• Member Since 11th Dec, 2013
  • offline last seen September 7th

Georelic35


I decided to make a profile after reading tons of stories and some of them asked for critism so here i am. The avatar is from the story Gamer god which i found quite interesting

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As the Magic of True Friendship is released from the Harmony chest, the energies start to change things in other worlds. Creatures start to question things they shouldn't question. One specefic individual is The Iron Pegasus.

The Iron Pegasus is essential to Team Inferno.
He is fast, strong and single minded. He is everything Team Inferno needs, to beat Team Rainbow, in the constant war for cosmic control. But what happens when such a fundamental piece, starts to question his life and the goals of his "Team".
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So... Finally trying to sack up and create a story of my own.
Any critism, corrections and just general help is greatly appreciated.
And i will apologise in advance about gramatical errors, i suck at punctuation and english in general.
Also, let me know what you think about the story and the chapters in the comments.
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This is a Crossover between:
My Little Pony Friendship is Magic
Robot Unicorn Attack 2

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 4 )

Just a minor adjustment in this line, which is having a line under it.

A white pony with a long white horn and great white whings, packed agains't her sides, with a flowing ethereal mane and tail consisting of the colours of the dawn

Else I didn't see anything that was a problem.
So far, it's an awesome story, and i can't wait for the rest of this to be done.

5201775 This is what i meen. Thanks

I Found some fails.

Fleur Dis Lee

It's Fleur De Lis:)

And you need to make all the direct speech i's with uppercase letters. :D

It's nice otherwise.

5204342 Fixed it.

And two author notes on my screen... What?

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