• Member Since 8th Oct, 2014
  • offline last seen Mar 11th, 2019




Pinkie always remembered that day, the day of Rainbow Dash's birth-iversary. She remembered Cheese Sandwich as well. She remembered the fun times they had together, but when will he come back? She never asked. If he does come back, what will come between them? Some feelings they never experienced? Or something else.


(Editor and Helper:BluegrassBrooke) Art from Infogirl 101 with permission

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 95 )

Well written the pace was a bit touch and go but only for like a second!!

The foal shower sounds like it's going to be awesome!

Wrote cheese well as well as pinkie, can't wait to see more!


5195675 Thanks! And uh, what did you mean by the pacing part, was it too fast?:rainbowhuh:

Who's baby-sitting the twins?!?

5195693 They're sleeping, and Pinkie isn't going to go shopping after Mr. And Mrs. Cake come back.

Yeah a little jumped from pinkie thinking about cheese, to the cakes leaving, twilight being an aunt to cheese coming then he,s there!!

Quick pace is not bad at all is pretty snappy but does steal from the scene a bit you end up focusing on the characters more and less on the surroundings, which is double edged.

If you want the fic to deal with a certain moment that it leads to slow down a bit pace it a little slower and showcase not only your characters but also the scene, the background is just as important as the characters!!

But if the fix is character driven a quick pace is perfect you get inside the heads of the characters and see the world from their eyes, in the end it's all in how you want the fix to flow.

I'm new to your fics so I'm not used to your style just yet, to give really inside track tips.

In all the story is great it feels snappy but in a good way, hooks the reader from the start!

I'll go and read your other fics and get a sense of style about you and then give more input, but in the end consider me a follower!!

5195768 Thanks! But I think this one is a little harder for me to pace it slow, I mean my first fic, it was easy to take it slow, this one is a bit harder to control, I'm focused on the relationship of the two ponies right now, but thxs for the advice!

5195701 Baby-sitting 101 you NEVER leave kids unsupervised regardless.

Lol yw.

Hope to see some cheesy goodness ahead¡!

I like this. I look forward to future chapters!

Time for a story.
I was considering giving up my otp of cheesepie, then this comes along and
I'll go down with this ship.
Sorry... gotta cut back on the sugar :twilightsheepish:

It could use a tad more detail and I saw some editing mistakes but....
Thumb'd faved followed.

Oh my GOEH I can't wait unfilled the next chapter!!!!

5198192 Thanks, since you helped me with it. I just hope I can make it interesting by the time I finish it.:fluttershysad:

Someone doesn't like my story!!!!! :fluttershysad::fluttershyouch::fluttercry::applecry::raritydespair::raritycry::pinkiesad2:

That'll happen. Whatever you post, someone won't like it. There's no way around it either; you can't please everyone. Still, hold your chin up, and feel good that the upvotes far outweigh the downvotes. Here, have another one. It's a nice introduction, has an interesting idea what with Cadance and Shining Armor as well as CheesePie, so I'll look forward to more.

CheesePie also brings in some auto-dislikes. Some may hate the ship and seek out to dislike it whenever possible. Some might not just be a fan. Like I said, don't let it bring you down, you've got quite the start here.

5199092 Oh, thanks. I'm glad you enjoy it. :pinkiesmile:

This looks cute and loveable. One question:What about the Crystal ponies? I would guess they would really like to celebrate their rulers having a foal with a party in the Crystal Empire.

5201795 shh! Don't give out Pinkie's plan!:raritywink:

5202121 Ok sure. I was just worried that Cadance and Shining would head down to Ponyville for the rockingest foal shower ever, while up north a bunch of sad Crystal ponies are drowning their sorrows drinking Mulesons lager and pigging out at Donut Joe Hortons.

I never read your first one. :derpytongue2:

first thing I want to say is that your characterization for Cheese and Pinkie are great. there dialogue also sounds in character.
The opening was a bit rushed and pretty typical for the start of a story (I can't tell you how many times I've read about the sun shining down on someones face and them waking up).
Another thing I would recommend is not over explaining everything. Try and work more at showing over telling.
Along with that is description. You say the obvious and in general the descriptions seem boring.
another thing I'm hoping for in the future is that you don't just write about pinkie and cheese falling in love and throwing a party.
overall, I enjoyed it. take this thumbs up.

5206639 Thanks, but remember, I'm just a newb okay? :twilightblush:

5206739 lel, ima newb too. its a great story, I was just putting something you could work on

Awesome work! I can't wait for the next chapters! Try to slow down a little though, and put some conflict into the story. Awesome!^^

:pinkiehappy: Pinkie Pie and Cheese Sandwich are reunited once again and it feels so right. :twilightsmile: Also, I hope Spike will be invited to the party.:fluttershysad:

5210075 I hope so too. Poor little guy.:applejackunsure:

5206769 POTATO GIRL!!!!!!!!! (Your profile picture.)

Your first romance story? Well I like it! Good job! :pinkiehappy:

5241374 Well, not my first. My first one was deleted by me. So I took a new route.:scootangel:

5241373 Terein's profile picture is a character from Attack on Titan. During training, on of the other soldiers called her "Potato Girl", since while at attention she started eating a steamed potato. XD It was hilarious! But her punishment was to run until dawn, I think. But the time it was night, and the day ended, she was finally done. Potato Girl pretty much became her nickname.

5241385 Oh okay! But, what does it have to with my new picture that I just uploaded:rainbowhuh:

5241393 Oh, I was just directing it to Terein. But yours is cool anyway!

5241400 Thanks, i'm just trying out some pictures. That's all.:twilightsmile:

(please excuse our potato girl shenanigans)

Yeah, I don't why after my last sentence, there's like such a big space. Can someone tell me how to fix that problem.:rainbowhuh:

GAH! This whole chapter was HHHNNNNGGG!!! :fluttershyouch: So sweet! :heart::heart::heart:

5245133 That's okay, I'm recovering now... no wait... HHNNNNNGGGG!!!

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