On an otherwise normal day, Fleetfoot comes around to Ponyville to announce a little try-out/competition. The prize: training under the Wonderbolts, and an appearance as their warm-up act on one of their shows. It's the opportunity of a lifetime for Rainbow Dash, and she's not leaving anything to chance. She's had it with the goof-ups trailing behind her, little blemishes on her reputation adding up to one giant stain.
So she decides to ask her friends for some help. Rarity's got the Crusaders mixing up some new things for the spa, there's no one around to catch her, and the fillies just stare at her so cutely, so she agrees to get a makeover. What she wants is a way to make ponies forget all the embarrassing things she's done.
What she gets is a few lessons on what it means to be a high-flying pegasus, the value of her friends, and the power held in a look.
Quite a bit of side characters to this four-parter, gratuitous rhyming in chapter 1,
general awesomeness from two Wonderbolts, Big Mac and other assorted surprises. Aesops are added later to get the look and feel of the show more into it.
I question your spelling and grammar, but otherwise very interesting plot.
I will read this onetime soon. Looks very very good. Going to favorite ao it reminds me.
I'll read it if you get more chapters (meaning I like the idea, but want to read more at one time)
Stop rhyming and I mean it!
Looks intriguing, added to my Read it Later list. Title sounds kinda cliche, but it looks promising.
It's beautiful! You have a great style of writing :D But really, I need mroe chapters. Stat.
494888
Ooh, spoiler alert: there's one more rhyme coming on at the last bit. Don't worry, it raises hooves to the face.
494919
Well, the original title was going to be kind of a spoiler to what happens in later chapters. This was sort of a last-minute alteration.
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497774
Umm...does that mean you like the update? The whole story's already written, btw, I'll probably upload the thing over the weekend. As for the smiley...Pinkie Pie doesn't do much in the story (final chapter only), but what she does is good, at least I think it is. I can't get into her head as easily for some reason. But it's Pinkie, very Pinkie, that I'm sure of.
Just thought I'd test the waters first, as my ideas tend to be very...weird. You don't even wanna know what the rhyme in chapter one alost turned into (hint: it involves zombies and a musical number, yet it's not Thriller).
I'm working on a completely unrelated fic now, too, involving a Starship Troopers scene and Lyra Heartstrings as a nurse. Not sure if that's been done yet.
Nah, was making a Princess Bride reference.
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Just checking. I'll go back to my written ramblings then...wrimblings? Scramblings? Scribblings?
Oh, okay
497774 awwww I was going to say that.
>>Hiltopper Wrangling. Trust me, I'm a ninja.
497774
Yes! Thank you for catching that.
Seriously, though, I did enjoy all the rhymes.
Is that the end, like the traditional way of ending every episode with a letter to Celestia?
Or are we going to see what happens to the playoffs for the Wonderbolts?
Going good! I'm liking this ^_^ *Tracked*
500634
This is just how I like to wrap up Aesop number 1. Aesop number 2 is for the final chapter, but isn't the end of the story. Also, the playoffs... kind of predictable, yet not predictable, is all I'll say. I wouldn't go mentioning a Thunderclad if I never show her doing one, would I? I like little Chekhov's guns in my fiction: feels like a reward for the reader who spots them. Kind of like the background ponies in the show. Also note that for spelling and grammar, I'm going with UK English. My style tends to be a diluted form of Hitch Hiker's Guide to the Galaxy, and I'm from Flanders: the ultimate Euro-trash. Also, Applejack requires some different spelling to get the accent flowing properly, if that's what you mean.
I also hope I don't get too much flack for insinuating Dash is an adrenalin junkie. The main thing is: we always see her in full gear or asleep, at least heart rate-wise. Her happiness and excitement goes in extremes: highs and lows, as opposed to Pinkie's pretty constant cheerfulness. From a biological point of view, what's described is pretty much what's expected to happen, comparable to people getting sick from Harry Potter withdrawal or after the excitement of watching James Cameron's 'Avatar'. And this is also a noted phenomenon in occult circles, which is why Twilight would know about it. There's a better explanation for it later, though, Twilight just needed to be a little adorkable here.
Not dissing her, btw, Dash is an awesome character, thru and thru, plus she's easy to write for. Thanks for all the feedback!
Could you please not post the rest so that I can stop reading fanfic and go write fanfic?
Who am I kidding, I can't wait to read more! Even if it does distract me from other things.
I just want to make it clear right now that this chapter is mostly setting up the finale. I know it's not as funny as the others, it's not supposed to be. Anything that doesn't seem to make sense in this chapter...I assure you, it will make sense once chapter 4 comes rolling around. Or at least try to.
Also, can you catch the Flemish film reference in this chapter? I'll give you a hint: it involves someone fearless.
Things to look forward to: well, the actual competition (see if you can guess what Pinkie's entry will be, subtle hint is dropped), a little bit of flirting between AJ and somepony else, Big Mac being awesome, and another Aesop that I feel needs to be addressed. Also silly character building for Rainbow Dash, but that's a given.
Big Mac awesome? I feel like Trixie won't take the warning seriously...
poor Rainbow Dash.... entering the Wonderbolts.... with a comedy act....
ending is good. good getting this far
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Thanks. This was the one that had the most last-minute editing, lots of itty-bitty details. Also worried about it being the ending the show would give it. But I'm satisfied with how it turned out, all in all. Thanks for the speedy comment!
529035 you can call me rainbow dash
Fastest comentent in fimfiction.
This was a very impressive story. I'm glad to have read it.
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Thanks. The next one will be considerably longer and have a bit more of a mix of comedy and drama. Also Scootabuse, but not the regular kind ;3
That was an excellent story, certainly worthy of being an actual episode of season 3. That is the kind of personal growth and determination that I would love to see the writers apply to rainbow dash's character. ( she is also my favorite pony)
/) to you, well done sir!
731467
Thanks for the sentiment. My main intent was actually to give a reason why Dash's behaviour is sometimes...off. Twilight, Rarity and Pinkie Pie have their lesser moments, but we get context on them later in the series, we know why they are the way they are and when they act off, it comes across as sad, but normal. Rainbow Dash, so far, hasn't gotten this context. When she's harsh, we don't really know why, other than that's her personality. So I went with the adrenalin thing, and also gave her a logical next step: accept it, use it. Glad you like it, hope you enjoy the other stuff I come up with.
Edit: and thanks for the fave, good Assassin!
This was great!
I'm so glad that I read it
I give you 5 mustaches:
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Thanks for the feedback, and the 'staches. I'm kinda surprised people are still reading this story, actually. I was expecting it to either fade into obscurity or immediately make the feature page ("I have a chance, and it's fat!"), but turns out readers are still stumbling across it. I think I'm okay with that, actually.
Thanks again!
"when all 7 chaos emeralds are gathered a miracle is supposed to happen"
shall i say, this story is... a rarity... but really its one of those few rare gems, it's perfect if you look at it just right.
5 Dashies for you:
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Umm...wow. Glad you liked it. I just realised I still need to fix that cover pic, though. Thanks for the comment; I always worry I make my stories too far-fetched and laden with social critique or issues.
“Then how about a better self?”
-You had my interest before this, but it really spiked here when you "Take a third option." Perhaps it is her Shadowbolt uniform, but with professionally stitched seams?
darkness in her mind despite the broad daylight.
-Yep, Shadowbolt.
“DARKNESSSS…”
-Luna showed her how to do the ROYAL CANTERLOT VOICE? Niiiiice.
She dashed forward to the sweet spot while her copyright violation ringed in everyone’s ears.
-"Rung" I think...
Not that she knew what ‘verbalise’ meant, but it’s the thought that counts.
-*chuckle*
“None taken, I like to save up my coherence for special occasions,”
-Spoken like a true wise fool.
Nopony wanted to give the Phillydelphia Institute of Seismology something to lose sleep over.
-
I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but our track record on heroics isn’t exactly up to speed yet.
-I first encountered this in the Pony POV series. [meandering]The thing with Spike could be put down to the difference between fighting a beast, and a cunning beast that knows what the Wonderbolts can do, and has fought multiple opponents LARGER than him successfully. The thing with Rarity... maybe they underestimated her leg strength. She does know kung-fu after all.[/meandering]
she figured that Fleetfoot was just the sort of pony she could be friends with: she had a little of all the Elements in her.
-The Bearer's personalities, or the Elemenal Virtues
“But I didn’t really save them, did I?”
-They were faking? Interesting...
And what they do tells me it can’t be that hard to weave a safety spell into your costume.”
-So... is she talking about the Wonderbolt's costumes, or Rarity's show-costume, or both?
One suit, one switch, one life. We always havea backup plan, we never let anyone fall.
-So she "only" saved Rarity. Also you are missing a space between "have" and "a".
It used to be a war tactic, actually,
-There are a lot of arguments about if Trixie was merely defending her livelihood. Is this your way of removing the ambiguity? Also, how much of this is based in real life? I actually find it hard to believe that being dizzy from spinning around effects the results of electrical shock much.
You could just wait until the officials settle the matter,
-Meaning looking into the cloud-triggering, or getting it to where Rainbow Dash would be declared the winner? Or something else? I am genuinely confused here. Also, I find it interesting that everyone assumes that Big Mac is going to be fine with this plan, rather than asking him.
There would be a day she had to say goodbye to her friends.
-I actually cover this in one of my stories.
she’ll have to get used to flying from here to Canterlot in under ten minutes.
-Ah, I see... not the solution I envisioned, but then again, I make the problem a bit more intense than just travel times too.
2131035
It is a Riot League of Legends reference, specifically the vocal that Nocturne does when he uses his ultimate.
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Yes! It took nearly a year, but someone caught it! And here I thought the mention of riots was too subtle.
Have a Flutter-yay:
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Actually I thought mentioning a "riot" in the next sentence made it very obvious. But I guess no one else who plays LoL read this.
2298375 And may I have a Derpy-Derp?
Things like this are all I need to fall in love with a story.
Big Mac's using Big Words! This is serious.
And thus did the Great Devourer descend upon Ponyville and nothing was left in its wake.
Pinkie and Culture finally meet and become the best of friends.
The manes have been doubled!
3504516
Yeah, that's an old mistake. In my native language 'mane' is always in plural, and I think this is the only story where it became an issue. Thanks for pointing it out, glad you enjoyed it.
3506009 You're welcome. It was a good story.
Wow, you called it. You haven't watched the s6 episode where she makes it in yet, because if you did you would have definitely made a blog post about nailing it so hard. (It's only a 5/10 episode but you might want to watch it if only to gloat)
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And on my first story on this site, no less. Then there was the whole rape culture thing... one more miracle and I'm eligible to be declared a saint, right? I mean, in discordianism they don't wait 'till you're dead to do that.
Anyways, definitely looking forward to that episode now, maybe it will become a blog soon.
In the meantime: rejoice! The Maresiah hath returned!
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I've seen it now, and... wow, you weren't kidding. From the nicknames to the fact that she used a thundercloud to look better, to the fact that she's trying to measure herself a new identity, yeah.
I do like the episode overall, but I had to mute some of the scenes because of the cringe. You know the ones.
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Yes, the second act was so bad that no one knows how to rate the episode since the start and end are actually good. The live chats were very conflicted