• Member Since 11th Apr, 2012
  • offline last seen Saturday

Bad Horse

Good stories defend us from bad philosophy.

Comments ( 55 )


The picture is an un-retouched screenshot from the show. Admit it. Didn't you find that scene just a little disturbing?

I'm a bit confused but I liked it so I can't complain. :rainbowlaugh:

wait i still have no idea what the fuck happened did she give them Sex organs or take them away or change them

It's supposed to be misleading, but not that misleading. I changed a couple of sentences near the end - hopefully it's less confusing now. (I don't want to give it away in the comments.)

502053 im still confused as all hell

That was... something. I don't know what, but it was something. Keep up the good work.

I guess this was well-written, but it felt more like a nothing-burger. It was in so fast and then over so fast. Not really that funny.

I won't down-vote it since it's not badly written at all, but I feel like you should really work on this.


sooo....what did she do?

The story is supposed to mislead you into thinking that Celestia has caused all the ponies in Equestria to not have sex organs (like in the show), but reveals at the end that she had made them all larger and more sensual so sex would be more fun. Every time in the first half of the story when you're supposed to jump to the conclusion that Dustin is upset about having something extra, he's upset about having less. So the ending is supposed to make you realize all those lines meant the opposite of what you thought they meant.

Is there anypony who isn't confused about this? I thought it was pretty clear.

Argh. I see the edit I made to make it clearer made it more confused. NOW it's clear.

The story was quite clear to me, but I'd have liked more descriptions of the scenes, like when the spell is being cast. Also some spacing in the lines, but that's just nerdy old me. Mosquito-sifting, as they say in Dutch, or ant-***king as they say in Flemish with varying degrees of seriousness. Neat concept, and I loved the comment on keeping guys apart by colour.

"The story was quite clear to me, but I'd have liked more descriptions of the scenes, like when the spell is being cast."
You're right. That blew by too quickly. Changed, possibly (hopefully?) for the worse. I am lazy about description.

The line spacing is always a problem on fimfiction. You can either have no spacing, or too much spacing. The only way I know to get spacing is to add blank lines in Google docs. Then you have extra blank lines when you export it anywhere else.

The change was an improvement for the worse, I wholeheartedly approve of it. As for line spacing, I tend to favour the latter myself, it's a personal thing. I just think it makes it look neater, is all.

I can almost hear him shouting: "I can't work with this!"

Very well written. It was a pleasure reading this.

I have no idea what I just read. But for some reason I can't stop snickering and thinking 'Oh dat Celestia' :rainbowlaugh:

Harmony and order through prolific copulation.... Am I the only one getting a "Brave New World" vibe from this? :pinkiegasp:

I actually got what you meant at the end of the story, since there was only one way for it all to fit together.

I mean, Twilight actually said, quite clearly, "Sex is so much better with the larger reproduction organs you designed! The older design is harder to use, and not as much fun."

That gave it away for me.

Good story! I laughed when I figured out what the story meant. At first, I actually thought that Celestia was going to change them into their G1 versions, thereby taking away their reproductive organs, since cartoons were SO heavily monitored back then.

i wonder what that truth about fluttershy was...?

I'm not sayin' I know for sure... but google "Cult Leader Fluttershy".

Celestia, getting advice on her next 'target' from an unwitting Twilight Sparkle? Shudder...

I really enjoyed this one, I had a grin on my mug the whole way through and loved the twist.


eh ok not bad but not great

I can't help but feel Celestia's last comment should have been Eeyup!

This is not a story about what Princess Celestia did to the anatomy of ponies, its a story about what Princess Molestia did to the anatomy of ponies.:trollestia:

I got that Celestia gave the ponies different sex organs, and that's a twist because at first we thought it was NO sex organs. But that just leaves me wanting to know what they are.

I was waiting for a non-sexual twist at the end, but: “Sex is so much better with the larger reproductive organs you designed! The old design is harder to use, and not as much fun.” is even better.

But if Dustin's organs were *shrunk*, why did he 'waddle' away? You don't waddle when your load has suddenly been lightened by multiple pounds...

/so confused

Hi, gwern! I warned you, but you read it anyway.
In fact you do waddle when your load has suddenly been lightened. You can prove this at home with pruning shears.

And another awesome (and intelligent) satire from an awesome author I didn't know existed until today. I knew that watch would be a good idea.

What is this I don't even :rainbowlaugh:

A lot of the lines and scenes were amusing, and the overall plot was understandable, but was it your intent to make this as confusing as possible from the standpoint of the reader?

Well I got it. Very nice defiance of expectation.

1162809 1243925 I was aiming for "defiance of expectation" more than "as confusing as possible."


Success! I got it, along with an unfortunate mental image of Twilight taking notes while being assisted.

Author Interviewer

I had to read the comments a bit to double-check, but I did actually get this. It was hilarious. 10/10, would be trolled again.

I looked at this title and immediately realized that I remembered it fondly. Then I looked at the downvote I'd given it before and remembered why I'd done that too.:raritydespair:

Sigh, FINE. Take your upvote. :duck:

1864886 Upvoted? PrettyPartyPony, I'm disappointed in you. I thought you were above such juvenile humor. :trixieshiftright:


Oh, but I am, don't you see! That's why I downvoted it in the first place! :raritycry:

I like that person you quoted. He's crazy!

Yep, not the change I was expecting. :rainbowlaugh: I could talk about how Celestia's characterization is ridiculous, or the absurdity of the premise, (She enlarged them? How come they're not visible all the time? How nice of her to consider the convenience of her little ponies.) but I know it would be pointless because it's all done for surprise and comedic effect. And comdeic effect we have. What an appropriate use of Locke's words, and how silly is it to consider Twilight attempting to write reports in the throes of her experiments. You'd think she'd at least read them before sending them. :facehoof:

So, sir, I give you a middlevote, which is to say no vote at all, and I may see what other insanity you've cooked up.

I giggled. Thank you!

Not sure what to think of this story, but it brought an amused smile.

502227 "Nothing-burglar" is an excellent term.

This should be rated teen, sex not mature, sex. There are no sex scenes in it (This will also stop you from getting downvotes from angry cloppers)

2833803 I know, but Xaquseq changed the rating after he read it. He has one of those golden crowns after his username, so I'm stuck with it. But I think I've gotten more views and better ratings since then. I think the downvoters aren't cloppers, just people with a shred of dignity and taste.

Well, that was strange. I'm not sure why it is that Celestia is always portrayed as being into Big Macintosh. I get that's he's like the only mentioned stallion that's male, but still. I mean seriously, it's cliche by know. I find it a little hard to suspend disbelief about Twilight's actions here. Unless these other kind of pony are more promiscuous or science is even more important to Twilight than I thought, the things we can assume she was doing while writing are completely out of character.

Anyway, totally a :trollestia:

502711 I know it's a bit late but It was pretty straight forward for me all the way through.:twilightsmile:

Well that was unexpected!
Good read all the same though!

1138863 That's a horrible idea and you know it. :ajbemused: While looking through your stories, I realize I read a lot of your short comedies, but forget they were yours, because they weren't deep and depressing. Make of that what your will. :applejackunsure:

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