Being sucked out of your own world by a magic spell that can’t be safely reversed is one thing. It happens all the time in fantasy novels. It was only a matter of time before one of those spells hit my world, and someone has to win the lottery.
Arriving in a world where, not only are humans not the dominant species, but there aren’t any other humans at all, is rather more difficult. Still, the dominant species, the ponies, seem to be a nice enough bunch that they’ll accept a stranger in their midst. I think.
The fact that they don’t speak English, or even any kind of analogue of English, is inevitable, I guess. In another universe entirely, it’s only natural that they wouldn’t speak English. Though, the one who brought me here used her magic to learn it, so I can at least talk to someone.
Surviving all of these is potentially doable. But all those problems, plus uptight nobles, overenthusiastic princesses, a griffon with a superiority/inferiority complex, homesickness and insomnia might be one too many problems to handle. And the insomnia isn’t going away any time soon, so I’d better get comfortable with Twilight and all the rest.
~
Note: This is based on my own personal experience with chronic insomnia, which may vary to your experience with chronic insomnia or what you’ve heard about it from Fight Club.
Takes place a few days after Twilight’s coronation at the end of Season 3. Season 4 is not canon to this story (because I still haven’t seen it yet). It's only a mild AU, so no tag.
Rated Teen for swearing and possible heavy topics later. (Sorry about that, everyone who thought this would be appropriate for their kids.)
MMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!
keep it up.
You have my interest, I'm looking forward to more.
What I don't understand... Twilight has a Castle now... a C A S T L E, and she brings him to her own bed?
Ehm... I'm pretty sure if 'mansions' usually have guest bedrooms, then 'castles' must have them for sure.
5204418 It was there, and she wasn't using it.
If you're going to make Blueblood this much of a dickwad, could you please give him some sort of backstory to explain his behaviour or a redeeming quality, or perhaps some sort of transformative sequence? It's kinda annoying how people extrapolate how he was acting towards someone who, to his knowledge, was only trying to get with him because of his wealth and title into his entire character, I know there are actually people kinda like that, but very very few people are completely irredeemable(I have personally met exactly one person as such and she is unfortunately directly related to myself).
5204436 Look, I don't completely hate the character, but I need somebody to force conflict. This does not mean that that is his only role in the story.
What I question is what happened to the 2 other ponies that were with twilight when he appeared? It was never even cleared who exactly they both were.
I also would like to point out that the location, where he stayed, was much too vaguely described.
In chapter one I couldn't even point out, the the information given, if he was in the Library, the Crystal Castle, or Canterlot.
Turns out it was Canterlot. Still it was confusing.
All we got was "a flight of stairs", "a room that looks like a library with a bed stuck in the corner."
Again, that is very meager and misleading when trying to establish a visual location, especially when Twilight is an Alicorn. The "to small bed" issue doesnt help either, since as it later turned they were in canterlot, you would expect Twilight sparkle to have a bigger bed.
img1.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120523020639/mlp/images/e/ec/Rarity_too_much_S2E9.png
This, for example, is the size of Rarity's bed in her guest room at Canterlot Castle, it's almost as big as her own bed at the boutique, which is actually a double bed.
fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/024/2/8/mlp_resource__bgr_008__rarity_s_bed__by_zutheskunk-d55d97f.png
The way you mentioned the shortness of the bed, implied for me that Twilight still may have been at her 'tree library', since they do have a flight of stairs that leads up to the bedroom, where a bed is standing in the corner. I do not believe that she would have a "small bed" in either Canterlot Castle, or her Crystal Castle.
The only reason why her own bed in the Ponville library was small, would be in fact that it was a locally arranged furniture, which was probably previously occupied by the predecessor librarian of the establishment.
As you can see, you need to make a better and clearer picture of where the hell he appeared exactly. The readers should get a better picture of where he is, to avoid confusion with the scenery.
Not to mention as it stands right now, some descriptions of the bedroom contradict with what you would expect to find in Canterlot Castle, as I said it still sounds more like she is still at her tree library.
5204484 Soren isn't really paying that much attention to his surroundings at the time, so his descriptions aren't that detailed, but you're probably right about the bed. I'll probably fix that at some point, but I'd rather tell more of the story first.
I don't currently have a beta reader, but if you'd like to do that officially, that'd be fine by me.
5204447 yeah, sorry, it's just it's become such a common trope here on the site that I just get so exasperated by it. Especially since the few ones I've seen where he's either had a reason for his behaviour or is redeemed from it have generally been much better fics than those which leave him as a flat character.
Dammit Luna, learn how to speak modern English already. It's been two years
5205190 I don't often say this, but you really should be paying more attention.
5205065 He isn't really the focus of this story, so it's unlikely he'll get fully developed, but like I said, something has to provide conflict. And conflicts do get resolved in the end.
I keep eye on this. May very good be.
lol bad English eat it
5204418
Twilight hasn't always been one to think THAT practically when she has made a mistake.
When has Blueblood NOT been shallow?
5208873 true dat.
I imagine if there was a fire under her desk, she'd use the carpet right next to it to extinguish it, rather than the glass of water on her desk. XD
5208895 There's always The Best Night Ever. But I'm not going to even try and compete with that.
5210680 Followed by "The Sweetie Belle Chronicles", which made him an even deeper character, not to mention adoptive big brother for Sweetie Belle.
:( It was so sad that they had to say goodbye to each other.
For exmamplea plate full of bacon
This is rough. Very rough. Most of the text is a ramble that doesn't say anything or go anywhere. What dialog you have is flat, utilitarian, and without any kind of emotion behind it.
5329135 Horse meat
Are you still writing this story???
6439916 It was only ever a little thing in between bigger things, when I needed a break but didn't want to stop writing entirely. Sorry.
6441195 Well thanks for telling me that. Now not being rude but a simple yes or no or maybe answer would be sufficient enough. Because I have no idea what you just said in terms of a yes or no or maybe answer.
Sorry but could you please just select one out of the three options I gave you
6441488 It's extremely unlikely that this will ever continue, so no.
Besides, it isn't very good. I'll probably just start it over.
6442351 Well I will wait until that day
This story got me thinking. Who's gonna start WW 3? Is it gonna be USA, Russia, China, or North Korea?
I think what's gonna happen is Trump is gonna push China too far, then the Chinese will start with a small attack. Maybe just destroy a battleship, then Trump will hit the nuclear button. The Russians will get involved because they're allied with China and this is probably what Putin's been planning for awhile. Then North Korea will try to strike US but they're North Korea so it obviously fails and the US blows them up. Then with Europe in shambles, because of the refugee crisis, (a joint effort created by the incompitance of the US military and the Russians doing there best to keep crazy people noone wants in power) they will easily be taken over by either Russia or a some country, maybe (or maybe not) Syria, allied with Russia. That's as far as I got.
Anyone else have any ideas of how it will happen?
Sorry for long comment.
7932009 I didn't mean to be political about it. It was just navel-gazing.
not realistic