• Published 25th Oct 2014
  • 2,841 Views, 19 Comments

Laughter in the Strangest of Places: Crackshipping Pinkie Pie and Chrysalis - bahatumay



Chrysalis foalnaps Pinkie Pie. She didn't think this plan out very well.

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Chapter 2

The next morning, Chrysalis trotted contentedly through the hive. Her changelings were working, and the invasion would continue as planned.

She froze, then took a couple steps back, not believing her eyes. Sure enough, one of the changelings who was breaking rocks had elected to wear a cutie mark. And not just any cutie mark, oh no. It was her cutie mark.

Three balloons. Three cursed balloons.

She stomped over and forcefully spun him around. He flinched and cowered as she bared her fangs. “Explain,” she hissed.

“I- it’s…” he stammered.

This was interrupted by an awfully familiar giggle. Pinkie Pie bounced by and grinned. “Looking good, Vern!” she said, eyeing his cutie mark.

“Thanks, Pinkie!” he called back, but when he looked up to see Chrysalis's expression he quickly ducked his head and continued working.

Chrysalis's jaw moved but no words would come out. Finally, she managed to stammer, “But how-?”

“I grew up on a rock farm,” Pinkie shrugged. “We had lots of tunnels we used to harvest the rocks, and we had a cave-in at least once a week. No biggie.”

Chrysalis managed to sputter a few nonsensical syllables.

“But I’m still not sure I’m on board with your whole invaaasion plan,” Pinkie said. “I’ve been talking with a few changelings and they’re on board with my invasion plan.” She jerked her head towards the changeling Chrysalis had been examining earlier.

Now that Chrysalis had taken a step back, she realized that Vern wasn’t the only one with a Pinkie Pie™ cutie mark. In fact, there were many changelings wearing one.

Many, many changelings.

Chrysalis let out an inequine scream of rage. “Enough!” she roared. “We will settle this like grown ponies!”

***

It was the pride of the previous queen. The Arena was massive, able to hold nearly the whole hive. Here, contests could be decided. Winners would be victorious, losers would fall.

And this contest was among the most ancient of contests. Since time immemorial, it had been used to settle everything from foals' debates to diplomatic events.

The female changeling who was acting as announcer trotted into the center of the arena. She cast a spell on her voice box, and then rotated to address the whole crowd.

“Fillies and gentlelings!” she called. “We are gathered here today to decide which plan we will follow. Our queen’s invaaasion...”

There was a smattering of applause, but also a chorus of boos. Chrysalis scowled from her position in the tunnel

“Or Pinkie Pie’s party invasion!”

Cheers rang out, echoing off the stone walls.

“In the black corner, we have our own regent, the one, the only, Queen Chrysaliiiis!”

Chrysalis trotted out, head held high as she headed to the center ring. The applause was weak, and she scowled.

As she neared, she realized that the announcer was wearing a referee’s shirt. Chrysalis cocked her head. Where had she gotten that?

The changeling sheepishly pointed towards Pinkie. Chrysalis glared at her, then Pinkie, then the changeling again.

The changeling blushed slightly and rotated again. “And in the green corner, we have our own invader who made her way into our hive and into our hearts, Pinkie Piiiie!”

Pinkie bounced out, wearing a bright pink robe and a towel over her head. She bounded up to the center line. She peeked up from under the towel and gave Chrysalis a bright smile.

Chrysalis scowled again.

“You know the rules,” the changeling said. “I will count to three, and on three, each contestant will throw one of three symbols, Water, Fire, or Tree. Water puts out Fire, Fire burns Tree, and Tree absorbs Water. We will play best of five rounds. Ties will be rethrown. Are there any questions?”

Chrysalis shook her head, intentionally not breaking eye contact with Pinkie.

Pinkie had no such inhibitions, and she blinked freely. She reared up and tossed her head, shedding the robe and towel.

“Then begin. One, two, three!”

Chrysalis laid her hoof flat, for water. She looked, and to her pleasant surprise, Pinkie held one hoof up, reversed, in fire. Chrysalis chuckled triumphantly.

The announcer shuffled her hooves slightly, but other than that she seemed unperturbed. “Ready? One, two, three!”

Chrysalis threw up a hoof, forming a tree. Pinkie held out her hoof flat for water. Chrysalis laughed.

Now visibly shaken, the announcer began again. “Ready? One, two, three!”

Chrysalis threw water and closed her eyes. She almost couldn’t bear to look.

But peek she did, and Pinkie’s hoof was up, reversed, in fire.

“Ha!” Chrysalis proclaimed, shooting to her hooves and pointing triumphantly at Pinkie. “I win! You lose! I win! My idea wins!” She danced around, pointing repeatedly and derogatively at her opponent

“I’ve never seen you so happy,” Pinkie said brightly, apparently unaffected by her loss.

“Of course I’m happy, you fool!” Chrysalis said. “Take her back to the cells. We have an invaaasion to throw!”

***

Chrysalis licked her fangs as she took in the sight of Canterlot. It was like a nice, ripe mango, ready to be sliced open and fed on.

At least, that’s probably what it was like. She didn’t particularly care for mangos. Or any pony food, for that matter.

She shook her head. She was becoming as random as that Pinkie Pie. She turned around and faced her changelings. “It is time!” she called. “Changelings! Feed!”

The changelings obeyed, swooping down and scattering among the citizens. Chrysalis grinned maliciously as a changeling walked up to a quivering pony… and held out a carrot dog in offering.

Chrysalis blinked. “Huh?”

Her confusion was only compounded when she saw Delta Squadron pulling what appeared to be an enormous grill. Standing on this grill was Pinkie Pie, wearing an apron that read ‘nuzzle the cook’ and a comically large chef’s hat. She was everywhere, flipping mushroom, salting mushrooms, rotating carrot dogs, and all with precision and a wide smile on her face.

Chrysalis stared. She was vaguely aware of another pony approaching, but she was too stunned to do anything.

Celestia herself stepped forward beside Chrysalis. “What is going on?” she asked, almost desperately.

Chrysalis looked back at her. “I have no idea,” she said defeatedly. She sank to her stomach and placed her face in her forelegs. “I have no idea.”

***

Twilight looked down over the balcony. The street cleaning ponies continued their work sweeping up the confetti and other trash. Changelings lounged about, laughing and leaning on one another. Apparently, the excess of love energy they had received had had somewhat of an intoxicating effect.

“So it turns out that most ponies will forgive just about anything for free food,” Twilight observed distastefully.

“Can you blame them, though?” Rainbow asked, her mouth full. “Those mushrooms were delicious.”

“Thanks, Rainbow!” Pinkie’s voice came. She pronked into the castle, still wearing that wide smile.

Fluttershy flew over and gave her a hug. “Pinkie! You’re a hero! You saved Canterlot! Woo hoo!”

“I am? I did?” Pinkie asked. “Whee!” she cheered, throwing her hooves up in the air.

“Indeed,” a new voice broke in.

Everypony spun around to see Celestia. Behind her stood Chrysalis, head bowed but unchained.

“It seems that the changelings have started the process of ingratiating themselves into our culture,” Celestia said. “Frankly, I’d say that if they keep cooking like that, they’ll be welcomed with open arms.”

Pinkie grinned widely.

“But that won’t be easy,” Celestia warned. “After all, not everypony likes grilled mushrooms. I think it would be fitting if there was a pony assigned to help them transfer. Somepony who knew a lot of ponies and would always have a good attitude about everything.”

“Where are you gonna find a pony like that?” Pinkie asked.

Celestia cracked a smile. “I am talking about you, Pinkie Pie.”

“Whoa! That sounds exciting!” Pinkie said.

Chrysalis groaned. “Are you certain there wasn’t more room in the dungeon?” she asked hopefully.

Celestia gave Chrysalis a little, un-princess-y nudge on the flank. “Oh, I’m certain it wasn’t all that bad,” she said.

“Well, I suppose. I mean… I found her presence… tolerable,” Chrysalis admitted grudgingly. Her next line was mumbled. “Perhaps this integration things might work.”

Pinkie bounded up and kissed her right on the forehead. “Don’t worry, Chryssi; I’ll always be here when you need me.” She turned and bounced away, humming to herself.

“I- Don’t call me Chryssi!” Chrysalis scowled.

“Sorry, Chryssi!” Pinkie called back.

Chrysalis growled, but for the first time in a long time, the edges of her lips curled up into a genuine smile.

Perhaps this wouldn’t be so bad.

Comments ( 15 )

Please make this a series,it has potential:pinkiesmile:

if she thought the cmc were annoying when she captured them in the comic books she must really be suffering now with pinkie pie.

5184054 So... what was she looking at?

This was highly entertaining. Nice work.

Good Stuff. I buy it.

5184054 Lol, yeah. I was just about to post that, but you beat me to it... by one week :ajbemused:
Anyway, here's part 2, for some context:
fc09.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2012/121/2/e/im__pony__ation_pt_2_by_subjectnumber2394-d4y6no8.png

Have you ever considered submitting this story to Equestria Daily? You can find out how to do so here.

Hahaha, this so needs a sequel. :rainbowlaugh:

Cya
Raziel-chan

I don't go around saying much, but this was cute.

this was so sweet! Please come up with a sequel!

“With The Pink Horror banished to the Crystal Empire, the only thing that could stop an invasion is the Elements of Harmony; but without one of their members, they’re useless as rocks!”

At first I thought Pinkie Pie would be 'The Pink Horror'.
But I'm sure Chrysalis will change her mind soon enough.

Mr. Cake had kept it under a trash can while Mrs. Cake had run hysterically through the streets until she luckily ran into Twilight Sparkle, who called for a chariot and took the changeling to Canterlot.

I hope they didn't forgot about him. There isn't much love in the Canterlot prison.


Good story!

I enjoyed reading it!

reminds of an episode of the old "She-Ra" cartoon where a character named "Perfuma" (who made plants grow) drove the villain crazy.

Th is so need a sequel

Now that Chrysalis had taken a step back, she realized that Vern wasn’t the only one with a Pinkie Pie™ cutie mark. In fact, there were many changelings wearing one.

I love the TM

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