97: Private Aderpment
Outside Derpy’s house in Ponyville, Karyn, just having arrived, brushed the dust off her clothes and stretched out in the morning sun. “Are we ready for our guest this week?” she asked.
“We are, though I don’t wonder if she’ll be a little late,” said Derpy.
“Here she comes now…no, wait, that’s Twilight again.”
Indeed Twilight Sparkle was coming up the walk. Derpy couldn’t tell if she was heading toward them, so she waved a hoof. Twilight didn’t seem to alter her course as she approached.
“Good morning,” she said.
“And to you,” said Karyn. “How did the rest of your visit with Cal go?”
“Swimmingly. I explained to him that we’re not fully publicizing the existence of ponies just yet, but that he was expected to keep it secret and, in exchange, we might arrange for him to visit Equestria.”
“I’ll bet he liked that. I should find him on campus and see if I can’t start up a club of bronies who have met an actual pony.”
Derpy pawed at the ground. Twilight noticed. “Is anything wrong?”
“I can’t tell. I just have that feeling like we’ve forgotten something with this whole visiting program. Oh, well, it’ll come to me eventually, right?”
Karyn and Twilight looked at each other. It was quite possible that something she was trying to remember wouldn’t come to Derpy, but they let it pass.
“So do you two have any special plans for today?” Twilight asked.
“In a manner of speaking,” said Karyn. “I have invited another person—well, maybe invited isn’t the right word. The point is that there’s going to be someone else, and this time I don’t think they know about ponies at all.”
“Well, good luck with that. I’ll be waiting to hear all about it.”
Derpy skittered as if she’d forgot something. “Am I supposed to be reporting on all these visits?”
“No.” Twilight laughed. “Whoever goes with you will do that.”
“Oh, that’s much better. That way they only have to do one each instead of me doing them all.”
Twilight exited, and Karyn checked the time on her phone. “She really is going to be late.”
“I hope not too much.”
“I know that we technically have all the time in the world, but I’m not feeling patient today. Plus my phone keeps having to find the time signal and resetting itself.”
Derpy nodded and kept her eyes on the horizon. “Here she comes.”
“Are you sure this time?”
“Definitely. I can see the horn.”
Karyn tried to look herself, but even with her condition Derpy’s eyesight was better than hers. “A horn could mean any unicorn. It could even be Twilight again.”
“Twilight wouldn’t be wearing a lace scarf. Hey, Rarity!”
Karyn found the list and checked Rarity’s name off it. Then she turned to greet her with a smile.
“Good morning, ladies!” Rarity said as she came close enough to avoid shouting. “I’m all dressed up and ready to go.”
Derpy winced again. “You do know that you have to be invisible there, right?”
Rarity cast her eyes down, but Karyn stepped in. “Actually, with what I’ve arranged for this week, you won’t have to. You can’t leave my apartment, but I invited someone to come over, and after I lay the groundwork and introduce you, it’ll be just like a get-together here in Equestria.”
“Excellent. Let us proceed.”
Derpy led them to the clock tower and let Rarity climb to the top. Karyn remembered Applejack’s admonishment that they should lay down a carpet over the dirt should Rarity be the guest, but she hadn’t done that and had no intention of racing back to fix things. Rarity walked on the grass in Equestria, and she could scrape off any dirt she gathered on the grass of Earth.
They activated their spells, Rarity finding it quaint and laughable to have to use a separate form of magic, and popped back into existence in the back yard of Gayle’s house. Moving them swiftly into the apartment, Karyn was able to avoid any concerns about the condition of Rarity’s hooves.
Once inside, she led them to the bedroom. Rarity barely had time to turn her head both ways and get a general impression of the architecture before entering the dark room and having to deal only with the filtered light through Karyn’s curtains and the heavily shaded light from her lamp.
“What’s going on?” asked Derpy.
“We were longer than I thought in Equestria. Or rather, getting to Equestria, since time didn’t pass here. But in any case, my guest was supposed to arrive at nine, and it’s five till now. So I want to be able to show you two in the right timing and not with her just walking in.”
“Five minutes is enough time to get in.”
“Yes, but what if she’s a little early?”
“I beg pardon,” said Rarity. “But I was under the impression that I was the guest for today. And in fact, I have arrived.”
“No, I have another guest, a different human. Twilight’s encouraged it. And in this case, it’s something good for all of us. See, Derpy could tell you, a few weeks ago I found a gift card—that’s like finding money—and I’ve been using it to help on all these tours. Well, yesterday I spent the last of it on something I think you’ll like: a hairdresser from the salon is coming here for what she thinks is a private appointment.”
As if cued by her mentioning it, there was a knock at the door. Karyn realized that it was not her door, but the front door, and she raced to the front to get there before Gayle, if she was home, caused confusion.
“Hi, over here!”
“Oh, hello.”
“Doreen, right?”
“Yes,” the hairdresser said. “And you’re Karen, right?”
“Karyn. With a y. Thank you for coming out on your day off.”
She led Doreen along the side, happy that she was in the routine of cleaning up for Derpy. On any other day she would have been slightly embarrassed to have someone over.
Doreen looked around the apartment and saw how dark it was compared to the outside. “Don’t worry about it. I can use the extra money.”
“I know how you feel. But don’t worry; we plan to include a tip.”
Karyn realized that the ponies were probably listening to everything she was saying, and so she had to make the best impression before making all the introductions.
“Do you have a broom? Also a spare sheet that we can lay down for a drop cloth and that you can wash later?”
“I can do that, sure. Wait right here.”
Although the apartment was linear, the linen closet was in the bedroom, and Karyn ducked back in to get the sheet. Rarity was there tapping her foot. “Are you ready for us yet?”
“Not right now,” Karyn whispered. “Let me approach this in my own way.”
Once she had laid down the sheet she stood up to see Doreen looking at the bedroom. “Is there someone else here? I thought I heard voices.”
“Yes, actually. My friend whose hair I actually want you to do.”
Doreen stared, then looked up. “Oh, that’s where I remember you from! You had that friend with the light sensitivity. I normally don’t have the best memory for faces—hairdos, yes, but not faces—but I remember that because it was so unusual. Is this where she lives? Is it easier for me to cut it here?”
Karyn put a hand up. “That was me, but now I have to come clean. When I told you about that, it was a lie.”
“So that light allergy doesn’t really exist?”
“No, it does, but she doesn’t have it. This may be a little difficult to grasp, but my friend isn’t actually human.”
Doreen looked at her with a mix of skepticism and amusement, as if waiting for the punch line.
“Maybe it would be easier to show you.” Karyn turned back toward the bedroom. “Derpy, Rarity, could you come out, please?”
The ponies trotted out, Derpy leading the way. Doreen continued her amusement, but it really wasn’t until she saw the top of Derpy’s head and the wings on her sides that she started to get unnerved.
“But, they’re horses.”
“We prefer ponies. My name is Derpy Hooves. Thank you for doing my mane so nicely last time.”
Now Doreen started to back away. “It’s a trick. I don’t know what you’re after, but…”
It was Rarity who had to step in front. “Please, stay a moment. I am a unicorn pony and I assure you this is being done in good faith. And in particular, I want to see how the people of your world make themselves beautiful.”
Karyn was prepared to back her case, but to her surprise, Doreen was receptive. “Are you a beautician too?”
“In a manner of speaking. I am a dressmaker.”
“But a unicorn…they don’t exist! I mean, I don’t want to insult you, but they’re fantasy.”
Derpy tried to give her most comforting grin. “It works that way from one perspective. We’re the actual versions of a fictional concept that was created—or maybe discovered—by people from your world.”
“Huh?”
“You’re confusing her again,” said Rarity. “Let me explain. We come from a land called Equestria where ponies are the people there. We don’t have any humans, although you do have ponies here. Our world includes pegasus ponies like Derpy here, and unicorn ponies like myself, and Earth ponies who have neither wings nor horns.”
Derpy moved to her side. “But they have special powers like being stronger and connections to the Earth.”
“That’s too much information for her, Derpy. I’m trying to give her just the basics.”
“I’m sorry. You go ahead.”
Doreen reached out a hand as if to touch one of them, then pulled it back. “But where is this land?”
“It’s not anywhere you can get to by normal travel. You have to do so by magic.” Rarity looked around for something to demonstrate magic on, settling for the broom that Karyn had brought in. She levitated it and rested it against the couch.
“Whoa!” She fell back against the couch. As if looking for something familiar to connect with, she turned toward Karyn. “And you know them?”
“Yes. Derpy is a friend of mine, we’ve been visiting for a few years now. We do all sorts of fun activities together, and one was visiting your shop. I’m sorry again for the lie.”
“Don’t worry about it. I can see why you had to. But if there are real unicorns and such, do I have to keep the secret now?”
“Please do,” said Rarity. “We think it’s better if only a few people know.”
Doreen finally calmed down and assessed the situation. “So putting aside the question of why me, what is it that you would like me to do, if not to cut hair?”
Karyn smiled and sat down facing her. “But we do want you to cut hair. Derpy was very happy with the way you styled her mane unaware. We’d like you to do it again.”
“All right. Derpy, if you’d like to sit down, I’ll see what I can do.” She got out her scissors and clippers and began preparation.
“I can stand,” said Derpy. “It’s just as comfortable for me.”
Doreen ran her fingers through Derpy’s mane and thought about what would be the best style to work with it. Running a comb through to straighten it, she realized the difficulty of working in this position. Normally, Doreen stood behind her clients and saw things from their perspective in a mirror. But behind Derpy was Derpy’s behind, and if Doreen stood there she couldn’t reach her head. So instead she had to move around her front and see Derpy’s smile each time.
She made her first cut. “I think I’ll try something different. Your hair—or mane, if you like—is good to work with, but the last time I didn’t realize what I was working with. An updo was all wrong.”
“I remember when Derpy came back with that hairstyle,” said Rarity. “It was daring and everypony liked it.”
Doreen looked at her strangely, it being her first experience with the Equestrians’ odd quirk of speech, but then went back to work. “I’m sure it did, but for a flying pony the mane should flow like the wind.”
“But most pegasi are like that. Derpy was unique.”
“I understand, but then it reverted to a looser style. When I get through, it’ll look like a perfect sine wave as you move forward.”
Rarity came up beside her and watched the work. “I try to emphasize that when making dresses for pegasi, but too often it doesn’t work.”
“Well, I don’t know anything about your world, but I’m just thinking back to the horse races I’ve seen here. They have lots of money spent on making them look nice, so I’m just going for a similar effect here.”
Karyn sat back and watched the two of them bond. Everything was going better than even she had expected.
“…and I did make a dress for Karyn one time. Karyn, dear, do you still have it? Why don’t you model it for Doreen here?”
That shook her awake. Of course Karyn remembered the dress that Rarity had made for her, both for its extreme monetary value and its odd design.
“I have it, but no, I can’t model it outside of Equestria.”
Rarity looked confused, but let it pass. Meanwhile, Doreen had moved away from broad strokes and was using a tiny scissor to finish off Derpy’s coif.
“Do you think I could do your tail too?” she asked.
“You want to?” Derpy shook her head to get rid of the loose strands that hadn’t fallen. “I’d love it!”
Doreen cleaned her scissors and began again. “Now this is an entirely new experience for me. I never thought I’d have a chance to work on someone with hair in two different places. It’s too bad humans don’t have tails. I could charge double for styling them.”
Derpy remembered a similar line of thought from Aloe and Lotus when she had taken Karyn to their spa. “Please be careful, though. My tail isn’t all hair; there’s an actual tail running through it.”
“Is there? Oh, that’s something new I haven’t seen.”
Rarity trotted back. “Here, I’ll help you. I should be able to keep the dock out of the way and leave the skirt free for you to cut.”
“She’s wearing a skirt?”
“No, that’s the term for the hair as opposed to the tail itself.” She bent her head down and sent a glow of blue magic at Derpy’s backside. The rat-like tail slid out from the hair.”
“Whoa, that feels weird,” said Derpy. “I don’t usually feel the air on my tail. All the rest of it is hair and not sensitive.”
Doreen was even more weirded out as she went to work again. “How are you doing that?”
“Doing what?”
“Sorry, I meant Rarity. I mean, I know it’s magic, but that doesn’t explain it, just gives it a name.”
Rarity kept up her spell as she explained. “It’s difficult to describe, even to non-unicorn ponies. Virtually any unicorn can do simple manipulation like this, but all—most, I should say—have some other spell that is special to them. For instance, I am very good at finding gems underground. I use them in my fashion line.”
“Gems?! That’s amazing. Nothing offsets an outfit quite like jewelry.”
Rarity and Doreen delved into a conversation about different techniques for beautification. Karyn moved her chair around to Derpy’s head and kept her voice low as she did in public. “Those two are natural friends.”
“They have a lot more in common than you and me.”
“But we’ve had a lot more time together. When we first met we had both our lives to talk about. I think this has definitely been a good move, introducing humans and ponies. It’s refreshed our own friendship.”
Doreen snipped and snipped until finally she said, “There. What do you think, Derpy? Karyn, do you have a mirror for her to use?”
“I can check out the tail without a mirror.” Derpy curled her head around to see her newly cropped tail waving at her. “Looks good.”
Karyn got the mirror and showed Derpy her mane as well. “It does look different.”
“I even feel faster. But that could just be because I’m lighter by the weight of the hair that you cut off.”
Rarity and Doreen laughed at that, but Karyn was used to Derpy’s linguistic oddities.
Reaching into her saddlebag, Rarity said, “Now, it’s necessary to settle up.”
“Oh, no,” said Doreen. “Karyn arranged everything with the salon beforehand.”
“Then you must consider this a gratuity.” She held balanced on her hoof a blue gem in the shape of a teardrop, cut into many facets.
“You want to give me a gem? I can’t take that, it’s too much.”
“No, please, I insist. I have hundreds of these sapphires at home. As I said, it’s the magic unique to me.”
Derpy tittered. “So each unicorn has a unique horn.”
While Doreen was still recovering from Derpy’s pun, Rarity took the opportunity to float the sapphire into her hand. While feeling the hard surface, she found it harder to let go. “This would just be unbelievable. I can’t do this.”
“Why not?” asked Rarity. “I want to give it to you. All my pony friends at one time or another have accepted a jewel from me, and I don’t want you to be an exception. If you can get something for it, so much the better.”
Karyn watched Doreen wrestle with herself. She wanted to tell her to take it, but thought it would be wiser to let her decide.
“It…it would just mean so much to me. You see, I’ve been working for so long. It’s always been my dream to have a shop of my own, and I’ve been saving forever to try to put down money for everything I need to start up. The place, mostly. But something’s always come up to wipe it out. Medical bills, or my car goes and I need a new one. But if I can turn this around quickly, maybe I’ll have a chance to get it up and running.
“And if I do, all three of you have standing appointments whenever you like. I’ll close the shop if you don’t want to show yourselves. Well, not for you, Karyn, but Rarity and Derpy.”
Hugs were exchanged, and then Doreen packed up. “Best of luck with your shop,” said Rarity.
“Thanks! I want to run to the bank right now, or at least to a jewelry broker, but I’m sure they’re all closed.”
“Let me know if that’s not enough. I’ll find you something more.”
“I don’t want to be too greedy. Once I’m up and running I’ll be content.” She took her things and walked out the door.
Derpy was still admiring herself in the mirror, but then picked her head up. “We never had her do your mane, Rarity! It’s not fair that you should pay her and not get styled yourself.”
“Oh, I’ve found my style and I like to stick with it. As far as hairstyling, anyway. I express myself more through my outfits. Anyway, thank you two for a lovely day, but I must be getting home before Opal tears up the entire boutique.”
“All right. I’ll be along shortly, but I’m sure you can find your way down from the clock tower.”
Rarity made her exit, and Karyn and Derpy were left alone. “Well,” said Karyn, “that was about as perfect a visit as we could have expected. And you look amazing now.”
“Thank you.”
“But I still don’t see why you didn’t object to Doreen using that sapphire for money when you don’t think I should sell any of the diamonds on the dress Rarity gave me.”
Derpy shook her head, flipping her mane in the process. “The difference is that Rarity gave you the dress as a dress. If you wanted to wear it again I’d have no objection to that. Also, she’s using it to start her own business. That’s something really ambitious. If you ever decide that you want to start your own computing company, I won’t argue if you use them for startup money.”
“I suppose that’s fair enough.”
“Well, I’m going to be on my way as well. See you next week?”
“Hm.” Karyn’s “Hm” was very distinctive, and instead of using her spell, Derpy held back. “What’s wrong?”
“Well, I just realized.”
“Realized what?”
Karyn sat on the bed, picked up her notebook, and read through. “We started this plan of having other ponies visit Earth, and for the most part it’s gone well. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy caused a few problems, but nothing we couldn’t handle. Applejack and Twilight were quite welcome, and today Rarity was a gem, no pun intended. All of them are very good friends. But there’s one more in their group.”
Derpy bounced her head as she made mental connections, then realized what Karyn meant. They both said it at the same time.
“Pinkie Pie.”
Karyn looked out the window. “I’m sure the world will still be here when she’s done.”
“Oh, yeah," said Derpy. "Pinkie isn’t that bad. I’m sure you're right.
“Almost entirely sure.”
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"Almost entirely sure."
What could possibly go wrong?
4175047
Nothing goes wrong with parties!
...I don't recall Karyn ever meeting anyone who bakes professionally. And parties tend to be so commercialized (ie: Chucky Cheese). I'm having a hard time trying to figure out how they'll keep Pinkie entertained with something relevant to her interests.
will it be gale?
DUN DUN DUUUUUUN
4175047
You had to say it, didn't you?
The world is going to turn into cake. The ENTIRE world. They're screwed.
Pinkie Pie visiting Earth?
Well, at least things cant get so bad that she bumps into a Dan in ChukyCheese when berating them about their party food products.
I still think we should bring back that detective guy. Wasn't he the only other human to know about Derpy first?
I am 90% sure she did mean that pun.
As for the world still being here after pinkie...well it will be here but it will be about 20% cooler.
5/5 derps
4175287 But now it's sure to be highly amusing. Either that, or Pinkie will be the most behaved of them all because she's busy observing and having the little felt Pinkies in her brain record everything. For once, she will obey physics and logic.
4175668
Yeah, what about him? Isn't it time to let him off the hook?
4176059 everyone say
Everyone seems to be getting along with the truth alright, perhaps it's time to come clean with Gale?
Keep going! ;)
4176059
4176122
As I said before, I am well aware of Albert. But I'm slow-playing that card.
keep the detective and just have pinkie,,, pinkie whate-wait I got it make pinkie act normal will ofsett everyones expectations
4177244
Fair enough!
THIS is so AWESOME!
There are plenty of unpleasant fates for a world, that still leave said world in existence.
please no pinkie pie on earth! she is to scarey!