A man stumbled into Equestria through means unknown. A year later Twilight Sparkle saw the worst his species had to offer and, in a paranoid fit, tried to have him killed.
Cast out by pony society, this man must find his place with the other Equestrian outcasts in order to survive. Fortunately, there are more of them than anypony else thought. And they aren't happy.
He may not like it, but he has little choice but to step into...
The Kingdom of Darkness.
Inspired by SaiyanUltima's "Seasons of Darkness".
Chapters (8)
interesting.
twilight, again review the mirror and realize that you only he saw the worst and ignore the good of mankind and then tries to apologize
Oh, for the love of...
This is gonna get interesting. May darkness spread.
MMMMMMOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!
I like where this is going, keep it up.
yay
Has potential, but the beginning seems a little contrived.
They've fought enough villains that they should know by now not to prejudge an entire species, and they've had plenty of time to get to know the guy.
Will the ponies be calming down, at some point, for long enough to figure out that they dun goofed?
5190667
I agree, the characters do act a little OOC here in order to move the story in the right direction. Celestia probably won't see the error of her ways for a while (if ever), since she's a designated antagonist in this story. Beyond that, I have no idea.
Lunatic Fringe? That's new, it's always Selene or Midnight or other names like that.
5191235
I wanted something that tied into the whole "moon" theme, and Lunatic Fringe was the only thing I could think of that fit into the typical pony naming scheme.
I think it would be more appropriate to a conspiracy theorist pony, but I couldn't come up with anything else and she seemed to love it anyways. *shrug*
(And yes, I'm aware that I'm the one who wrote her that way. Shush.)
Lunatic fringe is a term used to characterize members of a political or social movement as extremists with eccentric or fanatical views.
I don't know what think about it.
5190690
Too bad. Friendship is a big deal to them. They could have the most entertaining meltdown over the realization that they tried to murder their friend, over a misunderstanding, that could have been cleared up with a few minutes of rational discourse.
I believe the four-legged bouncing thing that Pinkie does would be properly called pronking or stotting. Easier to use one word than to describe the motion.
5191358
I don't know how canon it would be to my story, but if you want to write that scene I'd be willing to include it as a guest chapter.
I read that as
I don't know why
ponies they act a little irrational when they are stressed.
the only pony who acts maturely all the time is celestia, but see the worst of humanity's actions did fall into irrationality
5191358
exact
celestia should review mirror and realize that spell was unstable or poorly adjusted
and seeing the big picture of humanity
be interesting to see how you try to make peace after to have tried to kill him
5191264 s3.amazonaws.com/rapgenius/groovy-gif.gif
5191540
That could be arranged.
Would need background info. Don't even know the guy's name yet, much less what went on during the year he spent earning their trust and friendship.
Would also need free time. Not going to happen this week.
5199716 No rush. I'll PM you the details.
I like this story! The chapters are a bit short but now overly so!
You dear author get a thumbs up AND I will be tracking this story
5204609
Thanks!
I have anxiety issues, so I break the writing up into small chapters so I don't get overwhelmed by my own expectations. It works fairly well.
I've found that 1,000 words is a good minimum chapter size. If the chapters get any shorter than that, readers start complaining.
5204618
I think that 1000 is a good number for one chapter but I still felt like too much was happening in too little
But I still like how it's going along so far
5204618 and rightly so, for in under 1k words not much can happen, unless it is horribly rushed. I find your chapters to be at the verge of that, but not quite unbearable
and while the idea is quite interesting, I find the execution...lacking. It is hard to believe both princess Sunbutt and princess Starbutt would be that dense and, frankly, stupid.
furthermore, I would have liked to know a little more about that mirror you mentioned in the first chapter, to have changed the Gay-Vampire-Book's mind about one of her friends that easily, drastically, and without her talking to him about it like any friend should
and lastly, if you are gonna change the canon, you should include an alt. universe tag, since in the comics, Nightmare Moon is a corruption brought about by an entity from another realm called a Nightmare, and can thus not only not have its own independent form, but can also not be cleansed of its evil
5190690
It makes sense to me honestly. I see ponies as having a mostly black and white view on morality, so when twilight sees such horror come from a single species it makes sense she'd only be able to label them evil in their entirety. To admit a species capable of such evils could be good as well would challenge her sense of morality at its very core, and when a belief so deep and precious as that is challenged one can't help but vehemently defend it.
As for Celestia its just a matter of Twilight's word against his. Would she side with her trusted and likely visibly shaken student or one from the species that so upset Twilight, one that is a veritable smorgasbord of unknowns?
You sir/mam just got a fav and a thumb, keep up the good work :D
This is humorous! I really like this.
5204706
My only major disagreement is on your last point. My understanding is that the AU tag is appropriate for when a fundamental aspect of the series is completely overhauled from its point of origin. Changing the nature of Nightmare Moon is a change from comic canon, but I'd argue it's not nearly severe enough to warrant an AU Tag.
For more details on AU, check out this TVtropes page, but be warned: tvtropes pages can be massive time-sinks if you aren't prepared for them.
It seems okay so far, but honestly? I'd have just stuck with calling her Nightmare Moon.
Well this is good, however I wish to point this out to Twilight earlier in the chapters.
Twilight, there's simple thing, it's quite easy to use, do you know what it is? ITS! CALLED! ASKING! And better yet, use a truth detector! That way, you won't be paranoid that he's 'lying' to you! AUGH!
Still though, this story isn't half bad.
This is good, now give me some MOAR!
>Ecocat<
5204720 Canon disagrees with you.
She's already given Discord a second chance, even after he betrayed them.
And he was nothing but a villain throughout all his past history.
5204706 Actually, this version of NMM violates both comic and TV show canon.
In the comics, the Nightmare is an independent entity. In the TV show, it was a manifestation of some form of unclarified dark powers, though one can speculate it may be similar to the corrupting magic in the Alicorn Amulet or Sombra's Dark Magic.
In neither case is the scenario presented here a possibility.
5190690
See, that right there is why this story needs an AU tag. Celestia's well over a thousand years old and has seen quite a bit of evil in her long lifespan. She's the LEAST likely to act like a paranoid lunatic.
Luna... now there's a horse of a different color. She, having been polluted by evil, might be far more nervous about a species that seems to act upon the impulses that turned her into NMM.
You forget, Celestia is the pony who wished to save her demented sister rather than destroy her, and even set free the unrepentent villain Discord merely on the off chance he might decide to be good for a change.
If anything, Celestia is portrayed hopelessly, irrationally optimistic at times of the willingness of evildoers to change.
But not always: Sombra was decidedly irredeemable in Celestia's eyes, and she certainly didn't hesitate to try and blast Chrysalis. There was also no second thought of the peril of Tirek. She took him very seriously. I believe she's governed by both the magnitude of immediate threat and her knowledge of the natures and actions of the individual creature.
In that vein, a single human with no advanced weapons nor the capacity to create more immediately, and with no powers at all would be viewed as a severely limited threat. At best, if he demonstrated violent tendancies, he'd simply be imprisoned for observation.. or maybe blasted by the Deus Ex Rainbow Lazar to see if that helps.
Maybe you should do a scene where Twilight uses the mirror again and this time she sees all the GOOD aspects of humanity and she realizes that she jumped to conclusions.
lol
5206770
I've received multiple requests for a scene or chapter like that. I have no intention of writing it due to my own writing limitations, but if anybody wants to write it I'll add it to the story.
5206840
talves this
Lunatic fringe sounds so bad
Its worse than nightmare moon...
What. No, no just no. There's no way in any conceivable manner under the great purview of time itself that would every happen. I admit to being amused by this, but it's a farce so far gone in manner that every conceivable force should act against this kind of rationale. I admit that it introduces Celestia and Twilight as antagonists, but this should be a comedy it's so bad. It barely introduces the characters themselves before it jumps into whatever it's trying to do. This is as far from canon characters as possible. Why would you use them if you're only going to abuse them?
5207920
Like so many other things in my life, I can only say "It seemed like a good idea at the time."
(warning ⚠. Spoilers)
Read Ending and Get Him!,
Ending:Brony goes to Equestria, they almost all fear him, he ties to kill himself after living in the Everfree for four years and being attacked most of the time, being cold every night, and starving most days.
GET HIM!: A guy is sent to Equestria by the lonely princess of the night, he meets the main 6, CMC, and the alicorn princesses who all seem to want him for reason demeaning or scary; fame (the egg head), fortune(who is always talking about earning more money), to mother (you got one guess on who wants to mother wild animals), to make into a pony for a super special, amazing, crazy, jumpy, new pony in Ponyville party (easy guess), a pet (not that easy to guess but you'd definetly see how its possible), TO DESTROY ( who usually holds grudge longer), cutie marks (shouldn't even need to think about who), a friend for the lonely nights ( only night lover in the show), a portal to take over the human world (who has the magic to do that and the army willing to.
Also read It Never Really Ends, the sequel to ending.
My point, just because their in equestria doesn't mean they can't be dangerous and evil IkioStar, they were the same in those stories and many more, also a one chapter story called Savage the towns people have spent years spreading tales of a guy who lives with a pack of wolves in the Everfree, by the end of the first chapter Applebloom feels he is being misunderstood (literally, it's one of those stories wet each one can't speak the same language)
I prefer these stories were the ponies are the antagonists.
Please sir, I would like some more story.
"Lunatic Fringe is a tarable name
this is the best fic ive read in a long time
Sirens huh? And one's from the God Of War series apparently, I like it.
I find the fact that "This is Halloween" is playing in my head highly apropriate
I can't tell if I would be amused or annoyed by all the little emo/goths if I was in Derrik's place. Reading it is fun, but actually dealing with them in person en masse sounds ... daunting.
5242951 The funny thing is, I never really thought of them as Sirens and I've never played God of War. If pressed for a definition I'd probably call them wraiths.
I just thought, "he's immune to magic, so what could lure him off the path even when he should know it's a bad idea?" The scene sort of developed itself from there.