• Member Since 1st Mar, 2014
  • offline last seen 7 hours ago

Baal Bunny


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Spike's feeling grouchy. Twilight and the rest of his friends set out to cheer him up.

Based on PaperDrop's image, the first chapter was inspired by the July 2014 The Writeoff Association prompt, "History Repeats," the second chapter by the September 2014 prompt, "There is Magic in Everything," and the third chapter by the June 2014 prompt, "Long Way Home." The original version was written as a stand-alone story for the Equestria Daily 2014 Friend Off.

Chapters (5)
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Comments ( 57 )

out of all of the stories on the front page, i chose this one

I was not disappointed:ajsmug:

Not bad. Not bad.
I do feel like it got a bit sidetracked from where it was going at first, though.

Very nice job. I am always appreciative of stories that (rightly) kick the "immortality makes you alone and miserable" concept in the voonerables, as Nobby would say, as they always seem to miss this point: there will always be more friends.

(Which also makes a mockery of the psuedoofficial statement "about ow "Twilight will not outlive her friends" and how utterly meaningly it was (probably deliberately, though, given show-staff twitters), since Twilight will always have friends. Not necessarily the same ones, of course, but friends nontheless.

There are a large number of other alternatives interpretations of that sentence and almost none of them have any bearing on Twilight's longevity, of course...)

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With good friends!
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And friendship doesn't stop just because the friends aren't there. That's how the internet works, isn't it?:heart:

*sniffle*

Welp. I'm convinced. MUSTACHE WORTHY! :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

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So many mustaches! I'll have plenty to give out at Halloween! Thanks!:yay:

nicey spikey wikey spicy slicey lifey:moustache::raritywink::facehoof:

Gosh you are way too good at making sad-ish slices of life! :fluttershyouch:

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It's the sort of thing I don't really do in my regular stories. That's why I'm doing them quietly over here: I'm still a little nervous about trying to write serious sorts of stories.:twilightblush:

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Ah, the ever enigmatic other account that I'm curious about :rainbowwild:
But I was serious before, you are terribly good at these! I totally recommend more! Even if the feels do hurt, they hurt so good. :fluttershbad:

Sniff, that was beautiful. Perfect mix of wistfulness and happiness. There are too many "I'm so sad, everyone is dead" so I'm so thrilled to see one that shows that these two characters get the best out of it.

Well done, write more. Happy writing.

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That mix is just what I was trying for, so I'm glad to hear it worked for you!

Awwww.... :pinkiesad2:
That was wonderful.

This was my favorite sentence:

"Once again," she declared in her musical soprano, "we've managed to overcome science, magic, and good sense all in the same morning!"

It adds a lot to the characters and the history in between them, and it's funny to boot.

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Oh, and I forgot: Really funny, those new Elements. That's what I'm guessing they are anyway. I have a sneaking suspicion that a few of them are related to the Mane Six somehow, there are some big similarities in personality, though its interesting to see them on other types of ponies.

Again, well done.

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The new group was the part I was most worried about. They had to make a good impression in a small amount of words. So I'm glad people like them!

I still dislike the idea that Spike and Twilight are going to outlive their friends and family, but it's heartening to see an optimistic take on it for once. You also deserve some cred for refusing to pick just one of the two: it's not a well-executed tragedy about Twilight's grim future, nor is it a forgettable woe-is-me fic about Spike (I wish Spike writers would step up their game, or already-skilled writers would put more thought into the guy).

When pondering this topic on my own, I always felt the best thing Twilight could say to a young Spike would be, "We're not the only friends you're ever going to have, Spike...just the first of many."

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You're welcome!
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I started this story from the prompt "There's Magic in Everything." And since the title of the show is "Friendship is Magic," by the transitive property, the prompt became "There's Friendship in Everything." And the image that came to me was Spike and Twilight forming this little centerpoint of friendship that would spread out through all of time and space eventually. Then I went looking for a picture of Spike and Twilight and found the one I use here, and the rest just fell into place!

I love how much, well, character you've managed to give the characters other than Spike and Twilight in such a short space.

Very nice, just so pleasant to read. And of course the Princess of Friendship will always be able to make new friends, she hardly got the title for making five (:moustache: six!) and only ever that many.

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Thanks!

I've recently been thinking about expanding this by putting a chapter before it and a chapter after it. So we'll see what happens!

Mike


Nicely done. This probably comes the closest to how I imagine the far future of Twilight, Spike, and Ponyville that I have seen someone write. I felt like you got Spike and Twilight down right, and managed in only a few words give depth to the new characters you introduced. :twilightsmile:

I'm only now getting around to reading your BB output in full.

This was a delight, from Twilight's geeky Grouchosaurus joke all the way to the end. I like the new characters, your Twilight and Spike are beautifully realized, and the whole thing works so smoothly it took me a while to realize how much in the future this was even though the hints are there in the first couple paragraphs.

If you're going to expand this, I'm going to read it. :twilightsmile:

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Thanks, folks!

I've got the section thatl comes before this one planned and partially written, but the current Writeoff has my attention this week. Next week, though!

Mike

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Are you saying...


... there's more? :rainbowkiss::rainbowkiss:

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In theory!

Metaphorical moles keep popping up that require me to whack them, unfortunately, so I haven't been able to focus on the rewrite here. But right now, it looks like there'll be a chapter ahead of this one, then another following it. :eeyup:

Mike

This was a great and uplifting story, and it's pretty impressive how "right" things felt despite the short nature of it and all the new characters you introduced.

It was amusing to see Twilight proverbially poking at the grouchy dragon that's a hundred times bigger than herself (in a geekish, Twilight sort of way), meeting the new gang was fun (as was the fact that, even a few hundred years in to the future, there still is A Gang, even if names and faces have changed), and the closing message is much as I imagine it would be if it was in the show itself, actually taking place a few hundred years in to the future.

Because honestly, at this point I can only roll my eyes at the whole "immortality is doom and gloom, weep and despair!" shtick that has been orbiting around Twilight ever since her ascension like an overdone knee-jerk reaction to all things that are bad about Twilicorn.

It's honestly refreshing to see a more balanced take on it, one that doesn't delve in to extremes - yeah, at times things might be tough and a memory or two might resurface that would make you want to curl up in bed and sleep the day away, but at the same time one mustn't forget that you have friends that will help you through this - new and wonderful friends that you were lucky to live long enough to meet that will brighten your day without fail, and though the old ones may eventually pass you will be lucky enough to make new ones along the way who will enrich your life, and you theirs in turn.

Well done, and I certainly wouldn't mind to see more of this universe being explored, if you have plans for that. Why do I have the feeling that Hoedown might be related to Rainbow Dash, going by her attitude ... Rainbow with magic? Ouch, that's property damage waiting to happen :rainbowwild:

What's going on? Why have you deleted the old chapter of this? If we're getting a full length serial of course then excellent, but I'm merely curious.

And it's back! :trollestia:

Ooooo, this should be fun.

It must be kind of odd watching a play put on about your life while you watch from the audience.

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I'm taking:

The old version and expanding it. The rewritten version of the original story is now chapter 2, and then there'll be a chapter 3 to wrap things up. If all goes well, that is... :twilightblush:

Mike

Huh! I hadn't noticed the changes here... Quite interesting!

I feel like I'm missing something in chapter 1. What's with all the new characters? Or just keep reading? Asking before I continue.

Edit: Never mind. Found out the rest.

I'm adoring these nutty characters. :rainbowlaugh:

Awe,I loved this chapter, cute and some good feels :twilightsmile:

Nice to get another chapter of this, love the characters. With the long delay it looks like the school of friendship got pulled in as part of the background for this group of friends, that's a nice lightly stated touch.

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Thanks, folks!

Since this is supposed to be happening in The Future, I figured I'd better update the background a bit. This is likely to be even more evident in the next and concluding chapter from Spike's POV.

Mike

Thought this looked familiar... :duck:
Stuff like this is what's keeping me hopeful all these 3+ year-old dormant stories in my Favorites section will spring back to life. Thanks for reaffirming my naive faith. :twilightsheepish:

Will be looking forward to the conclusion!

Rewrite updates are nice!:moustache:
Great job!

Oh, Ember. "Yeah, the old system of arranged breeding wasn't working too well, so I decided we'd give this 'love' thing a shot instead. You two! Love each other!"

When I read the short description for this story, i was immediately reminded of the Ed, Edd, n' Eddy episode where Double D and Eddy try to cheer Ed up.

Good stuff. :rainbowlaugh:

9214594 Like father, like daughter.

Beautiful! Great job!:moustache:

Wait, so do we not get any resolution on the Spike/Smolder/Ember situation? It was the brought up and was the main focus of the last chapter, it's interrupted for them to come see the play, and then never resolved. What happens?

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Spike and Smolder quite obviously have a thing for each other, it's just that Ember pushing things makes them both resist. I think that both the Hoedown/Cinnamon thing with the mutually misunderstood love for each other, and Smolder telling about the unrequited crush she had for Gallus, and how she's still seen as part of the family by his descendants (paralleling his long-ago infatuation with Rarity), helped Spike see his feelings in a new perspective.

So, while I'm not the author here, I'm thinking that Spike and Smolder will give romance a try, not because Ember wanted them to do it, but because they want it, too. It's not clear and obvious resolution, no, but seeing things through Vern's eyes here in the epilogue it's something I feel is very strongly implied, and fits in.

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