“As I said, this dream should be as real as your waking life until you leave. So the people holding Derpy are faceless as well as nameless. I ask you a third time, whom do you see occupying those positions?”

Karyn scanned the room. Part of her still refused to believe that it wasn’t real. But she finally paid attention to Luna’s question.

“That’s just it. It’s the faceless I fear. Most people on Earth are nice when you get to know them, or if they’re not then everyone avoids them. But when they get together in groups and make rules and regulations that no one’s allowed to question, that’s when they get mean. Because they’re acting with good intentions, or think the other people are.”

“So you are all right with Derpy being found by any person, but not more than one?”

“Even a group, if they knew, might be OK. I’m just afraid of everyone finding out. Wait, are you saying that I should let more people see Derpy so that I get more accustomed to it? That if I form a kind of bubble of people who do know her, others won’t?”

Luna raised her eyebrow. “I am not saying anything. I only offer comfort and guidance. But now I will make a pronouncement. As it stands, you hang between our two worlds. You have walked in Equestria, felt its magic, known its citizens. Still you live on Earth, and your passion to stay and grow into a woman is strong. I foresee a moment when you will no longer be able to straddle the fence, a time when you must make a decision for yourself, whether your heart truly lies on Earth or in Equestria.”

“Is that a prophecy?”

“It is an estimate of what will come to be based on all I know. Which, if you’ll pardon me, is more than you do.”

Karyn rose. “Great. Now I’ll be trying to figure out what you mean until it’s too late.”

Luna’s laughter brightened the moon. “I advise against it. There’s no hidden meaning, merely a taste of what’s to come.”

“Then may I wake up now? I’d like to be out of this dream as soon as possible.”

“In a moment. I will offer you a choice that I do not give often. The lessons you have learned tonight will stay with you always. But if you elect, you can wake up without remembering this dream. You will only know that you ought to be extra protective of Derpy in the future.”

Karyn stepped back as Luna pulsed her horn. It freaked her out that the pony before her had the power to alter her mind, especially as she was only present in spirit. Still, the offer tempted her. All the suffering that she had undergone came back to her.

“I suppose it’s not a very brave choice to ask you to let me forget.”

“You may consider it akin to taking an amnesiac drug for a painful surgery. Not true anesthesia, but helpful once it’s over.”

“And I did have that once.” Karyn heard her own tone of voice, the first relief and relaxation of her dream. “But still, something tells me that I’ll want to remember. Can I have a moment to think about it?”

“Take all the time you like,” said Princess Luna. “This is your dream.”

She stepped to the window and beckoned Karyn to accompany her. Looking out over the Canterlot night, she could see Ponyville in the distance. It was only an image, but in the real version of it, Derpy would be waking up soon, getting ready to spend the day with her friend.

“All right. I know what I want.”

***

Karyn found herself at the breakfast table , talking to Derpy, as the coffee kicked in at last.

“So how have your classes been going?” Derpy asked.

“Good. A lot of work, a lot of studying, but I’m getting a handle on it.”

“Yeah?”

Karyn stretched and yawned, then focused. No matter what happened, it was going to be an awesome day.

Author's Note:

I almost didn't have this up in time, but I made it! Here's the preview:


“Well, you and I will have to agree to disagree on that one.”

“How does that work?”

“That’s when two friends stop arguing because the friendship matters more than the argument,” said Karyn.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The road passed out of the residential areas and became a parkway. Trees lined the road in their fall colors, and Derpy was silent for a moment. Then she said, “It’s so pretty. We don’t have this in Equestria.”

“Fall colors? Sure you do.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Karyn grinned and walked away. “Thanks, Derpy. Because of you I got some praise from Mom.”

“I still think you’re lying to her in a way.”

“Oh, hush. Let’s think about how we’re going to feed you.”


Come back next week for that and more!

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