• Published 27th Oct 2014
  • 1,265 Views, 130 Comments

A Whole New World - Windlife



Gavin, a depressed teen who had lost his parents tragically at an early age, must cope with being sent to Equestria at almost random. But at the same time, an ancient evil lurks around every corner... DON'T READ IT IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT!

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The Ones Who Call Us Home.

Gavin flew faster through the sky at a brake neck pace. He was flying over to a huge tree he saw in the distance and it was the only thing he could see.

"I wonder how it grew so big in the first place. Maybe it was magic, I mean, it must be magic! I'm a flying horse for crying out loud!"

Gavin flapped his wings harder only for them to give out, sending him plummeting to the ground.

---

"wake up honey!" He heard his mother say. He hasn't heard that voice for 2 years and his eyes began to water up.


"Mo- Mom?"

"Yes dear?"

"Mom!" Gavin ran over to his mother and gave her a hug, "I missed you so much!"

His mother stroked his head light. "Shh," she said, "Everything's going to be alright, you hear me?"

"Why did you have to crash? Why did you have to leave me!" Gavin cried into her dress, which was black.

"S-"

The voice cut out. Gavin opened his eyes and looked around himself. 4 other horses looked back at him with shocked faces.

"Wh-who are you?" The purple one said to him.

"Rats..." Gavin groaned.

Author's Note:

Looking for editors. Thanks for reading! New chapter everyday!

Comments ( 76 )

Don't you get tired of being such an obvious troll? You need to go stealth if you want to catch a lot of fish.

5194404
I don't get why everyone says that about me :rainbowhuh:. But if you liked the story please give it a upvote and fav, thank you very much! :pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

5194450
I don't get it...

Why do i even try...? Your all going to hate it anyway...

gr8 b8 m8 i r8 8/8. :trollestia:

Are you ESL? I mean, it'd explain a lot. Also, you're pretty tone deaf regarding this site, I must say. I mean, it's not like this story has been done before, amirite? Never seen a white, 16-21 year old, cisgendered American man from a lower-middle class background being magically transported into Equestria by heretofore unseen bullshit magic to fight a previously unforeseen ultimate evil. Nosiree. The reason people hate this fic is because it's been done before, and your execution (spelling, grammar, imagination) is lacking.

Beat that dead horse faster, little man. There might still be some life left, if you squeeze real hard and wish upon a star :ajbemused:

5194739
What is ESL? And I don't think it has been done TOO much before. I think mine should be a welcomed addition to fimfic, not hated because it doesn't go so far off that it's going to become a whole new thing!

Sometimes same is good, and this is good!:facehoof:

5194755
It has been done. It has been done to death. Every man and his cat has written a story exactly like yours. Down to the last fucking detail. I've been on this site for quite some time, and let me tell you, I have seen this story practically every day I've been on here. Oh, it'll pretend to be a new one, but it's the same plot by some pissant author who thinks they're being 'oh so original' in writing a HiE alicorn fic, and people here are just... tired of seeing it, to be honest. It's just an excuse for a power fantasy at this point. A convenient niche with which to vicariously bone Twilight Sparkle, if you will.

So don't whine when people say they're tired of this shit, and tear you a new one. Because that's exactly why you're getting this response. Please, try to come up with some original content.

Ps. ESL is 'English (as a) Second Language'. I am implying that you sound barely literate. You should work on your spelling, grammar and punctuation before you try writing again.

Edit: a link for you.

5194796
Firstly: He is not a alicorn. He is going to find out he is a batpony king in charge of ruining Equestria! (Spoilers) And just who do you think you are? I bet I am doing a very good job so far and most of these people just don't want to read it because it was done not as good before me.

English is my first languge and I am very prode to be prt of the USA THANK YOU VERY MUCH!

5194823
So... I put to you that this is a power fantasy, mostly centred around jacking off to Twilight Sparkle's perfect plot through the medium of bland superpowered OC. You return with 'no, he's not an alicorn, he's a batpony with a horn, and he's going to do some edgy 'blow up the world' shit'. I don't really see where these are mutually exclusive premises, sorry. As for you doing a 'good job', I would say that the numbers disagree with you on that one. Empirically, I can say that there are more who actively dislike your stories than there are those who like them. For the record, implying that other people are jealous is the oldest excuse in the book, so stop that, it's pathetic.

Either way, even if this plot hadn't been done a million times over (possibly literally, I haven't counted the sheer amount of dreck that passes by the frontpage), it'd still be a poor story. The canon characters are flat, and your OC is an unlikeable douchebag. The spelling, punctuation and grammar are shockingly poor. As in, trollfic bad. What isn't bland is just... poorly realised. You essentially handwave full-body transformation into another species in a few short sentences, ignoring any of the reactions you might expect from a real person, like shock, or disbelief. He can apparently fly right off the bat, despite never having had wings in his life, yet Princess Twilight took months to learn the same. Essentially, I contend that this story is bland and poorly executed on its own merits, even ignoring how utterly cliche its premise is at this point.

TL;DR: GO HOME AUTHOR, YOU'RE DRUNK.

5195046
It is funny that you will say it is bad when I have not even released the whole story yet. I guess I'll just have to consider everything you just said as WRONG because of the simple fact that you are not going to keep reading.

Go home fool you are drunk.

Checkmate.

5195180
You see, I was enjoying the sparring until you had to go and make it painfully obvious that you're a troll. Bad call, sir, bad call. You know, I play the angry reviewer, you play the whiny author... I thought you were going over the top a little with the USA comment, because again, obvious. Still, it was fun while it lasted.

5194050 Please leave, spare us the pain of looking at you poop stories and hearing your garbage mouth.

5195254
I think I will. It is not like you ever helped me improve! Jerk!

5195286 Yes, yes I did. Or, I tried.
If you'll remember me and Guardian talking to you on your last story, we did try to help you improve, but you blew us off.

5195328
I've stopped commenting on Windlife's stories. They're all trollfics, anyways. He writes bad stories on purpose.

5195715 I am the worst troll detector in the world... Thank you for telling me that helping him is a lost cause.

5195723
Laughing the entire time.
Bravo sir, bravo.

5195741
Hey, I would've fallen for it, had I not seen the ridiculous amount of down votes this has and decided to check out comments first.

Although I agree, that song parody was pretty funny

5195748
I didn't realize he was a troll either at first. I was giving the usual criticism on "An Alicorn's Struggle" when I read some comments saying we were all biting the Bait. So I looked at his other stories... "Obama Invades Equestria"? Come on, even the newest, least informed writers don't write stuff that insane. This guy was an obvious troll, and unfortunately, so many writers are just that bad that we mistake the trolls for the real thing.

When "Rainbow's Mind Controlling Guitar" came out, I was completely convinced.

Oh boy, a generic Black and Red OC who has to deal with depression. Not like I have seen THAT before.

5197685 Mate, you're just feeding the troll

5195814 No joke about the bad writers though. It seems everything gets through the mods recently. Which is crazy considering how much stuff has been banned on this site.

5197685
1. That is what he was going for.
2. Windlife is a troll, he had no writer points to begin with.

Okay, he is a troll.

Look at this story that he made but couldn't publish.

The Abomination

5197114 Hey, could you past some of that popcorn?

5195286

Stop everything you're doing. Just...no more. I get it; you're a troll and while trolls can be quite entertaining, you're such a fundamentally terrible troll that you just need to stop this madness.

5195210 lol you are just hating. look at you you dumb phaggit you have your oc making out with your make believe girlfriend's oc.

get a life, my friend.

It wasn't that bad. I really don't know why there's so much hate. Is that really what this fandoms about now?

okay Ill admit it the chapter was kinda good short but good but the first sucked I can now see why everyone hates red and black alicorn ocs

5507153 Well there are a lot of bronies who like to hate just to hate. I think most of them have a superior complex disorder. That's most of Fimfic in a nutshell. I'm more calm and collective when I'm not being harassed left and right. Also hello.

This is... wow.
Okay then.

This has no potential :D
Therefore, It is terrible.
P.S why is the main character such a crackhead?

5194404
5194739
5195715
5197685
5362835
5449110

AM I RIGHT GUYS? No? Just me? okay.

5879641 YOU ARE RIGHT
The main character is such a douchebag.

5879657 It made my eyes bleed like they were on a period.

5879664 LOL, That made me laugh. But yes, I agree.

5448422 Why is this so... stupid?

5879683
that was the song it was basced off of

5879683
i like to listne to u2 do you like them too?

5879696 I can't understand you. This is a terrible story.

Newt #47 · Apr 19th, 2015 · · 1 ·

5879702 WTF. Not even funny. And not making me change my opinion on this terrible "Story".

5879703
what not funny? that is other good song this is basced on. it is good.

just liek this:

5879703 Don't ride on his dick. He's just a troll.

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