123: Trick or Derp
Derpy peered out the window. “This is going to be so cool! Why have we never done this before?”
“Because this is the first year that Halloween’s been on a Sunday. I mean, since I met you.”
“I still think it’s weird that you not only have a different word for it, but that it’s such a weird one.”
Karyn smiled as she got a chance to show off knowledge of trivia. “It derives from ‘the evening of the hallow.’ They just cut out the v and the ing.”
“What’s a hallow?”
“Something sacred. In this case, it refers to spirits that have passed on.”
Derpy still didn’t like talking about death. “I still think Nightmare Night makes more sense. Even if it does refer to the whole day and not just the night.”
“You may have something. But I’m glad that you still decided to come today. You didn’t have anything going on?”
Her sly grin betrayed a naughtiness that Derpy seldom showed. “In fact I specifically realized that, if I’m here all day, then I don’t need to buy candy to give out.”
Karyn had a good laugh at that. “Well, at least you won’t be tempted to indulge and gain weight.”
“True.”
“When you’re not here, you don’t go out to parties or asking for candy?”
Derpy sighed. “I used to. When Dinky was little, every year, even if I had to pour all my efforts into making her costume instead of mine. You know I’m not very good at sewing, but if she says that she wants to go as a firemare, then I’ll make her a costume even if I poke my hooves with the needle a thousand times. Anyway, those were the old days. The hard part with that was letting her run with the other foals when I wanted to be with her. But it gave her a chance to make friends. As she got older, it was less about the candy and more about the ritual. Plus Princess Luna was back, and so everypony understood that it wasn’t really about keeping Nightmare Moon away. Still, right up to when she went to school we went out. But after that I felt it was my responsibility to stay home and give candy out, kind of paying it forward for all the years we ate for free.”
“Hrm. The way you say that makes me think I could still be going out instead of doing just that.”
“You’re going to give out candy?”
Karyn went to one of the kitchen cabinets and pulled out a large bag of miniature chocolate bars. “That’s the plan. I never had the chance at home. Mom and Dad were always very strict that they gave out the candy. Probably they expected me to swipe some instead of giving it all out. Or maybe they wanted to see all the little kids’ costumes when they came to the door. Anyway, I couldn’t do it at home, and obviously no one came around when I was living at the dorms. But now, here I am.”
“Yeah, and you couldn’t have avoided it by coming to Equestria.”
“Right, that would have been a double whammy. I would have had to give out to the ponies and then come back here without being able to sleep in but would have to give away more.”
Derpy eyed the bag of candy. Even though they had just had breakfast, Derpy’s hunger had not been assuaged yet. But she saw that each one was wrapped individually, so even if she could get one, there would be evidence.
“We should probably get the candy set up, right? Do you have a bowl or something to put them in?”
Karyn didn’t catch Derpy’s ulterior motive to get a piece. Instead she said, “No. This was another big pet peeve of mine. See, they sell in stores these little bags. They used to be paper, but now they’re plastic, makes them rip less. Anyway, they hold about three or four pieces of candy. Some people use them and some people don’t. Now, when I’m out trick-or-treating, I—“
“When you’re what?”
“Oh. That’s what we call going around for candy. What I was saying is that I never liked getting the little bag. I liked to keep track of how many of each type I got, and the bags just messed with my count. It was all the worse that my parents used the bags, and they made me help pack them each year.”
“Was that a whole lot of work?” asked Derpy.
“Not necessarily, but it’s tedious, and just didn’t seem to me to be valuable. No, when people come to my door I’ll just reach in the bag and pull out a handful. Even if someone gets one more piece than his sibling, no big deal.”
And with that, she tore a small hole in the bag and left it by the door.
“Maybe before then we can go outside and look at some of the costumes?”
“Sure, that sounds like fun—hey!” Karyn’s eyes brightened and she stood up.
“What is it?”
“You can go out today!”
Derpy nodded. “That’s what I was just asking.”
“No, I mean without going invisible. Everyone will just think that you’re a costume! I mean, if that doesn’t offend you.”
“Why would it? But, you mean it? People will be fooled?”
Karyn thought about it some more. “A horse costume is one of the classics on Earth. Usually two people wear it, one in the front and one in the back. With your size, people will think it’s two kids. Now, you can’t fly or do any magic out there. That would definitely give it away. Just act like an Earth pony.”
“But that’s what I’ll be! A pony on Earth. Let’s go. I’m keen to see what other humans think of me.”
“Sure thing.” Karyn got her coat and opened the door. “I still feel nervous, but I’m sure it’s all right.”
“What about you?”
“Hm?”
Derpy instinctively moved to the side of the door to stay out of view. “Aren’t you going to go out in costume as well? I mean, it might be weird if they see me, and they think I’m a costume, but they you’re just yourself. And even if I’m supposed to be a couple of kids, no one will buy you as my mom.”
“Don’t be too sure. There are some young mothers around. But I’d go in costume, except I didn’t buy one!”
Derpy just stared at her.
“Oh, right,” said Karyn. “Guess I kind of had a vapor lock.”
“Happens to me all the time. So pick something. You can have pretty much any costume you want.”
Karyn thought about it. She could indeed, but if she went for scary, she could actually scare some people. Even just becoming a changeling would throw people off with the fangs and the holes. She thought about a more sexy costume, but she was still nervous about showing off her body, even if it wasn’t really hers. “Oh, I’m no good at this! Too many choices!”
“That should be a good thing.”
“Sometimes it’s not. But I don’t really want a great costume, just one to go out with you. Next year I’ll plan ahead for exactly what I want. Do some research.”
Derpy now stuck her head out and was eager to get going. “So what about now?”
“Well, I’ll just wear something simple.” Karyn focused and changed into a vaguely Grecian toga. She also put her hair up. It was enough to look like she was wearing a costume without being too specific. A pair of gold shoes completed the look. No one had to know that they were actual gold, or rather the illusion of actual gold.
“I like it. OK, let’s go.”
“You know, come to think of it, this will be my best chance for research. I should look at all of the costumes that I see and then I can pick out one to use.”
They went out to the street. Karyn’s first instinct was to head toward the college, but then she decided that would be the least fertile hunting grounds. The students didn’t usually spend for candy. No, better to meander around the residential area and hope.
It was still early, but she knew that a lot of parents didn’t like taking their children trick-or-treating in the dark.
Derpy, meanwhile, was nervous. Technically, this was against the rules. The spirit of the rule was to not get caught, but the letter was to only go out when invisible. They came upon the first humans out and about, and they weren’t even in costume, just a family out for a walk to see the falling leaves. They looked at Derpy and laughed, but then continued on without paying too much attention.
“I think it works!” she said.
“See, I told you.”
Eventually they found other trick-or-treaters, and then the looks from the children got longer. Derpy waved to anyone who looked at her and smiled. Karyn kept her pace slow, so they never really caught up with anyone for conversation, but they shared a moment, and Derpy was happy about that.
“Can I go to some houses and get candy?”
“I don’t see why not. You can keep it in your saddlebag.”
“Yeah, convenient.” She trotted up to a house where she saw a group of kids had just left and knocked. An elderly lady complimented her costume and gave her a few pieces of the same type of candy Karyn had shown her before.
“Having fun?”
“This is the best. I’m going to take a personal day next year when Nightmare Night is on a weekday and come back here to do this. I’m going to make this an annual tradition.”
Karyn watched her as she fairly galloped to the next house. “Take it easy. Not too fast of a run. Little kids can go fast but still not as fast as you can gallop. And try to keep your wings to your sides. Even the fact that they open and close looks suspicious. But anyway, yeah. I’d like to see you do that. Hopefully I can find a job that will give me personal time so I can take it with you.”
After a block or so of trick-or-treating, Derpy got bored, and so they went back to looking at the costumes. “It’s funny,” said Derpy.
“Yes?”
“See, in Equestria everypony gets together and goes around for candy in big groups. I figured that humans would go around alone more.”
“A lot of parents want their kids in groups for safety. And sometimes people—more adults than kids—will theme their costumes. I remember one year my folks and a bunch of people from my mom’s job all dressed as...well, you wouldn’t know them, but all the characters from a TV show.” Karyn remembered that there was a picture of them in her home, and made a note to show Derpy some time.
“I think I’ve got enough candy. We should get back to your place so we can start giving out.”
“Probably a good idea. It looks like most of the groups are moving in the direction of home anyway. The ones who went the other way probably have been to ours and missed us. We can go back and hang out and watch movies, and then we’ll have lots of interruptions to give out candy.”
They darted back towards Karyn’s apartment, with Karyn still having to remind Derpy not to go too fast. “I’ll try my slowest walk.”
“It still looks like a rhythmic pony gait. If you were two people, your hooves wouldn’t be in sync so much.”
“OK, I’ll walk more like a giraffe. It’s not easy.” Derpy tried moving both left hooves at the same time, then both right hooves, but on the second step she lost her balance and careened into Karyn.
“Never mind. Just walk normally.”
Derpy did so, and no one looked at them for more than a glance. Even the glances were more likely to be followed by a smile than suspicion. Soon they made it home and climbed the step. Karyn stopped and looked at Gayle’s front door. “Hm.”
“What’s wrong?” asked Derpy.
“Well, the main door is much more prominent than mine. If you were a group trick-or-treating, you’d probably go up to this one and get your candy, then go on your way. You wouldn’t even notice my apartment.”
“Maybe you can ask Gayle if she can send everyone around to the side. I know I’d be happy if I went to go get candy and I got double for it.”
“Good idea.” Karyn went up and knocked on the door. “If she heard that she probably thinks we’re here for candy.” But after a minute or so there was still no response. “This could be a problem. If she’s not home maybe I can make a sign or an arrow or something.”
“Or we could just sit out here with the candy. It’s not too cold.”
“Maybe not for you. I’d prefer not.”
At last they heard footsteps echoing through the big house, and the door opened to reveal Gayle. She had shed her usual laid-back artist’s look for a black witch costume. “Sorry, I’m just going out and—oh, Karyn, Derpy!”
“Hey, Gayle,” said Karyn. “I guess I should get the rent for you, but I also wanted to ask a favor.”
“Don’t bother, it’s not due till tomorrow. What’s up? Wait, Derpy, you shouldn’t be out in view. Oh, I see, you’re playing at it’s a costume. Speaking of which, do you like mine?”
Derpy traced her way through this stream of consciousness. “It’s very nice. You make a lovely witch. Or sorceress or enchantress.”
They all had a good laugh at Gayle’s old term for Karyn, then Karyn gave her request.”Oh, but if you’re going out I guess you won’t be here to give out candy to begin with.”
“No, but if you want to hang out here I won’t mind?”
“You’re sure?”
Gayle looked back into the house as if to make sure she hadn’t left anything incriminating in plain sight. “Yeah, just don’t mess it up too much. I know you won’t.”
“Certainly not. I’ll just bring the laptop over and we’ll watch movies.”
“Great, just give me a few minutes and then come over. Happy Halloween! Wait, do ponies even celebrate that?”
Another explanation followed, and then Derpy and Karyn retreated to her apartment to pack up. “We’ll bring snacks and stuff too, so we don’t have to eat all the candy.”
“Cool,” said Derpy. “At least in here I can fly.”
“Yeah, and once we get into Gayle’s place you’ll have the high ceiling. Hey! I just got a costume idea!”
“You did? Great, what is it?”
Karyn opened her mouth, but then shook her head. “Maybe just the start of an idea. See, everyone’s been seeing you as a pony, but you also have wings, so you can be Pegasus!”
“I am a pegasus.”
“No, the Pegasus. It’s a legend among humans of a flying horse. People would imagine how great it would be to have a horse who could fly. Although he was a stallion in the legend. But if I wear something that’s also from Greek mythology, we’ll have a kind of theme between us.”
Derpy didn’t understand, but she liked the idea of theming. “What other creatures did they have?”
“I can’t remember off the top of my head. I’ll search on the internet.”
She went to an online encyclopedia and went for the general category. “That looks scary,” said Derpy, pointing over her shoulder.
“A harpy? That would be too ugly. Hang on, that’s it. She’s supposed to be ugly too but I don’t have to do it that way.” She concentrated and changed again. Keeping the general look of the toga, she changed her hairstyle and augmented her body slightly.
“What are you?”
“A medusa, or technically a gorgon, of which Medusa was a proper name. I suppose I could have made the snakes in my hair be real ones, but that’s scary and I don’t like snakes myself, even if they’re a part of me.”
They heard a car door close and the engine start, so concluded that Gayle had left. Grabbing the candy and the laptop, they walked around to see the first group of kids heading up the stairs.
“Cool costume!” one of the youngsters said.
“Thanks. Here’s some candy.” Karyn passed it out to all of them.
“I meant her! Cool horse costume. It looks so real!”
“Thanks,” said Derpy.
Karyn rolled her eyes as they went inside.
More people came in increasing frequency. Karyn remarked to Derpy, “It’s like microwaving popcorn. You get a few at first, then a din of so many that you can barely tell one from another, and then you think it ends and that there’s no more when you get a final knock on the door. “
“Popcorn knocks on the door?”
“No, sorry. I lost control of my metaphor.”
Another group came to the door and they answered it. Soon enough they had a good routine down. Derpy would say hi and accept the compliments of the trick-or-treaters, while Karyn would handle the actual giveaway of candy. The door was wide enough that she could move from bag to bag and bucket to bucket without having the children cycle through. She liked this and made a silent vow that, if she ever had a house of her own, she wanted a large vestibule and oversized doors like this.
Most of the children understood that Karyn was in costume, but they barely looked at her when Derpy was there. A few of the adults understood and complimented her for the theme. Some of the youngest ones wanted to pet Derpy.
After the wave started to ebb, Derpy asked in the middle of another video, “Is there an age limit to trick-or-treating here?”
“Not officially. It depends on when your parents stop letting you or such. I know a lot of teenagers still do it. No adults, really. Except you, and I don’t think that counts.”
Another knock came at the door, and as if to underscore the point, Karyn could see that it was an older group. She hesitated. “Problem?” asked Derpy.
“No, but if they try to egg the house or play a prank I’m going to turn into something nasty and scare them off.”
She opened the door to hear, “Trick or trea—whoa! Hey, it’s Derpy Hooves!”
Karyn panicked for a moment, then remembered that Derpy was not entirely unknown on Earth. But she kept herself on high alert hoping that they wouldn’t pry too much. “You like her costume?” she asked.
“Yeah, it’s great! I haven’t met any other bronies out tonight.” The speaker was a young man who had clearly had this discussion with his companions, who rolled their eyes at the idea that someone else would use ponies for a costume. He himself wore a simple horn and wings, enough to look like a costume to someone who didn’t know, and like an alicorn to someone who did.
They talked ponies for a few minutes before his friends dragged him off, and Derpy shut the door again. “That was fun. I got to play like I was being myself instead of actually being myself.”
“You did a good job, making him think you weren’t real while still making him happy.”
“Good enough for a piece of candy?”
“Sure,” said Karyn with a laugh, and found another chocolate for Derpy.
“You know, Earth candy is much different from Equestrian.”
“I bet it’s tastier.”
Derpy stared down at the wrapper. “I didn’t even think about that. What I mean more is, you don’t have names of candy bars like you do here, or shiny wrappers. They’ll just wrap the candy in cellophane or something, and it’s usually like a gumball or a peppermint candy or such. They don’t have nuts and caramel and chocolate as much. Not in candies anyway.”
“Simpler, homey candies. Fits in.”
“Yeah, but I like the Earth candies better I think. You always know what you’re getting unlike the hoof-made ones.”
Karyn looked at the candy. “I was thinking that it might be just because it’s unfamiliar, but I might agree with you on this one. I mean, we have that kind of candy too, but it’s less popular on Halloween. I guess I always associate it with going over to visit old people where they have that candy because it’s what they knew as kids. Back when candy was sold in specific candy stores and cost a penny.”
“And there’s one other thing I really like.”
“What’s that?”
Derpy hopped up and let her voice echo through the cavernous room. “The holiday here is all modernized. You don’t give away your candy to Nightmare Moon. You give it to the kids and they eat it. There’s nothing really too scary about it. I know that lots of ponies enjoy that part of the holiday, being scared for fun. But I never did. Being scared isn’t fun for me. It’s, well, scary. And that’s one more way that I feel I don’t fit in.”
“Well, don’t. Halloween can be something for everyone. Yes, we don’t have Nightmare Moon here, but that also takes the edge off it. I bet lots of people wish it would be more like Equestria. So everyone has their own thing they want to do. It’s as unique as their costumes.”
“That’s why I’m glad that my best costume is myself.”
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Yes derpy not that scary.... Say! Let's watch saw!
Yaay for Derpy Haloween, ignore the person behind the curtains.
Lots of Earth chocolate isnt that difficult to make, its still the same pour, fill, mould and cement mixer used when doing them in smaller amounts at home.
We were half expecting you to flip out Ditzy for a second. That would have been.... awkward.
Personally I doubt anyone having a direct conversation could ever mistake her for a costume, but there have been some creepy realistic ones we've seen around....
Keep going! ;)
As someone who works in retail, I hope Derpy doesn't look too harshly at Earth for turning Christmas, and Thanksgiving by means of Black Friday, into such a commercialized powerhouse. The actual event itself almost forgotten in favor of the almighty dollar and that unsaid compulsion to buy gifts for everyone or you're a very bad person, not to mention the expectation of gifts.
And the bunch of bronies they floored with Derpy's "amazingly realistic" costume, will that come back to haunt them? I can see word of that encounter spreading like crazy in the fandom, especially if someone in the back took a sneaky flashless photo to go along with the facebook post.
Karyn might want to keep an eye on EqD about halloween costumes. That same group might start digging around and find out too much info about that not-a-pony who's really was a pony.