5984476 Oh, you have no idea how good it is to finally see some form of critique! Don't take me wrong, compliments and corrections are fine and all, and sarcastic comments degrading the old description... exist, but they can only help me improve so far.

But I would glad to see more details in fighting scenes and more "adventure" feeling.

Without giving too much away, I can say there's some action coming up in the next chapter. As for an adventure feeling, I'll attempt to improve the way I write their travels.

After that moment when "mystery mare" made contact by radio. Story had lose nice ammount of quality

I will admit my fault there. I could have done that part much more tastefully, but I only realized this after I published it. I didn't think it'd be right to just take it back. I dunno, maybe that's the wrong way I should have been thinking, but unless I rewrite the whole story, I can't take it back now. I can, however, make up for it by making the following chapters much greater.

Had you read Project Horizon? It have "really important for everyone pipbuck" too.

Yes, I've read it (Up to Chapter 71 [still recovering from that loss]), and all I can say is it's not like that.

Story strongly hit maximalism. Too powerfull magic of secondary characters. And TOO many characters at once.

As of chapter three, 1 protagonist, 3 main characters, 2 antagonist, 3 important side characters; total of 9 important characters. For four chapters, I don't think that's too many. It's enough. Like, I don't need any more new characters for a while, but I don't think it's too many. Though, I understand where you're coming from. It's an unusual amount of characters to introduce in three chapters and a prologue, but I don't believe it's going over the top.

As for powerful magics, yup. I'm assuming you're talking about Laguna's magic. It's powerful on paper, but Laguna's poor physical capabilities hinder her ability to use it in proper combat, rendering it only useful for driving away common muggers and druggies, and for weapon maintenance.

Remember readers mostly look for ch.development and FEELS. Plot needed for this. Plot can be important for readers if you put much work in it. But how it is "hey I have amnesia" + "superpipbuck" +"superenemies" +"superfriends" +"superplot"= "awesome story" It not work as that.

That's not at all how it is. The story is only at chapter three. I don't plan to go to seventy chapters, but it isn't going to end at chapter five either. I didn't rush into this blind, and I'd rather not push the plot faster than Demi is able to realistically progress through it, but shit will go down.

Anyway write how you like. I will read anyway. I saw more than thousand FoE side stories. I will glad to read this too.

Thank you very much for your support, I'll take your words into consideration while writing the next chapter.