• Published 24th Oct 2014
  • 2,730 Views, 94 Comments

It Doesn't Matter Now - Loganberry

The End of All There Ever Was is due – but Pinkie Pie needs to finish something first.

  • ...

There Is No Up or Down

The universe in which Equus had once turned and in which Equestria had once existed had had a pretty good run, all things considered – give or take a couple of relatively minor apocalyptic calamities – but when the End of All That Ever Was came at last and the stars had winked out of existence as though they had been no more than feeble sparks from a traveller’s failing tinderbox, there remained, quite simply, an airless, matterless nothingness.

And from that nothingness, there came a sigh.

Then there came a pause of immeasurable duration.

This was closely followed by another sigh.

And after that, there came a voice – though the words had always been there; they had simply been reserved until the need arose. It was an old voice and a new voice, a high voice and a low voice, a quick voice and a slow voice. Most of all, though, it was a distinctly put-upon voice. It said, “You’re really not making this any easier for either of us, you know.”

Pinkie Pie raised her head, her frizzy mane bouncing slightly as she did so, and looked deep into what might, with an infinite amount of imagination, have passed for eyes in the fathomless emptiness of the Spirit Pony’s face. A small, nameless sound escaped her lips: it might have been a squeak of fear, it might have been a grunt of annoyance, it might have been a threat. It might even have been laughter.

Considering everything else, it was probably laughter.

Nevertheless, the moment quickly passed and the universe became silent once again as it stood on the edge of oblivion. This was not the quiet of a country lane, nor even the stillness of midnight, but simply the utter absence of sound. No air now existed for it to pass through, no atmosphere remained for it to inhabit. There was the Spirit Pony, the earth pony and nothing else. Pinkie had simply paid this inconvenient fact no heed, but otherwise nothing was all there was.

Well... almost nothing. Just one simple atom of hydrogen – a single, unassuming ionised proton – remained to keep them company, as it had done now for uncountable millennia. It turned over and over in the void, tumbling up and up – or maybe down; who could tell? Pinkie, after watching it with interest for a while, reached out a forehoof and somehow trapped the atom against a handy edge in the edgeless space.

“How do you do that?” came the Spirit’s exasperated voice. “It’s all I can do to get the sigh effect going in a vacuum like this, and I’ve had practice. Yet here you are, this splash of pink in a place where even black should not be. Please, please may I just get this done, and then we can all have a nice rest? I’d even think about offering you a cup of tea later on, though obviously it would just be for the show of the thing. It doesn’t matter now.”

Pinkie shook her head, her mane flowing in strange new ways in this airless emptiness. She rose up on her hind legs, balancing the proton on her left forehoof while she made a gesture with her right. It was a most un-Pinkie gesture in its bluntness and unambiguity. Twilight Sparkle would no doubt have been horrified, had her essence not departed aeons ago along with that of everypony else.

No,” she rasped. The harshness of her tone was such that the Spirit Pony found itself pushed back momentarily. “No. It does matter! You do not break a Pinkie Promise – and when the pony who’s made that Promise is Pinkie, that’s even more important. And I Promised to keep my Promise forever. And when Pinkie Pie Promises to keep a Promise forever, that does not just mean for a long time. It does not just mean until I die. It means FOREVER. And FOREVER means what it says.”

The Spirit sagged, the endless void of its cowled robe moving against the equally endless void of... well, of the endless void. This was the problem it always had with the End of All That Ever Was in those universes which had once thrummed with magic: someone always came along at the last minute to cause trouble. Well, that and the problem of inadequate vocabulary – but mostly the first one. Surprisingly, perhaps, the troublesome someone hadn’t always been Pinkie Pie. The Spirit Pony had never quite worked that out, but it supposed that an analogue of Pinkie existed in every eternity. There was probably a by-law or something.

In this case, the aforementioned last minute spanned a time greater than the combined age of every other universe that had ever been or ever would be. Admittedly, just about all of them did that. Well, except for the ones with eternal pies. Real pies, that was, not Pinkie Pies. Generally apple pies – apples were, apparently, the multiversal constant that tied everything together. Nevertheless, that endless last minute still lasted exactly a minute. The Spirit Pony had earlier, in an unguarded moment, tried to explain this to Pinkie in the hope that the self-evident mathematical and logical absurdities of all this would confuse her and let it get on with its terminal business.

I really, really should have known better.

“I’ve got my eye on you, Spirit!” shrieked Pinkie suddenly. She stumbled and almost let the hydrogen atom slip; the Spirit Pony’s breath – such as it wasn’t – caught in its throat. Pinkie scrambled back to her hooves and brought the atom back into her orbit. She giggled slightly as she did so, and this time there could be no doubt that the sound was laughter.

“That’s just being unfair,” grumbled the Spirit. “You’re making fun of me! Just for not being able to roll my eyes at you.” It briefly considered raising an illusion of eyes beneath its cowl for this very purpose, but it dropped the idea almost at once. What would be the point? Instead, an idea came to it quite suddenly, and it went on, “Look... if I can help you fulfil your Promise, will you let me get on with finishing up on the End of All That Ever Was?”

“Well, duh! Of course I will! But... do you Pinkie Promise?”


“Um?” Pinkie cocked her head.

“I was just wondering how useful the words of the Promise actually are right now? I have no heart, I need not fly when I can transport myself through the dimensions of all and of nothing at the very glimmer of a thought... er, sorry. Got a bit carried away there. But I also don’t have any eyes... and there are no cupcakes now. None at all, not anywhere. Not even apple-flavoured ones.”

“So what?

The Spirit Pony summoned up another sigh. “Okay, okay. I Pinkie Promise to help you fulfil your Pinkie Promise. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye.”

Pinkie’s beam was a remarkable one, even by her doubtless very considerable standards. She lifted the hoof on which the atom of hydrogen still rested and, with infinite gentleness, blew it away from her. As it reached the Spirit, it too winked out of all existence, out of all time and even out of all thought. The beatific smile of relief that somehow flickered across the Spirit Pony's non-face was all that Pinkie needed to see, and her beam widened still further.

“Oh, Spirit, you’re the best! Now I’ve done what I had to. I Pinkie Promised to make everypony smile – and you were the very last one. And now I’ve done it! I've kept my Promise! Just like I told you, Pinkie Pie always keeps her Pinkie Promises – and she always keeps them FOREVER.”

And so it was that the End of All That Ever Was... ended.

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Comments ( 93 )

this Thursday...... dramatic pause and tension

will do a dramatic read on this fan-fic...

dun dun udn

5181737 Um, why? Not that I have anything against you doing so, but this doesn't really seem to be a fic that lends itself very well to dramatic reading, since a lot of it is about visuals (well, lack of them. Sort of).

The cover image source link just leads to this same page.

5181859 Yeah, that's because it originated from a show screenshot. I can't link to those directly, so I just type in which episode it was from so that the link at least shows that. Not perfect, but better than nothing.

This was great. Like, really great.

For that sort of thing, just putting it in the story description might be best. I ended up clicking on it twice before I actually looked at the teeny-tiny link text at the bottom of the window.


I wasn't expecting that, though I should have been.
Good job!

That was a nice read :twilightsmile: Your way of writing is very nice and I really like the concept. Still, we shall never know how Pinkie does what she does.

5182020 Thank you! I'm really glad you liked it. :twilightsmile:

5182095 I'm not sure anything could ever be said to be expected where Pinkie is concerned... :pinkiecrazy:

5182496 Thank you very much! :pinkiehappy:

Great story, though. I loved it.

Good story with a sad touch !! I enjoyed it very much. Good grammar and sentence structure *

5183678 It's a Pinkie Pie story. Nobody knows what they expected. :pinkiecrazy: And thank you!

5183792 Thanks very much! :pinkiehappy:

5185751 You're welcome, O Ruler of Spuds! :pinkiecrazy:

Well, luckily as you know, there is no Pinkie bias here whatsoever. Honest guvnor. :moustache: I can honestly say though, quite seriously(ish) that I thought this was an extremely good story, which I enjoyed a heck of a lot, and I was impressed that it didn't apparently take all that long to write. And for me anyway, it also seemed a very unique idea. Quite a sad idea in its way, since basically everything and everyone has ceased to exist by the end. It's one of those situations I find impossible to imagine - a situation where there is literally nothing, not even colours. :pinkiegasp:

But that aside, there was also something extremely silly and, I'd imagine, inevitable that if any pony could "survive" it, it would have to be Pinkie. One bit that really stuck with me was the mention of there theoretically being myriads of Pinkies in different dimensions - something that I have no doubt at all would explain much. (Why am I now thinking of Schrödinger's cat?) The thought that she would take a Pinkie Promise(tm) that seriously is certainly funny but also not entirely surprising. And I like the way that she had caused the Spirit Pony such exasperation by refusing to just disappear with all the others. I'm guessing the hydrogen particle, as long as it was in Pinkie's possession, meant something still existed, however small, and that meant even that one particle had prevented the job being completed. Whether that was what kept Pinkie anchored there too, we may never know. Her reason for staying there also seemed very "Pinkie" and a very nice idea too, in its own way.

As an aside, it did remind me somewhat of the Sandman books, although I know you haven't read those. Death, one of the characters, is literally the element of death. And she says "When the first living thing existed, I was there, waiting. When the last living thing dies, my job is finished. I'll put the chairs on tables, turn out the lights and lock the universe behind me when I leave." I couldn't help but think of the Spirit Pony thinking the same, only for Pinkie to say "Ahem!" :pinkiehappy:

All in all, very enjoyable and well written, imaginative, and FUN! :twilightsheepish:

5192336 By Celestia's beard, that's a mighty comment and no mistake! All I can really say is a huge thank you very much! Pinkie says thank you, too! :pinkiehappy: The idea of Pinkie being able to exist in nothingness came from the little scene at the very end of "Magic Duel" (which is also where the title pic is cropped from).

No, I haven't read the Sandman books, but the Spirit here is also not a million miles removed from the Death who is portrayed in the Discworld series. :twilightsmile:

5192876 Ah, you're very welcome. It was a good enough story that I felt there was plenty to say! :pinkiehappy: I did wonder where the story picture was from but couldn't quite place it. Of course now I know, it's so obvious! :derpyderp1:

That was a fantastic read.
Interesting ideas, premise, and execution. :pinkiehappy:

5208309 Thank you very much! I'm really happy you enjoyed it so much. :twilightsmile:

I'm not sure I could make a comment worthy of this story. How you managed to do it in so few words as well!


I'm not sure I could make a comment worthy of this story.

Now there's a line that could be interpreted more than one way! :pinkiecrazy: But given the rest, I hope that means you enjoyed it, in which case you're very welcome. :) As for fitting it into a small space, it's probably obvious that I'm quite a bit better at short-shorts than anything else. What might well be beyond me would be keeping up the quality of a story for 100,000 words or more.


Now there's a line that could be interpreted more than one way!

Whoopsie :twilightblush:, I think the favourite and thumbs up that went with it showed what I meant :pinkiehappy:

Saw this in the 'incoming' folder for Twilight's Library.

I'm not sure what I'm supposed to feel now, but this packed a big punch in very few words. Well done!

Also, only Pinkie would hold up the end of all existence. :pinkiecrazy::pinkiehappy:

Great work! Saw this over in the Twilight's Library post, and I'm glad I checked it out.

With Pinky Pie, very little is unbelievable (in a good way). :pinkiehappy:

5331566 5331700 5333526 Thanks very much, all of you! I'm very pleased you enjoyed the story! :pinkiehappy: As to "what [you're] supposed to feel" -- well, that's a good question! This got tagged as [Random] partly because I wasn't really happy with any of the other possibilities...

5335095 Well, quite.

And thank you very much! :pinkiehappy:



I must say, it's been quite amazing to see how much you've been growing as an author. Whatever you are doing just keep on doing it.

Wow... that was quite Pinkie indeed. Only Pinkie Pie wouldn't allow herself to die until she made the end of the universe smile. :pinkiehappy:

5336348 One of these days, I may work out what I actually am doing. Haven't reached that point yet... :pinkiecrazy:
5337779 Oh yes, it's about as Pinkie as it's possible to get! :pinkiesmile:

I'm not quite sure what just happened, but I liked it.

5359869 If you ever work it out, please let me know! (Thanks.)


"And everyone died. The end."

That was adorable, anyway.

5403895 Just until the next time. ;) And thank you.

Certainly a Pinkie ending. Existence may end, but you go out with a smile on your face.

5414092 Exactly so! Thanks for reading. :)

I've just recorded a reading of this fic! ^_^
It will be online on the second of the year. :twilightsmile:

5444747 Drop me a link when it's done! And I'm glad you liked it. :)

What just happened here? Did Pinkie just... whoa.
Ok... I'm getting carried away here. Or maybe not. Whatever. Great story and it was completely random, yet... no wait, it was just random.

5445118 Random but completely logical... in a very Pinkie way! Thanks for reading, and I'm happy you enjoyed it. :pinkiesmile:

5444999 It's uploading right now!

5457530 Great; thanks! I'll try to get time to listen to it later today. :pinkiesmile:

*grins and applauds* Bravo. This is exactly how I would expect the end of the world and everything to occur.

5477597 Thank you; it just seemed to be logical. In a Pinkie sort of way! (And thanks for the follow, too. :pinkiesmile:)

Author Interviewer

Needs a sequel about Applejack discovering her multiverse-traveling powers. Because you know she's got 'em. :V

Pinkie's the best at what she does, and what she does is very nice.

An excellent piece on the heroic impossibility and bizarre priorities of the party pony. Thank you for it.

A sweet little payoff for a sweet little story. I find it interesting that I wrote something very similar and equally short but with Twilight, matrimony, and bad puns in Twilight Sparkle and the Nothingness at the End of the Universe. Would be interested in seeing your thoughts on it. Oh and thanks present perfect for getting me to read this.

Login or register to comment
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!