108: Derping Your Stripes
Karyn had never, before she met Derpy, had the occasion to deal with paper in scroll form. She was used to professionally manufactured sheets of loose-leaf, college ruled, three-hole punched, and, if she felt like spending the extra money, perforated. So it was that she had trouble with the list of ponies who wanted to come to Earth as it rolled and flipped over on her. It didn’t help that some enchantment prevented the paper from being creased or folded. It reminded her of the difficulties she had wrapping presents at Christmas.
“Here, let me help you with that,” said Derpy. She handled it roughly but was able to roll it into a slightly more compact form.
“Thanks. But I didn’t get to check on which pony we were having visit us this week.”
“That’s all right. I checked, and she should be around bright and early. How about lining up a human guest for her to meet?”
Karyn pulled out another paper that was more in line with what she was used to. “That’s been more difficult. I don’t know enough people. Derpy, how do you know more ponies than I do if you complain about having few friends?”
“I know them, but I might not be that close with them. I don’t know how many that I could count on to go out and do fun stuff with them like you.”
“That’s a good point. It would be nicer to have a few really good friends that you can count on to do anything for you than to have a lot of casual acquaintances.”
“Hey, what if you advertised?!” Derpy brightened up.
“Advertise for friends? I could do that online, but that’s just how you get the kind of friend that isn’t really close.”
“No, I mean advertise for people who want to hang out with a pony! Just the way we found you all the way back then.”
Karyn remembered filling out the survey on some obscure brony-related site that no longer existed. “I don’t know about that. Maybe Lyra could coordinate something like that again, but I’d just feel weird about it. Anyway, let’s deal with the guest we do have. Ready?”
“Yep!” Derpy knelt down for Karyn to mount up and, with a flourish, used her spell as she took off.
Karyn got into the flow-state mood of the flight as Derpy glided toward her house. On that day, she noticed, they would not have to go out for their guest, as she was easily spotted from the air.
“Aha!” Derpy said. “This is a guest for whom I have long waited. In fact, I’ve been waiting with breath that is…heavy from anticipation.”
Karyn had another flashback to the early times with Derpy as they landed and waved to Zecora. While the zebra spoke in rhymes, Derpy caught a residual effect of her magic that made her try and fail each time. Karyn was embarrassed as she would always conclude that Zecora would be insulted.
“Hello, Zecora,” she said.
“And greetings to you, Karyn of Earth. Of our meetings there has been too much of a dearth.”
“I’ve missed you too. Speaking of Earth, are you ready to come back with us?”
“I am, and I think that I know of your spell. Let us go up to the tower of the bell.”
Derpy passed over the spare saddlebag. “Good, you know about having to go to the tower. Our last guest didn’t: Trixie, who is Great and has…a lot of magic ability.”
Karyn shook her head as they ascended. Zecora was, at least, more familiar with unusual types of magic, and took the transition between universes in stride.
Once in the apartment, they relaxed as Zecora looked around. “I know it’s not as impressive as Equestrian homes,” said Karyn, “but you’ve got to remember that I’m young and not self-supporting yet.”
“I would never criticize your home or its decor. I was only thinking it needs a bit more. Perhaps when I return I will give you something from my hut. It should help improve the look a lot.”
“Ooh, thank you,” said Derpy. “Karyn would appreciate a present. I’m sure it’ll be something to make the room…pleasing.”
“Thank you very much,” said Karyn, then leaned in close to Zecora. She knew she had no hope of escaping Derpy’s hearing, but she had to try anyway. “What I’d really like, if you could pull it off, is a way to stop that.”
“Personally I find it an amusing quirk. But let me see what magic I can work.”
Derpy was confused, but she had learned how to keep her head in those situations and latch on to the words she did understand. “You’re going to do some zebra magic? Cool! But you didn’t bring any ingredients, or any potion-making…implement.”
Not realizing that she was the target, Derpy watched as Zecora removed phials and herbs from different pouches secreted around her and mixed them on Karyn’s desk. Pouring them into a larger vessel, she shook the whole mixture until steam came out.
“Inhale the vapors, but to take care, not to let them get by your wings or your hair.”
She extended the flask to Derpy, who took them in. “So, what happens now?” she asked.
“I believe it has worked, though you may not see how. But Karyn will be much happier now.”
Derpy didn’t quite understand, but she heard the part about making Karyn happy, and that was enough for her.
“So,” she said, her speech pattern returned to normal, “what would you like to do during your time on Earth? Everypony has seemed to want something different, and maybe you want us to be your guides and pick something. Ooh, Karyn, maybe we could find a forest around here to see how it compares to Zecora’s home in the Everfree.”
“We’d be hard-pressed to find one close,” said Karyn.
“There are plenty on the way to your parents’ house.”
This was true, but Karyn hadn’t considered those as woods. “I don’t think we’d be allowed in there, and even if we did go that’s actual wilderness. I mean, we don’t have timberwolves that can combine into giants and attack you, but we do have ticks that can give you nasty diseases. Or at least give them to me.”
Zecora gave a little cough. “If I could ask you both to attend to me, it is not your wild I wish to see. As you know, arcane magic is my forte, and so I do wonder just in what way that you make up for your species’ magical lack. In short, please, Miss Karyn, do show me your tech.”
“Oh. All right. I wasn’t expecting that, but we’ll see what we can do. I mean, I can’t explain a lot of the mechanical or electronic things we have, because in this day and age, that’s not what’s new. But I can certainly tell you about computers, and Derpy can help. She built one herself.”
“I cheated and used magic.”
“It all worked out in the end.” Karyn sat down at her computer. “I don’t really know if you’ll be pleased with all this. It’s very much against the whole ‘spirit of nature’ thing you’ve got going on.”
“In what way, would you say?”
“Well, it’s all about electrons and plastic and metal instead of wood and herbs and, I don’t know, what else is in the woods? Dirt?”
Zecora smiled. “Just because I live a hermit’s life, it does not mean I wish to cause strife. In Equestria ponies live as they choose, but if I were to judge them, then both sides would lose. So too, here, I do not want to look down my muzzle. I just want information, a piece of the puzzle.”
“All right. Let’s see what we can do. Derpy?”
They went to the computer, and Karyn turned it on. Derpy explained briefly about how the electricity provided power. Then it was Karyn’s turn.
“The power goes first to a very small computer that has one function. When the electricity hits it, it starts a slightly more complex computer called the BIOS. That one has a few utility functions, but its main job is to start up all the rest of the computer and get it all running. The whole process was compared to a fanciful idea someone had a long time ago about a person lifting themselves in the air by pulling on their bootstraps, so it got called a bootstrap loader or just booting for short.”
Derpy knew by conclusion that Zecora must have gained her wisdom by long experience. But still, it was the first time she had seen her in the role of student as opposed to teacher. She was impressed all the more with Karyn’s instruction.
“There are some thing in nature that work in this kind. But it is the first time I’ve seen it purposefully designed. Yet still I desire to know more of this work. And so I would leave you show me an expert.”
“We can’t show you anyone if you leave,” said Derpy with her head cocked to the side.
Karyn laughed. “It’s an old-fashioned expression to mean that she wants us to.”
“Ah. Then I would leave that we would just say that.”
“In any case, I don’t know who we could get to explain technology to you better than I could. I mean, I’m not perfect, but I think I’m good for explaining things to ponies.”
“Hey, Karyn. Remember that guy, Jim? He might be exactly who Zecora’s looking for!”
Karyn had to stare at Derpy for a few moments before her memory came back, her ability to flash back strained for the day. But as Derpy opened her mouth to explain further, the memory of the one-day internship she had served, and how Derpy had helped solve a technical issue, came flooding back.
“That is good thinking, but I don’t know how to get in touch with him. We never exchanged contact information afterwards.”
“Oh.” Derpy flopped back down on the bed with a frown.
“But, since we don’t want to be cooped up here anyway, we can take a walk down to where he works and ring the bell. It’ll be a little awkward if he’s there, but that’ll be my problem.”
“How about it, Zecora? Take a trip downtown and meet this guy who runs a whole building of this stuff?”
Karyn started to say that he wasn’t that important, but Zecora spoke first. “I don’t think that Karyn wants me so impressed. But to your proposal I will say yes.”
Once again Zecora was quick with the invisibility spell, and they headed out to the main section of town. Even this the zebra took in stride, as Derpy asked her if she wasn’t wowed by all the tall buildings.
“I admit that these dwellings are more impressive than mine. But to be fair to me, they have had more time.”
They reached the bank building where Karyn had been once and seen the inner workings. All the windows were dark, but even as Derpy pressed her face to the glass, she confirmed that only the minimum of lights were on.
“Well, here goes nothing.” Karyn walked up to the front door and pressed the button that doubled as a doorbell and intercom. The seconds dragged on, but no response came. “I guess that’s it. Sorry, Zecora, but—“
“I distinctly detect a presence inside. Perhaps he has simply chosen to hide.”
“If he has, that’s that. This thing is more secure than Canterlot Castle.”
Zecora trotted up to the vestibule that housed the ATMs. Derpy followed. “This part you can actually get into if you have the card key to let you. Humans use these to get their money out, and they can do it all the time, even late at night and on Sunday.”
“My card isn’t for this bank, but it should still work. That’s not going to get us inside, though.”
“Nonetheless please let me pass. I desire to see what’s beyond the glass.”
Feeling the stare of the security cameras, Karyn swiped her ATM card and entered. “There might be trouble if I don’t actually make a transaction here. Maybe I’ll just do a balance inquiry to be safe. Of course, since Derpy’s made me budget, I already know it.”
Before she could move again, Zecora moved to the next door and blew some gold powder or dust. The door slid open and Karyn covered her ears for the alarm, but none came forth. Zecora laughed. “Curious as I am about what you do, I’m still sure it responds to a trick or two.”
The cameras on the walls gave a whirring sound, and the red lights faded to black. Karyn still expected some form of security, and it came when the elevator dinged and the technician, Jim, stepped out. His eyes were immediately drawn to the open door, then recognition crept across his face.
“Hey…Rachel, right?”
“Karyn.”
“I got the ‘a’ right. What are you doing here? Oh, the ATMs. Well, if the security system’s down, I don’t know if they’re working. Hey, I thought the door was physically locked. How’d you get in?”
“I just pushed on it.” Karyn technically wasn’t lying.
“Well, take a seat while I reboot things. You were lucky for me last time in how fast things got fixed. Course, I’d prefer someone lucky in that things didn’t break.”
“Actually, before you reboot, I’d like to show you something. Can we get out of view of the street?”
Of all the people that Karyn had introduced to ponies, Jim was the first one to react with the sort of fear and anxiety that she expected. He backed up rapidly and reached for his phone. Karyn had to soothe him down before he could get his call to the authorities out.
“It’s all right,” said Derpy. “We’re just here to watch and have fun and help and be friends.”
His eyes darted from one face to the other to the other. “It’s not possible…”
Karyn, figuring that a human face would be the one he’d listen to, said, “It’s magical. So, from one perspective, yeah, it’s impossible. But it’s real, so, yeah.”
Zecora approached him slowly and extended a hoof. “There is no cause for alarm. Derpy and I mean no harm. In your world we are just tourists. I asked Karyn to show me…” She waved the hoof around. “…all of this.”
There followed a reaction that Karyn was starting to recognize. In the midst of a shock to the worldview, a smaller disruption often brought a person back to their senses. “Why are you speaking in rhyme?” Jim asked.
“That’s what she does,” said Karyn with a smile. “It might not make complete sense, but again, magic.”
“Magic?”
“Yes. The same magic that lets Derpy fly.” She gestured, but Derpy didn’t pick it up. “Derpy, fly a little, please.”
“Oh.” She took off and held in hover, but not being Rainbow Dash, she didn’t keep it up too long.
“Now I’m intrigued. Come on up to headquarters.”
When he’d turned around, Karyn rolled her eyes at “headquarters.” They all filled a cramped elevator, but the ride wasn’t too long.
“Is there any way that you can restore the security? I mean, you’re all right, but if anybody else comes by…”
Zecora removed more of the gold dust from somewhere, looked around, and blew it into the ventilation system. A second later, a large monitor flickered and blinked into a sixteen-way split of cameras.
“That’s better, isn’t it?” asked Karyn.
Jim looked at the pictures for a long minute. Then he looked at Zecora and she at him. “So, this magic of yours…what else can it do?”
She grinned. “My magic serves many a need. But it should not be used for selfish greed.”
He reacted as if he had been caught in the bank’s vault. “I wasn’t thinking of that. Not strictly anyway. But it seems to me that if you can so easily bypass our security, you could also strengthen it.”
Zecora seemed to be pleased at this notion, but then he followed it up with. “Which is still selfish and greedy, since it would let me lounge about at work while the magic kept everything running and secure.”
Zecora laughed. “But if everything was running secure, what would your employers need you for?”
“That’s how it is in IT, unfortunately. If things break, they wonder why they’re paying me. If things don’t break, they wonder why they’re paying me.”
Now it was Derpy’s turn to chuckle, as she tossed the paradox around in her mind. Jim and Zecora got together and huddled over a screen. After his initial reaction, he seemed to get along with her and found a kindred spirit in that both had long experience in an arcane art.
As they did, Derpy and Karyn got together in a cubicle farther away and observed. “Do you really think that Zecora will show him any magic techniques?” asked Karyn.
“Maybe. But she’s hard to predict. There might just be some method she uses that isn’t mystical but that no one on Earth thought of.”
“Could be. I think it’s funny, though, how everyone reacts different to magic. Sarah really wanted some for herself just to be special, Gayle was happy just knowing that the ponies had it, and here Jim seems to think about its utility.”
Derpy looked over. Jim and Zecora could have been two co-workers discussing a problem, neither noticing the difference in the other’s species. “Which do you think is right?”
“I don’t think any of them are. Rather, I think that what happens is that magic—or anything new and unfamiliar to people—brings out their character. It tells you who they really are.”
“That sounds profound.”
“Maybe not, but the other thing is this. I’m still worried about what would happen if Equestrian magic got out into the human world on a grand scale. And that’s because everyone is different and reacts differently. When people are in groups, that’s when they become predictable…and when people become predictable, they can be manipulated.”
Karyn gave a forlorn sigh, as if all the ills of humanity could be breathed out of her lungs. Derpy hovered behind and put her hooves on Karyn’s shoulders. “Well, at least one Equestrian and one human are working together.”
Jim broke off from Zecora for a moment. “Hey, Katherine—“
“Karyn.”
“Right, sorry. Listen, Zecora here is really smart. She’s showing me ways to do things that I never dreamed of.”
Derpy pursed her lips. “Ooh. Is she picking up IT or teaching you magic?”
“Both. Or neither. It’s hard to explain, it’s like magic but without any actual spells or things. It’s more natural, giving me information about the environment and how it affects the machines. I mean, every tech knows that you want to keep servers in stable, cool atmosphere, but apparently there are ways to set it up that are even better. If anything, it’s like Feng Shui, which normally I would have said is pseudoscience, but if there’s real magic, then it makes sense.”
“Great,” said Karyn. “Hopefully she can teach me some of that too.”
“Maybe she won’t have to. Are you going to be looking for a job soon?”
Her ears perked up almost as much as Derpy’s. “Well, I’ve got one more year of college, and that’s assuming I can get all the classes I need.”
“Well, keep in touch. If I can’t get you in here, I’ll see what I can do for you.”
Derpy was elated. “That’s great! Thanks, Jim.”
“Uh, I was talking to Karyn.”
“I know, but I’m happy for her.”
Karyn herself, however, didn’t show her elation. “I’m grateful, but are you just doing this because I introduced you to Zecora?”
“I’m sure you’re good at what you do, but so are a thousand other people. None of them know zebra shamans.”
Still she scowled, so Jim continued. “But the ones who succeed do know people. Networking isn’t just wiring servers and routers together. Believe me, it’s not how I want it to be either, but the fact is that knowing people is important in your career, even if they’re not the people you suspect are important.”
“All right. Maybe I’ve learned something too then.”
Zecora and Jim went back to poring over the minute details of the system while Derpy and Karyn relaxed and visited one another. When it was time to go, Karyn got Jim’s contact on a social networking site for IT professionals and promised to contact him when she had graduated. Heading back to the apartment, she said good-bye to the two of them.
“Thank you, Karyn for a wonderful excursion,” said Zecora. “And seeing your world’s technological version.”
Derpy strapped on her saddlebag. “I second that. This was an accomplished mission! And it’s so cool that Jim might get you a…job.”
“Oh, no. The spell’s wearing off. Zecora, Derpy, better get back to Equestria before it goes completely.”
Stats
Page generated in 0.035 seconds
Total duration
996 users online
6,202 hits today, 2,314,256 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
thanks for the update!!
Oh my, a whole chapter with Zecora. You know your an amazing writer when you can pull that off... And perfect it!
I loved this chapter, your story keeps me reading. But it's 2AM now and I must be sleeping.
See? Everyone assumed that just because Zecora lives in a forest that she'd only be interested in nature stuff, but here we have demonstrated it's not quite like that at all!
Keep going! ;)
So...when is Chrysalis coming to visit?
I tried writing for zecora once...never again, it's harder than it looks to always write in rhymes. I liked the chapter a lot though, it was interesting and I'm still wondering if you'll ever truly run out of derpy puns
Zecora knows an awful lot about natural stuff,a nd now has been playing in the depths of a human server farm?
Is it me, that all she needs now is a whole load of gems from Rarity, and a big pile of leftover experimental laboratory equipment from Twilight, and she could end up building a reality bridging Chaos Engine? Hex even?
4604310 that's actually a really cool way to give yourself incentive, nice!
Okay... So... Here's a thing... I have a pet peeve about the word "nature", and how it's defined. I think that I may have a somewhat unique belief that there is no such think as "unnatural", because there is nothing that exists that is not part of nature. Even if someone were to somehow break the laws of physics, or rewrite them, I would still call that natural, because all that exists is natural by definition, to me, and nothing that is unnatural can exist, because if it did, it would be natural. Do you follow me?
I've come to find that there are not many people that actually understand ... the shape of evolution, or to put it in a way that I'm less comfortable with; the way that evolution works. Some people treat it like a magical force that can cause mutations in creatures when they're put into unusual conditions, or absurd things like that. I think that evolution is just a mis-labeled effect of multiple laws of physics overlapping to promote matter to follow a specific category of behavior, to create what we call "life" and to keep at it, because if life dies off, it stops, and has to rely on similar conditions to what gave it it's start, to start again. Life dare not give up trying to live. (That reads as really corny, but oh well. This is a really difficult concept to put into words.)
If you want further clarification, feel free to ask, and I'll get around to trying eventually.