Going to comic-con. Didn't think I'd end up in equestria that for sure. Can't eat food, Can't drink anymore. Hell I can't even sleep. Well I guess that not true I do sleep but only for two days a month.
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Not to be rude but im guessing English is not your first language. For instance Turtle should of been Tunnel and "But I am dune with you, Dog" sould be "But I am done with you, Dog" and other small things like that, that are probably the fault of a basic spell check program but other than that....this is rarther good.
Well shit, i like this.
5185404 Thanks for pointing that out I could never tell if I got that right or wrong
5185491 Damn. Now I'm thinking I should of worked on this more before putting this up.
ugh grammar!
Good enough, better than some other. Grammar needs some work, though.
Maybe because I'm such Wahafag, and Warmachine not much different.
Gon' track this for the time being, let's see how it's going to come next time.
5186644 thanks my grammar not that. It don't help that I'm bad at spelling. lol
5186393 yes I know I'll fix it.
Wanna do a crossover? With Devilish Intervention?
5202777 Hmmm maybe I want to get the next chapter dun before I do any crossovers. And I think I need to give Devilish Intervention a read before I agree to anything.
5202996 Okie dokie!
5203027 But I am interested so keep an ear out okay :)
5203064 *salutes you*
I like the story (especially because I don't see a whole lot of warmachine crossovers) but the poor grammar and spelling is seriously pulling me out of the experience. there's a group on fimfiction called "looking for editors" that you can use to request an editor to help you, so please at least consider asking someone to help you on this issue so you can focus on churning out more chapters.
Is skill head a thing? At first I just assumed that skill was meant to be skull, but that wouldn't work either... skull head lol
1. I like this kind of stories, it will be interesting if this one is good
2. Asphyxious... Really... Someone made a character named after strangling? And it's official? Wow.
3. You are on dire need of a editor that is better at grammar than you. Tome is a thick book, you are looking for tomb which is an underground grave chamber underground. Diamond dog's indicates a specific diamond dog's possession while diamond dogs indicates multiple diamond dogs. You wrote there instead of their.
Sorry but there is a lot of errors here.
5624128 I know as you can see that my weak point but if you know any good editors out there that can help that would be a big help.
SPOILERS AHEAD!
Unless you planned that, it needs to be corrected. Was funny, though.
Than, maybe? Then is "time relation" or "after". Than is "comparing".
"A is bigger than B" equals "Comparing A and B, A is bigger".
He had a SPARK? Is he a Transformer?
Maybe you mean "Flesh" as in meat, muscles and etc?
Same line.
I don't think you need "!." unless "Soul!" is pronounced only like this as a name that includes exclamation point.
Again! Oh... I get it.
?,?,?.....!.!.
Considering there was "!." earlier, I assume it's some kind of code.
Total: !.!.?,?,?.....!.!.
"from A to B", to equals "towards".
Too as in "Also", "Much", "Very", "Extremely".
Where? Maybe Their?
Seems a few are missing.
Their.
Heard and one more piece of code...
Okay. I'm done. No more corrections. Ask for help in group called https://www.fimfiction.net/group/27/the-proofreader-group
Or here https://www.fimfiction.net/group/97/looking-for-editors
I'll just read and enhoy the story as it is. Making auto-corrections with my mind.
What is this a crossover of
6175516 This should help. https://www.fimfiction.net/group/205425/displaced
And it crossover with the Iron Kingdoms or warmachine as the game is called.
I read this story when it just came out with bad spelling and grammar. I'm glad this story has improved and you got my attention.
Yay transformers reference So pGaspy eh? nice. Curious to see where this is going. not many warmahorde stories out there.
Warmachine Displaced fic? Yessssss!
I love Warmachine! You definitely have my attention...
lolwhat
7513483 fix it
I then lean back over to the dog ear who was standing next to me.
Should be :
I then lean back over to the ear of the dog standing next to me.
Interesting start, never heard of Asphyxious before. And Celestia's done goofed.
I might sit down and do some editing on this once I have a moment, if you don't mind.
6467431 G1 was best transformers movie
7560918
Sunbutt shall feel the wrath of asphyxious hellbringer and the full might of the burning crusade