• Published 25th Apr 2012
  • 15,678 Views, 2,174 Comments

Lyra's Human 2: Derpy's Human - pjabrony



Serveral years after the events of "Lyra's Human," Derpy Hooves meets a human of her own.

  • ...
54
 2,174
 15,678

PreviousChapters Next
A "Derpy's Human" Hearth's Warming Eve

Note: The events of this story take place contemporaneously with those in “A Lyra’s Human Christmas.” It is split into three sections, each of which covers one day. You can read that one first, or read this one first, or you can switch back and forth as each section comes about. I hope you enjoy this little gift.

Friday

When Derpy, by special appointment, appeared in Karyn’s dorm, she looked around, then started shivering.

“Brr! Shut the window, Karyn. It’s cold. Oh, and hello.”

“Sorry, Derpy. I know it’s silly, but when the weather starts getting colder, I like to open the windows and sleep under two thick blankets with warm pajamas on. And we don’t say hello now, remember.”

“That’s right! You told me about this. Merry, um. . . “ Derpy searched her memory. “Merry Chrysalis!”

“Christmas.”

“Christmas. It’s a hard word to say.”

Karyn got up and shut the window, then turned to face Derpy with a big smile on her face. “Maybe so, but it’s the best time of the year!”

“Tell me about it. What makes it so good?”

“Well, first of all, there’s all the decorations. The stores and the homes all put up pictures and drawings and lights, ooh, the lights are the best. Some places have lights with lots of colors that blink on and off and make it look like Rainbow Dash is flying by. Some have white lights that hang down from their roofs like icicles. Some people really go all out and make panoramic displays with their lights, and people come to watch and they have to help pay for the power to keep the lights on.”

Karyn ran over to her computer and pulled up a video of one of the fancy light shows. “Then there’s the music!” she said. “Special music that we only play at this time of year. It’s happy and stylistic, and because you don’t listen to it for so long, every year it’s like an old friend coming to visit. There are old standards and new pop songs, and most of them are good.”

Derpy sat in the chair at the computer desk and watched the light show. The pictures that the lights made nearly hypnotized her, and she was just bobbing her head to the music. When it finally ended, she said, “I liked that.”

“And this is just the beginning. It all ramps up until the big day. That’s the best part.”

“Huh? Why is it so good?”

Karyn looked out the window. “Maybe just because there’s so much preparation and anticipation. Everyone works a little harder each day so that we can have a true holiday, a day of rest and fun. We save our money, we buy presents, we put up the decorations, we plan parties. Kids look at the calendar each day counting it down. On the night before, Christmas Eve, everything slows down and it’s the calm before the storm. The world takes a deep breath, you go to sleep, and then you wake up and you can’t believe it’s happening. You go downstairs and see the presents under the tree.”

“Presents?” Derpy’s voice became nervous, but Karyn didn’t notice, being so focused on her story.

“Yeah. That’s what kids look forward to. It’s kind of funny, really. Every young child makes up their list and hopefully they get it. We wrap the presents so that Christmas morning there can be paper all over the place and a big mess of stuff. The kids open everything, but then they don’t get to play with it because family visits are happening. It’s OK though, because there’s a week off from school where all the kids can take the video games they’ve gotten and beat them, or whatever—Derpy, are you all right?”

Derpy had put on her puss face and was looking down. “I’m fine. Just go on, tell me more about Christmas.”

“At Christmas dinner, we—no, I can’t do this. Tell me what’s wrong.”

“It’s just that, talking about the presents, I think back to when Dinky was young. We don’t give presents on Hearth’s Warming Eve. I mean, ponies don’t, but I wanted to. You know me, I like to be different. In any case, I could never get Dinky all the best toys. If everypony else had the Carrot Patch Foal, I could only afford a regular doll. It was always like that.”

Karyn wanted to sympathize, but couldn’t find the words. She had always gotten the toys she’d asked for. Instead, she said, “Can I tell you a story?”

“Sure, go ahead.”

“When I was young, we spent one Christmas Eve at my grandparents’ house. My folks, me, some uncles and aunts, and a cousin of mine. That made me particularly nervous, because if I wasn’t in my usual spot, we might not have presents. I woke up even earlier than usual that Christmas, but I didn’t want to race to the tree.”

Derpy interrupted again. “That’s the second time you’ve mentioned a tree.”

“Oh, right. Well, for Christmas we cut down trees and put them in our houses.”

“You’re pulling my leg!”

“Honest. I’ll show you pictures. They even have some artificial trees for people who don’t like to clean up.” Karyn went on her computer and showed the pictures of trees with presents underneath.

“What they ought to do,” said Derpy, “is hang the tree upside-down from the ceiling. More room for the presents.”

“They make some like that too. Anyway, so back there at my grandmother’s, I’m so nervous that we won’t get our presents because we’re in an unfamiliar place, and I figure that it’s better to have the chance of getting them than confirming that we’re not. I just stayed in bed awake until my cousin got up. He had no silly fears, and went right into the living room.

“Of course the presents were there. In the most prominent position were two scooters.”

Derpy interrupted. “Like the kind Scootaloo rides?”

“Kind of. Not powered, you just move them with your foot. They become popular now and then. Anyway, one of them was blue and one of them was pink, but they weren’t wrapped and they didn’t have tags on them. My cousin—he was a boy, which I guess is important to the story—grabs the blue one and starts riding around the living room. Still that wasn’t enough for me. I patiently opened all the presents that did have my name on the tag, thanking the giver for each one in turn.

“Once everything had been opened, my mom came to me and said, ‘Don’t you want to ride your scooter? Your cousin loves his.’ And I, in all innocence, looked up at her and said, ‘Is that one for me too?!’”

Derpy laughed at the story, but Karyn could tell that her heart wasn’t in it. Probably a tale of gift excess wasn’t the right thing to tell her at that point.

“It’s a good story. I just wish I could have made Dinky’s Hearth’s Warming Eves as good as my father made mine.”

“You will. You know how?”

“Huh?” said Derpy.

“Because when she has a foal, she will be able to give her great Hearth’s Warming Eve’s, and that’s what she’s going to want to do also.”

“That will be nice. And I’ll get to be the grandmother that everypony loves. But that’s a ways away. We’ve got to do something for this Hearth’s Warming Eve.”

Karyn was glad that Derpy had cheered up again. “What did you have in mind?”

“I’ll think of something. But we’ll certainly have the right atmosphere.”

“Oh, why?”

Derpy smirked. “Word leaked through the pegasus grapevine. They’re going to have a big snowstorm so that we have a white Warming.”

Saturday

Derpy was out on her mail route when the first snowflakes started to fall. She started ascending for height when she heard someone calling her name. If Lyra hadn’t been such a prominent color, she might have been lost in the snow. Derpy landed.

“Hey, Lyra. Long time no see.”

“Yeah. I can’t stay long, I’ve got a lot to do.”

“And I want to get above the clouds,” said Derpy, hovering to shake off the snow.

“We’re having a Christmas party this Sunday. That’s a different kind of holiday, where—“

“Don’t worry. I know all about it.”

Lyra started off for shelter. “Right, right. So, yeah, be there!”

Since Karyn had told her all the wonderful things about Christmas, Derpy braved the weather and spent her shift looking at decorations that she thought would help. In the afternoon, she visited Karyn again.

“The decorations sound nice,” Karyn said, “but if this is a Christmas party and not just a Hearth’s Warming Eve, we should go and buy presents for all our friends.”

“Most of the ponies won’t know that though.”

“It doesn’t matter. We know it, and they all deserve presents from us. Come on, let’s make a list.”

Derpy grabbed pen and paper and started writing. “We’ve got to get something for Lyra, obviously, and her human as well.”

“How about a pair of gloves? We can give them to Lyra, and she can re-gift them to the human.”

“Good idea! Now, we also need something for Rainbow Dash, since she was so nice to us during the rain; Pinkie Pie, since she threw us parties; Rarity, because of the dresses she gave us.”

“Not Fluttershy though,” said Karyn, “I’m still a little miffed about her staring me into stupor.”

“We can’t get her anything?”

“Well, maybe something for Angel Bunny. Which reminds me, we have to get for Muffinhead of course. And for Dinky.”

“Well, we’ve got some names, now we just need presents to go with them. Oh, wait, we need to get Twilight Sparkle a present too for all the help she’s given us.”

Karyn and Derpy looked at each other. “A book,” they said at the same time.

They brainstormed ideas and wrote them down next to the ponies’ names. “OK,” said Karyn, “some of this stuff we can get in Equestria, and some I’ll have to go back to Earth for. The party’s tomorrow, let’s hustle.”

The snow in Ponyville was only a minor hindrance, and Karyn spent most of the time on Derpy’s back. On Earth, the shopping was only slowed by the usual practice of hiding Derpy’s presence with the invisibility spell and talking through the fake Bluetooth.

“Some of these ponies are a little difficult to buy for,” Karyn said, “because they don’t have some of the complementary things they need. I’d love to get Pinkie Pie a comedy DVD, but she doesn’t have any way to play it.”

“For next year, I’ll ask Lyra and Twilight to work on a DVD-to-magic-movie-player adapter.”

“I wouldn’t put it past them. I think I could arrange some Christmas music though. I can bring a battery-powered CD player. It doesn’t have to be that powerful. We only want it for background music.”

Derpy looked at the CDs. “Lyra should be taking care of that, I’d hope.”

“I know, but I’m a little particular when it comes to Christmas music.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, there are a lot of songs that go back a long time. Simple tunes with a lot of Christmas bells and familiar cadences.” Karyn caught the expression on Derpy’s face and tried to forestall an interruption. “No, not the princess. Anyway, then, maybe forty years ago a few new songs started being played. After that, they started trickling in more and more. A few are good, but the old ones are much better. That’s what we have to do.”

Derpy listened intently, then slipped some of the CDs into Karyn’s basket when her back was turned. By the time she got to the register, Derpy’s snickering tipped Karyn off. She bought the CDs anyway.

A few hours later, they were back in Equestria, in Derpy’s house, with all of the presents stacked in the kitchen. “You’ve got what we need to wrap all this?” Derpy asked.

“Paper, scissors, and tape. That’s pretty much it.”

“Where do we begin? Want to wrap Twilight’s book?”

“No,” said Karyn, opening the roll of wrapping paper. “Let’s get the hard stuff out of the way. Like Muffinhead’s little catnip toy.”

Perhaps because he heard his name, the orange cat came walking into the kitchen with his tail up.

“No!” said Derpy. “You saw it before Christmas! You’re not supposed to see! Shoo! Well, there goes one surprise.” She pushed the cat out of the room.

“I think he’ll still be happy when he gets it. In any case, we don’t have to go crazy wrapping this one. Just run the paper around it and tape it up as best you can. Now, for Lyra’s gloves, we’ve got to be more careful, and it’s annoying. We should have gotten a box for them. I know we had to improvise on this, but for future reference, always try to buy gifts that are square. Makes them easier to wrap.”

“Maybe I can practice on the box of candy we got for Pinkie.”

“Sure,” said Karyn, passing over the wrapping materials. Derpy unrolled the wrapping paper, only to have it roll back up. She tried again. “You know,” said Karyn, “They make flat wrapping paper, really nice stuff with dotted lines on the back so you can measure how much you need. Every year I say I’m going to buy it, but every year I spend too much on gifts and have to go with the cheap stuff.”

“Well, can you hold that end?”

Karyn held the ragged end of the paper while Derpy measured out enough for the candy. “Do you really think that Pinkie will want this? She works in a bakery after all.”

“It’s Pinkie Pie,” said Derpy. “She can’t get enough sugar-based food.”

“Good point. But even she wasn’t as hard to buy for as Rarity.”

Karyn expected Derpy to be awkward with the wrapping, but having six limbs, a prehensile tail, and a mouth that she could rip and place the tape with gave her an advantage. The box of candy looked as though it could have been professionally wrapped.

“I know, right? All the things she’s into, fashion and jewels and fancy ribbons, they’re all things she works with. But the perfume is something that I’ve never heard of anypony wearing. We already smell nice.”

“You do, but this will make you smell even better. Or at least different.” Karyn handed her the small box, and again Derpy’s dexterous moves made for a pretty package.

“This thing for Angel Bunny, I still don’t get how it works.”

“I’m not sure the pony at the carrot stand did either,” said Karyn, “but a gift certificate basically lets him get whatever he wants up to twenty bits. I’m sure he’ll remember it, since it’s the only one in all of Equestria.”

“It still seems like a way to get out of giving a real gift.”

“Maybe. Still, I’ve always said there needs to be a store called, ‘Cheap Gifts for Folks You Don’t Like Too Much.’”

Derpy laughed. “All right. Now, the gloves.”

“I’ll take care of them. I do have experience with awkwardly shaped gifts. If you’d use your wing to hold down the folds, I’d appreciate it.”

Working together, they even made Lyra’s package looked nice.

“Last one,” said Derpy. “And I’ll do this myself.”

“Are you sure? It’s in plastic, but it’s got a few awkward edges.”

“Oh, yes. This one is personal. I said I always wanted to get Dinky the best toy. You’re really saying this is a rare find on Earth?”

“Definitely,” said Karyn. “The Derpy Hooves figure is one of the top prizes for pony fans. And Dinky’s going to love it, since it will remind her how famous her mother is.”

Sunday

Derpy packed her saddlebags carefully to ensure that none of the presents got damaged. She was concerned that even the wrapping paper would be disturbed. She left them on the kitchen table as she warped to Earth to pick up Karyn.

“I still think you should have stayed over last night,” Derpy said.

“I’m still trying to keep most of my time on Earth consistent. A few hours isn’t so bad, but a whole night and I’d get inter-universe jet lag.”

They travelled back to Derpy’s house almost immediately, but as soon as they did there was a knocking at the door. They both went to see who it was.

“Hey, it’s Lyra!” said Derpy. “What’s going on?”

Lyra looked past Derpy. “Oh, Karyn, thank goodness you’re here. I was going to ask Derpy to go and get you. I really need help.”

“What’s wrong?” asked Karyn.

“I’ve tried to set up a Christmas party, so that my human will have fun and learn to love Christmas. But I must have done something wrong, because we had a big fight.” She gave the details of the angry words they had exchanged.

“So what do you want us to do?” said Derpy.

“Isn’t it obvious?” said Karyn. “We’re the only other people in Equestria who know about Christmas and what it takes to make a proper Christmas celebration. We’ve got to help Lyra out and, throw a good Christmas party so her human won’t be mad anymore.”

Lyra smiled and they all walked outside.

“Now, for the first thing,” said Derpy, “we need to cut down a tree and put it up inside the house.”

“Oh, Derpy, this is no time for your silliness. Karyn, can you please ask her to focus? Now, what do we really do?”

Karyn laughed. “No, Lyra, she’s telling the truth. You need to have a fir tree set up. You decorate it and put presents underneath.”

Karyn and Derpy continued to fill Lyra in on what was needed to celebrate Christmas the way humans did. She stared wide-eyed. “Well, if there’s this much to be done, no wonder my dear sweet human was overwhelmed. How will we ever get this set up?”

As she said that, Twilight Sparkle and her friends were walking into Derpy’s view. “I know,” said Derpy. “Where can we find anypony who knows how to organize something, or how to make pretty decorations, or how to have a nice atmosphere? We would need to know ponies who can tell us about hard work and getting things done fast. And even if, by some miracle, we managed to find that, we still wouldn’t have anypony who knew a thing about planning parties!”

Karyn and Lyra saw the six ponies, then looked at Derpy, proud of her for having found the help they needed.

But Derpy continued, and it was clear that she hadn’t been making a joke. “Ah, well, we’ll just have to do our best. Come on.”

Karyn facepalmed while Lyra facehoofed. “Lyra, you go grab the others, I’ll explain to Derpy what we’re going to do.”

The eight ponies and Karyn went back to Lyra’s house and planned out the set up.

“I’ll get this tree that’s so important,” said Rainbow Dash.

“Do we really have to cut one down?” said Fluttershy.

“We do, unless you want to get decorated.”

Rarity shook her head at the two pegasi and continued her work. Under Karyn’s direction, she was using powdered gems to make snowflakes that would stick to Lyra’s windows. Applejack and Pinkie Pie were huddled up in the kitchen planning out a menu.

“Pinkie, we can’t just make the whole meal a dessert,” Applejack said.

“Give me one good reason why not!”

Karyn came over to break them up. “It’s all right. Christmas cookies are as much of a tradition as the main dishes. Or maybe you could make a fruitcake! That’s Christmas tradition too, though no one seems to like them.”

Twilight was overseeing everything, but she took Karyn aside. “I do have one request for you. Not from me though. Spike asked if it’s all right to come.”

Karyn sighed. “Well, it is Christmas after all. Just one thing. Do ponies—and dragons—know about mistletoe?”

“The plant that grows on trees? Sure we do, but it doesn’t have many uses. It’s not safe to eat.”

“Yep, fine. Just so we’re good. No mistletoe in the place at all.”

Twilight was confused, but the issue seemed to be settled.

The torrent of activity subsided, and all the ponies gathered around in the living room. “Well,” said Lyra, “that’s just about everything.”

“Not quite,” said Derpy. “We’re still missing one guest.”

“I know,” said Lyra. “It’s just so difficult, when you’ve had a fight.”

Karyn went over to her. “I know. But Derpy and I have fights once in a while too. We’ve always made up. And we always will. All of us, the humans who love ponies and the ponies who love humans, we’re always afraid of losing the other. But we won’t. Friendship isn’t such a tenuous thing that it can be torn apart just because the friends are different species. That’s what the ponies learned on that Hearth’s Warming Eve so long ago. You can prove it to yourself right now by making up.”

Lyra nodded, and said thanks, and went up to her bedroom.

**

Derpy went over to Karyn. “Come on, let’s make one final check.”

“All right. I’m sure Lyra won’t be long though.”

“Maybe, but the other human makes me nervous. Even with what you said, I still feel more comfortable with just you.”

Everypony and Karyn busied themselves, but there was little else to do. It was a quiet moment of anticipation.

They came down the stairs, and after getting over the initial surprise, Lyra’s human approached Karyn.

“It’s nice to meet you. Happy Hearth’s Warming Eve.”

Karyn looked around at all they had done. Beyond the frosted glass and the Christmas tree, she saw the streets of Ponyville. “Merry Christmas,” she said.

PreviousChapters Next